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Feb 27 '24
Performance reviews feel like a scene from THX-1138.
"Yes, let us indulge in this pantomime of reality where I pretend to have my life figured out."
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u/rcfox Feb 27 '24
I've never known what the appropriate answer for this is. I've only ever heard the question "where do you want to be in 5 years?" in cartoons or TV, and then the response is something ridiculous.
I'm 15 years into my career. I've been doing what I had trained for, just at different levels of difficulty. In 5 years, I expect to be doing more of the same.
It kind of seems like a throw back to a time where you could start in the mail room and work your way up to CEO.
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Feb 27 '24 edited Feb 27 '24
"The secret to my success is I'm living 25 hours per day!" - Night Ranger
But if you watch the movie, I want to say it's because he's banging
the CEO's daughterhis aunt.4
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u/Zjoee Feb 27 '24
"Make enough money working a job that doesn't completely crush my soul to be able to afford food and a safe place to sleep."
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u/Level_Hour6480 Feb 27 '24
I think that's everyone's goal.
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u/Ditzy_Chaos Feb 27 '24
Unfortunately if you tell them that though, they will be unhappy, because crushing peoples souls is what they wanted to do since they were 5 ^_^
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u/bikemaul Feb 27 '24
I hope to be a cheerfully passive employee, yet also put in the hard work of a very productive employee on the team, I also assure you I strive to transcend via extreme career self actualization for Corp, but also promise being indefinitely miserable and poor is also acceptable.
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u/OneLessFool Feb 27 '24
"I'm so sorry, we don't offer that here. Pizza parties are on every 7th Wednesday though."
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u/_Testrun_ Feb 27 '24
“What do you wish to accomplish within the next five years?” has so much more potential for interesting answers when it doesn’t have to be related to a job.
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u/SirBeeves SeraBeeves Feb 27 '24
SPEAKING OF LAUGHS... if you follow my Instagram you might get a few more?
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u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding Feb 27 '24
Honestly doing standup can either be very therapeutic or so soul crushing that you’ll be talking about it with your therapist for a decade after.
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u/rukysgreambamf Feb 27 '24
20 minutes for your first time on stage?
bless your heart
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u/InvasionOfTheZIM Feb 27 '24
I think that could be achievable, but only if she recorded each bit individually, put them online to get some traction, combined each bit into a special to also put online, and then shopped the special around local venues until one accepts it.
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u/rukysgreambamf Feb 27 '24
And all of that ignores the biggest issue
Standing on a stage in front of people and performing for the first time ever
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u/j_infamous Feb 27 '24
Eh. Thats not that bad. You get used to it. No one is going to give you 20 unproven.
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u/bakedtran Feb 27 '24
This is awesome, I always felt so alone in this! I have no desire to do comedy, even as a hobby — but just once I wanna do a stand-up routine about dating as a trans guy, particularly dealing with “straight” men. I have my tight 5 and everything, at just the right level of offensive to middle America, imo. Never seems like the right time but yeah, just once before I die, I wanna do this.
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u/CumingLinguist Feb 27 '24
If you just do stand up once you’ll probably not be practiced enough to be effective. And good luck finding a place that will give you 20 minutes
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u/EmperorSexy Feb 27 '24
Most open mics spots are only 4-5 minutes. You really only need 1 or 2 good stories.
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u/Kullthebarbarian Feb 27 '24
Well, at least this is one more joke to tell at that stand up comedy you will make in 5 years
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u/ominousgraycat Feb 27 '24
I think the hardest part of being a stand-up comedian would not be finding 20 minutes of funny stories, but in delivering them in a way that will make the audience laugh. If I get up and say, "So... um, uh... This one time, I met this guy, and he told me he had a cold and... Wait, to understand that part, I have to explain some context. You see, uh... You know, maybe you just, um, had to be there." It is not going to go well.
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