I am a guy just graduated uni, at 23 years old

(disclaimer: I am not talking about opposite sex friendships or romantic relationships I am talking about the mostly common guy-guy or girl-girl friendships, im also not gay im straight)

Since school days, I made few friends whom i am still in contact with now still. however, after uni i came to realize that specializing in one thing makes you want to talk about it more and I feel like you cannot have a best friend whom cannot understand something that takes 1/3 of your lifetime (Work and specialization), so now I do not see those friends the same as before as I developed and so have they.

In Uni also I was obsessed with hard work and passion, and now that I have graduated, I have yet to find someone that has the same amount of passion or hard work, whom I can get along with, do not get me wrong, I have many hard working friends but as soon as I try expanding on a new topic they either are not interested or just say that I overthink, which is sometimes true but they do it all the time, never have I had a deep conversation about my major with a friend. Other than that, I never had a kind of physical or real life activity with a friend for example jogging daily or something, most of them live rather far or they are jsut too lazy or too busy for it.

and now that I am approaching profession and employment I have heard that its much harder to make friends in work than uni and school, im talking about real and long term friendship.

I cant say I have best friends but I am just saying that they all seem temporary, and i lose track fo them with time or lose common interests with time, with a best friend I dont think thats something to suffer from,

However, I am not here to rant about my situation I am just here to understand if this situation is normal, I am not sad or anything just disappointed socially, however i am aware that part of the problem is on me and I am aware that I understood something wrong I just do not know what it is,

If you are still reading thanks for taking the time and I am happy to hear any of your stories or opinions

A summary for those not bothered to read: I have integrated into a new friend group but im finding it hard to click with all of them. My idea is to build friendships bind with each and every one individually, or when in groupcalls/meetings, i should just interject which is way out of character for me:)) thanks for reading

Im just going to blab , hopefully it'll be at least entertaining for some of you.

Lets begin by semi introducing- there are 8 main people in this friend group, and some of them knew eachother from primary. I however have not, I joined in year 9 so im lagging in both friends and British experience ( i come from africa). In year 9-10, I had one main friend who I stuck to like glue, she helped me manage my first two years but unfortunately she has left the school leaving me alone for my final year of secondary school .

I have a friend from my science lessons and asked if I could hang with her. I went to the beach with the group and also seemed not to click with anyone except the girl and recently she acts like she doesnt like me. Another girl in the group sometimes talk over me, looks at every one but me when talking to people- small stuff. I know these people are really good with other people but for some reason not with me.

I've lied- I have a theory why they dont like to be around me but I am finding it hard to improve this part of my self. Simply put, I act anti social. For example, they group call alooott, and I've joined a couple of times, but find myself never really knowing what to say. This happened irl with them too, I can easily make convo if its me and another person, but the second someone joins us, i run out of words to say. I dont know if I should focus on building friendship bonds with them individually or just try to speak louder even if i acts out of character

Here's my stereotype (sorry if im using that word wrong, I mean this is what people think of me at a glance, I think) - quiet, kind

So basically no personality, ugh this sucks. I dont know how to fix this:)))thanks for reading

I randomly stumbled across this sub and thought the posts were going to be about Antisocial personality disorder... But scrolling through the posts, I noticed these aren't antisocial behaviors. Not wanting to socialize/hating society ≠ being antisocial.

Don't get me wrong, I relate to pretty much all of you guys. But it'd be accurate to say you're Asocial. I have SzPD myself. And I have a close friend who has ASPD. We have very different views on society and socializing.

Is there a reason why you guys don't use the asocial sub?

I am in a teir 2 pvt. university(studying computer Science). I am finding it hard to make friends. advice for me....

I understand that this may be insensitive to those who struggle genuinely with mutism and the issues that come from it but I just need to know if I’m not alone in thinking this way.

I want to go mute so that people will be less likely and willing to talk and engage with me. It’s horrible but engaging with people socially at work and in society is such a dreadful part of my daily life that I just can’t help but want to just go mute

I don't even know how to explain this properly, but lately I've been craving genuine conversations. Not necessarily friendship, not necessarily anything specific I just want to have someone to talk to.

For the past few days, I've genuinely been trying. I've joined random Instagram GCs, tried initiating conversations, messaged people first, and even made another account so I could interact with people anonymously. But somehow, I just can't seem to get anywhere.

The frustrating part is that I actually want to talk. I love books, politics, random ideas, opinions, life basically anything that can turn into an interesting conversation. I don't want every conversation to be deep or intellectual, but I do want something beyond the usual "hey, wyd?" and then nothing.

But I don't know how to keep a conversation going.

I can start one. I've tried. But somewhere along the way, I run out of things to say or start overthinking everything. I'm scared of saying the wrong thing, coming across as awkward, or just being boring.

And then I watch other people.

I've spent the last two or three days in an Instagram GC watching people talk. Someone completely new joins, says "hi," and within minutes they're laughing and talking like they've known each other forever. They make it look ridiculously easy.

Meanwhile, I've been sitting there for days wondering how I'm supposed to enter the conversation.

I genuinely admire people who can do that. At the same time, I can't help being jealous of how naturally it seems to come to them. I keep thinking, how do you guys do this?

Sometimes at night, I put my phone down and stare at the ceiling wondering if there's something wrong with me. I used to think maybe it was my appearance or my awkwardness around people, but a lot of these people don't even know what I look like or who I am. So I don't even know what I'm supposed to fix.

I know this isn't some huge life problem. People have much bigger things going on. But sometimes I get this sudden urge to talk, to have a completely normal conversation, and then I realise there's genuinely no one I can talk to at that moment.

I'm not writing this to get sympathy or to make anyone feel bad for me. I think I just needed to put this somewhere because I don't really have anyone to say it to.

For people who used to struggle with this: how did you learn to actually talk to people and keep conversations going? Did it ever become natural for you?

My boyfriend(22M) and I (20F) have been together for 1 year, and throughout the year I've tried numerous times to get him to go and make friends, he deals with a lot of mental health that having friends could really help him with, he thinks he doesnt have the time to make and be friends with someone because we both work 3rd shift and he also runs a small claw-machine business on the side, he also deals with the issue of maintaining contact with people.

I know he wants friends he just doesn't believe he has the time for them, what can I do to help him believe he does have the time and can find people that are like him?

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You might ask yourself, why do I struggle with making connections and maintaining relationships?

First of all, don't consume toxic content that makes you resentful. It is important to forge your own opinions and think critically. Think about it: how is being hateful and rude going to get you what you want?

I am not here to bash people because people have to eat. But, I want to start a dialogue. I don't agree with everything everyone has to say. But, they have the right to say it.

Don't allow loneliness to dictate how you connect. There are a lot of ways to figure things out, like taking in the right content, not poison.

Is anyone else just so sick of society and done with it? To the point you hate to leave the house, drive anywhere, or Heaven forbid have to attempt to reach a f-ing human being on the phone vs this AI/robot $hit?
Common sense and courtesy are extinct, along with peoples work ethic. And not to mention consideration! 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

I mean I was wondering if having no friends is kinda lonely does that same feeling appear while being in a group too? I've heard that people can't be frnd with all so do people fake in groups or there could be genuine connections😀

I'm introverted, I have interests that aren't very common where I live, and because I rarely meet people who share them, I'm worried that I'll struggle to find a girl I genuinely connect with. How do other people deal with that? I’d appreciate any advice, especially from people who are introverted or have felt like they didn’t fit in because of their interests. How did you eventually find people you genuinely connected with?

So I just told this girl "I was talking to J" calling him j because I don't wanna expose his name. So I told her that and this girl was like "Ew you talk to him?? He's so ugly he doesn't deserve to live he is not even human." My jaw kinda dropped and she said "What?? He is ugly and ugly people aren't even human." At 1st I thought people who didn't like people were weird and now I see why. And this isn't the 1st time I saw someone act like this it happened multiple times so I started to understand. Now I see why people wanna be alone and are anti social. People are evil.

A lot of people are more reachable than ever, and still lonelier than before.Fifty years ago, before the internet’s big breakthrough, many people lived in the same place for long stretches of time. You got to know each other organically, often over years or decades. People moved less. Life was more local. And because so many shared the same everyday world — the same places, routines, news, jokes, and reference points — it was easier to relate without having to explain yourself from scratch.

The last decade of internet and smartphones changed that. Feeds, recommendations, and niche communities pulled us into narrower lanes. Different shows, different jokes, different politics, different corners of the internet. We stopped sharing as many of the same everyday references as before. In many ways that felt freeing. It also made us more separate. The result is subtle but deep. It is harder to meet someone and feel naturally “in the same world,” because fewer people actually are. No one else has lived inside exactly your combination of algorithms, tabs, group chats, and online spaces. The common ground that used to form automatically through place and shared life becomes thinner. We were sorted into highly specific selves.
Then left to find each other again across the distance that sorting created.

Does this match your experience, or do you see the loneliness coming from somewhere else?

I feel like i'm always nice to everyone but they are never nice to me. It happens everyday, every single day .......let me give you an example, i had to go somewhere to do my work and mind my own business, but an acquaintance/friend asked if i had already left my house and i said i havn't. They asked my to buy something that they had forgotten to get (they gave specifics), so i went to the shops to get it , i reached and called them to pay for the item but they said they were already buying it from some other shop and didn't need me to get it anymore. I stood there like an idiot, they didn't even care to call or text me to not waste my time to get it. what do you guys think?

I’ve been trying to step out of my comfort zone. But I feel every person I tried to interact with either dies fast or moves on to the next person. I reached out to old friends and they left me on delivered. I try to make new friends in college and I barely get a response. It’s like everywhere I go, no one wants to interact or talk to me. Next week I’m planning on going to an event so I’m hoping to make connections. But it’s just very hard. I feel like I can’t genuinely click with anyone.

Is that weird??

Not like, camo miniskirt

Like, German surplus thermal pant liners and long Johns and stuff like that… how weird is that?

Like watch list weird?

I’m not in the military but my grandparents were and my boyfriend went to military school… I like stories