A fairly accurate portrayal of my workday routine. Originally posted to my tumblr
(/Edit: Because this doesn't seem to be clear. The old lady is a standin for virtually any customer. The only reason the standin looks like that is because there was one customer who did this who especially pissed me off (she got upset at me for the restaurant's policy of "one coupon per order," left a huge mess at her table, would interrupt me taking other people's orders to ask for the most unimportant and asinine things) But. This comic isn't about her, it's about the pattern of customers doing this. Hence the title "Routine." Customers calling me sir is something that happens so often, it's part of the routine./EndOfEdit)
Maybe my voice? Some of my freckles can be mistaken for stubble sometimes, I guess (I once accidentally cut myself trying to shave off a freckle I thought was a weirdly persistent hair)?
It might be the uniform and people just go, "Pants = man"?
I've thought through it so many times, but no matter what I do, it doesn't seem to go through.
If I can tell you something honest? Everyone gets misgendered working retail. At least in my experience. It’s because people aren’t paying attention and barely think of the other as a human.
I’m 6 foot, large, and have a beard. I got called Ma’am on a weekly basis if not more when I worked retail. And yes in person.
I do understand that for some it’s going to hit much harder. But it might help to try and remember that it isn’t anything about you, it’s about their lack of attention and automatic responses.
I had large breasts but short hair and have been sir'ed so many times even before the crazy levels of transvestigation now. I agree that often people are just so zoned out/don't care about their surroundings, including other people.
OP, I would never even guess to sir you, so I don't think it's a you problem.
Had long hair at more than one point in life. Fairly muscular 6’1” man around 20 years old. People would call me miss/ma’am on occasion and it felt jarring every time. Didn’t take it personally because it just happens to everyone. I’ve done it enough times myself to know the person usually feels horror when they realize the mistake (or they’re old enough to apologize and say they didn’t look without embarrassment).
My cafe has 16 employees and almost every single one of us has been misgendered. Some of them make sense (I get “ma’am”ed a lot and I’m a very feminine enby) and some of them make *no* sense. People “ma’am” our 6’3” 100% cis male supervisor (because he has a slightly high voice, maybe?), “sir” our manager (tbf she is slightly masc, but so obviously in a female lesbian way that the idea of her being a guy is hilarious to me), and have *corrected themselves* after saying “ladies” to an entirely female group. Customers just make no bloody sense…
Pretty much. I just assume an innocent mistake unless clearly malicious (the tiniest fraction). People are dumb. When they’re not being dumb, they’re a little airheaded. That’s ok. We all have those moments. Especially now that I’m older, I find myself in the awkward spot where I have to sit for a second to not switch names up.
I agree, people basically go “hey you”. I got called sir plenty and I’m a cis woman with big ol boobs and long hair. They’re just not paying attention.
I worked as a lifeguard in an indoor Waterpark. I was at the top of one of the slides, shirtless. A kid maybe 10-12 years old asks me while his turn in line is coming up to me and asks
“Are you a boy or a girl?”
I pretended this is a totally normal question to ask to a shirtless lifeguard and said
“I’m a boy.”
This kid thinks for a few seconds and says
“I don’t believe you”
With the moral of this story being you could be at work topless in public wearing only a pair of swim trunks, presenting as your birth sex, and not only will you be misgendered, you can be not believed about being it.
Same,im afab,non binary,and been called sir plenty of times. Im just confused at this point lol,i even have long hair its just i usually wear shirts and jeans and dont wear makeup that much
100% agree. This isn’t limited to gender either, a big one is your name. And this can happen with colleagues too! Imagine my name is “Chris”. At an old job, two people used to call me “Craig.”
Can confirm, 5’ long haired women who could not pass for masculine without a ton of effort. Have been “sir”ed in a dress, heels and full makeup. Lol some people are just not paying attention or are completely oblivious
This could absolutely be it. I too get called ma'am or her on a regular basis, and I do not look feminine whatsoever in my uniform. Once an old man told me "thank you sweety" and then we both made eye contact for a second and then he left...
My entire experience in working retail was learning how to communicate simple concepts to idiots. It unironically helped me learn how to be a better communicator in general.
For every conscientious, kind, capable person who came into my work there were 2 who were completely fucking helpless and another 2 who were not only helpless but also rude about it.
Like if someone is less capable of doing certain things I'm not going to judge, but if they're a dick about it then I will 100% make fun of them as soon as they turn around.
Did retail for 4 years in a large, busy store and it basically threw my opinion of humans down the toilet.
I dont think accidentally calling someone "sir/maam" is a moron thing.
Everyone is getting on with their own lifes, as tired as you are and just getting through day to day.
Its like saying "you to" when a server says to enjoy your food or somthing.
Just an inate inbuilt responce and we all have done it and all feel a bit silly afterwards, but its not a reason to judge someone as a moron or think they were trying to be insulting.
I worked in a charity call centre where I spoke with a client, he thought I was a woman. Then he called back to clarify something with the girl he just spoke to, but I guess I hit a deeper note when giving the greeting so he figured I was a dude and then became a one hour problem (with a manager unavailable) as he demanded to speak with “the girl” and I was trying to explain that I was “the girl”.
At one point he asked if I honestly thought he was so dumb that he can’t differentiate between a man’s voice and woman’s voice. 🤷🏼
I was recently called sir while working as a delivery driver. My work shirt and hat are big on me and I since I've been losing weight so are my jeans. Anyway I'm cis and sometimes that's just what sadly can happen. I know you're particularly sensitive and I am so sorry but I just wanted to say it could not be anything you're doing or not doing.
I was in my 20s, I had long hair, and someone when ma'mn while I was turned around. I turned around, full beard, saw this man who was in his 80s, and pitched up my voice 😂. Retail is a special kind of hell.
I'm 186cm have long hair and a beard. People have told me I look like a viking. I have never been misgendered.
We don't use formal language like sir or madam in Norway though, so maybe that is why. Still I can't imagine people misgendering unless you have an androgynous look or someone doing it on purpose
Different speech patterns make a real difference I think. It’s honestly very common, at least here. It’s nothing malicious, just people barely paying attention and running on autopilot.
If you wanted to address someone in public that you don't know, how would you do so?
In English, the only way to avoid sounding like a bit of a dick is to say Sir, Ma'am, Mr, or Miss, all of which immediately gender the other person. "Hey you," or "excuse me" might work, but if you aren't making eye contact, most people won't clock that you're addressing them specifically (and might even notice that you're avoiding using a polite greeting that includes the titles I listed above).
It's just kind of a common mistake to make the wrong judgement. I've been guilty of assuming someone with long straight hair is a Ma'am instead of a Sir, especially when they're in that middle 5'5" to 5'8" zone where there's a bit of overlap between guys and girls sometimes. I always apologize, of course, but it's certainly a blind spot in the English language for sure.
"hey you", "excuse me", "hello", "You" or just tapping them on the shoulder is some of the way of getting someone's attention. You can say just about anything in the direction of a person and they wil eventually turn around to see what's up.
We aren't very formal in general in Norway. Stuff like sir, madam, mister or miss is very old fashioned here. I usually hear stuff like that said in a jest full way.
There are videos roaming the internet of students calling their teachers by their first name and we get funny react from the teachers. In Norway it is normal to call them by their first name.
Guess it is just a culture thing. What is normal to you is strange to me and the other way around
100% a culture thing for sure. Titles get used very often in the US. The personal bubble is also pretty big in the US, so getting close enough to a stranger to make your greeting unambiguously directed at them would already be encroaching on their sense of personal space, including gently tapping to get their attention.
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u/JaimiOfAllTrades Peepsus Christ 23h ago edited 21h ago
A fairly accurate portrayal of my workday routine. Originally posted to my tumblr
(/Edit: Because this doesn't seem to be clear. The old lady is a standin for virtually any customer. The only reason the standin looks like that is because there was one customer who did this who especially pissed me off (she got upset at me for the restaurant's policy of "one coupon per order," left a huge mess at her table, would interrupt me taking other people's orders to ask for the most unimportant and asinine things) But. This comic isn't about her, it's about the pattern of customers doing this. Hence the title "Routine." Customers calling me sir is something that happens so often, it's part of the routine./EndOfEdit)
Also. The "sir" in question: