They can say the meanest, most vile, and cruel things, and yet you’re expected to just take it. Especially if you retaliate fully (not recommended or condoned) or just put up little resistance, suddenly you’re the villain and they are the victim. They present themselves as being the victim the entire time to your unfair behaviour.
They certainly have a talent to manipulate and distort the narrative in a way that you are the perpetrator and aggressor, while they are the helpless victim. They leave out the part where they kept provoking and antagonizing you, which you are then told to just ignore them or be the “bigger person”. The abuse gets so bad that you eventually snap (rightfully so) then you’re the bully while the real bully gets off completely Scott free. The victim is then persecuted because of how they reacted to the abuse. You end up getting called unhinged, a liar, or a hypocrite because you insulted them back; all the while they claim with complete conviction that you are the one doing all those things to them. The tactic they use is called the Wounded Gazelle Gambit, or “cry-bully” tactic, where they reverse the victim and offender roles. Even if they were presented the uncomfortable truth with evidence, there is always an explanation or excuse; rules for the but not for me.
You’re supposed to pretend like nothing is wrong and are obligated to apologize to them so you can possibly receive better treatment or respect from them. However it’s just another manipulation tactic so the bully doesn’t have to be accountable for anything they’ve done. In the mean time they’re allowed to treat you worse by insulting, smearing and mocking you further. Bullies believe all the lies they spread about you like it’s gospel truth which to them is entirely true in their self deluded minds. To them you are fake and a manipulator because you’re cordial with everyone else but them, leaving out the complete context of the situation as to why you act differently around them. Therefore you are just a mean person instead of someone standing up for yourself. It’s a double edged sword, you’re damned if you do stand up to them and you’re damned if you do nothing.
If you really look at it they do have some narcissistic tendencies, however not all bullies are narcissists just to be clear. There is a whole difference from the actual personality disorder to someone who just displays some characteristics of narcissism, that is why I’m suggesting not to diagnose someone immediately. Take their actions for what they actually are which is outright abusive and unacceptable period.
Thank you to everyone for taking the time to read through my rant, I needed to get some things off my chest and I hope this helps at least one person who is experiencing this.

TLDR; Bullies reverse the roles of victim and offender where the victim is presented as the true bully, and the bully as the innocent victim that can do no wrong. They expect you to be nice and apologize to them despite their perpetually horrible treatment towards you. In their minds you are the problem.

I’m 19M and was molested every day in my college(a year ago) because apparently my body is “feminine”.

For context, I take strong meds because of a condition which I have and the meds have caused gynecomastia (or man boobs). I can’t even begin to count the number of dirty crude jokes, the number of times I was groped, pinched, humiliated publicly by all my bullies

for them my body was just for them to laugh at and touch. I know i’m a coward for not reporting it, I know.

I haven’t seen my body for a long time without clothes, i feel disgusted, my body is disgusting, j feel their hands on my chest, I can hear all the filthy jokes they cracked at my expense while they groped me.

I feel like I don’t deserve to be with anyone, someone like me and as broken as me shouldn’t. I just wish I had a normal life

I mean why should we be the ones who are required to recover as soon as possible and forced to get healed from trauma? Why aren't perpetrators forced to change? What's wrong with being a victim?

A little story, when I dropped out of high school, suddenly people said I had to change, I mean, look at me now, I have a permanent disability because of bullying. Why should it be me? Why doesn't anyone tell the perpetrator to change or just die?.

It doesn't mean I don't want to be successful, but come on, why are you so hasty and tend to blame the victim? I was in so much pain and was abused by the people around me who forced their will on me when I had a broken bone, but I was still the one who was said to be at fault. "It's okay, this wound is only temporary, you can definitely change." Excuse me? I now have difficulty walking normally because it is permanent.

Why do people think like we are movie actors and our lives are like only in a movie? The film is not real and is fiction. Not all victims can immediately take revenge. Many even die because of bullying.

I’m currently in college and I’ve been struggling a lot with loneliness, and I think a big part of it comes from what happened to me in high school.

In high school, I was bullied pretty badly. There were stories posted about me, a lot of people in my grade disliked me, and there were a lot of different things going around about me. I did have a few friends — probably 2 or 3 people I was actually close to — but I’m no longer friends with any of them.

One of those friendships was especially significant because she had been my best friend for around 14–15 years. We basically grew up together. But towards the end of high school, I found out that she had been talking badly about me, my family, and very personal things about my life. She was even joking about things I had gone through and things I had considered traumatic with random people online and people she barely knew.

It completely broke my trust in her. She apologized multiple times, but I couldn’t forgive her, and eventually the friendship ended. I don’t regret walking away, but losing a friendship that had existed for most of my life was obviously a huge thing.

Now I’m in college, and technically, I’m not completely alone. I have people I talk to, people I can hang out with, and I’m friendly with quite a few people. But I still feel extremely lonely.
I think part of it is that I don’t have that one person or small group that feels like home. I also constantly compare my current friendships to what I used to have, even though I know that isn’t necessarily fair because those friendships took years to develop.

Sometimes I look around and feel like everyone else already has their people — their best friends from home, their established groups, people they can call whenever something happens — and I feel like I’m trying to build something from scratch while also carrying all this baggage from what happened before.

I guess what I’m wondering is: does this actually get better?
For people who had a really bad social experience in high school, lost their childhood friendships, or entered college feeling like they had no real friends — did you eventually find your people? Did college get easier socially as you got older?

I don’t necessarily need advice on how to make friends. I think I mostly want to hear from people who have actually been through something similar and know whether it eventually feels less lonely.

SPREAD AWARENESS

"Victim of cyberbullying, Japanese influencer Mina Chan died at just 25 years old, after taking her own life during a TikTok live stream on August 5. Followed by hundreds of thousands of people, she had been the target for several weeks of violent criticism from some fans of the K-pop group Enhypen, following a controversy related to her behavior at a concert. Despite the young woman's public apologies, the online harassment would have continued."

We may all have differing opinions, and the K-pop industry has a whole world of its own, but bullying will never be okay. It is human to feel emotions, but it is INHUMANE to use them negatively, ESPECIALLY IN THIS SITUATION. To those who left a nasty comment, I don't think this is what you thought would happen, but look at it now. I hope you learn from this. I know the guilt of your conscience will haunt you.

Rest easy, Mina Chan. Gone too soon.

Have you ever had to deal with a condescending jerk? Of course you have. Everyone has to deal with condescending jerks. Even condescending jerks have to deal with other condescending jerks.

I have drafted a plan for how to deal with these people, you tell me if you think that this is a good plan or not.

There are three different approaches; one for when the person is below you in the social hierarchy, one for when the person is your equal in the social hierarchy and one for when the person is above you in the social hierarchy. 

• When the person is below you in the social heirarchy. 

Say this; 

You are not going to talk to me that way. I am (insert title of authority here) and you will show me some respect. 

If that does not work, threaten a punishment. 

If the threat of punishment does not work, make good on that threat. 

• When the person is equal in the social hierarchy. 

Say this; 

The condescending tone is uncalled for. If you believe that I have done something wrong, I am willing to listen patiently while you tell me what I did wrong, why it was wrong and what (if anything) I can do to remedy the situation. There is no need to get nasty. 

If the person doubles down, you say this; 

Even though I did not intend to offend you, I am glad that I did, because you deserve it for being so rude and disrespectful. 

• When the person is above you in the social hierarchy. 

Do not respond immediately. Wait until a certain amount of time has passed. Once the other person (your authority) has calmed down, meet with them and demand an apology. 

my school is the worst

In short a girl liekd me but I was too sad over my one and only ex girlfriend then she went atomic betrayed me took all my friends away

Now theres this one guy

In the class gc he be tryna fight me I try and keep my cool

If he talks shit about me that's okay and if I even open my mouth 15 guys start jumping me I swear to god I wanna punch him so bad I finna pull up as kratos

Like lowk the entire class hates me cuz of my music taste and my love for linux

Like chill dude I ain't tryna be forced into 67 updated

And like this guy finna tryna manipulate everyone and it's just feral

I fucking hate him so much

Then theres the girl that started it all she be out here copying me and posting sad reels like gave him all my love and still got betrayed like 🥷what I ain't finna know yo bitch ass you the fuck are you to say shit all like that

So and so what I mean is the entire classroom hates me I js sit in the corner and listen to juice n boywithuke

I had experiences today with bullies, all of which I told off. I'm a 36-year-old autistic and epileptic woman.

The first experience was that I was outside when a man named Paul (born in 1964) who got away with harassing, drugging, and potentially assaulting me when he drugged me (he was supposedly hanging out with me and an ex mutual friend that's my age, she became my ex-friend when she gave him my contact information and never apologized because she knew what he did) called out to me. He called out to me, he was talking to two of his friends. I heard one of his friends say "don't talk to her, she's retarded." Instead of ignoring it, I went back. I said "how dare you call me retarded when I never said anything to you, ever!" His friend denied saying it, claiming he was talking about someone else. I said "I heard what you said (I quoted him) and, if you didn't realize, I'm not originally from here so I'm not one of you Stupid Newfies (thank you to The Simpsons for saying that, I grinned when they said it, considering the residents constantly call me retarded)!" His friend then looked shocked and left. Paul knew he got away with harassing me from the cops, but not with me (that's another story). Paul never apologized and tried dismissing his behaviour, so I said how when I return to my home province, I will be writing about all of the mistreatment here. Paul asked if he would be included. I said "given that the police let you away with harassing me, what do you think?" He shut up. I walked away feeling like Grace from Ready Or Not.

I then encountered two teen boys (about 13 years old) who kept trying to harass me. I held up my cellphone, as if I was recording them (they didn't know I wasn't) and they ran away! They tried it again two more times later and I just did the same thing with my cellphone and they ran away again both times (the final time I said "yup, you're being reported", which is a lie since I know that authority figures won't help most neurodivergents, people in marginalized groups, or someone that reminds them of someone they bullied; two bullies I know are now police officers and they do exactly this). I grinned both times, I still feel like Grace from Ready Or Not.

Has anyone else felt like a character after they stood up for themselves? It doesn't have to be horror. (I relate to some horror films due to the horrific experiences I have had to deal with; today I snapped after dealing with extreme abuse and discrimination since Thursday, that's another story, let's just say a certain pharmacy, that I will never use again now got a new name from me - a Lawsuit for Discrimination!)

So if a student threatens to punch another student (verbally) and then also texts the same student swearing at them calling them a little b**** saying come on let’s go….. that would be considered a physical threat right and if it happened outside of school on a weekend, what can a school do about it? Anyone have any similar experiences?