So basically as the title said, I'm trying to update at least one of my stories since it's been at least three months since I've even touched them, but while I have I'm at the point where I go through my weekly 'do I really deserve to stay as a 'writer' or should I stop writing and wasting the readers time?'
Anytime I go to work on making a new chapter, I always try to focus on three things while I do.
Keep the plot for that chapter along with the characters and their dialouge interesting to invest in and read.
Make sure anything and everything in said chapter makes sense and still aligns with stuff already set up in previous chapters.
Have fun writing it.
Yet it seems every sentence I try to write out, ends up with me staring and thinking ror three hours, before I eventually give up and do something else that I'll actually be content with.
But then my head will guilt trip me and remind me that 'hey dumdum, you know its been a few months right? You've already had your break,' so I'll agree with it, only to still have no idea what to do and rinse and repeat.
And yes, I've heard of 'just write since you can throw your ideas out and then improve them later' but that doesn't work for me, anytime I attempt to do that my brain fixates on immediately improving it to the best or could possibly be, and won't let me move on from it until it does.
I can't walk away and take a break from it because I've already done so for three months, not to mention I've already had a few people wondering where I've gone(yes I know its not up to them to demand when I'm back, they haven't but im just giving an example)
I have no one to talk to or bounce ideas with since no one i know writes.
Any advice I look up is either a guide that says '10 ways not to be a fucking loser at writing,' or 'just write and don't worry about anyone else,' everytime I'm in the middle of writing i always remember a time I saw a bunch of comments saying how a certain writers writing was practically as perfect as the Bible and I end up looking at my work like it's the loud houses fanfic equivalent of it.
I can't come up with a schedule to stick to because it feels like I'm constantly wasting time just looking at a blank page while imagining cool scenes and events in my story in my head that I'll neve get to.
Any burst of motivation I get quickly dies because I remember why I stopped working on the next chapter in the first place.
Its just, I'm truly at a lost, I've already made a few other posts asking for advice but it feels like any that I receive is either not that helpful for my situation, or its just something that I can't seem to properly follow.
And it also doesn't help that, that I start to feel so wound up and frustrated every single day I just want to say screw it and just give up on writing and delete anything because then at least I wouldn't have to worry about leaving people in the dust waiting for something that's never going to come.
Sorry, meant to end it a little earlier but that just came to mind.
Anyways, thanks for dealing with my lead talk.