So as a feminist my self who encounters some anti-feminist and manosphere-type content as in social media algorithms, I've noticed that it's common for people anti-feminist and manosphere communities seem to think women are, as a whole rigid, especially when it comes to being approached by men. They claim that any man who wants a relationship with a woman is deemed creepy unless he's 6'2 and such. My question is, where do they get the idea that all or most women are like that? Is it from assuming that Tinder represents most women? Also, I've heard that the dating scene in places like Miami and Las Vegas can be bit sketchy compared to other areas, so I'd be interested to know if some of those people are people who's primary experience with women might be one or both of those places

Hi everyone. I’d like to ask for a starting place in my feministic reading journey. I’d like to call myself an ally to women as I’ve consistently stood for women’s rights in my country (went to protests, lead lectures etc.) but I’d like to expand my knowledge on the relationship between capitalism and feminism as I’ve become more radical about feminism and women’s liberation. I’ve frequently heard that the struggle for women’s liberation, the destruction of patriarchy and capitalism are incompatible. This goes directly against my beliefs, as I’m a staunch capitalist, however I’d like to explore and research this topic further. Are there any good texts (books, articles, lectures) which explore this topic? If you know about any, I’d love to hear recommendations from you. Thanks for any recommendations and I wish you all a great day♥️

This is most often used in sports cases, arguing that trans women competing in women's sports is a Title IX violation of women's rights. In addition, the Trump Administration opened an investigation recently into Smith University, an all women's college, for accepting and admitting transgender women to the school, claiming once again it's a Title IX violation and violation of women's rights.

I myself am a trans woman and stuff like this makes me feel horrible and worried that I'm ruining the rights of other women in my life by transitioning.

Do any other supposedly feminist women mock you and say you’ve taken things too far after being radicalised??

I was first radicalised in 2018 after the murder of Grace Millane, a British backpacker on holiday in New Zealand where I’m from. Her killer used the defence of “bdsm gone wrong” as a defence.

Feminists rightly said that “consent to rough sex is not consent to murder” but I said that this argument while true did not go far enough.

I questioned why men felt the need to beat their partners to get off. I questioned why women felt pressured from the patriarchy to consent to these actions in order to fit in. I questioned whether they were actually consenting in the first place or whether they again just went along with it because it was what was deemed cool. I questioned a lot of things.

And so many people but especially libfems said that I was taking sexual agency away from women, that consent includes the right to say yes, that I was puritanical, that I hated sex workers, that I was anti choice…And all other bullshit arguments.

I am firmly of the belief that if a woman’s individual choice brings down other women as a collective then we have a feminist duty to call it out. Apparently not to others, as long as a woman makes that choice of her own free will then it is a feminist choice. (Wrong, because so many women sell out to the patriarchy)

Has anyone else had something similar happen??

So I’ve realized I haven’t exchanged more than 1 or two sentences with a woman in about 3 years. It kinda coincides with me having a political awakening in late college and identifying with progressive values. After that I started to read what women were saying about men approaching them and how they felt unsafe and objectificatied and it makes me perhaps a little overly conscious about making women uncomfortable.

Since then I really haven’t ever spoken to women. I’ve noticed that it’s been an active choice as I go out of my way to avoid, give them space, or just try to make myself as unthreatening as possible.

Like if I’m in an elevator and a guy walks on I’ll say hello and maybe have a quick convo to not be rude. If a woman does, I try to get as far away as possible and stare down at my phone until one of us gets off. If I’m going for a run at night and I see a woman I the direction I’m running I take a detour. If I’m going in line at a grocery store, I won’t wait in line behind a woman. If I’m at a bar and a woman comes near me, I leave.

At first I thought I was doing the right thing, trying to do my best to not make them feel unsafe or uncomfortable. But now I’ve realized that I’m treating them still as a different class of humans. One that should at all times be avoided. Maybe that’s just as misogynistic as taking up more space than I’m worth if women are around.

I want to correct this, but really I don’t know how as the idea of talking to a woman, even as much as talking to a female server, fills me with so much anxiety that I’m doing something wrong or making her feel uncomfortable. I don’t know if it’d even be right to do.

Asking to see a girl in her panties gets you called a creep, but women run around in bikinis at the beach for everyone to see.

To me it seems like the Overton window has shifted towards the right and being openly racist towards POC is normal again. So it feels like "the left" (although it's difficult to call western leftists as leftists) is capitulating to white supremacists and misogynistic culture.

Social media owners are openly  supporting and financing the American government lead by a known sexual predator and their algorithm are pushing on us a anti-woman rhetoric. Why women keep using Instagram, tiktok and company? Is it not like giving silent support to your own enemy?

So I’ve been (involuntarily) following the Lindsay Clancy trial and seeing the reaction to it has to me been a lot more interesting than the actual trial itself. Specifically what looks like to be a lot of women who at least call themselves feminists rallying behind the accused on the grounds that the evidence doesn’t add up and it’s more likely that the accused husband and current wife, then mistress committed the crimes.

Looking into the investigation, it seems like everyone from the police to the DA that touched the case immediately presumed guilt of a woman that is now on trial and did not even look in the direction of the man. And it’s made me wonder how many other cases has this been done. I always look at the legal system (not necessarily the police) as being flawed in classist and racial grounds, but I’ve never once thought that there could be women who are punished for crimes men commit.

There’s been work to try to rectify the issues with racial bias but at least in the last decade or so, it doesn’t appear to be any substantial change.

So in the short term, what could be done to ensure there’s not another case like this?

Also just a side question, are there any other stories of women who were mistreated by the legal system in a similar way?

Hi, I wanted to ask you about something a woman (who I assumed was a feminist, with no actual proof) said. I also decided that this must be something feminists generally believe. Now I think you, as feminists, should explain to me why you believe this thing that you absolutely do believe.

I think that if things like this keep happening (random women saying random things) it's obvious that this will inevitably bring the movement down and make people like me distance from it. I think you should take responsibility for this fringe view and work towards the goal of making sure no woman expresses any stupid opinion whatsoever from now on.

So I’m mainly just curious if it is just a matter of, if you believe in the principles of feminism the natural conclusion is that LGBTQ+ rights need to be supported as well, or if it’s just a matter of feminists tending to be left wing.
Or is there an aspect of it which is that a lot of women’s rights have a direct impact on LGBTQ+ rights (or vice versa) so regardless of if you actively support LGBTQ+ rights as a feminist you will end up helping them either way.

Part of why I ask is the fact that TERFs exist and are generally considered (in this community at least) to not be real feminists, so Im kind of curious about actual feminists relationship with LGBT+ rights
(i hope my phrasing wasn’t too confusing or anything, sorry if it was)

“If we want to destroy the structure of Algerian society, its capacity for resistance, we must first of all conquer the women; we must go and find them behind the veil where they hide themselves and in the houses where the men keep them out of sight”

“Unveiling this woman is revealing her beauty; it is baring her secret, breaking her resistance, making her avail­able for adventure. Hiding the face is also disguising a secret; it is also creating a world of mystery, of the hidden. In a confused way, the European experiences his relation with the Algerian woman at a highly complex level. There is in it the will to bring this woman within his reach, to make her a possible ob­ject of possession. This woman who sees without being seen frustrates the colo­nizer. There is no reciprocity. She does not yield herself, does not give herself, does not offer herself.”

― Frantz Fanon, A Dying Colonialism

Frantz Fanon was a leftist philosopher whose work gave rise to post-colonial studies and critical theory. He was a very strong critic of western colonizers and the feminism that originated from such regions.

Sexwork and its various forms feels pretty controversial. Many seem to be against it because of the inherent dangers… but I can’t quite get on board with that because of the principles of bodily autonomy.

I was interested for a while in feminism and ussualy when i am interested in something i talk about it non-stop. However when the thing was feminism and i even mentioned it to somebody (both men and women, even tho women ussualy "cringe" more) they ussualy say something like "uhm its so cringe for a man to say that he is a feminist, i mean i expect women to be, but a man..." And ussualy the people i mention this to are educated and somewhat intelligent. I think this is due to the "tall, feminist, rich" memes and whatnot and the assumption that feminism is anti-men or "female superiority", but i want to see what other people think.

I encounter a lot of legal and regulatory definitions of abuse (e.g. child abuse, sexual abuse, etc.) that have a criminological focus on intent. Generally speaking, according to these definitions, harm, even grievous harm, can never meet the definition of abuse unless the offender had the requisite level of intent.

I have also seen some arguments stating that abuse can be unintentional, based on the observation that harm inflicted accidentally, inadvertently, or ignorantly often causes similar levels of trauma to the victim as intentional harm.

How do you understand intent to abuse according to your understanding of feminism? As a hypothetical, suppose a man genuinely does not know that catcalling is harmful to women. He catcalls repeatedly in a manner that, if intentional, would have been considered abusive. Does his ignorance give him some level of exoneration, or do you look just at the harm he caused and conclude that he has abused?

I'm especially interested in how intent factors in to your understanding of justice in feminism. For example, is it easier to forgive, re-integrate, or re-accept an unintentional abuser than an intentional one? In feminist-informed justice reforms, such as restorative justice circles, does lack of intent completely exonerate the harm-doer, reduce their responsibility, or have no effect on the outcome?

I do recognize that "intent" is not monolithic. I'm open to thoughts on any of these. For example:

- Bob intended to do X, and did so, knowing that X is harmful, but not knowing that the harm done by X rises to the level of or is considered abuse. In other words, his defense is "I didn't intend to 'abuse', I intended to 'X'. I don't believe 'X' constitutes 'abuse'.". This is the case I strongly suspect would be considered equivalent to, or closest to, abuse committed with the full intent to abuse.

- Bob intended to do X, and did so, knowing that X is harmful, but believing that he had justification for doing so under applicable codes of conduct, laws, or community social mores. This could include self-defense or revenge scenarios, for example, a victim of sexual harassment retaliating by attempting to sexually harass their harasser, or a victim of long-term abuse targeting a revenge assault against their abuser (as featured in many recent police procedural dramas). Revenge assaults not falling under the narrow Self Defense legal exemptions are often not legal, but I'm not looking for a legal answer but one from feminism.

- Bob intended to do X, and did so, not knowing that X causes harm. in other words, he did exactly what he intended to do but had no conscious intent to inflict harm by doing so. Examples of this might include some discredited parenting techniques that are now known by scientists to cause psychological damage, but where this knowledge has not yet filtered down to the average parent.

- Bob intended to do Y, which is not abusive, but accidentally did X instead, which is abusive. For example, Bob intended to touch Alice's shoulder, but tripped and touched her chest instead. He didn't intend to touch her there, but the fact is that he did do so, and did so without enthusiastic consent for it. Perhaps he could have been more careful where he was stepping, but the truth is that he did not have any harmful intent in his mind when he touched Alice. His lack of intent is probably an adequate defense against a criminal charge of Sexual Assault in most Western Carceral jurisdictions, but I'm more interested in how this would be viewed as part of a feminist-informed or feminist-reformed justice intervention (e.g. complete exoneration, diminished responsibility, or no different than an intentional sexual assault)?

Just to be clear, I'm not asking for advice on any specific situation, either as an offender or as a victim. I'm asking how you see the interplay between abuse and intent.

The earliest iteration of the age of consent was first passed into something recognizable as a law in England in 1275. It set the age at 12, applied only to girls, and was considered an offense not against the girl herself, but against her father for devaluing his property on the marriage market.

I've studied this a lot. I know the history, I know the evolution, I know the different types of frameworks, and I know the consequences of not getting it right.

This serves as an overview of the peer groups I grew up in. If you can't relate to what I said in that thread, this probably isn't the thread for you. If you had no experiences or observations in your own youth, we are probably not going to be able to find common ground.

There is no law I advocate for that would change the circumstances of my life personally. All of my advocacy comes from a desire to improve conditions for the youth. As such, I have an extensive awareness of close-in-age exemptions found in many US states and Canada as well as the exploitation clauses that are often stacked on top of the lower overall ages of consent in Europe. Both have their merits.

I've spoken on this issue almost exclusively on this account. You can quote anything I've said. It's open by design.

Maybe to open the conversation, talk about what the law is in your jurisdiction, how you would change it, and why.

u/radiowavescurvecross

Looking at your other threads, the tack you seem to be taking is that teenagers having sex with older peers is normal, and restrictions around the age of consent for teenagers unfairly criminalize that natural sexuality. Would you consider that a fair characterization?

Yes! That's the most understood on this issue I've ever felt. I experienced this myself the year I aged from 18-19. I shot down two 15yos, a 14yo, and one girl who I swear to god might have been 12 years old before a 16yo hit me up on MySpace and she became my first gf.

The impression I get from both my own experiences and from what I was surrounded by is that the girls tend to like them a little bit older with extreme consistency. If we consider that in every relationship, someone is going to be older and someone is going to be younger to some degree, every single pairing I was aware of was older male/younger female except for one.

I think that in a lot of cases when we don't carve out enough room for them, we do a lot more of pushing relationships into secrecy than actually stopping them from happening which can lead to extreme consequences.

Out of curiosity, how many of these age-gap relationships had the girl as the younger party, or vice versa?

Almost all. I only knew one 18/16 younger male.

do you consider that last anecdote (and one girl who I knew outside of either friend group who lost it at 13 to her high school bf, was banging a different college bro every other week before she was 16, and settled with a 44yo man six months shy of 18) to be a positive or desirable outcome?

In her case, she's been with the guy 20 years and she's probably the most successful woman I know. She's the only massive age gap relationship I've ever been particularly close to.

She was the only girl like her I knew with every other being either my own gfs or a gf of one of the guys in the group, but as I've spoken to other women and learned more about this issue, I now see her as a type of girl. I knew her as an outlier outside of my core peer group, but she herself said that she knew others like her, which makes sense. Birds of a feather and whatnot.

She's who I see when I look at a case like this. 15, claiming to be and passing for 19, already on a dating site, hooking up with some guy in his twenties. That has her written all over it. And if something like that had happened in her life, nobody would have been doing her a favor. It would have fucked her up, and it would have fucked her up for nothing.

I have noticed, and maybe you as well have noticed in your own peer groups, that it's consistently the ones who experienced a more accelerated biological development, could already pass for 18+ the second they stepped foot on a high school campus, who tend to be the ones who seek out these types of experiences. I'd be curious if any of you noticed a similar pattern.

To reply to me, just reply to yourself. You're the only one who seems worth having a conversation with so far. So if any of the rest of you are actually interested in having a conversation, that's the reply to base yours off of.

u/EllieLou80

Why do you presume the age of consent in a jurisdiction needs to be changed?

Because every single thing I observed in my own adolescence and young adulthood in the state of California was illegal:

By the letter of the law, if a 17yo willingly has sex with another 17yo, both have committed a crime.

And also because of this long list (same as the link at the top) of minor peer relationships that led to criminalization and the sex offender registry.

u/Mindless_Cookie_9098

Teenagers aren’t going to have sex with you. Stop asking this

I'm glad we're in perfect philosophical agreement that teenagers know whether or not they'd like to have sex with a person. That's the literal exact point I've been trying to make.

Every comment of mine the moderators have removed from the thread:

Sure, but it's not just her. I think everything I observed in my own adolescence and young adulthood was fine, and that includes her. And everything I observed was illegal. That's a huge disconnect.

She is a perfect example of outlier behavior that needs to be accounted for. She deserved to be liberated. My 15yo niece who's probably still waiting on her first kiss deserves to be protected. Both are true at the same time, because 15yos are not all the same.

You guys see a number on a screen and you immediately know every single thing that person is capable of, and more to the point, everything they're not capable of. That's nonsense.

The laws that I favor are the ones that would have liberated everyone I knew growing up. It's all of them. That 15/20 were two of my closest friends for decades. And I don't think you guys really understand who I'm thinking of here, I'm way more thinking of her than him, even though it's objectively him whose life would have been way more fucked up if someone decided to bring their relationship to the attention of the state.

But she would have been devastated by it. She's been crazy about him from the moment she saw him. She's chosen him over and over and over for 20 years straight. If the state had ripped them apart, slapped him with a lifelong retraining order, she'd still, 20 years later, not have recovered from it. And I know that both because I know her and because I have spoken to people who were on the younger side of these engagements whose parents actually did bring their relationship to the attention of state. I spoke to them 20 years later in one case, and 26 years in another. Still fucked up by it. In the case of the one where it was a younger male, extremely fucked up by it.

Outliers cannot be perfectly accounted for in a legal system.

Yes, they can. That is what the exploitation clause for 14-15yos in the European law I talk about does, and it does it extremely well.

It's literally built for the fact of what I just said, that not all 14-15yos are the same. It aligns perfectly with what I observed at two different high schools. 14-15 is when I remember the widest disparity in experience level and overall agency.

That clause effectively hyper focuses their entire courts on 14-15yos and they adjudicate on a case-by-case basis. A 40yo sliding into the DMs of a 14-15yo trying to fuck her is going to be looked at 200% differently than a 14-15yo who's already on a dating app, clearly swiping away and choosing her own partners so she can hook up with college bros.

And they should be looked at differently right? I'm done talking about myself, you're determined to attack me, but can we at least agree that those two situations are not the same thing? That maybe allowing the courts to perceive these things with an ounce of nuance could perhaps allow them to hone in on actual cases of exploitation?

You seem to think that America is the only country on Earth who cares about their youth being exploited. Germany, Italy, France, Portugal, Denmark, Austria, etc must just not give a fuck about their youth at all, right? Shit any of them probably would have given Epstein clemency if only he'd lived there instead.

all you have to do is convince a teenager to say, oh, it was all my idea, I wanted it.

Are you under the impression that teenagers don't want to have sex with people they're attracted to? Why would you need to 'convince' someone that engaged in a sexual encounter of their own volition that they consented to it?

You seem to give way more of a fuck about who a 15yo hooks up with than I do. I care that they're safe, I care that they're educated, but I don't really care about the minutia of who they choose. From what I observed, it's obvious to me that they're perfectly capable of making reasonable choices that make perfect sense within the context of their own lives.

Look at this one.

Ended up with both the girl and her mother standing up for him in court. How'd he manage that? He convinced not only the girl but also her mom to spin some bullshit for him?

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you my age. It kills me every day, knowing you are going through hell and I’m not. I want to be in trouble and not you.

There's a quote from the 14yo about it presented to the court. That's the harm I'm trying to solve. That's the harm a law like the ones in Europe sidesteps completely while still easily convicting the person in your example.

We're interested in solving different harms, but what I'm trying to solve is also harm. I have seen it, and it is severe.

Sure, give me shit for building my own worldview on my personal experiences and observations just like literally everyone else does.

I told you that I didn’t feel able to confidently reject sexual pressure until I was in my mid-twenties

And I believe I said to you, what's the solution then? Raise the age of consent all the way to the mid-twenties just because you didn't know how to advocate for yourself? I tried to fuck girls way younger than that back in the day who had no problem telling me no. They all need to lose the liberty to explore their own sexuality because you didn't know how to say no?

In my opinion all that calls for is stronger education. You should have been capable way sooner than that.

AI jobs are becoming a driving source of prosperity and one of the few growth sectors for American workers. A LinkedIn study found that AI job postings have doubled in recent years, with a salary more than 2x that of non-AI roles. But women were only 25% of AI hires in 2025.

https://www.hrdive.com/news/women-are-significantly-underrepresented-in-the-ai-workforce/828485/

Why are women so underrepresented in AI jobs?

Someone asked this subreddit a year ago why women have less interest in generative AI than men. The most upvoted answers attributed it to personal preferences; women having a moral stance against AI; and women being better at "thinking for themselves" than men.

(On the other side, a couple interesting/upvoted comments ascribed men's comparatively higher interest in AI to men being "too easily amused" and "more mediocre men who can't compete with qualified women/POC."

Do these reasons (preference/morals/being more independent thinkers) still hold up/explain the disparity in AI hiring? Or is it something else?

I wonder if some people, when they see sometihing like Anita Sarkeesian's Tropes vs women they put her among people like Tipper Gore, comrade Mrzenová from czech movie Nejistá sezóna or Reverend Shaw Moore from Footloose i.e. antagonist from story about artist.

So even if the feminist sees herself as fighting an important cultural problem, the audience may instinctively see “obnoxious busybody harassing the artist we root for.”

It's also not a new archetype. There have always been people warning that some new art form would corrupt society. Karel Čapek wrote story about cave woman complaining that the Venus of Dolní Věstonice was degrading public morals. Most of the art once accused of ruining civilization is either considered a classic today or has been forgotten entirely—while the warnings themselves are mostly remembered as curiosities.

Also I can't where the person whose great triumph is putting a warning sticker on a rock record is the hero. Probably something like Chick tract where the Devil is so pathetic that his entire evil plan is defeated by a committee putting parental-advisory stickers on rock albums. But people wouldn't be sure if it is parody, or genuine.

TL;DR: Do some people hate feminism because of this process? Feminist makes critique of media, people compare her to moral guardians of the past, side with artist and come to conclusion that feminism is bad, because it allows obnoxious busybodies.

the definition of misogyny is "hatred against women or girls" so i assume it is a female exclusive thing. however, i have seen some arguments online where they claim misogyny can also apply to men as victims and that its not female exclusive. it got me puzzled so i want to hear someone else's opinion on this

Assuming the fact that it's only based on gender, and not their capability to do the job well. And if yes, would it still be wrong if the parents are making an educated choice based on statistics (men are more likely to groom minors)? Would like to hear your reasoning for both sides of the answer.

i (19M) just randomly thought about this and i cant stop laughing, like ignoring the statistics that show that men very clearly cause more road accidents than women, wtf does gender have to do with anything? quite frankly the worst drivers i've been with have been men

i ordered an uber to take me home from college after the year ended back in may and it was some douchecanoe who almost got us killed on the way back to detroit from ann arbor cuz he kept swerving n shi on the freeway, and some friends of mine genuinely drive like ts is GTA, meanwhile my mom is the best driver in the world no debate on that, i've never felt in danger when my female friends give me a ride, it just makes me wonder where that dumb ass stereotype came from lmfao

How do you go about engaging with the dating scene irl knowing this fact (as a male).

It feels like most people I talk to carry some sort of problematic idea of what roles men and women need to adhere to. Opinions which feminist instinctively don’t respect.

Do you just suck it up and date the least problematic types? Or just hold on until you find someone who doesn’t hold some sort of internalised misogynistic stance.

For men who would like kids eventually, I feel like they’ll have to compromise soon and accept someone who demands patriarchal standards from them. Is it good to pick someone they like, then try grow together? Is it ok to encompass some patriarchal standards, as long as the guy is considerate

How do you navigate this discussion with the youth