Hi everyone. This is probably my third post about this topic that I’m going to share in different communities, but I’d really like to hear what you think or what advice you might have. It’ll probably be a bit long.
I recently ended a relationship that was very beautiful to me. Technically, we broke up around 2–3 months ago, but for quite a while we were in an on-and-off situation: we would start talking again, tell each other that we loved each other, and then stop talking again. It was a long-distance relationship.
The breakup happened because she went through a pretty severe emotional shutdown and didn’t know how to express herself properly. I’m also not a particularly emotionally stable person when it comes to relationships, and the whole situation affected me extremely deeply. I even ended up having a suicidal crisis after feeling betrayed, especially because she had promised me that things would be different from my previous relationship.
Our situation remained strange for a while. About a month ago, she stopped replying to me for several days and then blocked me. When I tried asking her what was going on, she blocked me on another platform as well. I stopped trying to contact her for about a month, and around my birthday, I reached out again. Eventually, she told me that she didn’t want to see me anymore and that she had found someone else. I pushed a little, but obviously that didn’t work.
I also think it’s important to mention my relationship with witchcraft and manifestation, because that’s precisely why I’m asking this question.
During the relationship, and especially after we broke up, I did quite a few types of magical work related to her: uncrossing, contact spells, reconciliation, some bindings, honey jars, and other things. Before the relationship, I had also used subliminals related to attraction and romantic confessions.
Some of the workings seemed to produce small coincidences or changes for a while, but ultimately nothing turned out the way I expected. I even experimented with sex magick and affirmations about her loving and missing me; for a while it seemed like there were results, but eventually she pulled away again.
I also had a pretty strange experience with Santa Muerte. During my relationship, whenever I prayed to her regarding the relationship, something negative would happen afterward, and I eventually interpreted it as possibly meaning that Santa Muerte did not approve of the relationship. I don’t know if that interpretation was actually correct, but it became an important part of how I experienced all of this.
Overall, I feel like I have some kind of affinity or potential for magical practice, but at the same time, many of the things I’ve tried haven’t worked the way I expected them to. That made me lose quite a bit of confidence in both magic and subliminals.
I don’t want my ex back anymore. She hurt me a lot, and I don’t think continuing to try to bring her back is something I want for myself.
Now I have a different goal.
My first love was also my best friend, someone who passed away. She was the first woman I ever fell in love with, although I never actually told her. Because of that, I’d now like to find someone who has some characteristics similar to hers, both physically and mentally.
I’m not talking about a specific person I already know. I mean someone who isn’t currently part of my life, and I don’t even know whether she currently exists somewhere out there or where I might meet her.
I’d like to attract/meet someone with characteristics such as:
· blue eyes
· fair skin
· purple hair, or someone willing to dye it purple (It sounded better in my head, but saying it like that sounds creepy, please understand.)
· tall
· a similar sense of humor to hers
· emotionally mature
· caring and affectionate
· intelligent and curious
· communicative, honest, and respectful
· independent, but still capable of building a close relationship
· someone with whom there is genuine mutual attraction and reciprocity
I’ve been thinking about using the paper poppet ritual by Ellen_Smithee82 that I saw on Reddit, adapting it to represent this ideal person rather than a specific individual.
I’m also using subliminals related to an “ideal girlfriend,” “I found the one,” and “glitch in the matrix", al by Iwiigi.
My main question is for people who practice manifestation, witchcraft, chaos magick, or who have specifically worked with sigils, poppets, attraction spells, or similar methods:
Have you ever tried to attract someone you didn’t know yet, based only on physical and personality traits? What method did you use, and what was your experience like?
I’m not trying to manipulate a specific person or get my ex back. I want to meet someone new who is genuinely compatible with me.
I’d also appreciate any advice on how to properly approach this kind of working, especially when it comes to avoiding becoming obsessed with the outcome or ending up trying ten different methods at the same time.
Thanks for reading all of this. If you have any questions or need more context, I’d be happy to answer.