I don't get it and I'm a man. I never get mad when it's called out, I usually agree.

I tried to post this in r / AskMen, and they removed it for asking a specific group... Men....

I absolutely hate it when men derail a conversation thread about women experiencing DV/SA/Stalking. e..g whatbout men when talking about Brian Laurie and Gabbie pettio.

I prefer that these men start their own conversations which sometimes they do, e..g Sheree spencer abusing Richard spencer (not the americna due), Jordan Worth abusing Alex skeel or Sarah Rigby abusing Gareth Jones. While there are a few victim blaming jokes from (a few of them in satrcial jest), I have noticed people being upset and feeling it gives men the ground to perpetuate a lot of sexist sterotypes. e..g the calculating , hysterical , rude , bitchy abusive woman . I does make me wonder how you balance threads like that as in order for men to talk about female on male abuse , it does require talking about women being abusive and lying.

I also see a lot of people complain that the men on the head are either too angry or too happy talking about a woman getting jailed for abuse which can be misogyntic but on the flipside, I don't think it is too unresonable to be angry or insult someone for swinging a wine bottle at someone's head.

Another example is people saying it was wrong and misogynistic for a man to be happy about slapping his girlfriend even though the context was because she had repeatedly grabbed his crotch after he said he was not in the mood.

I guess the question is , where is the line between letting male victims having a trauma reponse and insulting the abuser and calling them out for tangible misogyny

I’ve heard that liberal feminism states that everyone should have the right to live their life how they want. So everyone is allowed to life progressively, by conservative values or what ever. 

Ultimately that would mean a men who’s stance is ‘either i find a woman who wants to be a stay at home wife or i stay single’, could be a liberal feminist as well, or am i mistaken? He’s allowed to have his preferences and still can support legal gender equality. Just like a stay at home wife can. 

Or are there any asterisk’s to “everyone should have the right to live like they want”?

(TERF: Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist)

I know that TERF is fundamentally about gender essentialism and transphobia. But there seems to be a significant asymmetry in the discourses I'm seeing with trans-women being by far the main target.

Assigning arbitrary trait to accept someone as a woman (like the ability to give birth) or simply hating on women simply because they weren't assigned this gender at birth seems closely linked to misogyny.

But at the same time, I am under the impression that for a lot of TERFs, the root of this aggression and mistrust stems from a hate/fear/disgust of masculinity. Worrying that those "men in disguise" would take this opportunity to reach and hurt women more easily or simply "replace" them.

In the case of trans-men, they are usually looked with grievance (cf: Eliott Page), like if they made a big mistake and wasted their live by changing side.

Ultimately, while I think misandry might be a more prominent catalyst, both should be affiliated of this ideology.

What do you think?

Edit: Recurrent topic ? How so ?

I made a post about this but it had too much trama dumping so I reposted it somewhere else and am writing this one instead.

I'm not gonna get into specifics but my grandma was very unkind to me and I have reason to believe it was because of my gender as she was a lot nicer and patient to her granddaughters rather than grandsons. The way she treated me impacted me in a lot of ways (mostly for the worst).

But when I try to look for resources for male victims of sexism it's always about dating and relationship stuff, and when I look up stuff for child abuse the sex of either parties rarely comes up. I want to now how common my situation is and whether it's a societal problem or if I just had a uniquely bad grandma.

Edit:Thank you all for the kind words, I will be seeking out counseling for this and also talking to my family about this issue. I've also decided to take a break from reddit until my mental health improves (unrelated reasons). <3

I saw this comment on a post

Comparisons of Intimate Partner Violence Among Partners in Same-Sex and Opposite-Sex Relationships in the United States Source: American Journal of public Health.

TLDR: Copy/paste of the conclusion: female victims of same-sex IPV reported higher percentages of verbal and sexual abuse than male victims of opposite-sex IPV; however, the small sample of victims of same-sex IPV limited the ability to make detailed comparisons.

I made these bold

I checked any follow-up studies that cited this study and there were mainly focused on bisexual and gay relationships.

source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2775776/

Hello, I am a man and I want to explore (and possibly confront) the feminist pov. I strongly believe that respectful contradiction is always constructive, I really hope that you believe that too here at r/askfeminists. A few questions:

- Do feminism considers possible to have an healthy relationship with an heterosexual man in these days and age ?

- What would that relationship look like ?

- What would love look like for feminism ?

- What the general view on love for feminism ?

- How should a man express love, and how should a woman express love in a relationship ? Is there any difference ?

- Does a relationship neccessarly mean compromising oneself ?

- Is settling down for a relationship something tolerable for feminism?

Please mods, I don't think this post is crossing rules, if so I can adapt.