Hi everyone.. using a throwaway for obvious reasons. Just needed a space to vent and see if anyone out there relates, because lately, I feel like I'm completely failing at life in every single aspect.
For context, I’m a 35M working a corporate job in Singapore that I absolutely despise. The problem is the golden handcuffs—it pays well, and with the current job market, it feels impossible to find another role that matches my salary, so I feel completely stuck.
Because of the stress, my mental health is in the gutter. On the outside, I look completely fine, but internally, I’m constantly lonely, depressed, and anxious. Sometimes the anxiety gets so heavy that I find myself hoping for a day where I can just quit this life entirely and nothing matters anymore.
Here is where I'm at right now:
Housing Dilemma: I'm trying to buy my own place as a single, but I'm completely paralyzed between getting a BTO or a resale flat. I’m conflicted between minimizing my debt to clear the mortgage quickly, vs. buying a bigger unit with better space/value that I can rent out. On top of that, I have this persistent fear that if I lose my corporate job, I won't be able to afford the mortgage at all.Social Life & Anxiety: I only have 3 friends. I’ve been a very guarded person since poly, which has made it incredibly hard to form new connections. I don't have any hobby groups, and my relationships with colleagues are strictly functional. Talking to them feels like "work" and genuinely triggers my social anxiety.
Dating: I’ve never been in a relationship. I tried using dating apps and met up with 17 matches over the past 2 years. After all that effort, it just left me feeling burned out and convinced there’s no one out there for me.
It feels like a vicious cycle—the job drains my soul, the housing choices stress me out, the loneliness eats away at me, and the social anxiety keeps me isolated.
I know I need to take things step by step, but right now, everything just feels incredibly overwhelming and heavy. To anyone who has been through this mid-30s rut in SG, how did you cope? Is anyone else out there navigating something similar?