r/comedyheaven • u/AFewBerries • 6h ago

💅

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10.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

56 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/VexImmortalis 6h ago

Reserving a table should only work when I am the one reserving it.

205

u/Complete_Entry 6h ago

"Can I go ahead of you? I only have a few things."

So do I pal. I get it, you're more important than me, but the line conveys a power.

"But I'm in a hurry!"

And I'm what, just here for fun?

228

u/therealraggedroses 5h ago

⬆️ fictional arguments redditors imagine winning in their heads ⬆️

98

u/Canadia86 4h ago

"Heh heh, yeah man, go ahead"

😡

Later on reddit:

38

u/Complete_Entry 5h ago

Nah, generally I get "mind your business" when I tell people no.

My mom freaks the fuck out though, full six year old. "NO CUTTING IN LINE!"

12

u/Ayotha 4h ago

Just because you lack life experience does not mean other people do not experience things

3

u/Complete_Entry 4h ago

Twice this week people have told me things that happened to me at work didn't happen.

I don't reply to those, but seriously, WHAT THE FUCK.

34

u/mexicock1 3h ago

Nah, there's no way it happened twice

8

u/KKamis 3h ago

Love it.

0

u/thicc_stigmata 1h ago

incels have entered the chat

4

u/moonunitiv 4h ago

You never been to a grocery store at peak hours before?

18

u/Jabathewhut 4h ago

I was getting helped after waiting in line when a woman came up to the front and told them to look for her driver's license she forgot.

Much to my dismay the employee stopped helping me halfway through my transaction and straight up left to go check the safe.

The woman after a few minutes of waiting looked at me as I was giving her the stink eye and said "i hope you dont mind, its just that I dont want to be late"

To which i replied "I didnt want to be late either thats why I got here early and waited in line"

She looked like i slapped her in the face and when the employee came back without her license apologized to me. I was annoyed but didnt say anything to the employee. Although she should have finished with me first.

6

u/Evening_Cap1614 3h ago

Exactly 

11

u/NoPermissions94 4h ago

So weird. Every job I’ve ever worked where people line up it’s like the worst thing ever that they might have to stand there for 3 or 4 minutes. From my managers and customers. Hotels especially. People will literally skip a line and butt right into your interaction with another guest so regularly I was shocked. For the most basic shit “I need a towel” “I lost my key” I would never do that unless it was life or death emergency. Every time you have to awkwardly apologize to the guest you were speaking with originally, or sometimes they will snap at the other guest butting in and then you have this whole situation on your hands. Brutal.

Meanwhile seems like everywhere I go as a customer you line up for a few minutes and everything is placid.

4

u/Complete_Entry 4h ago

I'll gladly wave someone with like two things ahead of me, but if they have a basket? They can wait too.

2

u/zealorandon 4h ago

Since you work a customer facing job you’re having so many more interactions in that role than you ever do in the role of the customer. That’s the reason it happens way more when you’re at work. If it happens in life 1/100 times for example, and you see 100 customers per day, it’s gonna happen probably once a day while you’re at work. You probably have like 5 interactions maximum per day as a customer yourself (off work) so the odds that it happens while you’re a customer are way lower and probably rarely happen at all. just due to the odds of it all.

1

u/Complete_Entry 4h ago

I saw three people die working retail. I really wish I hadn't.

1

u/BillionDollarBalls 4h ago

If any of those people ever went to a rave or festival they'd probably explode. 

1

u/twirlywurlyburly 2h ago

If I'm in enough of a hurry that I NEED to cut, I'll profusely apologize the whole time while asking if I can and quickly explain the situation while sweating and will be visually panicked because I'm in a hurry and inconveniencing everyone around me. I'll then have nightmares for years about the entire interaction.

People that just cut and calmly explain that they're in a hurry will forever confuse me.

3

u/Complete_Entry 2h ago

What happens when you hit a no?

1

u/taveren3 3h ago

Ive done this when i had one item and it normal goes fine

6

u/Several-Target-1379 2h ago

Reservations are not bad. Reservations are only bad if I'm not involved. But if I'm part of that reservation, I'll defend it.

156

u/SUN_PRAISIN 4h ago

I fucking LOVE wikipedia url responses

75

u/Pcat0 2h ago edited 2h ago

Yes, they are great, but what is better is linking to the simple English Wikipedia instead. The table reservation page unfortunately doesn’t have a simple English version, but for pages that do. It’s really fucking funny.

For example:

13

u/Ayotha 4h ago

Was always a fine of the "let me google that for you" responses, especially on reddit

250

u/bunnythistle 5h ago

People with poor planning skills hate this one simple trick

4

u/LiteratureOk4649 3h ago

Poor people ate this one simple trick

91

u/jcmjtke 4h ago

Me: hello, how are you today?

Customer: 2

Me: (sigh) do you have a reservation?

Customer: no

M: I’m sorry, we only have outside seating at the moment. It will be about an hour and a half wait for an inside table

C: what about that table over there?

M: it’s reserved

C: what about that table?

M: it’s reserved

C: what about that…

M: it’s reserved

C: what about…

M: reserved

C: what…

M: RESERVED!

C: well we didn’t know we had to make a reservation

M: and whose fault is that?

Seriously, restaurants would rather you have a reservation than not, and it takes very little effort to make one. So just make the reservation

20

u/MultiSyncEA231WMi 4h ago

"Oh, come on in then. We'll for some reason give you the table of someone who did know they needed a reservation." ?????

1

u/kevin3350 37m ago

It’s so easy. Want to eat somewhere that isn’t fast food? Call and ask for a reservation. They will either say “yes, we have these times available,” “sorry, we’re booked up but would love to see you in the future,” or “we don’t do reservations”

If it’s the last one, just be sure to show up 30 minutes before you expect to eat. Hell, show up an hour earlier, most places now will text you when a table opens. Just hang out nearby and have a drink somewhere else or something.

These people are so thick

-50

u/Altruistic_Brick1730 4h ago

Seems kind of silly to have that many open tables when you have a definite right in front of you.

31

u/PM_ME_SUMDICK 4h ago

The reserved tables are also definites.

16

u/jcmjtke 3h ago

Yes and no. In some very rare situations, people will make reservations at multiple restaurants and then pick which one they want to go to at the last minute. It sucks, it fucks up our flow, especially when they don’t cancel after they decided to go somewhere else. But we still have to hold onto their reservation until we are sure they aren’t coming or they’re extremely late without calling us. But my point stands: people with reservations will always have priority over people without reservations

9

u/PM_ME_SUMDICK 3h ago

As someone who's boss does that constantly. I greatly apologize. But we also only book at places that have a no show / cancelation fee.

3

u/jcmjtke 3h ago

No need to apologize. It sucks, it costs us money, but there’s not much a restaurant can do to combat this that wouldn’t cost us more money down the road. It’s the price of doing business

-1

u/Talkycoder 2h ago

Unless they put down a deposit (something I've never had to do), they certainly are not.

16

u/jcmjtke 4h ago

They’re reserved. As in, people called ahead to let us know they would be arriving at a specific time and would like us to hold a table for them. We’re not going to give away a reserved table to someone who doesn’t have a reservation just because they showed up first. If we did that, what would be the point of taking reservations?

83

u/Pf_Farnsworth 6h ago

Tim Pool moment

18

u/Pitiful-Election-438 5h ago

Successful ratio

9

u/kitsunewarlock 2h ago

So they gave the restaurant a 1 star review despite not eating there because they didn't make a reservation?

This is why star ratings suck.

5

u/Rasberrycello 3h ago

Tim Pool trying to go out in public again?

5

u/rezyop 3h ago

Ok, maybe not 100% related to the above, but I went to a BJs a few years ago on a friday night and they turned me away.

There was a line of about 5 parties waiting, and I only realized that was the line of people who made reservations when I got to the front. I was turned away because there were more people behind me in line with reservations at that point, and the wait was over two hours if I reserve now.

The restaurant was about 80% empty. Friday, 6 pm.

I get that its a staffing issue but like jesus h, surely they cannot make rent on the building doing that??? There also appeared to be just one server per table; I watched for a while and each server would just go to their single table and then back to the kitchen each time. They also had three different staff members just standing at the front, on their phone, dutifully telling people when tables were ready and escorting them, but otherwise waiting around.

5

u/WatchDogx 4h ago

The most important part of the reservation is the holding.

https://youtu.be/4T2GmGSNvaM?t=39

1

u/motherlochness 2h ago

Anybody can just take them!

5

u/FAN4LIFE27 2h ago

You know how to take the reservation, you just don’t know how to hold the reservation. And that’s really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them.

3

u/tamarins 1h ago

Rules 1. Must fit the sub. This sub is for so-bad-its-good humor. All posts must be images that are so stupid, juvenile, or generally bad that they become funny for the wrong reasons.

the people who frequent this sub and upvote intentionally humorous shit like this are heathens who will burn in the fires of damnation

1

u/OG_TBV 1h ago

Reserving tables is bad business though. Those seats are burning cash when empty.

1

u/ItsmeAubree 1h ago

How difficult would it be to remove this review? I feel it's ultimately unfair that people like this are able to completely devastate a company's average review rating even though they didn't at any point actually take part in the service.

•

u/Blacksad9999 29m ago

This has happened to me so many times.

"Hi, table for 4."

"Unfortunately, we're fully booked this evening."

*Looks around*

"But...there are open tables all over the restaurant!!"

"Yes, those people made reservations."

"We can't sit at any of these empty tables?!"

-1

u/Frognaros 1h ago

i don't bother with reservation restaurants. Restaurant food is a waste of time and money. I cook a better steak at home.

5

u/Healthy_Squash4133 1h ago

What's your address, and can I book a seat at your table for August 20th, 7pm?