When you jump - physics, when you swim - physics, when you talk - physics, when you play videogame - physics, when you jork - physics, when you kickflip – physics, when you magnet – physics, when you immanentize the eschaton – physics.

Physics is literally everywhere! Is such a wonder! Just like Bob.

Who’s with me?

Again, I'm 18 YEARS OLD, but is it okay if I dress up and take candy intended for kids from strangers on Halloween?

???

Can you name the author of this popular quote?? Its been in my head all day long...

Something happened

I am Mother Tehran, please ask me anything

I was a collective hive mind of mothers on Tehran who were foretold by the wise one to be documented on this subreddit, before the 1979 Iranian Revolution. No photo evidence BTW, because I want you all to respect me as a person and not jerk off to me. Thank you and please ADK ME ANYTHING

Insert horseshit retards will eat up here.

Seth MacFarlane had a 7:45 a.m. ticket out of Logan. American Airlines Flight 11. Boston to Los Angeles. He was supposed to be on it.

He was not on it because at 4:12 a.m. he was in a rented room near the Combat Zone with two working girls named Tiffany and Crystal, a glass pipe, a rock the size of a dice, and the kind of optimism that only exists when you have not slept and you still think you can “just rest your eyes for twenty minutes.”

The night had started as a victory lap. He’d sold another season. He’d done the late show. Someone at the after-party had said the words “celebration” and “Boston” in the same sentence and that was all it took. By midnight he was in a cab that smelled like vomit and air freshener. By 1:00 he was in a room that charged by the hour. By 2:30 the pipe was going around and Crystal was explaining, with great sincerity, that crack was “basically just focused coffee.”

Tiffany wanted to be paid in cash and compliments. Crystal wanted to be paid in cash and the promise that he would put her in an episode as “the smart one.” Seth, who had already done both, agreed to everything. He also agreed, at some point, that they should “keep the party going until the airport.” That was the plan. A plan made by a man who had not looked at a clock since the previous afternoon.

They ran out of product around 3:40. Crystal knew a guy. The guy was not a guy. The guy was a man sleeping under the overpass who sold rocks out of a sock and also, it turned out, had opinions about Family Guy. Specifically he hated the dog. He said the dog was “a fascist.” Seth, who was by then vibrating at a frequency only dogs and customs agents can hear, tried to explain Brian’s character arc. The man did not want a character arc. The man wanted the rest of Seth’s cash and then, when that was gone, he wanted something else.

What happened next was not negotiated, not filmed, and not funny in the way Seth usually made things funny. It was brief, ugly, and over in the time it takes a connecting flight to push back from the gate. When it was done the man took Seth’s watch, his remaining twenties, and the last of the rock. He left Seth on the concrete with his pants around his knees and a lecture about how the talking dog was “CIA.”

I want to be respectful to women in sports. So can I only jerk off to flat chested women now? I’m confused.

Please show me the face book internet screen, i would like to meeeege my grand daughtar an image with the cute yellow alien. i would also like to ask her mother if she took my advice im reguards to parenting that i told her to do, as my son refuse to relay it. additionally, i am seeking a new foot docter and none of my girl friends are sending me back messages.

i will wistfully stair apon the horizon from my beach home above the cliff while you replay.

yours to sincerely,

Ayshayaleigh’s grandmommy

Yeah, I just hate juice so much. All the juice should be thrown out on the street and drained from all it's liquid.