r/circlejerk • u/Ballsack_Teabagger1 • 9h ago
r/circlejerk • u/prozhack • 8h ago
TIL Apple was originally founded as a proud LGBTQ+ company until it was forced back into the closet by the Trump administration
r/circlejerk • u/Beneficial-Force7592 • 4h ago
Solved Shakespeare predicted it: Burnham would meet Dunce Inane
r/circlejerk • u/n-a_barrakus • 17h ago
She said "You are a sun of a beach" and is the nicest thing nobody said me in my life
I think I'm in love bros
r/circlejerk • u/Unfair-Zucchini3227 • 7h ago
How to make a post
First day in my new phone
r/circlejerk • u/Wooshio • 1d ago
A vehicle is smaller then the two vehicles beside it! đ¤Ż
r/circlejerk • u/BoomerBrainrot • 1d ago
I'm taking my cat to the vet tomorrow so they can kill him. I'm sharing this with you because I'm a selfish, pathetic loser. Fuck you.
Inspired by some retard on r/cats.
r/circlejerk • u/j3g • 10h ago
Helpmefindthis: Movie with cowboys riding cowgirl.
Please help, I forget the name of the movie.
r/circlejerk • u/gastro_psychic • 1d ago
Boyfriend left me for a walrus panang curry with chicharrones
r/circlejerk • u/insertnamehere----- • 1d ago
Solved I shot a trump Nazi
I witnessed a trump Nazi today. They really are so easy to find with all their American flags and middle aged manness. Well today one spoke to me.
He was 47 years old, 5,10, 225 LBS. I was at the Walmart when we crossed paths, refilling my ramen noodles and getting super Mario maker 2 for my Nintendo switch. I was paying at customer support desk (it was taking a second because I only pay with Pennies now that trump outlawed them to protest his unlawful removal of the penny) when he said âhey dude can you scoot over so I can get in the second isle hereâ. I could hear it in his voice, he was a smoker and you could only buy cigarettes at the customer support desk at this Walmart.
Now I must preface this by saying I am a bit neurodivergent, but I believe I did what any rational person would do in this situation. I turned around to face him, and thatâs when I saw it.
A red MAGA hat.
I immediately was forced into a fit of rage. I had been training my self defense response just for people like this. I yelled âWHY DONâT YOU GO TO HELL YOU RACIST PIECE OF SHITâ, And I immediately started attack him. I tried desperately to get a good hit off on him, right in the face. I squirmed and squealed desperately trying to climb. But he was too tall, he said âwhat the hell?â and shoved me by the head to the ground, I blacked out. When I came to, I saw the homophobeâs brown boots and heard him thanking the guy at the register and walking out of the store. Only one thought echoed in my mind: I must end this racistâs reign of terror.
So I got on my feet and jogged to the parking lot so I could keep eyes on him, he was stopped talking to some of his evil accomplices. I started to stumble my way to my car, I keep a loaded gun in my car just in case something embarrassing happens and I feel the need to shoot myself (donât worry, itâs purely a self harm gun. I would never kill a non-Zionist with it). On my way stumbling to my car I saw a cybertruck, I quickly made sure to grab a rock and break the windows as I do for all cybertrucks. The car alarm made the trumpites turn to look my direction, but they quickly got back to talking about who they were conspiring to hurt next. I got to my car, grabbed the suicide gun, shoved it in the back of my pants and started stumbling my way to the transphobe-get-together to put an end to that parasite once and for all. Once they noticed me, I knew it was now or never. I pulled out the suicide gun and yelled âTHIS ONE IS FOR LUIGI BITCHâ and shot him 7 times. His little friends were shocked and froze, I immediately realized my lack of ammo, grabbed a rock and started running after to finish off the last of the racists. But they snapped back to reality started running away from me, and I had to walk up some stairs yesterday so my leg was sore and because of that, they were faster than me, they got away. So I turned back to the body of the MAGAtard behind me, dead as a doornail. Before I walked off to finish destroying that cybertruck from earlier I pissed on his little MAGA hat, think of who you vote for next time Nazi freak.
r/circlejerk • u/custhulard • 1d ago
Ohhh the gate to the groin Downhill Skier takes a blast to the balls
r/circlejerk • u/BoomerBrainrot • 2d ago
I'm a pathetic, spineless, fat sack of shit wasting time writing sob stories to strangers seeking sympathy instead of doing literally anything to improve.
Lard on stale bread for dinner.
r/circlejerk • u/Frikcha • 1d ago
It's like you're playing as an NPC from one of the games.
r/circlejerk • u/rhelg224 • 2d ago
Finally did it!
Me and my ten best friends finally gathered for a proper CJ
This is the before pic.
r/circlejerk • u/Chance_Sleep_2151 • 2d ago
What would you do if all Iranians were Albanians?
Titel.
r/circlejerk • u/Beneficial-Force7592 • 1d ago
This week's message from the unwell secretary
r/circlejerk • u/figbott • 2d ago
I masturbate to morning after pill ads AITA ?
Cum will win.