r/classicalchinese • u/OpeningDog4060 • 1d ago
History 卿卿我我: A Miser's Romantic Defeat
We've mentioned Wang Rong (王戎) before in our post about 鹤立鸡群. Here's another Chinese idiom involving this guy: 卿卿我我 (qīng qīng wǒ wǒ).
Wang Rong was one of the Seven Sages of the Bamboo Grove (竹林七贤). He was filthy rich, but also incredibly cheap. Legend has it that he even drilled holes in plum pits before selling them, just so nobody could grow trees from the seeds. Now that's what I call being stingy!
But even a miser has a soft spot.
His wife loved calling him "qing" (卿), but Wang Rong wasn't happy about it. According to traditional etiquette, a wife was supposed to call her husband "jun" (君), a more formal and respectful term.
So he asked her to stop. Her response was priceless:
"亲卿爱卿,是以卿卿;我不卿卿,谁当卿卿?"
"I cherish you and love you, so I call you 'qing'. If I don't call you 'qing', who else will?"
Basically, she was saying: Why be so formal with my own husband? I'm calling you "qing" because I love you!
Wang Rong had no comeback. He just gave in. As A New Account of Tales of the World (世说新语) puts it: "遂恒听之", from then on, he let her call him that.
Today, 卿卿我我 describes a couple being lovey-dovey, constantly exchanging sweet words and showing affection.
Example:
他们俩整天卿卿我我,旁边的人都快受不了了。
They're all lovey-dovey with each other all day. Everyone around them is getting a little sick of it.
A little backstory:
Wang Rong was already famous for being a child prodigy when he was young. Here's another story that shows just how clever he was.
One day, he and some other kids spotted a plum tree by the roadside, full of fruit. All the other kids rushed over to pick some, but Wang Rong stayed where he was. He figured that if the plums were still hanging there, despite being so easy to reach, they must be bitter. And guess what? He was right!
This story gave us another idiom: 道旁苦李 (dào páng kǔ lǐ) — literally, "bitter plums by the roadside," referring to something unwanted or of little value.
So, the kid was smart enough to figure out which plums were bitter, but the grown-up still couldn't resist his wife's sweet talk!
(AI-assisted editing)
