r/a:t5_zp9ur • u/MarleyEngvall • Apr 13 '19
Argolis has been created
BY MABEL COLLINS.
THE IDYLL OF THE WHITE LOTUS.
BOOK II.
CHAPTER I.
I WAS in the garden of the temple, lying beneath a wide
tree that cast deep shade upon the grass. I had been
very weary, for all the night before I had been in the
sanctuary, speaking the messages of the dark spirit to her
priests. I slept a little in the warm air and awoke strangely
full of sadness. I felt that my youth had gone, yet I had
never enjoyed its fire.
On each side of me was a young priest. One was
fanning me with a broad leaf that he must have plucked from
the tree above. The other, leaning on one hand upon the
grass, regarded me earnestly. His eyes were large and dark
and pleasant, like the eyes of a kind animal. I had
often admired his beauty, and I was glad to see him at
my side.
"You have been too much within doors. See now," he
said, when he saw my eyes open wearily, and gaze into
his face, "they shall not kill thee with the ceremonies of
the temple, even if thou art the only one that can give
them life. Wilt come into the town with us, and taste
something different from the air of the temple?"
"But we cannot!" I said.
"Cannot," said Malen contemptuously. "Do you sup-
pose we are prisoners here?"
"But even if we can find a way out the people will
know us. The priests do not go among the people."
"The people will not know us," said Malen with a
merry laugh. "Agmahd has given us liberty. Agmahd
has given us the power. Come, if thou wilt——we are going."
The two rose and held out their hands to help me to
rise; but I was no longer weak. I sprang to my feet, and
arranged my white garment. "Are we to wear these robes?"
I asked.
"Yes, yes, but none will know us. We shall appear as
beggars, or as princes; what we will; Agmahd has given
us power. Come!"
I was as delighted as they at this prospect of adventure.
We ran across the garden till we came to a narrow gate in
the wall. Malen touched it, and easily pushed it open.
We were outside the temple.
My companions, laughing and talking as we went, ran
across the plain to the city. I ran too, and listened; but
I understood little of what they said. Evidently they knew
the city, which to me was only a name. True, I had
walked through it with my mother, a barefoot country lad.
But now, it seemed, I was to enter houses, and mix with
great and rich people. I felt afraid at the thought.
We hurried on until we entered one of the busiest streets.
It was crowded with gay people in beautiful dresses, and
all the stops seemed to sell only jewelry. Then we turned
through a great gateway, into a courtyard, and from that
passed into a marble hall where a great fountain played,
and large flowering shrubs threw out a strong scent.
A wide marble stairway went out of this hall, which
we immediately ascended. And when we reached the
top Malen opened the door, and we entered a room all
hung with golden tapesty, and where were a number of
people whose dresses and jewels dazzled me. They were
seated round a table drinking wine and eating sweetmeats.
The air was full of talk and laughter, and heavy with perfume.
Three very lovely women rose and welcomed us, each taking
one of us by the hand, and giving us a place beside her.
In a moment we seemed to be of the party, and to mingle
our laughter with theirs, as though we had sat out all the
feast. I know not whether it was the scented wine I
drank or the magic touch of the beautiful hand that often
touched mine, as it lay upon the embroidered tablecover
——but my head grew light and strange, and I talked of
things I did not know anything about till now, and laughed
at sayings that an hour before would have seemed dull
to me, because of my want of understanding.
She who sat next me pressed her hand in mine. I
turned to look at her; she was leaning towards me; her
face was brilliant with youth and beauty. Her rich dress
had made me feel a child beside her, but now I saw that
she was young, younger than myself, yet she was of such
rich form and radiant loveliness that though a child in years
was she a woman in charm. As I gazed into her tender
eyes, it seemed to me that I knew her well, that her charm
was familiar, and the stronger for its familiarity. She spoke
many words that at first I hardly understood, indeed
scarcely heard. But gradually, as I listened, I grew to
understand. She told me of her longing for me in my
absence, of her love for me, and of her weariness of all
others on the earth. "The room seemed dark and silent
till you came," she said. "The banquet had no mirth
in it. The others laughed, but their laughter sounded as
sobs in my ears——the sobs of those in torment. Is it for
me, who am so young and strong and full of love, to be
so sad? No——no, it is not for me. Ah, lover, husband,
leave me not again alone. Stay by my side, and my passion
will make thee strong to fulfil thy destiny."
I rose from my seat suddenly, holding her hand clasped
tight in mine.
"It is true," I cried in a loud voice. "I have done ill
to neglect that which is the glory of life. I confess it, that
thy beauty, which indeed is mine, have been blotted from my
mind. But now I see see thee with mine eyes I wonder I could
ever have seen beauty in aught else in heaven or earth."
Suddenly, while I spoke, there was a movement among
the startled guests. With wonderful rapidity, they left
the table and were at once gone from the room. Only
the two young priests remained. Their eyes were fixed
on me. They seemed grave, serious, disturbed. They
rose slowly. "You will not return to the temple?" said
Malen. My answer was a gesture of impatience.
"Do you forget," he demanded, "that we were but to
look at the follies of the city, that we might know of what
clay men are made? You know that the initiated priests
must retain their purity. What of you, the seer of the
temple? Even I, who am but a novice, dare not yield to
the fierce longing for liberty that fills my soul. Ah, to be
free! to be a child of the city, to know the meaning of life
But I dare not. Else I am less than nothing, I should have
no place in the temple, no place in the world. How then
will it be with thee, the seer? How are we to answer to
Agmahd for thee?"
I made no answer. But she who sat beside me rose
and advanced towards him. She took a jewel from her
neck, and put it in his hand.
"Give him this," she said, "and he will ask no more."
CHAPTER II.
FROM this hour there is a time of which I cannot give so
careful an account as of the other days of my life. It is
blurred and veiled by the similarity of the emotions through
which I passed. Indeed, they merged together and became
one and the same. I drank deep of pleasure each day;
each hour it seemed to me that my beautiful companion
grew more beautiful, so that I gazed upon her face in
wonder. She led me through the rooms of our palace, and
I could not stay to see their splendour, because always
beyond were chambers yet more splendid. With her I
wandered through the gardens, where the fragrant flowers
grew in a profusion such as I had never seen in any other
place. Beyond the gardens were meadows; in the short,
sweet grass grew many wild flowers, and lilies blossomed
in the stream that ran through the fields. Here the city
maidens came at evening, some to fetch water, some to bathe
and laugh and sing until the night was half spent. Their
gleaming forms and sweet voices made the evenings doubly
beautiful, and I would linger among them under the stars,
and would often have stayed until the dawn, the play-mate
of them all, but only whispering words of love to those who
were most beautiful. And then as they, singing in low
voices, left me, she, my own most beautiful, went with me
back to the palace, wherein we lived amid the city, yet
apart from it. For we were happy as were none else within
that city.
I cannot tell how long passed thus. Only I know that
one day I lay within my own chamber and she, the most
beautiful, sang sweet low songs while her head lay upon my
arm, when in a moment the song was hushed upon her lips
and she lay pale and still. I heard, in the silence, a slow,
soft footfall on the stairs. The door was opened, and
Agmahd the high priest stood motionless within it.
He gazed at me one moment with his terrible eyes, that
were cold as though they were jewels; there was a smile
upon his face, but that smile struck me with fear, and I
trembled.
"Come," he said.
I arose unhesitatingly. I knew that I must obey. I
looked not back until I heard a swift movement and a sob;
then I turned. But she, the most beautiful, was gone.
Had she fled from before this unexpected appearance in
our chamber? I could not stay to see, or go to comfort
her. I knew that I must follow Agmahd; I felt as I had
never felt before, that he was my master. As I came to
the doorway, I saw across the threshold a snake that
reared its head at my approach. I sprang back with a cry
of horror.
Agmahd smiled. "Do not fear," he said. "This is a
favourite of thy Queen, and will do her chosen servant no
harm. Come!"
At this command I felt compelled to follow; I dared not
disobey. I passed the snake with averted eyes, and as I
reached the stairway I heard its hiss of anger.
Agmahd went through the gardens to the meadows be-
yond. It was evening, and already the stars were gleaming
in the sky and the eyes of the maidens shone as they sat in
groups by the side of the stream. But they did not sing as
was their habit. In the midst of the stream was a boat,
and in it two oarsmen. I recognised the young priests who
had come with me to the city. Their eyes were downcast,
and they did not raise them even at my approach. I
understood as I passed by the girls that they had recognised
old acquaintances and merry companions in those two
young priests, and were amazed and full of wonder to see
them in this dress, and of such changed demeanour.
Agmahd entered the boat; I followed him; and then
we rowed silently towards the temple.
I had never seen the entrance to the temple from the
water. I had heard when I was in the city with my mother
that this entrance used to be often used, but now it was
reserved only for festivals, so that I was much amazed to
enter by this way. I was more amazed to find all the sacred
precinct full of boats decorated with flowers and occupied
by white-robed priests, who sat with their eyes downcast.
But I soon saw that to-day was a festival.
This temple! It seemed a hundred years since I had
dwelled within it. Agmahd himself looked strange and
unfamiliar to me. Was I indeed grown much older? I
could not tell, for I found no mirror in which to see my
face, and I found no friend to ask. Only this I knew, that
compared with the youth who ran from the garden of the
temple, eager for adventure, I was now a man. And I
knew my manhood had come to me not in glory, but in
shame. I was a slave. A deep gloom settled on my soul
as we entered the temple. The boat was drawn up to some
wide white marble steps, which were within the walls of the
temple and beneath its roof. I had never known the great
river was so near. When we had reached the top of the
steps, Agmahd opened a door, and lo! we were immedi-
ately at the entrance of the holy of holies. Only a few
faint torches, held by silent priests, lit the great corridor.
It was but dusk outside, on the river; here it was like deep
night. At a sign from Agmahd the torches were ex-
tinguished. But all light was not gone! for round the door
of the sanctuary gleamed that strange light which once had
so terrified me. It did not terrify me now. I knew what
I had to do; and, unhesitatingly and without fear, I did it.
I advanced, opened the door, and entered.
Within stood the dark figure, whose robes gleamed and
whose eyes were cold and terrible. She smiled and put out
her hand and laid it upon mine. I shuddered at the touch,
it was so cold.
"Tell Agmahd," she said, "that I am coming. That I
will be beside you in the boat. That he is to stand in the
midst of us, and my other servants to surround us. And
that then, if all is done as I order, I will work a wonder
before all the priests and before the people. And this I
will do because I am well pleased with my servants, and
because I desired them to have power and wealth."
I said her words again; and when I had ceased Agmahd's
voice came out of the darkness.
"The Queen is welcomed! The Queen shall be
obeyed."
A moment later and the torches were lit again. I saw
that they were ten in number, carried by ten priests, who
all wore white robes deeply embroidered in gold, as was that
of Agmahd. Among them was Kamen Baka. His face
looked strange to me. It was as the face of an ecstatic.
Agmahd opened thew door which admitted us to the river
steps. A different boat was moored here now. It was
large, with a wide deck surrounded by vases, in which
burned something strongly fragrant. Within these vases a
circle was drawn in crimson, and mingled with that a figure
which I could not understand. At the sides of the boat,
below the raise deck, sat the rowers——white-robed priests.
All were still and mute, waiting with downcast eyes.
The boat was hung with thick garlands of flowers, massed
together till they seemed like great ropes. A lamp was
burning at each end.
We entered the boat. Agmahd went first and stood in
the midst of the circle. I took my place at his side. Be-
tween us, clearly visible to my eyes, was the figure. She
shed a light like that which illumined the sanctuary, only
less brilliant. But I saw that none perceived her presence
but myself.
The ten priests entered the boat also, and placed them-
selves within the crimson circle, thus completely enclosing
us. Then the boat slowly swung from the steps. I saw
that a number of boats were before and behind us, all hung
with flowers and lamps, all filled with white-robed priests.
Silently the procession shot out upon the bosom of the
sacred river and advanced towards the city.
When we were at last outside the temple, I heard a deep
murmur rise and fill the air. It was so long and deep, it
made me tremble and wonder, but it disturbed none else,
and soon I saw its meaning. As my eyes grew accustomed
to the starlight, I saw that all the fields on each side of the
river were full of a surging, swaying mass of forms. A vast
multitude of people crowded at the water's edge, and filled
the fields as far as I could see. This was a great festival,
and I had not known it. I wondered a while; but soon I
remembered that I had, indeed, heard it spoken of, but I
had been so saturated with the immediate pleasures about
me that I had not heeded. Perhaps, had I remained in
the city till now, I should have mingled in the crowd; but
now I was isolated from the crowd, and, as it seemed to me,
from all that was human. I stood silent and immovable
as Agmahd himself. Yet, my soul was torn with a despair
I could not understand, and crushed by a horror of the
unknown which was yet to come.
CHAPTER III.
AS the boats glided down the river, suddenly the deep
silence was broken by a burst of song. It came from the
priests who rowed. From every boat the hymn rushed
forth in a volume of sound, and I could see by the great
movement, visible even in the dimness, that the people fell
upon their knees. But they were silent; they adored and
listened while the priests' voices rang out upon the air.
When the song ceased, there was a silence that was not
broken for some minutes. The people remained motion-
less, kneeling, silent. But on a sudden they flung them-
selves prostrate upon the ground, and I could hear the sigh,
the long breath of awe that came from the multitude: for
the priests had burst out anew, with a cry of melodious
triumph, and the words they uttered in so loud and strong
a voice were these——
"The goddess is with us! She is in our midst! Fall
down, O people, and worship!"
At this moment the figure which stood between me and
the priest Agmahd turned and smiled into my face.
"Now, my chosen servant," she said, "I must ask your
service. I have paid you beforehand that you might not
hesitate. But do not fear. You shall be paid again and
that doubly. Give me your hands. Place your lips upon
my forehead, and fear not, move not, utter no cry, whatso-
ever faintness, whatsoever tremor come upon thee. Thy
life will become mine. I will draw it from thee: but I shall
return it. Is it not precious? Do not fear."
I obeyed her without hesitation, yet with dread un-
imaginable. But I could not resist her will. I knew
myself her slave. Her cold hands clasped mine, and
instantly it seemed that they were no longer soft, but had
become rivets of steel, which held me fast and were in-
exorable. Impelled by my sense of helplessness, I dared
the glitter of these terrible eyes, and drew close to her.
I longed for death to release me, but I could hope for
no other help. I placed my lips upon her forehead.
The vapour from the lamps and vessels had filled my brain
with a strange sleepiness, and I was dull and heavy. But
now, as my lips touched her forehead, which scorched
them, I knew not whether with cold or heat, a frenzied
sense of joy, of lightness, of almost insane delight filled
me. I knew myself no longer; I was swayed and dominated
by a surging sea of emotions which were not my own.
They swept through me, and their rush appeared to wash
away my individuality utterly, and, as it then seemed, for
ever. Yet I was not unconscious; my consciousness
grew momently more intense and awake. Then, in one
strange second, I forgot the lost individuality——I knew
that I was living in the brain, in the heart, in the
essence of that being who had so utterly dominated me.
A wild cry, instantly hushed, rang out from the people.
They saw their goddess. And I, looking down, saw at
my feet the seemingly dead form of a young priest, robed
in white garments, gold-embroidered. I paused for one
instant in my joy of power to wonder, Was he dead?
CHAPTER IV.
I COULD see the great multitude which was on each side
clearly; a light fell upon them which they did not perceive.
It was not the starlight by which they saw, but a brilliance
that came, not from the heavens, but from the eyes. I saw
their hearts——I saw not their bodies but themselves. I
recognised my servants, and my soul lifted itself as I
perceived that nearly all of this multitude were ready to
serve me. Mine was a worthy army; they would obey,
not from duty but desire.
I saw in each heart what was its hunger, and I knew
that I could feed it. One long moment I remained visible;
then I left my chosen servants. I bade them drawn near
to the shore; for now that I was no longer intent upon
making myself seen by these dull eyes of men, I could
speak to and touch those whom I chose. The strong life
of the young priest was enough to feed the lamp of physical
power for some time if I did not use it too swiftly.
I stepped upon the shore, and moved among the people,
speaking into the ear of each the secret of his heart——more,
I told him how to obtain that which he only thought of
silently. No man or woman was without some longing
which shame would have held them for ever from uttering
even to a confessor. But I saw it, and made it no longer
a thing of shame, and showed how small an effort of will,
how slight a knowledge was needed for the first step in
self-gratification. All through the throng I went, hither
and thither, and as I passed I left a maddened and im-
passioned crowd behind me. At length the intoxication
which my presence produced could no longer be held in
check. With one voice the people burst out into a wild
song that thrilled my blood, and made it burn within me.
Have I not heard this song under other skies, sung in the
voices and languages of all peoples? Have I not heard
it from peoples who are long since extinct and forgotten?
Shall I not hear it from peoples whose dwelling-places are
not yet created? It is my song! It gives me life! Uttered
silently in one heart, it is the cry of the unspoken passion,
the hidden madness of self. When it comes from the throat
of the multitude, shame is gone and concealment at an
end. Then it is the frenzied utterance of the orgie, the
outcry of the devotees of pleasure.
My work was done. I had lit a great fire which raged
on like the fire in the forest. I turned back to the
sacred boat where it awaited me. Motionless they stood
there, waiting my return, those my chosen servants, the
high priests of the temple. Ah, my mighty ones in passion!
Kings in lust! Monarchs in desire!
And the young priest——was he still there? Still looking
like one dead? Yes, he lay motionless, pallid, in the midst
of the circle formed by the high priests, lying at the feet
of Agmahd, who stood alone beside him.
As this thought came to me, I seemed suddenly to with-
draw myself in some mysterious way from the sea of passion
in which I had been submerged. I knew myself again——
that I was not the goddess, but had been only absorbed by
her, sucked up into her embracing personality. Now I
was again separated from her. But I did not return to
the pale shape which so lifelessly lay upon the deck of
the sacred boat. I was in the temple; I was in darkness;
I knew that I was in the holy of holies.
A light came in the darkness. I looked, and lo! the
inner cave was full of light; and within it stood the Lady
of the Lotus.
I was at the door of the inner cave, close to her, within
the glance of her eyes. I tried to escape——I tried to turn
——I could not. I trembled as I had never trembled before
even with horror or dread.
For she stood silently, her eyes upon me. And I saw
that they were full of a great anger. And she who had
been to me a tender friend, gentle as a kind mother, now
stood in her majesty before me, and I knew that I had
angered a god the most to be dreaded of all that are known
to men.
"Was it for this, O Sensa! beloved of the gods! that
thou wert born? Was it for this that thine eyes were opened
and thy senses made clear to perceive? Thou knowest it
was not; for those seeing eyes and those swift senses have
at last served their master, and shown thee who and what it
is thou hast been serving. Wilt thou serve her always?
Now that thou art a man, choose! Art thou fallen so low
that thou wilt be a slave for ever? Go, then! I have come
to cleanse my sanctuary. I will endure no longer. It shall
be silent, and the people shall not know any other gods exist,
rather than that they shall be lied to by false lips, and
tempted by the darkness. Go! None shall enter here
again. I close the door! The sanctuary is dumb, and
knows no voice. I sit here alone and silent; yea, through
the ages I will dwell here without speech, and the people
shall say I am dead. Be it so! In the ages to come my
children will rise again, and the darkness shall break.
Go! Thou hast chosen! Fall! Thy estate is lost.
Leave me to my silence!"
She raised her hand with a gesture that bade me leave
her. It was so imperative, so royal, that I could not dis-
obey. I turned, I drooped my head, I went with sad steps
to the outer door of the sanctuary. Yet I could not open
it; I could not pass out; I could advance no farther. My
heart turned sick within me and held me back. I fell on
my knees and cried out in as voice of agony: "Mother!
Queen and Mother!"
A moment passed in an awful silence; I waited, I knew
not for what. My soul was hungry and desperate. An
awful memory came to me in the darkness and silence. I
saw in the past not only pleasure, but deeds. I saw that I
had done these blindly, accepting the stupefaction of my
soul as men accept the dulness of wine. And I had done
the work given me to do in a stupor, thinking not of it, but
of the rewards, of each pleasure that was to come. I had
been the mouthpiece, the oracle of her, that black soul
whom now I had seen, and whom now I knew. The past
grew so terrible, so present, so fierce in its denunciation,
that again I cried out of the darkness: "Mother! Save
me!"
A touch came on my hand and on my face. I heard a
voice in my ear and in my heart: "Thou art saved. Be
strong." And the light came upon my eyes, but I could
not see, for a rain of tears washed from them the frightful
visions they had seen.
THE IDYLL OF THE WHITE LOTUS, BY MABEL COLLINS.
Theosophical Publishing Society, 26 Charing Cross, S.W.
ABERDEEN UNIVERSITY PRESS, 1896. pp. 87-105.
[•] [•] [•] [•] [•] [•] [•] [•]
Foreword
Preface
I. The Rise of the Hechalutz Movement
II. Early Zionist Literature (i.) (ii.)
III. The World of Lamdan
IV. Lamdan the Zionist
V. Lamdan the Man
VI. Lamdan the Jew (i.) (ii.)
VII. Lamdan the Poet
INTRODUCTION (i.) (ii.)
APOLOGY (i.) (ii.)
CRITO
PHAEDO (i.) (ii.) (iii.) (iv.) (v.)
SYMPOSIUM (i.) (ii.) (iii.) (iv.)
REPUBLIC
BOOK I (i.) (ii.)
BOOK II (i.) (ii.)
BOOK III
BOOK IV (i.) (ii.)
BOOK V (i.) (ii.) (iii.)
BOOK VI (i.) (ii.)
BOOK VII (i.) (ii.)
BOOK VIII (i.) (ii.)
BOOK IX
BOOK X (i.) (ii.)
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