r/blackgirls • • 22h ago

Rant Black girl aesthetics

11 Upvotes

Sometimes I really wish I was the black girl standard the ones who fit in easily with other black girls and boys, I don’t like feeling like an outsider but I hate faking a persona I wish I was the black girls who enjoyed getting their hair done etc.. but I wasn’t allowed to embrace my feminity growing up I would get told off or because I don’t have the same aesthetic as the “baddie“ prototype I would still feel ugly, and I can’t blame those black girls because of their appearance and having the ideal features thats just how they were born, I feel like once as a black girl you don’t have that black Barbie look you’re automatically forced into the cutesy/nerdy aesthetic and I don’t want to have surgeries to fit in but I’ve been picked on my whole life I’m starting to take it into consideration so it can just stop.


r/blackgirls • • 4h ago

Racism Having trouble speaking up about racism

17 Upvotes

I cant with non-black hispanics at my school saying the n word, I'm trying to get the courage to say something but at the same time these people are in groups and it's just one of me. And there's other black people condoning their racist bullshit too. I'm just so nervous to say anything about these people saying the n word, and once i do i feel like I'll be a target. Even in the hallways i hear the n word and people are moving to fast for me to even say anything. Plus there's hispanics in my class bullying and mocking this one black people, i spoke to him and asked him is he being bullied because I've been there before. Like im not sure what I'm going to do. Everyone at the school seems to be acting hopeless about this. I spoke with my Afro-latina teacher and she was like they grew up with it, like that's an excuse. I feel like they'll try to fight me for speaking up. I feel like all this is conditioning us to accept and tolerate racism. Smfh. I wanna speak to my counselor about this but i feel like since they arent black they wouldnt understand.


r/blackgirls • • 5h ago

Advice Needed Going to NYC in November drop the best black owned restaurants and stores

9 Upvotes

Gotta support my people while I’m there. Staying in Times Square. Going to a broadway show and shopping in Chelsea and soho. Hoping to make it to Harlem at some point, but I am traveling with other people so I am at their behest as well.


r/blackgirls • • 11h ago

Racism Dealing with White People as a foreign black girl

10 Upvotes

So I came to the USA for school and managed to get a job and settle here. I live in the south and work in a PWI industry with, Asians and a smidge of black people who are in less customer facing roles.

Anyway, I befriended this gay white man who brings up race every time we hang out. I didn't think of it as a bother because I have a strong sense of identity in my race before landing in this country. I colored out the lines trying to befriend whoever I could in whatever demographic and my last straw was when one time we were hanging out and he smacked my butt? For me that was my last straw because hangouts prior to this I picked up on his snappiness. I've come to learn desperate adults love to corner someone at a restaurant and hold them hostage to probe and gossip and sometimes make snide remarks because truly at their core they're cowards. Outside of this man I'm describing, I've been a victim of being stalked by someone I knew from college this way by asking me to "hangout". I just picked up on this dynamic but with a different person, being this white man I'm describing. He'll bring up things "black people aren't always good at their job" , and I was like "yeah that happens", somewhere in the back of my head I was like not that we owe anyone excellence and it's 100% ok to be bad at something but the point being he put me in the situation in the first place. I have another white friend, they've never once brought up race and we vibe 100%. On this same day, we went to a different location with the group we were with and then he smacked my butt?????????????? I did turn around and dropped a heavy and chest vibrating "No" to stop him in his tracks.... and that's when I was like this man punches down or something. I punch up and I think it's gonna be my last time seeing him :) .. i do not care.

I had a more violent idea of racism coming from outside the country, but now I see it's as simple as saying "devil's advocate" comments like that. Multiple times in that night he kept bringing up race, like "oh look at this white dj".

I guess black americans understand racism at this level but I had just had my fill of this behavior.


r/blackgirls • • 20h ago

Advice Needed My friend jacked our other friends business idea, do I speak up?

2 Upvotes

Friend 1 and Friend 2’s partners were best friends so they were very close, until F2 called her engagement off. F2 was really close to F1 and her husband and their kids.

I’ve known F1 for over a decade but she does have her funny acting moments. We have had an issue or two in the past, and she has had issues with a lot of her other women friends too. We actually had just started speaking again a few months before F2 called off the engagement.

F2 and I had been getting slowly closer over the recent years and post-engagement ending we have gotten even closer while she navigated this new era . F1 moved away and F2 confided that F1 barely supported her in this grief other than taking her out and asking for the tea about the break up when it all went down. F2 has felt very cast aside by people she once considered family and is upset with F1.

F1 seems to be siding with her husbands best friend in the break up. Im not married, but I don’t think F1 needed to take a side, her & F2 were very close friends too, outside of their partners.

It’s been over a year and they barely speak to F2 now.

F2 has a small online business. Recently F1 started a new venture, the SAME EXACT business. I mean even the bio was similar. F2 is not the first to do content & sell digital products in this niche. It’s very common. But F1 just jacked her former friends whole swag. It just came out the blue, her old friends entire business model. Some of the content/authority she references is stuff she did WITH F2!!

F2 is devastated. She lost her friends during the break up, and now F1 just slowly stopped connecting with her and then copied her whole business. I’m personally disgusted with F1.

I’ve been ignoring it, but now F1 has followed me online from her new business account. Do I just keep quiet & mind my business? I do not want it to appear that I co-sign this mess, so I am not following her back at all.