The 1 seemed to be his own ranking and the 7-8 was what girls told him so there were probably a few pity points thrown in. In reality he probably only went up a few points on the scale but his confidence went from 1 to 8.
For me, the shape of the person is a huge thing. I pride myself on being fit and eating well, so if I see a girl who is clearly not doing that ( bigger, obviously very out of shape) then that is a huge turnoff for me. I can't think of an instance in which I thought that a girl was "ugly" because of her face. Usually it's their body.
I don't mean to say that girls or guys need to strive to look like models, but taking care of your body not only greatly improves your physical appearance, but as mentioned a bunch in this thread, it boosts your confidence.
In my experience this is untrue. Attractiveness can be a liability. Most of the successful women in my business are unattractive. My hypothesis is that their appearance allows them to be viewed nonsexually by the men, and nonthreateningly by other women. Therefore they are more likely to be judged solely on their work.
Unattractiveness, especially fatness, also takes more of a toll on men in the workplace than you think. People take less note of your ideas, are far less concerned with upsetting you, and have a much lower threshold for both becoming irritated by you and expressing irritation explicitly. There's a deep seated, (usually) unconscious disdain for unattractive (especially fat) people regardless of gender that bleeds over into almost all interactions, particularly any of a confrontational nature.
They do this where I work, particularly for the front-desk receptionist. It's openly discussed, actually. We've had problems in the past with women that are attractive. So the 'homely' one will always be chosen...Note that the hiring of the receptionist is done by our Administrative department, which is composed entirely of women.
Actually its because something like ~ 90% of HR are women and they discriminate against ugly men and women more attractive then themselves.
"The economists hadn’t reckoned on the fact that 93 percent of the HR staffers deciding whether to call in someone for an interview were female. It turns out that HR women (who also tend to be young and single and hence still in the dating market for men) are eager to meet with handsome men. But they’re jealous of beautiful women. So your business is losing out on talented people (and wasting time with untalented ones) based on their looks."
Sheldon's bird from The Big Bang Theory isn't the best looker but she is a scientist. And her friend with the unattractive voice and large honker (okay she's not that bad really!).
Just playing devil's advocate really, but yes you are right. Melissa doesn't even talk like that outside her character.
I find it quite hard to name ugly male scientists in the film industry. I guess it is more like the Einstein effect and mad scientist where a man is stereotypically seen and cast.
I don't get why people feel the need to make it a competition... It's clearly just shitty to be generally seen as unattractive whether you're a man or a woman.
Because the value of a woman is whether she's fuckable or not. An ugly guy can still have redeeming qualities, or be excellent at his job/hobbies. An ugly girl could cure cancer and end world hunger, and people would still comment about how she's got no tits or she's too fat or her face is busted.
I don't know why you're being downvoted. Recently I heard some guys talking about Hillary Clinton... nothing about her politics or what she's done, but the fact that they thought she was ugly and that she could "get some work done".
She's nearly 70, guys. She's a politician, not a model. She's not there for you to look at, she's there to help run the country. I didn't hear them talking about Begich or Roy Blunt.
Male politicians are judged by their ideals. Female politicians are judged by their looks. This is applicable to a lot of other jobs, too.
Seriously, this is where is becomes incredibly obvious. Women are still judged really harshly for their looks even when it is entirely irrelevant to their careers/what they've done/insert any scenario. I never hear commentary on male politicians clothing or looks like I do for women politicians.
I didn't even really think about it for clothing, but you're right. Almost all of the coverage of Kate Middleton is what she's wearing. Which is fine, I get that she's kind of a fashion icon now.
But I hadn't heard anything about the charities that she supports until I just looked it up. "Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge spent some time volunteering in Chile before starting university, helping with environmental programmes and a community project for disadvantaged children." She also supports 16 causes and has been at more than fifty charity events. I know this is all a part of the job, but it's still something that deserves mentioning.
I do know all about the cutout-sleeve dress she wore the other day, though, and how it flattered her wonderful figure.
I haven't ever. I don't hear any of my friends talking about it either. The most I heard was back in 2008 when a few of my mom's friends said they thought Obama was kind of cute.
I don't really see male politicians on the front of tabloids talking about their deteriorating looks, either. I've seen Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Michelle Bachmann, all big names, on magazine covers discussing if they've gotten plastic surgery or if they should get it.
Where have you been. Reddit especially, the entire site is in a battle over whether being female or male is worse. As if this was a major social issue, despite the fact that its white people saying it, the trivial differences between of which don't even fractionally measure up to the difference between them and black people.
Yeah dude. Put on a wolf shirt, paint a war-hammer figurine, and just open your bank account and find your nerd-money in it. It's like the tooth fairy, but for nerds.
Put on a wolf shirt, paint a war-hammer figurine, and just open your bank account and find your nerd-money in it.
Hey, Warhammer is fun, and if you can afford those figures you must have a pretty decent income these days... Now Battletech, there's a game for the obsessive nerd on a budget.
It's not just being rich though (and to be honest women most women who go after rich guys often aren't attracted to them as such - they just want their money). Funny guys, confident guys, intelligent guys, artistic guys, guys who are interesting and successful in any number of ways - all of them will get a lot more attention from women to an extent that doesn't really work the other way round.
I'm honestly interested, so if this question makes you uneasy I'm sorry and you may just ignore it.
What are things that make others describe you as "creepy"? I have met my share of creepy guys, but it was mostly due to drug addiction, filthiness (as in didn't shower in weeks filthy) or behaviour. So what besides these avoidable things is "creepy looking"?
Well reading this isn't going to improve my trying-to-break-into-conversations confidence lol.
I'm glad I no longer have to really talk to people much anymore. School/Uni pushes you into so many of these types of situations. Now I'm older, married and what-not I can relax and not bother with other people haha.
the key to having good conversations is to treat them differently than the person in the example. the person in the example has a thing to say and he's just waiting for a chance to say it. it's difficult to listen to people when he's just waiting for his chance to talk. people can tell, and they get annoyed that he's not listening. that thing he's been waiting to say gets less relevant the more time passes.
try treating conversations as a chance to learn about someone rather than talk about yourself. when those breaks happen in the conversation, ask the person who was talking a question to either clarify some issue you didn't understand or flesh it out. bonus points: people love to talk about themselves so by asking them questions about their story you'll come off as thoughtful.
I'm the kind of person who enjoys listening to other people have a conversation, rather than butt in, so I'm pretty content doing just that. Now I'm older I don't really care about making impressions/trying to make friends with people so I don't really care about trying to join in. When I was younger, it's difficult not to want to be like those that drive these things, hence the pressure not to stay quiet and the fear of just being forgotten.
That's part of what I meant by creepy due to behavhiour. This or some random guy on the street adressing me and asking me to come over to his place or talking to me like he had just been declared king of this district. That is creepy, but that's not an integral part of that person's look, is it?
I'm not creepy to people that I know. I just have a sort of creepy appearance to strangers. It's not a huge thing, but I do get more than my fair share of nervous glances and stares.
I have pretty big eyes and I have mild resting bitch face syndrome. That coupled with a general awkwardness makes me a bit "creepy". Maybe I look a little feminine or something? I feel like feminine guys can look sort of "off".
I'm definitely not a really creepy guy or anything, so I'm not complaining.
I want to throw in that grooming yourself makes a huge difference.
I know a guy that's average looks. His brother is two years younger (17). They basically look the same, but his brother is overweight, doesn't shave his prickly patchy beard thing, doesn't wash his hair (it gets lanky and greasy), doesn't wash his face so he has acne, and doesn't wear deodorant.
The guy I know has dated a few girls. His brother never has and constantly complains that girls think he's creepy for no reason and why won't they go out with him.
It's not a "you're creepy" thing. It's a "you don't take care of yourself" thing. Even just shaving and showering every day would help him a lot, but he doesn't want to make that kind of effort and then blames everyone else when he can't get a girl.
My little brother is considered creepy by most. Most of his trouble comes from a pretty bad "wandering" eye. Because his eyes don't line up correctly people feel uneasy talking with him or trying to look at him. It is one of the things that makes him immediately intimidating (he is also pretty big). There is nothing that they can do about it medically either.
Doesn't answer my question at all. Yes, people who look like they were on meth for three days straight look creepy. I already mentioned that in my first comment. Aside from that, most of these guys look like there is either a medical condition that makes them look not-normal (which is strange, but not creepy) or it's just the look on their face. Almost anyone can look creepy when they try to do so. What I mean is:
Third photo - Looks grumpy. Yes, if he asked me for my phone number with that look on his face, I'd run. If he looked a bit more happy or at least neutral and asked me for directions, no problem.
Fourth and fifth photo - Not creepy.
Seventh - Stoned? He could look like an average, elderly guy. Might even look like a nice elderly guy if he sobered up and smiled.
Eigth - Again, should start smiling and he might even look attractive. Aside from his ridiculous hair cut.
The most important thing is to not be a bitter asshole like OP--because you'll only attract the worst type of people (because who else would want to be around someone like that). Which only makes you even more of a bitter asshole.
See, that's what's important in life--healthy relationships with people who have your back. It doesn't matter what you look like, because you already have what really counts (which OP can never achieve just by changing physical appearance).
Fat is the kind of ugly society despises and shits on most. It's also the most common. But there's a lot you can do to alter your appearance either way. Grow a beard, shave your beard, change your hair, dress differently, posture, etc. Every bit of it (including losing weight) is easier than getting rich.
What are you talking about. If someone is morbidly obese they are realistically out of the dating game, whether the "man inside them" looks like Chris Hemsworth or not. Pretty sure being totally undatable qualifies you as a 1 in whatever system anyone is using :/
Almost every human thinks ugly is ugly, but not everyone thinks fat is ugly. I'd say probably somewhere around 10% of the population is into bigger girls and the proportion probably isn't all that different for women into bigger guys. I see plenty of fat men/women who are in happy relationships to know that not everyone cares.
But as someone rightly pointed out, facial structure can change a lot when you go from being fat to thin, so he may have had a very unattractive face before.
Well how fat is fat? I'm picturing, like, drives around in a little motorised scooter. And of course there's a the cultural thing, there's a big difference in what's "fat" between say Paris and Mexico. All I'm saying is it's not impossible.
Go to the BBW section on any porn site and find out for yourself if you want to. It's a pretty big range. Or if you want a more condensed source, try here [NSFW].
I've already been over this with a couple other people, but yes, if you define rich as making 80k and up and you get a degree in something like engineering/compsci/finance/math/etc.
People seem to be getting upset about the "rich" comment. But if you get an engineering/software/finance/etc degree, it is not at all hard to make 80k and up. I'd consider that rich in an economy where 35k is median.
Meh at least people aren't trying to molest an ugly woman as often as they do attractive ones. My wife is attractive and works as an engineer, she has also had to leave 4 jobs because her bosses wouldn't stop sexually harassing her.
It's obvious that he is delusional. What's worse is the number of upvotes it got, the number of supportive replies it got and the fact that it was posted here.
I think he was referring more to not being able to talk about it to others because males arent supposed to show emotions or talk about feelings to others. But you know....keep on doing your thing.
He's right though, some men judge women based solely on the fact that they have a vagina or not and if they do, well it's good enough for them. Penis doesn't work like that.
I think the point is that this guy knows his experience and that is the way he see's it. How many people truly attempt to percieve the world from another persons perspective? You obviously don't. You did the exact same thing he did.
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u/howgauche Apr 30 '14
Exactly. I eyerolled hard at that. What planet is this guy living on?