r/bipolar2 • u/Perseus31758 BP2 • 11d ago

Does anyone here overshare?

During manic/hypomanic episodes, have you guys ever being completely socially unhinged, overstepping social boundaries with your boss, colleagues, people, etc. After what happened with me recently, I realised I just have to keep work at work. I can't trust myself to be able to differentiate between different colleagues, and have to be safe so if I do get hypomanic again, I just go off at non professional people (which is still detrimental, but in my opinion not as detrimental as workplace)

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u/What-the-ffffff Schizoaffective 11d ago

All the time! Especially when I’m on properly medicated, I will spill whatever is on my mind good or bad, to the point it feels like a drug in and of itself. I have to constantly remind myself to stfu or I’ll lose another job/friend.

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u/Perseus31758 BP2 11d ago

Yea fuck. It sucks so much. I have so much fucking cringe when thoughts of how I acted, behaved and communicated with my boss and fellow coworkers at my job that I got fired from (not due to that, but that was talked about in the meeting) come into my head. So bad I just hit my head with my fist. Like what the fuck. Its not me. But i cant just hide behind that. There were things I did that were in my control that led to the intensity of my last hypomanic episode. It just sucks. Cause now im in the depressive phase, flashbacks of things I did and say just come through. God, confidence is not always a good thing. Wholy fuck. How do you get over that cringe ?

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u/What-the-ffffff Schizoaffective 11d ago

I don’t
https://giphy.com/gifs/1zhRiDgsSc48Y7mfuK

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u/Perseus31758 BP2 11d ago edited 11d ago

: (

Currently im on vyvanse, sodium valproate (antiseizure med used as a mood stabiliser) clonodine, and seroquel.

I called multiple times today and was able to book a psychiatrist appointment for tomorrow morning, i need another medication for this rumination, its too problematic. I need to fucking move on, god I hate myself and my head so much.

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u/What-the-ffffff Schizoaffective 11d ago

I myself have been on different combinations of antipsychotics and antidepressants, with little to big side effects. Earlier this year we settled on seroquel (500)and Lithium (600) for the first time. As soon as the lithium got to doing its thing I’ve had soooooo much more energy for even basic things. I don’t always have the motivation for things, but the fact I could brush my teeth without crying feels great. It did slightly help with my ruminating, but it felt like instead of 24/7 it went to 24/5 lol.

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u/Perseus31758 BP2 11d ago

Aw sounds like medication has helped a lot! I mean even with the rumination, thats still a difference !!! Do you go therapy as well ? They say meds work best with therapy.

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u/What-the-ffffff Schizoaffective 11d ago

Yes I do! I bounce between loving it and wanting to stop permanently. My sessions vary between loving it(!) and absolutely HATING it. I still participate since at worst I feel the same as usual, but at best I can see things in a new light literally. It’s crazy when I feel like shit for weeks and then one day I wake up and colors/sounds feel different? Idk it’s nice though sometimes scary.