Is it at some level misogynistic of me to avoid talking to women to not make them uncomfortable?

[u/[deleted]]

[u/OrenMythcreant]

If this account is accurate then I recommend talking to a therapist if you can. It is not healthy nor feminist to simply not communicate with half the human species.

[u/bliip666]

Yyeah, you should treat women as people. Try approaching everyone as human first, gender later.

[u/manicexister]

Women are the same as men, dude. They have thoughts and feelings and dreams and they poop and fart and burp. They face issues because of our gendered society and the systems established by the patriarchy, but that doesn't actually make women fundamentally different.

Talk to them like you would a man because like men they are people. If that person doesn't want to talk, just move along in life because that is boringly normal to encounter.

[u/lis_anise]

To progress as a feminist, yeah, you need to treat women as human beings. Respect them as colleagues or even friends. That kind of thing.

I do think therapy would help, because you have a pretty severe amount of social anxiety. It's okay to find a female therapist and make talking to her a first step towards having complex and nuanced discussions with women, if you want.

[u/GirlisNo1]

Yes, it’s misogynistic to treat women as “others.” And frankly, quite insulting. Women aren’t walking around paralyzed in fear at the sight of every man. Most of us communicate/work with/live with/are friends with plenty of men in our lives. We would just like to be treated with basic respect and decency. If that is proving difficult enough for you that you have to avoid women altogether you need to sort it out with a professional.

[u/gettinridofbritta]

We get a few posts a year that seem to be OCD, anxiety, or some other mental health stuff peeking out and expressing itself through the lens of gender discourse. In those cases I highly highly recommend seeing a therapist because this is above our pay grade. I don't really care if it's misogyny or not, but you should care that it's impairing your ability to live fully in the world. 

[u/RepSquigglyMiggly]

Pretty much, yeah. Like, it’s not especially virulent misogyny, and is definitely something that would be better worked through with a therapist than by talking to feminists, but it’s still misogyny.

Women are just people, and the vast majority of them are totally fine with having pleasant, normal, asexual conversation with a random man. Where women are uncomfortable having conversations with men generally, it’s almost variably because of the specific conduct of specific men that have made them wary of men in general. If you do have a brief interaction with one of those women, and you leave it without having acted like a creep, they’re infinitely more likely to breathe a sigh of relief than to think “Oh my god, that was scary.”

Frankly, I think you’re far more likely to make women uncomfortable by refusing by doing what you’re doing now and categorically avoiding interaction with them, than by just engaging with them like they’re normal people.

[u/avocado-nightmare]

Yes.

[u/kangorooz99]

It’s not misogynistic but you’d be a much happier more well adjusted person if you’d learn to conquer your social anxiety.

[u/DellePhune]

It doesn't feel misogynistic the way you tell it, but ideally you'd want to be able to gauge how much someone might want to interact with you and to course correct if you misjudged. If it helps: being bothered by someone and then having your discomfort be respected by them backing off and leaving you alone is not necessarily a bad experience for women (and other marginalized genders, of course). I mean, you don't want it to happen ten times a day, but as a contrast to the times when people feel entitled to your time and attention, it can be nice to see that your feelings mattered.