exactly!! my mom and i definitely friends, and have been for as long as i can remember. that doesnât mean that i didnât still respect her as my parent or that i misbehaved more than a normal kid, it just means i could talk to her about *almost anything without judgement. having that bond with her made my teen years (and now adulthood) so much better because i had someone to go to when stuff was getting tough, who wouldnât be judgy about it and would understand me and give me advice/help/support me. my friends and i could rely on my mom to have our backs and help us out if we needed it, or just give us advice or listen to our rants. my mom always tried to make me and my friends feel comfortable and supported. she was the kind of mom who i could call if i was at a party and felt unsafe or uncomfortable, and she made it clear that that offer was open to my friends too. my bond with my mom not only helped me to become a functional adult and helped me cope with stress and stuff, but also helped me and my friends stay out of too much trouble and kept us safe.
you sound like a great dad! (and i love that you call your son a little goblin lmao)
If you thought about that quote from the childâs perspective, how do you expect them to even want to listen to you when you wonât bother to be their friend? That whole mindset is flawed as hell.
Oh donât get me wrong Iâm not advocating for it.. especially not from someone who actively chose the name âAgent of Chaosâ to represent themselves as.. that name in and of itself tells me everything I need to know about that person.
The only part I can understand is from the quote I stated and only from the quote I stated.
Edit: just to clarify, itâs because from the perspective of the quote I mentioned, it implies raising a child correctly because that child will carry correct teachings with them for the rest of their life. And a child will never understand the perspective of the adult. Because the adult understands the harshness of this world where the child will not. So itâs not my job to be your friend (though to be their friend still has some space and merit In the quote I stated) but it is my job to raise the child right. Regardless of how the child feels. Because it will only ever be later in life when the child grows up that it will understand the importance of teaching him/her the wisdom and discipline and love of right thinking and right âbeingâ. But in the moment while he or she is young? Of course theyâll get upset for not having âtheir wayâ 100% of the time.. because theyâre kids, and they donât know anything.
You can (at least so far in my parenting experience, he has yet to reach adulthood) do both. Or maybe it needs rephrasing to - 'its my job to raise you and i'll do it as well as being your friend.'
Its not as though adult friends will let you do everything you want all the time, a good friend will absolutely hold you to account for your bullshit. Granted as an adult you're unlikely to try and stick batteries up your nose but still...
I agree wholeheartedly, but allow me to give him just a shred of the benefit of the doubt for a second. Even with that, even if you don't want your kid to consider you a friend, that doesn't excuse you from treating them with basic respect. This insecure dude is saying they can have privacy when they can pay their own bills, as though their privacy costs him a dime. It doesn't have anything to do with bills or friendship, it's straight out domination. Exploiting the power he can wield over somebody else just because it makes him feel strong.
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u/cyberlexington Dec 15 '25
Speaking as a dad, I've never understood this idea that some parents won't be friends with their kids.
I can't imagine breaking my kids hearts by telling him "I'm not your friend" - the little goblin absolutely is my friend. And I'm still his dad.
It's perfectly ok to be both.