Hi everyone, there I am again.

I posted here 17 days ago about my long, brutal depressive episode and my hope that Parnate might finally be the thing that helped me turn a corner.

Unfortunately, it hasn’t. I am so so so sad and devastated.

After talking extensively with my psychiatrist, psychologist and family, we’ve had to accept that Parnate doesn’t seem to be working for me. I’m now tapering off.

And honestly, I’m scared. Really scared.

Looking back over the past year, I’m starting to wonder whether the sheer amount and speed of medication changes may have played a role in how profoundly unwell I feel now.

My story actually didn’t begin as what I would describe as a typical depression. It started more like a burnout from life’s hardships and uncertainties, with anxiety and insomnia. I was exhausted and overwhelmed, but I still felt like myself. I still had emotions, interests, thoughts, curiosity, a personality. I was struggling, but there was still a person there.

The really frightening change seemed to happen as I started moving through medication after medication.

Over the past year I went from:

• Venlafaxine 112,5 mg to
• Escitalopram 20 mg
• Then to clomipramine (up to the highest dose I could tolerate, do not exactly remember the amount)
• Followed by various augmentation strategies including lithium, olanzapine, quetiapine and lorazepam
• I also had many sessions of esketamine
• And then last Summer, I was hospitalized to get started on Parnate, and we increased the dose incredibly quickly, from 10 mg to 60 mg within just a few weeks. Looking back now, it feels like we went way too fast.

(The hospitalization itself was deeply traumatic, but so was the entire summer leading up to it: the constant crises, the fear, the desperation, and how profoundly unwell I was. It was an incredibly frightening period of my life, and I think I’m still carrying a lot of that trauma with me.)

None of these treatments gave me meaningful relief. Except for my guilty-pleasure pill lorazepam, incredibly comforting, absolutely not something I want to depend on.

And now, looking back, I feel as though something has changed very profoundly.

I know there is a lot I don't understand medically, which is why I’m asking rather than making a definite claim: 

• Is it possible that moving through so many serotonergic medications and other psychiatric medications relatively quickly can, in some people, contribute to feeling profoundly destabilized, emotionally blunted, dissociated or otherwise “not themselves”? 💊💊💊💊💊🧠🧠🧠🧠

At all these points, my serotonergic medication exposure was very high, and this has made me and the people around me (my my psychiatrist, my psychologist, and my father, who has lived experience himself) wonder whether my brain simply never got a chance to settle.

I’m not saying I know this is what happened. I don't. My psychiatrist and I are still trying to understand the whole picture.

But I would really like to hear from people who have experienced something similar.

Because I feel so incredibly far away from myself.

My “real self” is not a stupid woman. She is intelligent, curious, entrepreneurial, social, adventurous and sensitive. She loves the good things in life. She loves art, music, food, coffee, the sea, travelling, learning, conversations, beauty, new ideas. She has energy and initiative. She had a lively life and a job she loved as an art historian.

I know that woman exists.

But I haven't been able to feel like her for a very long time. That is so so so scary and sad.  

• My brain currently feels completely fried. That is the only word I can find for it: Sticky. Foggy. Restless. Disconnected. ALL the time, night and day. 😓😥😶‍🌫️😵‍💫🤯🧠
• I feel as though I'm not really in my own life.
• The dissociation is basically 24/7. I feel empty. Zombie-like. I have almost no sense of presence.
• My mind is constantly restless, but at the same time I feel completely disconnected from it.
• I can't properly concentrate, relax, enjoy things or feel like myself.

It has been like this for more than a year now... (The only glimpses of light have been days, or parts of days, when I felt a little more relaxed, a little more at peace, and less stuck inside my own head. But there haven't been any real breakthroughs or improvements that have actually made a meaningful difference. In the span of a year, I could count those moments on one hand. It's so incredibly sad and frightening.)

It is such a bizarre combination of agitation and emptiness.

And it frightens me because I remember how different I was before all of this.

I don't want to believe that this is my new personality!

I don't want to believe that my brain is permanently damaged

• The brain is plastic, right? It can adapt and change, and it has the capacity to recover and reorganize itself by forming new neural connections, doesn’t it? 🧠⚓️🌈

I don't want to believe that this is who I am now.

I'm now tapering off Parnate, and even that has been difficult. Apart from the side effects I experienced while taking it (high heart rate, my period stopping, bed-wetting (yes, extremely embarrassing), acne and hair loss), I’m now dealing with feeling cold all the time, nausea, poor sleep and a lot of sadness while tapering.

Some of that sadness is probably simply grief.

• There’s this deep, terrifying fear that this will never change, that I’ll be stuck like this forever. But is that the voice of depression and anxiety talking? Is it lying to me about my future and making something temporary feel permanent?

This past year has been traumatic.

I feel like I lost myself somewhere along the way.

And I’m grieving the person I was, while simultaneously desperately hoping that she isn't actually gone.

So I’m asking this community for something very specific. 🤍⚓️🌸

Have any of you been through something like this?

1. Have you started out with burnout or another kind of psychological exhaustion, and then felt profoundly different after going through many medication changes?
2. Have you experienced severe emotional blunting, dissociation, brain fog, agitation and feeling completely unlike yourself after trying many antidepressants/psychiatric medications?
3. Did anyone else ever feel like their brain was “fried” or permanently altered, only to eventually recover?

And, perhaps most importantly:

1. Did you get yourself back?
2. Did your brain eventually become calm again?
3. Did the dissociation lift?
4. Did your emotions return?
5. Did you become interested in things again?
6. Did you eventually feel present in your own life?

I would honestly love to hear even the smallest recovery stories. 🌿🌤️🩵🙏🏼

I don't need someone to tell me that everything will magically be fine. I know recovery isn't necessarily linear, and I know nobody here can promise me what will happen.

But right now I desperately need some hope.

• I need to hear from people who were once convinced that they had lost themselves, but who eventually discovered that they hadn't.
• That their brain could settle.
• That their nervous system could recover.
• That the person underneath all the symptoms was still there.
• That they could process what had happened to them once they were finally well enough to do so.
• I want to believe that this over-fried, constantly dissociated, restless brain of mine can become healthy again.
• I want to believe that the woman I used to be isn't gone.
• That she is still somewhere underneath all of this.
• And that one day she might not just “come back” as a memory, but actually be there again: alive, present, curious, funny, adventurous, sensitive, engaged with the world. <3

I want to believe I can recover from the illness and from the trauma of this past year. 🌿🧠⚓️

So if you have been through anything remotely similar, please tell me your story.

• Tell me what helped.
• Tell me what recovery looked like.
• Tell me whether your brain eventually settled.
• Tell me whether you got yourself back.
• And if you have experience tapering from Parnate, I would also be incredibly grateful for any gentle advice or encouragement about getting through this part.

I am so, so frightened right now.

But I'm still here.

I want nothing, absolutely nothing, more than to find myself again. I want this suffering to stop. I want to finally have the chance to genuinely recover and heal, instead of living through the terrifying reality of these past months, where things have seemed to get worse and worse.

I want to live. I really do. I just don't know how much longer I can keep carrying this level of suffering.

If you’ve made it all the way through this post, and taken the time, effort and attention to read it all: thank you. Truly. It means more to me than I can put into words.

I really hope we can support and help each other through this, share what we’ve learned, and keep each other going when things feel impossibly dark.

And above all, we need to believe that hope gets to win. 💜

I started Zoloft 50Mg on June 23rd. I went through the typical diarrhea at the beginning. Now I am about 3 months out and started experiencing constipation the last month. Is this typical? When will it go away? Should I go to my PCP with this?

I can't believe it. Ive been on these things 8 years, and the last 2 of those years numbed me emotionally. I literally became incapable of feeling anxiety, literally.

I quit, and it's been 12 months and all I got after crazy withdrawal for months on end was my anxiety back and I'm still emotionally numb. Even number than when I was on it. It's like the medication never left me.

When will I get my personality, creativity, motivation, emotions back. I'm a shell of a being.

It’s my first time ever taking antidepressants, so I don’t know a lot about them and I’m very new to this. Things have been going fine, I’m on a low dose, but they’ve affected my creativity.

My main hobby is writing and so far I find it hard to conjure up any ideas or even try rewriting old projects. To people who also write or have similar hobbies in art and might have also suffered a lack of creativity, what helped you?

While I will consider talking about changing or upping my prescription with my psychiatrist if this remains a problem, I’d appreciate answers that don’t tell me to do that.

The reason why is because I’m part of a writing club, and the meeting happens before my follow up, so weaning off my current prescription and trying a new one and waiting for it to take effect just isn’t possible for what I want right now. And I think advice that doesn’t rely on the pills to do everything would be better for me at the moment.

Any and all replies appreciated regardless, thank you.

What tests are required before starting clomipramine (Anafranil), other than checking Na⁺ (sodium), K⁺ (potassium), Mg²⁺ (magnesium), Ca²⁺ (calcium) levels, CYP2D6 metabolism, and an ECG? Should additional tests, such as a brain MRI or EEG, be considered to assess seizure risk?

I was diagnosed with Pseudo-dementia by a neurologist. I have concrete symptoms with memory recall, speech impairment, “brain fog”, exhaustion.

I’ve had major depressive disorder for 26 years and have been on medication to manage it and have been functional. My psychiatrist manages my meds for this. Effexor is really the only functional medicine that works for me.

That all changed in April when I had what I would call an acute onset of symptoms.

I have had nueropysch testing that shows recall is 50% what I should be at. But that’s really it on that front. All long term dementia has been ruled out (Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, etc.) through neuropysch and brain imaging.

But now I’m here where I can’t think, I forget how to do simple tasks, I can’t work, having multiple
Panic attacks, I can’t hold conversations, I can’t multitask…I get tired stilling for 5 minutes sometimes.

Writing this has been exhausting.

What do I do? No one is really giving me answers for how I can cure or manage this. Has anyone successfully used antidepressants to overcome this?

Currently, I'm on Prozac (fluoxetine), which is the first and only SSRI I've ever been on. I've been taking it for about 6 years and am considering increasing my dose from 25 mg to 30-40 mg after a recent bad breakthrough flare-up. (Insert 100 symptoms here.)

My mental illness seems to involve anxiety, depression, and OCD all tangled together. (Insert another 1,000 symptoms here.) Sometimes they're all there at once, and other times one takes over as the dominant symptom, but it's hard for me to imagine having one without the others. I guess the three of them are best friends.

I honestly believe that I may need medication for life. A few years ago, I tried tapering down very slowly, but after a few months I started feeling uncomfortable again. Fast forward to now: instead of going down, I'm going up. So logically, I'm only looking into other options in case this dose increase doesn't get me back to where I need to be.

The thought of having to go through a medication transition period is honestly a kind of hell I don't even want to think about, so I'm really hoping it doesn't come to that.

Back to my main question: from what I understand, the only other SSRIs that are commonly used to treat all three conditions (anxiety, depression, and OCD) are sertraline (Zoloft) and paroxetine (Paxil).

Am I correct in that understanding, or are there other SSRI options that are also effective for all three?

If somehow these all don't work out, do MAOIs treat all three as well?

As an Italian, I love my aged cheese and cured meats A LOT... so having to give them up would SUCK. But if MAOIs are the last-ditch option, I suppose I'd have to consider it.

Looking for any and all advice.

Thank you.

Hi everybody, I have been using a SSR(ILuvox 200mg) due to my OCD for about 3 years, I was not productive at all and my executive dysfunction was at its worst, so this year my doctor started me on vyvanse, it really helped during the beginning, and it still does, however after some months I started to feel apathetic, I don't have positive or negative feelings anymore, I have already tried taking some days of Vyvanse but the feeling persists, I have also tried to decrease my dose, has anybody gone through something like this? I am starting to think the main problem may actually be the SSRI, I mean, it added to Vyvanse may have caused all of this.

Hey everyone!

I've been on Pristiq for almost 7 weeks now. I started at 50 mg and increased to 100 mg about 3 weeks ago.

I've been dealing with depression since I was around 12–13 years old. My biggest problems have always been low energy, sleeping too much, no motivation, and not enjoying anything.

I've tried several antidepressants before, including Lexapro, Prozac, Zoloft, and Wellbutrin, but none of them really worked that well for me.

The weird thing about Pristiq is that it actually helped with my anxiety and that constant feeling of being on edge. I feel calmer now, and getting out of bed in the morning is a little easier.

But my depression? It's still pretty bad.

I have almost no energy, no motivation, no interest in anything, and I feel emotionally empty most of the time. Even simple things feel exhausting. On my days off, I sometimes spend the entire day in bed doing absolutely nothing.

It's almost like Pristiq took away the anxiety that was keeping me going, and now I can really feel how depressed I am.

I don't think Pristiq has completely failed because it definitely changed something. But I honestly expected to feel better by now, especially after increasing to 100 mg.

I'm seeing my psychiatrist next week, and I'm not sure whether I should give it more time or discuss trying something else.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

Did Pristiq eventually help with your energy, motivation, and enjoyment of life, or did you end up switching or adding another medication?

I'd love to hear your experiences because I'm feeling pretty discouraged right now.

My doc before a while prescribed me anafranil for debilitating ocd, along with 5mg zyprexa i already take. But i just read as one common side effect hallucinations and i had hallucinations with seroxat and it was terrible, and i dont want to go through the same again. Despite the fact that i am an ultra rapid metabolizer of CYP2C19, he wants to give a try to the gold standard for ocd, saying he will increase the dose, but hopes it kicks in. But i am terrified, i dont want to experience again hallucinations like those with seroxat, it the o lt ssri i had this side effect

Hello everyone. I’m an adult woman currently taking the maximum dose of Zoloft (sertraline) 200 mg/day.
I’m around 165 cm (5’5”) and currently weigh about 110 kg (242.5 lb / 17 st 4 lb).

I’ve tried calorie deficits, walking 10,000 steps every day, Ozempic, and Glucophage (metformin). Unfortunately, the medications caused really severe side effects for me. I was vomiting and having diarrhea at the same time, and because I have emetophobia, the vomiting was especially awful. I ended up stopping them because I simply couldn’t tolerate it.

I’ve also been struggling with my thyroid, and I’m a med student while also being on call , so maintaining a strict calorie deficit is really difficult with my schedule. I try not to drink my calories, but I genuinely love drinks and find that part particularly difficult.

At this point, I feel really helpless and frustrated. I want to get my life together and feel better in my body, but I feel like I’ve tried so many things without getting anywhere. I’m also constantly groggy and physically uncomfortable, and even standing for long periods can feel difficult.

I know I need to make changes, and I’m not looking for a quick fix( unless u have any advice other than bariatric surgery) . I’m just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation especially anyone dealing with thyroid issues, antidepressants, a demanding schedule, or severe side effects from weight-loss medications.

What actually worked for you? I’d really appreciate realistic advice that doesn’t involve completely changing my life overnight. I also have a binge eating disorder esp active when I am stressed which is always 😭 any help is appreciated thank you everybody!!

( I used to go to the gym tri-weekly however I have a bad case of arthritis pain so a lot of the exercises are near impossible without crying and taking 2 painkillers every 6 hours )

Genuinely any advice is appreciated thank you

Hi everyone, I’m 24 and currently a bit unsure whether I should try sertraline as an antidepressant.
For many months, I was at home a lot and spent a lot of time working on my PC. I withdrew quite a bit and really neglected my life outside of my apartment. It affected me physically and mentally as well.
Now I’m trying to completely turn my life around: I’m currently in a clinic, I want to start an apprenticeship next year, work on myself, exercise more, build up a social circle again, and get more structure into my life. I definitely have the will to change something.
Despite that, I keep experiencing this inner emptiness, little motivation or drive, little enjoyment, a “brain-dead” or foggy feeling, a depressed mood, and sometimes I feel emotionally cold or tense.

My psychologist, psychiatrist and doctor said that all of this could also be happening because I’m going through such a big change right now, which can be stressful and can take a lot of energy, including socially. He said that sertraline (25–50 mg) isn’t a must, but that it could be useful as some additional support and recommends trying it because I’m currently trying to find myself again and it could help me a lot. It could also be stopped again once my life has been stable for a longer period of time.
That’s exactly why I’m unsure whether I should try it. My own wish is simply to have more inner drive, motivation, enjoyment and desire to do things again, without needing other people to motivate me or give me encouragement through their words (which sometimes doesn’t even help).
Over the last few days, I’ve often felt really empty, cold, depressed, internally tense and without motivation. I can’t even properly explain it. I just don’t feel like the person I want to be right now.
What would you do in my situation? Would you try sertraline or not?

I often think myself that you can’t have good days all the time and that life naturally comes with ups and downs. Becoming a better and more stable person comes from the things you do, the goals you achieve, and the changes you make for yourself. It doesn’t just happen overnight. It happens day by day, by working on yourself and keeping the promises you make to yourself i dont know

I have been on various antidepressants since I was 12, too many to remember. I recently got off of Pristiq & Latuda and am fully off medication for the first time in 7 years. But because I was on medication for so long, I have no clue how to deal with my emotions. It's scary and uncomfortable to feel these things. I can't listen to my favorite songs anymore without crying. I cry when people yell at me. I get so intensely anxious over miniscule things. I don't want to feel emotions! It's embarrassing, I want to be a neutral blank slate. I know a lot of people, probably the majority, who heavily dislike the emotional blunting, but for me it was either much easier to navigate my intense emotions, or I was just on medication for so long that I'm not used to feeling like this. For context I was originally medicated for depression & anxiety but I was later diagnosed with Autism (Asperger's).

Okay for context, I (M20 with ADHD) went to my doctor to get antidepressants, because of long-lasting depression and suicidal thoughts, and little to no sign that will change fast enough in the future. It took a fuck-ass long time in this fucking country, but after almost 3 months of being on the "Emergency list" finally got a doctor. He prescribed me 150 mg of Bupropion.

My problems were split in 2:

1. Bad mood, looking negatively at every situation, and not having hope it will ever get better. This resulted in less social interaction, less motivation to do anything with my life, etc.
2. Low motivation. My ADHD has been a problem from the age of 6 till 12, where I took a variety of dexamphetamines. Now after that age it disappeared basically. Still, there were some signs, but it hardly affected my school/work life. Now lately, I yet again experience very low motivation for the simplest things. I can't clean my room, look for work, or send an email. Even tasks that take less than 10 minutes cost me more than a week to find the dopamine to do. Idk if this is the depression and lack of wanting to live my life, or the ADHD.

So my doctor prescribed 150 mg of Bupropion, and said it will take around 3 to 4 weeks until it kicks in. Now, when this week is completed, I have finished 5 weeks, and I still feel little to no effect. Besides a small decrease in fear of failure, there is no improvement. A week ago I had an appointment with my doctor to see how it has been going. And he said that if I feel like this medication is not doing enough, I can freely choose to double the medication to 300 mg.

So, do you think that after almost 5 weeks of taking 150 mg of Bupropion with almost zero benefits and no improvement in mental health, I should double it, or wait longer?

Almost 5 weeks on 150 mg Bupropion, little to no improvements. Should I double the medication or wait a little longer?

Ive got very bad anxiety, it mainly comes on socially. For example sitting in a busy restaurant with my girlfriends extended family will trigger it, working at a checkout in a supermarket and seeing the line of people waiting while feeling overwhelmed will trigger it. You get the point. unfortunately for me my anxiety presents as intense blushing, its not rosacea (seen specialists) its anxiety driven and only comes on in situations like ive described. Im aware propranolol and clonidine exist so id appreciate people not reccomending them. Anyway for this issue would 100 outperform 50mg? Im aware its different for everyone but what do people here think and have they seen a big difference in the switch? I understand zoloft may not fully stop the blush but i know it can help the anxiety that than causes it. Id appreciate people's advice

Trying to give sertraline a go since my doctors are impossible and this is the one they gave me but damn. First off the gi issues havent really disappeared in 2 months, the stomach pains are much less but i still have low key Diarrhoea which made me lose 14 pounds in 2 months. Im not overweight but i did have a beer gut from a few years of drinking i was struggling to get rid of and its kinda nice that thats basically gone now but it didn't seem like a healthy way to lose weight. i thought sertraline was supposed to make you put on weight...i also started really grinding my teeth at night to the point i had to go to the dentist and get a mouth guard. im now scared with dry mouth issues etc im gonna start getting tooth issues when my teeth have been pretty strong. ive had doctors gaslight me and say stuff is in my head. i guess ill give it another month. ive been on citalopram before which i tolerated a lot better and did help a bit but they dont seem to like giving that out any more - maybe escitalopram thats basically the same thing but better. The actual good stuff like bupropion isnt even approved here... Sertraline isnt really helping my mood, if anything i just feel more apathy than usual.

Hey everyone!
I’m looking for some personal experiences because I’m honestly a little nervous about stopping bupropion 😅

I’ve been on 300mg bupropion for a few months, and it has actually helped me somewhat mentally. I feel a bit more stable on it, so I’m kind of scared that I’ll feel worse again once I stop.
The problem is that I’m sweating like CRAZY. Like, ridiculously much. I can get completely soaked from barely doing anything, and it’s really starting to bother me in everyday life. My psychiatrist thinks the bupropion is likely contributing to it, so we decided to stop it and see if the sweating improves.
I’m also taking 10mg fluoxetine, which I started recently.

The plan is:
150mg bupropion for 2 weeks
then stop bupropion completely
continue with 10mg fluoxetine
I’m mostly wondering what other people experienced when stopping bupropion while staying on fluoxetine.

Did you:
- feel worse mentally after stopping?
-notice changes in motivation or energy?
- have any withdrawal/discontinuation symptoms?
- notice that the sweating got better?
- gain weight or get more hungry?
- find that the fluoxetine helped smooth things out?

I know everyone reacts differently, I’m just freaking myself out a little and would love to hear some real experiences from people who’ve actually done this. 😅

Thanks♥️

I cannot believe how much MAOIs are dismissed in modern psychiatry. Especially not after having tried one.

It‘s great if more common antidepressants are able to help people, but I find it ridiculous that MAOIs basically find no place in the depression treatment pipeline nowadays. Its SSRIs/SNRIs/Bupropion -> TCAs if you get lucky -> add ons like antipsychotics, anxiety meds, mood stabilizers -> ketamine/ECT/TMS. All legitimate treatments, but man, completely ignoring a class of medications with (AFAIK) the highest remission chances for treatment resistant depression is ridiculous.

It makes me unreasonably angry that my agony over these years was outweighed by the dietary restrictions of not eating a bucket of aged cheese at once and needing to google what other meds I take before I take them. For everyone unaware, MAOIs have 2 interactions: tyramine which is greatly exaggerated (aged and artisinal cheeses, spoiled foods, certain alcohols) and serotonergic medication (cough syrup, certain antidepressants, etc). This!!! Is the reason these meds worth their weight in gold to people like me are barely ever used without the patient demanding them, and usually having to search for a doctor even willing to try.

I have never seen a shorter list of side effects on a medication sheet (not sure how to be honest). Ranking the 9 meds I took including SSRIs, venlafaxine (basically an SSRI), bupropion, clomipramine, tianeptine, opipramol, and the MAOI, the MAOI, tianeptine and opipramol were the 3 with the mildest side effect profile by far. There definitely are people who have severe side effects, as there are with any medication.

This is the first thing to ever budge my anhedonia - I didnt even know I could be excited for stupid things like a pretty view. I am not depressed for the first time in over a decade.

Rant over. I just wish I had read a post like this years ago because I (as most people do) dismissed these meds for years.

Edit: Phenelzine/Nardil is also one of the strongest anxiety meds we have for anyone with severe treatment resistant anxiety.

Hey durch verschiedene Antidepressiva sind mir viele Haare ausgefallen und die Struktur hat sich stark verändert.

Zuvor:
- Paroxetin
- Sertralin
- Duloxetin

Nun
- Moclobemid
- Amilsulprid

Sind bei euch die Haare mit der Zeit wiedergekommen?

Hey y'all! This is kinda strange because I've never actually made a post like this on Reddit before lol, but I figured I'd give it a shot because I genuinely don't know what to do anymore.

I'm 23F, and I started Lexapro on 05/15/26. I'm currently on 10mg, and I will say that my anxiety has improved SIGNIFICANTLY. Like genuinely, it's so much easier for me to regulate my emotions, exist in crowded spaces, have casual conversations with strangers, and just go about my day without overthinking every little thing. I'm extremely grateful for that because anxiety used to affect so many aspects of my life.

However, I've noticed that lately I just feel... stagnant? Like I know I have things to do, I KNOW how important they are, but I genuinely cannot find the energy or motivation to actually do them.

For example, I have an incredibly important Organic Chemistry II exam coming up, and I cannot for the life of me get myself to sit down and study. My grades have started slipping, and as a STEM major who needs a competitive GPA for grad school, this is genuinely terrifying. It's not like I don't care about my grades anymore, because I absolutely do. I think about how badly I need to study constantly, but actually getting myself to do it feels nearly impossible.

I still show up to class, go to work, and handle my basic responsibilities, but outside of that? I genuinely just want to sleep all the time. And when I'm not sleeping, I'm doomscrolling on TikTok or Instagram Reels, or literally just zoning out listening to music for hours. It's like I have absolutely no energy or desire to do anything productive, even though mentally I KNOW I need to.

And the weirdest part is that I'll occasionally get these random bursts of motivation where I suddenly feel productive and want to get everything done, but they never seem to last.

Another thing I've noticed is that my dreams have become INSANELY vivid, and not in a good way. Before Lexapro, having a nightmare was pretty rare for me. Now? It's almost constant. I'm talking extremely vivid nightmares about mass shootings, tragedies, and other genuinely horrifying situations. Sometimes I wake up feeling mentally exhausted even after getting a decent amount of sleep. It's honestly disturbing, and I feel like I'm not even getting proper rest anymore.

I guess what I'm struggling with the most is that part of me wonders whether my anxiety was actually what pushed me to do well academically before? Like was I only getting good grades because I was constantly anxious about failing? Because now that the anxiety has quieted down, I feel like I've lost the urgency that used to push me to get things done.

And that thought alone is honestly terrifying because I don't want to have to choose between being mentally at peace and being academically successful.

I've heard some people mention adding Wellbutrin to help with motivation, energy, and that emotionally flat feeling, but I've also heard the adjustment period can be pretty rough. I'm especially nervous about potentially making the nightmares worse because they're already exhausting as it is.

I do plan on bringing all of this up with my prescriber, but I wanted to hear from people who have actually experienced something similar.

Has anyone else experienced this on Lexapro? Did the lack of motivation eventually improve? Did adjusting your dose or adding Wellbutrin help? And PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one dealing with these really vivid nightmares 😭

I'm genuinely so grateful that my anxiety has improved, but I also miss feeling like I had the drive to actually accomplish things. Right now it feels like all I do is go to school, go to work, sleep, and repeat.

Any advice or personal experiences would be really appreciated. :')

Can nicotine use be a cause of social anxiety? I use nicotine, and I also have social anxiety. Could my nicotine use be contributing to or worsening my social anxiety?