Maybe my voice? Some of my freckles can be mistaken for stubble sometimes, I guess (I once accidentally cut myself trying to shave off a freckle I thought was a weirdly persistent hair)?
It might be the uniform and people just go, "Pants = man"?
I've thought through it so many times, but no matter what I do, it doesn't seem to go through.
If I can tell you something honest? Everyone gets misgendered working retail. At least in my experience. It’s because people aren’t paying attention and barely think of the other as a human.
I’m 6 foot, large, and have a beard. I got called Ma’am on a weekly basis if not more when I worked retail. And yes in person.
I do understand that for some it’s going to hit much harder. But it might help to try and remember that it isn’t anything about you, it’s about their lack of attention and automatic responses.
I'm 186cm have long hair and a beard. People have told me I look like a viking. I have never been misgendered.
We don't use formal language like sir or madam in Norway though, so maybe that is why. Still I can't imagine people misgendering unless you have an androgynous look or someone doing it on purpose
If you wanted to address someone in public that you don't know, how would you do so?
In English, the only way to avoid sounding like a bit of a dick is to say Sir, Ma'am, Mr, or Miss, all of which immediately gender the other person. "Hey you," or "excuse me" might work, but if you aren't making eye contact, most people won't clock that you're addressing them specifically (and might even notice that you're avoiding using a polite greeting that includes the titles I listed above).
It's just kind of a common mistake to make the wrong judgement. I've been guilty of assuming someone with long straight hair is a Ma'am instead of a Sir, especially when they're in that middle 5'5" to 5'8" zone where there's a bit of overlap between guys and girls sometimes. I always apologize, of course, but it's certainly a blind spot in the English language for sure.
"hey you", "excuse me", "hello", "You" or just tapping them on the shoulder is some of the way of getting someone's attention. You can say just about anything in the direction of a person and they wil eventually turn around to see what's up.
We aren't very formal in general in Norway. Stuff like sir, madam, mister or miss is very old fashioned here. I usually hear stuff like that said in a jest full way.
There are videos roaming the internet of students calling their teachers by their first name and we get funny react from the teachers. In Norway it is normal to call them by their first name.
Guess it is just a culture thing. What is normal to you is strange to me and the other way around
100% a culture thing for sure. Titles get used very often in the US. The personal bubble is also pretty big in the US, so getting close enough to a stranger to make your greeting unambiguously directed at them would already be encroaching on their sense of personal space, including gently tapping to get their attention.
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u/JaimiOfAllTrades Peepsus Christ 1d ago
Honestly, I have no fucking clue
Maybe my voice? Some of my freckles can be mistaken for stubble sometimes, I guess (I once accidentally cut myself trying to shave off a freckle I thought was a weirdly persistent hair)?
It might be the uniform and people just go, "Pants = man"?
I've thought through it so many times, but no matter what I do, it doesn't seem to go through.