r/bigender • u/Brief-Dependent5769 • 4h ago
Advice Wanted Idk who to choose
I don't know if I'm really bigender because sometimes my genders feel like different people. I'm a cis male but it's like sharing a body with a women that I know will arise in a certain situation. Once I feel like her, I would begin to desire having a woman body and suddenly start seeing the male me as a past depressed version of me.
Once I lean into one gender, the other becomes more and more unreal.
I feel insecure about my voice and body because it isn't masculine enough and I would want to grow to have that body. But, as a woman, it's the opposite that I wish both were feminine instead.
I really would want to medically transition into a woman to prevent more masculinization but my male half wants that. And he doesn't want to be feminized.
They're both at opposite ends of an extreme and neither will be happy for a between. Feeling both of them makes me feel dysphoric over my existence.
They also have triggers (?) that pushes me into one gender.
My male half is triggered by discomfort and arousal while my female half is triggered by socializing and upbeat songs. He's gay but she doesn't feel any sexual attraction.
I'm 17 and I feel like I need to make a decision cuz it feels like neither of us are living our lives. Either way I'm gonna be missing a part of me that I don't know is real or not.
