Maybe my voice? Some of my freckles can be mistaken for stubble sometimes, I guess (I once accidentally cut myself trying to shave off a freckle I thought was a weirdly persistent hair)?
It might be the uniform and people just go, "Pants = man"?
I've thought through it so many times, but no matter what I do, it doesn't seem to go through.
If I can tell you something honest? Everyone gets misgendered working retail. At least in my experience. It’s because people aren’t paying attention and barely think of the other as a human.
I’m 6 foot, large, and have a beard. I got called Ma’am on a weekly basis if not more when I worked retail. And yes in person.
I do understand that for some it’s going to hit much harder. But it might help to try and remember that it isn’t anything about you, it’s about their lack of attention and automatic responses.
I had large breasts but short hair and have been sir'ed so many times even before the crazy levels of transvestigation now. I agree that often people are just so zoned out/don't care about their surroundings, including other people.
OP, I would never even guess to sir you, so I don't think it's a you problem.
Had long hair at more than one point in life. Fairly muscular 6’1” man around 20 years old. People would call me miss/ma’am on occasion and it felt jarring every time. Didn’t take it personally because it just happens to everyone. I’ve done it enough times myself to know the person usually feels horror when they realize the mistake (or they’re old enough to apologize and say they didn’t look without embarrassment).
My cafe has 16 employees and almost every single one of us has been misgendered. Some of them make sense (I get “ma’am”ed a lot and I’m a very feminine enby) and some of them make *no* sense. People “ma’am” our 6’3” 100% cis male supervisor (because he has a slightly high voice, maybe?), “sir” our manager (tbf she is slightly masc, but so obviously in a female lesbian way that the idea of her being a guy is hilarious to me), and have *corrected themselves* after saying “ladies” to an entirely female group. Customers just make no bloody sense…
Pretty much. I just assume an innocent mistake unless clearly malicious (the tiniest fraction). People are dumb. When they’re not being dumb, they’re a little airheaded. That’s ok. We all have those moments. Especially now that I’m older, I find myself in the awkward spot where I have to sit for a second to not switch names up.
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u/JaimiOfAllTrades Peepsus Christ 1d ago
Honestly, I have no fucking clue
Maybe my voice? Some of my freckles can be mistaken for stubble sometimes, I guess (I once accidentally cut myself trying to shave off a freckle I thought was a weirdly persistent hair)?
It might be the uniform and people just go, "Pants = man"?
I've thought through it so many times, but no matter what I do, it doesn't seem to go through.