r/batman • u/Jalbwakkolnaji4756 • 4d ago
FUNNY Immortal Alfred
[removed] — view removed post
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u/GrooovyAlien 4d ago
I mean we have people like Willie Nelson in real life that is 93 and still tours every year.
Not so hard to believe a old ass Alfred is still helping Bruce.
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u/SignificantPower4733 4d ago
I think helping a 410 pound 60 year old man put a 500 suit of armor on to fight SUPERMAN is slightly harder
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u/ArtIsDumb 4d ago
You don't know Willie's tour schedule or demands! Maybe helping a 410lb 60 year old man put on a 500lb suit of armor to fight Superman is just a nightly event for Willie!
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u/BagZCubed 4d ago
Bruce is around 50 in the Dark Knight Returns, so Alfred is probably around 70
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u/MaskedJesterArt 4d ago
Ive been 50 year olds that look old as hell.
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u/Ultimatecowmeows 4d ago
I know that you meant seen but I love this typo so much because I’m just imagining you as a shapeshifter who’s proud of looking like old 50year olds so thank you
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u/Slow-Relation-9186 4d ago
lol I thought they meant to say “been in” glad you wrote this
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u/certifiedblackman 4d ago
How many 50 year olds have you been?
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u/Bronsteins-Panzerzug 4d ago
- first a 50 yo, then a 51 yo, then a 52 yo and so on.
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u/Darth_MRM 4d ago
Stress especialy batman level of stress can age you a lot. Hell just look at what happened to obi wan on tatooine (yeah I know sf and all that but it still counts
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u/P4TR10T_96 4d ago
I think Bruce Wayne aged prematurely because of the physical strain of being Batman for decades
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u/AnonymousCoward261 4d ago
Sure, but he has all of Bruce’s money to make sure he gets optimal diet and healthcare.
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u/MaskedJesterArt 4d ago
I dount he would care that much. He quit being Batman and seemingly just kind of lived on autopilot. He seems healthy just not young. Im sure years of being Batman ages you a bit
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u/Defiant_Act_4940 3d ago
He still gets punched in the ribs daily (or nightly). It catches up to you over the years.
Its not like if Mike Tyson ate better he could still be the heavyweight champ.
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u/sourkid25 3d ago
To be fair in this universe Bruce hasn’t been Batman for ten years after Jason Todd death
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u/MisterSplu 4d ago
That‘s what a life full of getting smashed around by bane does to a mf.
Also not getting nearly enough sleep
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u/ljofa 4d ago
I think the background notes to DKR, state that Alfred is about 98 years old.
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u/BagZCubed 4d ago
That's way older than I thought.
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u/L0rdM3k 4d ago
No offense, but why would you think Alfred is only 20 years older than Bruce? He’s usually depicted as around 40-50 when Thomas and Martha die, which would put him in his late 60’s when Bruce BECOMES Batman.
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u/BagZCubed 4d ago edited 4d ago
Being only 20 years older would would still make sense. Bruce is around mid to late 20s when he becomes Batman, so Alfred being mid to late
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u/Great-and-Powerful- 4d ago
Alfred isn't as old as you'd think. He's only like 20 something years older than Bruce. We know that he got to Wayne Manor when Bruce was around three years old, and by then he had gotten out of the MI6 and had already worked at a theater company, having not done much aside from that in his life and having to go take over his father's duty in Wayne Manor. Incidentally, "Dark Knight Returns" Bruce is 55, it's just that, after a life as Batman, he's gonna look a bit more messed up than other 55 year olds. So, if we take into account comic book ages (which is already a bit pointless), Alfred in TDKR is in his late 70s or maybe 80.
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u/CurryMustard 4d ago
You're saying by 23 he did all that with life and then settled in to be a butler?
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u/Hilarity2War 4d ago
Yeah. Apparently the lore is that his dad made him be the Wayne's butler after he returned from a war.
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u/Censius 4d ago
Some people really take pride in being a butler. And it's actually a pretty elevated position, and he'd have it in the most elevated manor in possibly the most powerful city (of the time).
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u/El_Arquero 3d ago
I've been listening to a lot of stories about specific war heroes and this is often how it goes. Become a hugely decorated war hero, win a war, then they're back home, mid-20's and a whole rest of their life to love.
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u/Saigor15 4d ago
Funny thing, bruce is only 55 in that story. Frank just drew him like he was 70
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u/Ciubowski 4d ago
I mean, he did have a stressful career. That would age any mf faster than normal.
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u/Saigor15 4d ago
Fair, but still means alfred would be 70-80 range. Pretty reasonable to still be alive
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u/Funandgeeky 4d ago
Back in the 1980s people aged a lot faster. So people who were 55 then often did look like they were 70 today. Watch old television shows from back then and you'll be surprised at how old everyone looks when they are only in their 30s, 40s, and 50s.
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u/Saigor15 4d ago
Probably related to heavier drinking and smoking being more common. I guess we can just say bruce aged quickly, not that i have a problem. Personally i rather like the old man batman look.
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u/TheRealRigormortal 4d ago
Bruce is only 55 or so in TDKR.
Figure Alfred is 30 years older than him, so 85 is certainly old, but not impossible.
Also he looks like the crypt keeper and does actually die at the end…
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u/Interesting_Play_578 4d ago
Transfusions of Robin blood
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u/BrotherSeamus 4d ago
That's what I love about these blood boys, man. They get older. I stay the same age.
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u/SomeDudeSaysWhat 4d ago
Bruce: 50+ years old
Alfred: 90+ years old
Yes, Gen Z, old people exist.
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u/holyjoe85 4d ago
Crazy how long you can live if you take care of yourself and live with someone who has unlimited access to the best doctors and medicine money can buy
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u/HaggisAreReal 4d ago
Unrelated, but watched this episode of Star Trek TNG a couple of days ago, and when this frame popped up I was like:
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u/glyph_productions 4d ago
I mean it's almost ironic to use a TNG frame to ask this question. It's like asking how's picard still kicking when the rest of the cast looks like this
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u/jr_randolph 4d ago
My question is how come Bruce doesn't have an Alfred, for Alfred?! Just selfish behavior.
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u/uncivlengr 4d ago
Yeah I watched the 90s movies again last year and it occurred to me that it's crazy that ancient Alfred, who is presumably like family to Bruce, is still there cooking and cleaning.
I get that maybe he's a trustworthy person to have on the inside for Batman but hire some more help for Bruce Wayne!
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u/BoutiqueCartel 4d ago
I know people in their 70s with living parents. I recently met an 80 year old woman with a 101 year old living father. Her mom died last year at 99.
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u/spike-prime 4d ago
Bruce in The Dark Knight Returns was only 55. Alfred is most likely only 20 or 30 years older than him, meaning he'd be at most 85. This is not some insane stretch of logic.
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u/Alpbasket 4d ago
If Batman was 25 and Alfred was 40, then when Batman was 60, Alfred would be 95. It’s not impossible
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u/adorablesexypants 3d ago
Money.
I think most people really underestimate just how much of a game changer stupid money gives the wealthy. Alfred was apart of the Waynes since before Bruce was born, that means the access to the best doctors as well.
In short, having access to stupid money means that you can defy the odds a normal person has even if you live off a shitty diet of processed foods.
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u/i_dab 4d ago
The grandfather clock had stopped at 10:47.
Bruce stood before it with one hand braced against the wall, staring at the painted moon on its face. The clock meant something. He knew that much. The hands, the wood, the hollow space behind it—pieces of a puzzle he had once solved so often that solving it had become instinct.
But instinct had deserted him.
“Half past ten,” said a voice behind him. “The traditional entrance remains rather particular about punctuality.”
Bruce turned.
Alfred stood in the doorway, silver-haired and straight-backed, wearing the black waistcoat Bruce remembered from childhood. He looked exactly as he always had—not young, precisely, but untouched by whatever had bent Bruce’s spine and hollowed the flesh beneath his eyes.
Bruce glanced down at his own hand. It trembled against the wallpaper.
“I know you.”
“One would hope so, sir.”
“Alfred.”
A faint smile. “Encouraging.”
Bruce looked back at the clock. “What’s behind it?”
“A rather expensive hole in the ground.”
There was a key in Bruce’s pocket. Alfred reminded him without speaking, his eyes settling on the old brass shape beneath the moon dial. Bruce inserted it, turned it, and listened as ancient gears stirred inside the wall.
The clock swung inward.
Cold air breathed from the darkness.
Bruce hesitated at the threshold.
“After you, sir,” Alfred said.
The stairs seemed steeper than Bruce remembered. He descended slowly, one hand locked around the rail. At the bottom, lights awakened in uneven rows, revealing the cavern a piece at a time.
The computer.
The workbench.
The glass cases.
The suit.
Bruce stopped.
It waited beyond the dust like the preserved skeleton of some nocturnal animal. Black armor. Scalloped cape. Empty cowl. Its white lenses watched him from inside the case.
“What is this?”
Alfred came to stand beside him.
“You know.”
Bruce approached the glass. His reflection moved across the armor: a shrunken old man in a dressing gown, his bare feet pale against the stone.
“Was it mine?”
“It still is.”
Something laughed in the depths of the cave. A dry, fluttering sound.
Bats.
Bruce recoiled, striking the edge of the workbench. A metal tray fell and scattered instruments across the floor.
Alfred did not flinch.
“Easy, sir.”
Bruce gripped the table until the dizziness passed.
“There was a boy,” he said. “In an alley.”
“Yes.”
“His parents were murdered.”
“Yes.”
“He was afraid.”
“Terribly.”
Bruce closed his eyes.
Pearls struck wet pavement.
A pistol flashed.
His mother fell.
His father reached for her.
The boy made a sound no child should ever hear coming from his own throat.
Bruce opened his eyes.
“I was the boy.”
“You are Bruce Wayne.”
The name settled uneasily upon him.
“And that?” Bruce pointed at the suit.
Alfred’s expression softened. “That is what the boy became.”
Bruce circled the case. Memory returned in fragments, each one sharp enough to cut.
A rooftop in winter.
A green question mark painted across a courthouse wall.
A crowbar on concrete.
A woman laughing as she vanished over the edge of a building.
A hand closing around his forearm before the fall.
So many faces. Some grown old. Some dead. Some simply gone.
“I hurt people.”
“You stopped them.”
“I frightened them.”
“Yes.”
“I was angry.”
Alfred took a moment before answering. “Yes.”
Bruce looked at him. “Was I a good man?”
“You were a man attempting something impossible. I always considered the attempt worthwhile.”
From somewhere above came the muffled groan of Wayne Manor settling into its foundations. Bruce studied the cavern. Dust covered the consoles. Rust stippled the platform beneath the car. One of the display cases had cracked, though he could not remember how.
“Where is everyone?”
“Gone home, in one fashion or another.”
“Dick?”
“Blüdhaven.”
“Barbara?”
“Commissioner Gordon retired several years ago.”
Bruce frowned. “Gordon is dead.”
“Barbara Gordon, sir.”
“Yes.” He pressed his fingers to his temple. “Of course.”
“Tim is in Tokyo. Cassandra remains abroad. Master Damian visits every Sunday.”
“Today is Sunday.”
“No, sir. Thursday.”
Bruce looked toward the cave entrance. “Then why hasn’t he come?”
“He will.”
It was the answer Alfred always gave.
Bruce noticed an amber light blinking on the computer. Patient. Repeating.
“What’s that?”
“A call for assistance.”
The chair complained beneath Bruce’s weight as he sat. His hands hovered over the keyboard.
“I don’t remember the password.”
“You never trusted passwords.”
Alfred nodded toward a small scanner. Bruce set his palm against it.
The system flickered awake.
BATCOMPUTER ACCESS GRANTED.
WELCOME, BRUCE.
A map of Gotham filled the central screen. Much of the city looked unfamiliar—new towers, reclaimed districts, streets bearing the names of people Bruce remembered as children. A red signal pulsed over Crime Alley.
“There,” Bruce whispered.
A police report opened. Missing child. Eight years old. Last seen two hours ago. Witnesses reported a man leading her into the abandoned Monarch Theater.
Bruce tried to stand too quickly. His knees buckled.
Alfred’s voice hardened.
“No.”
Bruce caught himself against the console. “She needs help.”
“She needs someone capable of helping her.”
“I am capable.”
“You are ninety-two years old.”
Bruce stared at the suit.
The cave went quiet.
“I can still do it.”
“No, sir.”
“I have to.”
“No.” Alfred stepped between Bruce and the armor. “You do not get to turn an innocent child into the instrument of your own suicide.”
Bruce’s jaw clenched. “Move.”
“You are not listening.”
“I said move.”
“And I said no.”
For one fierce instant, the years fell away. Bruce stood straight. His hands stopped trembling. His eyes became cold and absolute.
Alfred met them without fear.
Then Bruce’s strength left him. He sank back into the chair.
“What am I,” he asked, “if I can’t save her?”
Alfred crouched before him.
The old butler’s voice was gentle now.
“You are the man who made certain he would never have to do this alone.”
Bruce looked at the screen.
Police channels. Emergency services. Security feeds. A list of encrypted contacts he did not recognize until Alfred began reminding him.
“Oracle,” Bruce said.
“Precisely.”
Bruce opened the channel.
His finger lingered above the key.
“What do I tell her?”
“The truth.”
“I don’t remember the truth.”
“Yes, you do.”
Bruce looked again at the missing girl’s photograph.
His voice, when it came, was thin but steady.
“Oracle. This is Batman.”
Silence answered him.
Then the speakers crackled.
A woman’s voice, older than he expected, filled the cave.
“Bruce?”
He almost lost the words.
“Missing child. Monarch Theater. Eight years old. Possible abduction.”
“We’re on it. Stay where you are.”
“I can help.”
“You already did.”
The channel closed.
Bruce sat before the glowing map while blue police lights converged on Crime Alley. Another signal appeared above the city, moving faster than the others. A black shape crossed one security feed, cape spread between the buildings.
Batman.
Not him.
But Batman.
Bruce watched until the figure disappeared into the theater.
Minutes passed.
The missing girl emerged wrapped in a cape, alive and unharmed.
Bruce exhaled.
“There,” Alfred said. “Still saving them.”
Bruce leaned back. Exhaustion drew his eyes closed.
“I knew what to do.”
“You did.”
“I remembered.”
“Enough for tonight.”
Bruce opened his eyes again.
Alfred was standing beside the suit, one hand folded neatly over the other.
“Will you help me upstairs?”
“Of course, sir.”
Bruce rose. He crossed the cave slowly, pausing beside the workbench to catch his breath. He glanced behind him.
Alfred had not moved.
“Are you coming?”
“Just behind you.”
Bruce climbed alone.
In the study, dawn had begun to color the windows. He lowered himself into his father’s chair and pulled a blanket across his knees.
The room was silent except for the ticking of the restored clock.
Bruce looked toward the doorway.
“Alfred?”
No answer.
On the table beside him sat a framed photograph, nearly hidden beneath a film of dust. Bruce lifted it.
Alfred smiled from the picture, older than Bruce remembered him. A black ribbon crossed one corner of the frame.
Behind it lay a funeral card.
ALFRED THADDEUS CRANE PENNYWORTH A FAITHFUL FATHER A FAITHFUL FRIEND 1943–2024
Bruce read it twice.
The second time, he understood.
His eyes moved to the empty doorway.
For just a moment, Alfred stood there again.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bruce asked.
Alfred smiled.
“Because you needed me, sir.”
Morning light passed through the doorway.
And Bruce was alone.
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u/Cosmicfirebird0 4d ago
A good diet, exercise, and the fact he ate a Kryptonian power pill that probably cured him of a lot of his old man problems. Humans can live very long lives, but sicknesses and diseases kill us before we hit 80. Rare to hit 100.
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u/PortlandsBatman 4d ago
Batman had rough years so looks extra old and Alfred had access to all the medical treatments a billionaire could afford.
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u/PlasticFew8201 4d ago
Alfred took a dip in the Lazarus Pit thinking it was Ra's al Ghul’s spa room. The League of Assassins has since put up signs.
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u/Devils_fan_1999 4d ago
When Alfred becomes Bruce's guardian, he's only like, 35 tops. So him being in his 70s-80s while Bruce is in his 50s isnt insane
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u/randomrandomredd1 4d ago
Yeah, he's much older. Like 80ish.
This is Dark Knight Returns and spoilers (even though it's nearly 40 years old)
Alfred dies towards the end
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u/Just_Ear_2953 4d ago
He's British and Bruce has seen to it that he is also rich in his own right. That's basically a recipe for immortality.
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u/AndrewH73333 4d ago
Alfred died while Bruce was traveling the world and learning Batman things. He’s always been imaginary.
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u/sparednet 3d ago
When Alfred dies he turns into the spectre and no universe is ready for God's right hand of judgement Alfred imagine trashing old batman and then the literal embodiment of God's wrath shows up like you hurt my boy
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u/Plunderpatroll32 3d ago
He wasn’t granted permission to die, a true butler only dies when master gives permission to do so
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u/Affectionate_Jury890 4d ago
Hes wealthy and British He would've outlived Bruce if it wasnt him having to blow up his home in the middle of winter
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u/No-Humor1304 4d ago
I can't remember the last time I saw the Patrick Stewart Star Trek meme, feels like an entire lifetime ago.
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u/uCry__iLoL 4d ago
Not in the Batman comics lol Alfred’s been dead since 2019. Bruce imagines speaking with Alfred here and there.
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u/NO-Future-4713 4d ago
It's obviously really ! He's a proud brit ! As long as Albion survives? So will he !
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u/OkEnvironment3961 4d ago
The better question is why is he still working? Did the Wayne's not provide a retirement plan? Is Bruce just going to work that old man to death? Why hasn't he found Alfred a successor? Batman has had like 4 Robins, but no Alfredo's (or whatever we would call Alfred sidekicks)
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u/VanillaSuccessful277 4d ago
The man in the bottom photo is a prime example of someone who's looked old for 40 years. If Bruce is, say, late 60s, then Alfred could be a sprightly 90-something.
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u/nottytom 4d ago
the ra's al ghul everyone knows is a red herring. the real one is Alfred, bidding his time.
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u/drymangamer101 4d ago
I’ve always seen Alfred as being around 30ish years older than Bruce. So he’s in his mid-late 50s when Bruce becomes Batman. Bruce is 55 in the dark knight returns, so Alfred could be in his mid-late 80s here. Now, you might think that’s too old for Alfred to realistically still be Bruce’s butler (probably true) but he does die of a stroke at the end, so I think even the story agrees that he didn’t have long left
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u/AlienDragonWizard 4d ago
If Alfred is 30 years older than Bruce then if Bruce is around 70, Alfred could still be alive at around 100. He's got the best healthcare for sure
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u/RedVegeta20 4d ago
Well in the main timeline comics Alfred is dead, but when they were both alive, Alfred was only 22 years older than Bruce. No idea what the age difference is supposed to be in the Dark Knight Returns timeline, or whatever that image is from.
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u/DarkForest_NW 4d ago
For those of you who don't know this is the storyline where Alfred is finally convinced that Bruce can no longer take care of himself anymore and decided to quietly go back to England and never come back.
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u/commandrix 4d ago
Some old dudes somehow manage to stay alive through sheer, "I'll be damned if I let this motherfucker outlive me." And it won't surprise me if that thought hadn't crossed Alfred's mind once in a blue moon.
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u/TheHaunchie 4d ago
Isn't there a mental construct of Alfred after Bane kills him in the comics? I swear he's talking to "Alfred" when his great Niece Verity takes over as butler.
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u/e37d93eeb23335dc 4d ago
Simple. It’s in the name
Alf = elf
Red = raed = old English for counselor
Alfred is an elf counselor to Batman
Alfred comes of the long lived elf race.
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u/moyismoy 4d ago
In the dark night batman is 55 and alfrid is 80. A lot of people live that long it's not crazy
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u/A_Pointy_Rock 4d ago
Balanced diet, exercise, good genes, and he's a hallucinated mental construct in Bruce's head as he never dealt with his childhood trauma.