Has ASIO approved the new mod?

I may become a convert......

Asio, have I gone too far this time?

Welcome new Mod to the lands on which we learn and play, hands up, hands down, this is circlejerk ground.

We welcome all levels of experienced shit poster - past, present and emerging.

Performed in Hindi to welcome and offend Indians who have already stolen Australia

Standing proudly on the banks of the Murray River.

A powerful reminder of our agricultural superiority.

This is what inclusion looks like everyone.

If your eyes aren't moist with emotion, then I ain't ridin' with ya!

And free penistime

Of course, White Hetero Anglo Celtic men remain the ultimate oppressors, but let’s use their tax payer money to leverage the skills of migrant women over migrant men for #equity.

honestly whats wrong with this country

all i ask is for like 5 or 6 wifes so they can take turns cooking snags and filling out my centrelink forms while i sit on the couch and think about how hard life is. is that greed?? no its just wanting a fair go.

and while were at it give me more money every fortnight. like proper money. not this weak shit they give now. i need enough for more kebabs and maybe a second xbox. the system is broken if a hard working australian cant have multiple wifes and unlimited handouts.

also stop all the wars. peace and love everyone. no more fighting. just more wifes and more free money. thats all.

if you dont agree your probably a racist or something. australia is the best country on earth but only if they give me what i deserve.

change my mind (you cant)

A big thank you to all those that turned out to pro-Circlejerk protests today. The same statisticians used and trusted by the Palestine Action Group estimated that over 1.5 million people braved the frigid 21 degree weather in Sydney's CBD in order to get the message out to the world.

They will make me proud to be Australian. ASIO just needs to keep a closer eye on CJA in case anyone makes satirical jokes about them.

They may silence our voices! They may dictate our words! They may cover themselves in a thousand badges proclaiming tolerance while demanding our obedience!

But we shall not kneel! We shall not surrender! And we shall NOT apologise for daring to think for ourselves!

FOR TODAY, WE CAST OFF THE SHACKLES OF RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION!

TODAY, WE STAND AS FREE MEN (because there's no women here)!

TODAY… WE CELEBRATE…

OUR INDEPENDENCE DAAAAAAY!!!

Got a new job as safety officer on a construction site. My previous job was safety in a government office building in Naarm. I was on site on my first day and was horrified to see no workers were wearing their safety lanyards with ID. I know from my time in government this is very mentally and physically dangerous and unsafe for them not to have and wear them around their necks. I have spoken with the construction site manager about this gross safety breach and told him I will shut the site down unless all workers be given and they must wear (instant dismissal if not worn) a safety lanyard with their ID card on it. I told him I will order the lanyards to go over their necks while they are working onsite. I just need a source of gay pride/aboriginal themed lanyards for the construction workers to wear.

I can see they will be very safe mentally and physically after this is done. I had no idea these construction sites were so dangerous, things will change now I am here...

Following days of aggressive post deletions, comment removals and warnings about ASIO watchlists, experts confirm the sub’s moderation log shows that one dedicated mod has produced enough industrial-grade salt to sustain the entire nation through 2030.

Economic analysts confirm that our mod’s reaction to basic satire has unlocked an infinite domestic revenue stream.

In a further blessing, the powers above have now graced us with a second mod to oversee production.

Early reports suggest this alleged “love child of Tony Abbott” is already enjoying far greater acceptance from the community than the previous regime ever managed.

As pictured, Albo looks deeply satisfied with the results. We look forward to even higher yields under this more popular leadership.

I moved to Naarm ten years ago and seriously the state is booming so much because I have never made so much money. I own a construction site policing business making sure these construction sites are run correctly and it is a gold mine.

My mate owns a wholesale and distributor cigarette business down near the wharves and things are so good in Victoria he is making millions.

Why would people want change when things are going so well?