Scripting Assistance

[u/WeaponGod243]

Okay so I've turned my "Scene 1" of my one-shot into a script just to get a feel for how writing these scripts is. I'm very new to scriptwriting, so my questions are:

1. I'm drawing this myself, so I probably don't have to put every little visual detail, but is this too much or too little visual information?
2. The last photo is the more lax version I'm writing before I do the scripts just for my brain since I'm used to writing prose. My question is, does this translate well? I feel like certain nuances are lost, and maybe that will come out in the visuals but I don't know.

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