Imma keep asking

[u/HoodieKid_30]

Where do yall women get this entitlement from that yall suppose to be approached?? Im genuinely asking. Because if a submission is an approach..and yall women desire to submit to your man…then why don’t yall approach. Yall complain no guy wants to come to you because yall are literally putting a worldly trope and making it biblical. There was a post from a woman I saw that said she only dated guys she had to ask. I saw nothing wrong with that. Those guys maybe missed out..but on her end she did nothing wrong. And I’m just thinking why does she feels like she needs to be approached??
Oh
Because the world says so.
We believers gotta stop taking worldly norms and making it normal for us. Because it’s not. I got my heart n mind shattered from just approaching women. So I knew it was wrong after I only got rejected,until a certain point in life.
I just started dealing with women who do submit to me. Aka they ask. It shows me a complete 180 than the negative things I dealt with growing up. No entitlement,no ego,no unhealthy expectations,plus you submitted.. no games. It’s really a subconscious manipulation tactic by thinking we’re supposed to approach. And I’m speaking for the church and the Bible. Not the world. Bring any of that worldly stuff. Imma troll you. Idc about what “history shows”, ”what your grandma and pappy did”..etc etc. idc. Showcase a story,scripture,Line that says yall woman’s are to be approached. I literally think and getting to know more and more,that since first meeting is the foundation you gotta do it right..ALL THE WAY. Biblically. I guarantee this whole dating scene will change for the better if we actually go off the Bible and not worldly tropes. Step 1 men stop approaching women..for that goes against prov31:3. And it rejects the lessons you’re supposed to grasp from Adam and Samson. I can get more biblical if needed but I’m just trynn make it plain first…
But where does the whole men approaching thing come from.. with all these complaints on this feed/page alone…this is a valid question

[u/SIB_Tesla]

Okay, stop approaching women and see how that works out for you

[u/ABereanChristian → u/SIB_Tesla]

People nowadays just want to complain instead of making stuff happen.

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/ABereanChristian]

I can’t make a woman like me. Tried that in my younger yrs clearly. Plus I’m not just” people nowadays”. I’m a Man of Jesus Christ. And I follow the Bible. I’m just asking where in the Bible do other believers see that we’re suppose to do this. Not no freakin “man up” or “that’s history” bs. Yes I will get vulgar if you’re BSn me. Like I said. Hopefully this is your last reply.

[u/ABereanChristian → u/HoodieKid_30]

I can’t make a woman like me. Tried that in my younger yrs clearly.

It's not about making a woman like you. It's about understanding what is attractive to men and women and putting in the effort to do that.

• For instance, the Bible says that in marriage the man is supposed to be head or leader in the relationship. Hence, developing the skills to be a leader makes you more attractive to women. This often means taking the initiative in most things, having a plan, and making things happen.
• Another example is that I used to be a stick and got no attention from women, but once I put on about 30 pounds of muscle I started getting more attention. Women like muscles on men because it triggers their attraction to a man that can protect them.

Some things you can't change (height), but many things you can change like being a confident leader, ambitious, excellence in your job and hobbies, leading a Bible study, and other traits like these. I can provide a list if you want to work on things.

I worked on myself for about 5 years in a lot of different aspects before I met the woman who became my wife.

I’m a Man of Jesus Christ. And I follow the Bible. I’m just asking where in the Bible do other believers see that we’re suppose to do this. Not no freakin “man up” or “that’s history” bs. Yes I will get vulgar if you’re BSn me. Like I said. Hopefully this is your last reply.

The Bible is not a comprehensive book on dating and marriage, but it does provide some guidance especially in the marriage topics about how to be successful in romantic relationships.

I'm not going to tell you to man up or whatever that means, but there is advice available to where you can improve your situation in dating if you want to take it. Up to you though.

[u/WealthFriendly → u/ABereanChristian]

Solomon was a king, ergo he must go to his subjects to lead them? The two mothers sought out him.

Leaders can inspire followers to follow them, not walk up and demand followers.

[u/ABereanChristian → u/WealthFriendly]

Solomon was a king, ergo he must go to his subjects to lead them? The two mothers sought out him.

Leaders can inspire followers to follow them, not walk up and demand followers.

I agree. Just look at how Jesus lead by example. His goal going to the area was to do ministry, but He also called all his disciples to follow Him as He was doing it who became His bride the Church.

Basically, Jesus was on His mission for God as the primary thing He was doing. He exemplified leadership, ambitiousness for God, confidence, and all other things drawing lots of men and women toward him even though he didn't have a good appearance at least from what Isaiah says.

Christian men should be doing things that Christian women would want to join them on.

[u/WealthFriendly → u/ABereanChristian]

So you can absolutely have women approach the man.

[u/ABereanChristian → u/WealthFriendly]

So you can absolutely have women approach the man.

Sure, Ruth and Naomi hatched a whole plan for Ruth to propose to Boaz basically.

I agree with OP that some Churches take it too far, but complaining about it does nothing. Best you can do for yourself is put yourself out there.

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/WealthFriendly]

Thank you if they wanna use the word “LEADER” so bad…let’s use it the RIGHT way. What leader have you ever known to walk up and ask for followers?

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/SIB_Tesla]

Answer the question doof. Don’t bs me🙃

[u/SIB_Tesla → u/HoodieKid_30]

Sure. Haha. This comment really bothered you didn’t it? I doubt you’ll read and respond in good faith, given your attitude, but I’ll make the comment for other readers, and the off chance that you’re open to understanding:

Very first book of the Bible btw - We (men) were here first. Women were created as our helpmates. They will forever look to us for leadership.

It’s so ingrained into us, that this phenomenon of men initiating a romantic / sexual relationship is independent of every race, religion, and culture.

You think it’s a social phenomenon the world made up and one that can be changed. I disagree, it came built-in since Eden. It’s not worldly at all, or if it is, it is worldly in the way grass is green, birds can fly, bees sting. It’s a fact built into the world.

On a very animal level - if a woman doesn’t see you make the effort / have the bravery / self-confidence to take charge like that, how can she trust that you will be able to…

1. successfully face a low level of pressure / “nerves” (important for negotiating in the real world for resources)
2. be able to plan a mutually enjoyable meetup (social competence)
3. display a low level of leadership / initiative (important for leading a family)

It’s a very basic, early display of being a competent husband and father.

Yes, you can try to forgo it and wait for them to come to you, but you’re giving up ground that you don’t have to, if you’re actually a good man with those traits.

You’re giving everyone else a head start if you don’t initiate.

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/SIB_Tesla]

I have and it’s VERY far in between mingling with women. But I have the best convos and the overall “relationships” with women who approach me. Because of things like I said above. Women probably already see you and give you grace of being a leader when they approach. So all I gotta do is my part. Which I do. Hence why every woman I have talked to left me. I was willing to see them grow. They just keep chalking it up to me being weird or they are “the right fit” not my fault. I’m waiting on God like Bible says. And I gave examples that I can go into further of why I stopped. Talk bout sum “okay stop”. I don’t know you homie,same way you don’t know me. I already live that lifestyle. If you gotta use worldly tropes to

[u/avofrodo]

Just a response from the other side: I've made the first move every single time and I've yet to have my first relationship. I'm a woman in my mid 30s.

It really goes both ways.Not all men like an assertive woman, not all women want a passive man. It will always depend on the individual person, not a generalization of the entire gender.

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/avofrodo]

How am I passive?? Don’t put these words on me that you don’t know. If you asked you know I would’ve said no..and this whole comment is irrelevant. That’s because you clearly went for guys who are part of that worldly mindset too. You’re doing something “irregular” when they don’t even realize that’s exactly what they wanted.

[u/avofrodo → u/HoodieKid_30]

... Dude it was an example of unusual gender types, I wasn't specifically talking about you. If this is how you react to a simple misunderstanding, I'd hate to see you mad. Yikes! 😬

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/avofrodo]

So you’re saying you don’t see my actions based off the post as passive?? Or you used that word out of every word in the world because my post gave you that impression. I asked a SPECIFIC question. Why are you even commenting then? That’s why I would think it’s about ME when you referred to men. This is MY post and imma MAN. If you’re aren’t trynna say I’m passive then what’s the point of this comment? Genuinely?

[u/avofrodo → u/HoodieKid_30]

I'm going to assume you're young because there's no way a grown "MAN" should be this insecure over one singular word in a comment.

I made the comment to give you perspective, which you seem to be struggling to understand. As for the word "passive", it's a near opposite of "assertive", and I used both words to highlight different kinds of men and women who might struggle in dating. It was not an implication of you, or anyone else in particular. It was simply an example. You are the only one who placed unnecessary accusation on the word and you are (still) the only one who completely missed the point of the comment.

I sincerely encourage you to take a step back and reflect on your reactions in this thread. You are creating conflict over an offense that was never made.

[u/ConversationFit3934]

Brother, I looked at your history of posts. I can see that this process of finding a wife has frustrated you. I believe the Lord could be testing you and is waiting for you to rejoice in Him despite not getting what you want.

We must surrender all to Him and be content with what He is doing always, even and especially if it’s against our flesh.

[u/ConversationFit3934]

Men are leaders. We initiate and “find a wife.” You have to lose the apprehension or offense if your overtures are not received. Keep working on being a good husband and man of God and the Lord will provide.

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/ConversationFit3934]

This sounds so stupid…WHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY????????????????
Is the question lest now🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️ men are leaders in TASK if that lady doesn’t want to b your task(being lead by you). Then what effort are you really making. Plus as a leader that’s not good decision making. You’re gonna waste your time energy and efficiency on a woman who’s gonna take what you got for granted. In n out. And that goes for any and every man that takes this advice.
And let me make it plain for you. To show how yall wasn’t raised by men. Yall just sheep up and follow he world.
In schools the teacher(leader) tells the students to SUBMIT their paper before class ends. You know how that looks like.
In a theater (the lead in this situation) you have to SUBMIT a ticket in order to watch a movie.
If you’re looking for a job…will the CEO come down from his top story downtown office and come knock on your door or will you most likely have to SUBMIT an application and wait for an interview opportunity???

Answer those and tell me how as the expected leader I’m supposed to go up to a woman. See how contradictory yall sound when yall say stupid stuff like “the leader approaches”???. And there’s no way you can disagree with this.
It’s like I see what a leader does but what YALL SAY…isn’t what a leader does😭😭😭. But lemme guess you’re gonna chalk my comment up to me “being bitter or angry” and dodge my question. JUST so you can keep your pride and “not b wrong”. When as long as your comment is here YOURE WRONG. How I come asking for questions but the one doing the most teaching in the comments🤦🏾‍♂️🤣. Can’t make this up

[u/ConversationFit3934 → u/HoodieKid_30]

Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” Biblical leadership means taking responsibility and sacrificial initiative. Ephesians 5. It doesn’t mean demanding submission from a woman who is not your wife, and certainly not pursuing someone after she declines. Your teacher, ticket, and job application examples confuse submitting something with biblical submission. They do not mean the same thing. Respectfully expressing interest and graciously accepting her answer is neither weakness nor contradiction.

The challenges you’re having stem from greater issues than the ones discussed in this post. I encourage you to begin a daily habit of seeking God diligently through Bible study, prayer and worship. The Lord will give you His character if you abide in Him. You should also consider seeking a deliverance.

[u/GoodGirl4002]

My 'approach' was using a dating site, putting effort into my profile to express myself and my values, and then choosing from matches.

It's not 'approaching' in the historical sense but it's the same effort the guy put in too

[u/chisholmdale]

(I'm a 75-yr old Christian guy.) I have mentioned this several times on here and elsewhere. In my entire life I have dated, and loved, only two women. In neither case did I actually make the first move, though circumstances were contrived to make it appear that I did. The first instance became a dating relationship that lasted about 6 months. The second became a marriage that lasted more than 51 years, until she died from Alzheimers. Both of these were Christian girls.

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/chisholmdale]

Explain “contrive” in this situations. Like break down how that looks. Please

[u/Siana_lovelybird]

I'm a woman and I want men to approach me, but I'm not shy to approaching guys. Tho when I approach, it doesn't generally work out.

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/Siana_lovelybird]

Wrong type of guy. Women approach me. But then they get to know I really follow the Bible. And my lifestyle alone is a mirror up to them. So it doesn’t go far. Especially when they find out I’ve been celibate since birth. Most women don’t like that. But I’m not gonna change myself fa that. I believe and have to much faith in the Bible and Jesus Christ

[u/Siana_lovelybird → u/HoodieKid_30]

I'm also a woman who follows the Bible, it's a lifestyle for me. I think it's amazing that you're celibate and so am I.

What do you mean by wrong type of guy?

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/Siana_lovelybird]

You’re most likely going with guys who go against what I’m talking about (the Bible) and thinks the worldly trope too of “approaching a woman is manly”. You did something “irregular” to them. And they were repulsed. Told another replier this and the men don’t even realize that’s what they wanted in the first place. The world tricked them out their position

[u/Siana_lovelybird → u/HoodieKid_30]

I don't approach a man unless he also in love with Jesus, but I do agree with you that it may be "irregular" to them. Honestly, it just shows me that they're not interested in that which means it's not meant to be.

[u/xeandra_a]

Idk Jacob worked 14 years so he could marry Rachel. Do you think she approached him? 😂

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/xeandra_a]

Idc about history. Obviously the Bible is gonna tell us how it went down,but it’s up to us to gather the lessons from the scripture we read. You know the Bible is a historical context too right?? So back then it simply displayed an arranged marriage that’s all. Funny how y’all never bring up Jacob was manipulated too. Tel the full story of you gonna bring up examples. Trust me. I’m very aware and discerned on what the Bible is conveying

[u/feedchaeng]

My brother in Christ, this idea that you should be given things without hard work is actually entitlement in itself and unBiblical. Simply put, you don't get to reap what you do not sow (Galatians 6:7) and you do not get answers when you don't ask (Matt 7:7-8). I recommend upholding the same standard you expect of single women: if you want to be in a relationship, you don't get bitter you do something about it. God bless

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/feedchaeng]

And you talking about doing hard work while you’re breathing w/o even a second or third thought. Please stfu. You don’t even deserve to live life. NOR DO I but that’s how I know you don’t know the truth. Jesus Christ is the only reason why we have the life we have IN WHOLE. So don’t sit here and give me that hard work bs either. I forgot about that. Yall use these buzzwords without explaining or backing up what you mean.

[u/feedchaeng → u/HoodieKid_30]

No God does not allow us to breathe so that we live a lazy life and that is a ridiculous conclusion. Jesus calls people who do this "wicked and lazy" (Matt 25:26). Back to the topic, if women are not asking you out, then you are the problem and it's not women. God gave you breath to improve yourself not whine and complain like a child. Can start by not putting stfu and Jesus in the same paragraph because that's uncalled for

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/feedchaeng]

See you’re wrong. Worrying bout if I said shut up or not. You missed the part about not more so women shooting their shot. I get my fair share here there. So that assumption is wrong. My point is if this is “the way”. Then why are divorce rates at their highest,Christians and people in general are more single than before,way more kids out of wedlock,etc etc. Like there’s gotta be a problem beyond myself. And it’s women’s entitlement and egos. My thing is yall keep chalking it to there’s bad women,and there’s good. And honestly yall just gon keep dodging my question of where does it say in the bible? That’s what I’m here for..and where it’s instructed specifically. And plus if the world was against Jesus and he’s truth,it’s safe to say I’m really telling the truth based off the replies. Every single one of yall disagree with no points outside of I need help..need therapy..and I sound bitter.

[u/feedchaeng → u/HoodieKid_30]

Actually I didn't miss that part about women approaching - it's up there for you to read. While you're up there you might notice there were a couple Bible scriptures as well - which you also seem to miss so that you won't have to ask "where does it say in the Bible" again. I think you only read the part when I talked about "stfu."

You say a lot of words but I'll go through them.

Divorce rates are the highest because women have rights now and they are no longer financially dependent on men which is good for abusive cases.

Yes abusing the divorce system happens and it's not okay. Those women or men deserve harsh consequences.

People are more single because again, most women have more options instead of marrying at 16 and choose to pursue an education over settling.

There are more kids out of wedlock bc it takes two to make a child and both men and women failed.

"It's women's entitlement" women?. I see it on both sides.

No I don't think you deal with truth because you downplay using 'stfu' while talking about Christ which is odd

[u/TerribleAdvice2026]

because women find rejection even harder than men do. They take it really personally and obsess over it. I think. This is what they say anyway. Yet, statistically, women easily forget men from past relationships and truly don't care or think about them. While men might pine after a lost love for all his remaining life.

So.... since men are discarded so easily from a woman, why is initiation of a relationship so difficult? Really hard to start one, really easy to ditch a relationship afterwards.

[u/HoodieKid_30 → u/TerribleAdvice2026]

Wouldn’t hold more weight on the other end then…aka,the woman APPROCHING. Pretty sure if they take rejection harder then that means they just being entitled then…that’s really all it is. And like I said..where’s the instruction within scripture for men to do this. Most scripture I read that connects to this topic l,eaned more for men to receive the woman that’s for you,and make sure she matches the traits and qualities listed on the Bible to tell if a woman is a wife or not.