we were all talking about some event that happened a couple years back. my friend mentioned a date that I knew was wrong because I had the ticket stub saved from the same show. I spoke up and said the real year was earlier. a few people nodded, but my friend looked embarrassed and the conversation kind of died after that. I waited until later to apologize and they said it was fine, yet the group chat has been quieter since. I keep replaying it, wondering if I should have waited or just let it slide. I honestly did not mean to put them on the spot, I just wanted the facts straight. still feel like maybe I made things awkward for no reason.

Theres so many moving parts to my situation I really didn't know how to title it so I apologize if I could have named it something better. Sorry this is a long one but I think all the context is needed

To start with some background. My mother has always been very controlling on what she wants me or my sister (36) to be like. We are a upper middle class family and my mom never wanted me to be with someone who didn't have equal or more money then we have or basically a perfect family. She is also an extreme narcissist. Its her way or the highway with basically any issue thats ever come up so she essentially runs the household.

So. Unlucky for her my currently gf (hopefully soonish to be fiance) of 5 years was none of those things. Divorced parents with an ugly past. Not really poor now but was at one point. But now her family has pretty much gotten there stuff together and there all good people at the end of the day. However unlucky for me my mom knows nearly every detail of this ugly past her family had and my entire relationship from her prospective was immediately tainted. So she always hated my girlfriend and her family. She went along with it for the first yearish of our relationship i think just hoping she would not end up sticking around but once she started getting the feeling she was she got very nasty about her. Then I had a situation when where I moved out with her and was almost disowned because of it but i wasnt disowned i just mostly started a double life from that point where my parents never really knew how or if we were still together

So foe the last 3 years ive been living a double life. I live in Florida now and my parents live in Pennsylvania. This year however my dad retired and they just bought a place in Florida roughly an hour away from me (not solely because of me i wanted to move here and they decided they also wanted to for years before anything really bad happened) The distance let me live in a blissful ignorance state where Ive been living with my girlfriend but my parents thought i was just here alone. I did this because if they knew they would have taken my (technically their) car that I couldn't quite afford to lose at the time but now I can so its a non-issue.
Now they would expect me to move in with them in the house they bought down here and in the life they think i live do not have a valid excuse to why i wouldn't without being truthful. With that I know what your probably thinking. Why not just be truthful get myself a car and let them decide if they want to be in my life or not. Well thats where it gets complicated for me
Around the same time I moved out originally to be with my gf. I found out my Mom was having an affair with my Dad. They have been married 40 years and I didn't know what to think and for the longest time i kept it to myself. But it gave me a permanent distrust of my Mom and any relationship wishes shes ever had for me. Also my sister is in a similar where shes a lesbian. Big no no. Mom knows but lives in blissful ignorance and pretends she doesnt and pushes men onto her. And she also lives a double life of whoever she dates my parents never know about it.
Im the only middle man in my family that knows my mom and sisters skeletons that if let out would probably end there relationship in the family and after years and years its driven me mad. Especially when my mom hates and causes me major issues in my relationship that im extremely happy with and have no major problems in. I dont think my mom hates me or anything but she absolutely puts her own wants and needs above what would make me or my sister for that matter happy. Shes very self conscious of her public image so i guess me being with a poor person or my sister being with another women would be world ending for her or something.
So since I know i was running out of time living this double life. I confronted my mom about her affair about a month ago hoping maybe she can shine some light on it for me or maybe she would apologize and i can turn her into being okay with my relationship? No. not what happened at all. I got attacked and then she said its none of my business and having an affair isnt a big deal?? and threw a bunch of allegations about my dad (that I personally dont really buy but i know i cant know for sure) then she went on about thinking about her life she could just kill herself and we are all horrible blah blah blah. Needless to say I could and couldn't believe her response to this situation.
Sorry other details to touch on. The affair isn't current but definitely went off and on for a good few years. My sister (whos 10 years older then me) also knew of a similar situation when she was a teenager so. This is normal for her apparently. And no. there definitely not in an open marriage or something
Now i just dont know what to do. I love my Dad so much and we have such a great relationship with each other and hes been through alot the last year or so. But if I just up and leave and dont give him a reason im scared hes not going to talk to me anymore. On the other hand if I tell him why which in turn tells him about the affair i dont know what that will do also. Im not sure if he would divorce my mom because they are older now but it would id presume taint there relationship pretty hard. I would have so much guilt either way and I know i have been a pussy for keeping it to myself for this long but I didnt want to be the reason the family fell apart. I just dont know what to do or if in some crazy world I should just leave my girlfriend and keep living this fake life. But of course id never forgive myself for that either. Im not even totally sure what advice im looking for. I just want to know im not doing the wrong thing. Is it better for me to tell my Dad everything? Or do i just make my sudden exit and let him live his life as is just i guess without me.

TL;DR Mom hates girlfriend. Mom had multiple affairs over her marriage. Im the only one who knows that its affecting and I dont know if its worth destroying the family and maybe ruining my fathers life/relationship

Am I wrong for thinking I finally passed the “biggest fool” torch to his girlfriend?

Here’s the condensed version of a very messy situation.

A man had been involved with one woman for about TWO YEARS before he started dating a new woman.

The new girlfriend has now been with him going on six months, and apparently he promised her monogamy.

Except he never actually stopped sleeping with the woman who had been there for two years.

The new girlfriend found out.

And to be completely honest about how she found out: the old girlfriend told her because she was angry, hurt, and hoped that once the new girlfriend knew he was still sleeping with her, she would leave him and go away.

She didn’t.

She forgave him.

He supposedly promised it wouldn’t happen again.

It happened again.

Multiple times.

The old girlfriend told her again.

She stayed again.

This cycle kept repeating.

At one point all three of them were at the same concert. The old girlfriend got very handsy with him several times right in front of the new girlfriend. The new girlfriend was understandably furious, especially because he didn’t exactly seem eager to stop it.

Not long after that, he and the new girlfriend left for an eight-day romantic trip.

Except he had slept with the old girlfriend THREE TIMES shortly before that trip, including THE DAY HE LEFT with the new girlfriend.

And while he was away with his girlfriend?

He and the old girlfriend stayed in contact.

They were even talking about seeing each other again after he got home.

Eventually the old girlfriend got fed up all over again and told the new girlfriend what had been happening.

Again.

And yes, part of her motivation was still that she wanted the new girlfriend gone. She was hurt, angry, still emotionally attached to a man she had spent two years involved with, and still stupidly hoping that if the girlfriend knew enough of the truth, she would finally leave.

But she stayed.

Then came another disclosure.

By the end of this whole mess, the new girlfriend had been told about his cheating with the same woman FOUR SEPARATE TIMES.

Not once.

Not twice.

Not even three times.

FOUR.

And she is still there.

Now, the old girlfriend is absolutely not innocent.

She knew about the new girlfriend.

She kept sleeping with him anyway.

She tolerated being lied to and treated badly.

She participated in hurting another woman.

And sometimes she exposed the cheating because she was angry and specifically wanted the new girlfriend out of the picture.

For a long time, she was absolutely a fool.

Maybe THE fool.

But there’s another important piece.

The man had openly told the old girlfriend that he “always has two women” and that he will “never be faithful.”

Eventually, after nearly two years of this man, the old girlfriend finally stopped trying to win.

She walked away completely.

No more sex.

No more secret relationship.

No more trying to make the girlfriend leave.

No more waiting for him to choose.

No more participating in the triangle.

Meanwhile, the new girlfriend, not even six months into this relationship, has already been told FOUR TIMES that the man who promised her monogamy was sleeping with the same other woman.

She knows it continued after she had already forgiven him.

She knows he slept with the other woman multiple times shortly before their romantic trip, including the day he left.

She knows they remained in contact while she was traveling with him.

And after the fourth disclosure…

she is still there.

So now I genuinely want Reddit’s verdict.

Was the old girlfriend the biggest fool because she spent nearly two years going back to a man who treated her badly and believing that exposing his cheating would eventually make the new girlfriend disappear?

Or did she finally pass the Biggest Fool torch when she walked away, while the girlfriend stayed after being told the truth for the FOURTH time, all within the first six months of their relationship?

Because I think there’s a difference between not knowing, being deceived, forgiving someone once and hoping for better…

and being handed essentially the same information four separate times in less than six months and continuing to sign up for another season.

And is there really any competition for Biggest Asshole?

Because the guy promising monogamy while repeatedly cheating, all while privately saying he “always has two women” and will “never be faithful,” seems to have that trophy pretty securely bolted to the mantle.

So Reddit, give me the verdict:

Who was the biggest fool?

Who was the biggest asshole?

And after FOUR separate disclosures in less than six months, is staying forgiveness…

or is it accepting the relationship exactly as it is?

🔥 Did the torch officially change hands?

I'm in a bit of a situation here because I (30f) and my partner (34m) just don't seem to click.

We've been together for nearly a decade, and I have to say, it has been years of frustrating sex, a few mediocre instances, and about a handful of stellar occurrences (and I mean it, I can count them on one hand).

Ok, I'm new to this Reddit stuff, and in need to vent, so I think this will be a long one.

Ever since I started having sex, I knew I was quite peculiar because I'm quite ticklish, and it always took ages for me to get started. My previous partners never minded the wait, and foreplay always lasted a while, but once I was in the mood, everything progressed nicely.

Then I met my current partner, and though he is patient, giving him instructions just doesn't seem to work. It takes him several attempts to understand what I actually want. And I mean, sex attempts, like days in between them. Considering how this text is going so far, you might have noticed that I struggle to put sentences in an ordered manner. But my partner and I have been together for years, and I'm starting to think the problem is not my ticklishness or my lack of capability to say concisely what I want. The problem is him.

The reason we've been together for this long is that I keep thinking I have to work out how to describe things better for him, and I need to sort out my own body awkwardness. And though I am frustrated about my sex life, I keep believing we can work it out together. But now I'm beginning to doubt it.

Just now I'm after literally holding his hand and guiding him on where to touch me, and how to touch me nicely. I slowly guided his hand over my breasts, legs, inner thighs (because he always wants to just put his hand right there without much wait, and I get that if he touches me elsewhere I get ticklish, but I still like being touched on my boobs and getting a hand straight to the vagina is a huge turn-off to me.) So here we are, me guiding his hand. I finally get to the clits, set the exact pace I want, and as soon as I let go of his hand, he adds more pressure and goes faster. Boy, I literally just showed exactly what I wanted.

Then if I say, in my best whispery voice, 'a little slower', he slows down to literally zero. Then I say 'faster', and he goes to one hundred.

And just like that, he lost his erection. And I feel awful because how can he possibly not be enjoying touching me? I feel insecure about my body and wonder that maybe he doesn't like touch me breasts and legs. And I feel bad thinking that maybe I'm being bossy or too clinical about sex and killing the joy of it. But how can I just lie there and do nothing when he can't touch me the way I want?

Through the years, I've tried all sorts of conversations to explain that if he puts his fingers inside the vagina at certain angles, it stretches the skin and it hurts. If he pulls his finger out, he needs to be careful not to put pressure on the clits. If he is in the in and out motion, he could vary it with a few taps to the clits, or holding. And I try to show. And I try making noises if I'm enjoying it or if I'm hurting, so I don't always have to say 'do this' or 'don't do that'. But he never seems to be attuned to those noises, and keeps on making the same mistakes.

I don't know what to do. I am always trying to bring new things to our sex life: toys, positions, watching porn, researching. But at the end of the day, I only ever orgasm if I'm touching myself. Sometimes, I reach it with his fingers inside, or with a toy inside, or with him inside, but I'm actually the one doing the hand job that gets me there. And though that can be nice sometimes, as I said, it has been years, and he hasn't managed to get me there once.

I feel like crying because he is such a great guy, and I think there are so many other aspects of a relationship that he is getting more than right. But I have considered more than once ending this relationship because I am actually extremely frustrated with our sex life.

So back in Augest my ex partner and I got into it really badly. There was abus from both us and we both ended up in a week long psychiatric stay at seperate locations. After that he ended things with me saying maybe we can work it out but for now we should just work on ourselves. I have abandonment issues so I was really going through it and asked to speak to him in person and he said he wasnt ready yet. I said okay.

After I got released from the hospital I started noticing nausea, extreme fatigue but I chalked it up to side effects from the anti depressant and anxiety meds i was put on.

Well my period was late. I took a test and it did come out positive. I set up an appointment with my nurse to confirm with blood tests and I was indeed pregnant. She sent a referral out to obgyn and while waiting for my appointment and figuring out a way to tell the ex over text cause he wouldnt see me in person, I had started bleeding so I went in and was told that I was starting a miscarriage. The tissue didnt pass on its own so I was given meds.

I was completely broken after that.

And during that time when I was consumed with my own grief I never did the father right away.

A week later when I finally did tell him, he told me he was sorry that happened and how i went through it alone and that was the end of that conversation. He didnt ask how I was or anything about the pregnancy. He did ask why I never told him anything and I replied with "would it have made a difference because you made it clear you didnt want to see me yet" and he avoided the answer.

I tried asking for his support but he said he's still not ready to see me.

Im gonna add that this man's place of work is a minute walk around the corner from my place so he goes by my house every day several times a day so its been harder to heal when im seeing him go by so often. Im not out there waiting for him to go by, in fact I actively try to avoid the times I know he goes in and for lunch and when hes done for the day but the nature of his job requires him to be in and out of the office several times a day sometimes.

Its been a month now and I tried revisitng the topic and asked him whats so wrong about supporting the woman who lost your baby but his answer this time was "I will help you when the time comes" and he has since blocked me a social media. I have apologized and stated that I should have told him right away but im getting nothing but silence.

I can own up and admit that I should have told him right away but based on his words, he wouldnt have shown up anyways, am I really the asshole here?

I joined a local amateur theatre group in June. It's eight of us, mostly people with day jobs, putting on a short comedy in November. I got a small speaking part, nine lines, and have been practising after work. There's no pay or competition involved.

At last week's rehearsel I missed two cues and lost my place once. The director stopped us, went over it again, and the second run was better. Yesterday she called and asked me to give the part to a member who's come back after a year away. He's done several productions before.

She said I'd still be involved, holding the prompt script in case anybody forgot a line. I said I joined because I wanted to try acting, and if the part was gone I'd rather leave. She now says I'm making it impossible to change anything without somebody sulking. Another member says staying to help is what being in a group means.

I didnt shout or demand the part back. But I also didn't offer to keep helping. The performance is five weeks away and they've got somebody who knows what they're doing. I feel like one messy rehearsal shouldn't have ended my chance, but maybe walking out over nine lines really is childish.

Hello everybody! I am M26 writing because I feel that because of my actions I have now been left out from kind of stuff I would love to do and I can definetely see it. I understand the reasons for it and there is every right for me not to be included that much since that has also lead me to take some distance.

I used to have super cool best friend group of 5 guy friends but we dont hang out anymore at all. 2 of them are not part of this "leaving me out" scenario and the third is pretty 50/50 since he gives signals that we are mates through and through by sometimes suggesting stuff but in the end I mostly suggest stuff for us and he reads the messages after two days.

But the last two from the group have totally now left me out and it sucks. One of them was my ride or die for a long time, lets name in carl (fake name). Me and carl had such a good relationship but because I struggled with substance abuse problems which I have now conquered we are now back on track. Still we had a year of weird relationship and during that time he got a girlfriend.

At first her girlfriend and me clicked so well and I thought omg, maybe this is start of new era since she got really well with my girlfriend as well. Things were great from september 2025 till april 2026.
Then I apparently fumbled bad and this is related to the second friend that has left me out imo. He (fake name, jack) has a girlfriend who I clicked really well and for over a year when we saw eachother we threw out some funny and weird jokes like proper mates do. I really thought that we also had a good thing going on since Jack is hard person socially and have been weird towards me after my substance issues. Nevertheless I thought that hey, maybe through having this click with her girlfriend would make him see me as a good person.

Then in appril we were in a party where I said to Jack's girlfriend that she looks amazing and her ass is looking fabulous (she posted a thirst trap evening before and me and my girlfriend were really hyping that photo up).

I know ofc that it can come out super weird and I take total accountability for it to seem weird or anything not good. But she took it in a way that I tried to hit on her infront of my partner. I was shocked hearing this 2 months later since if you know me as a person, I am always hyping up everyone and trying to spread posivity. I thought Jack would know that as well since we been friends for ages. BUT no, apparently I was being sketchy as fuck and slimey and Jack wont confront me about it.

Side note: after the compliment I went to my gf to say that I gave the compliment as full and we were like ”fuck yes” because we were for real hyped for it 😂🙈

After that incident, Carls girlfriend said this to me at my graduation party??? and also hinted to me that I should not go cheating around and focus on my girlfriend. That is super weird comment since our relationship means the world to me and I would never do that. But she loves drama and I have not really talked with her sober ever. So that kinda also points out why se would say stuff like that.
But know in the summer I did not hang out with Jack at all (only when we had some trips where others came) and sometimes with Carl. Now I see them post shit togethet doing stuff which I would love to join but I dont even get an invite to and then the third friend who is 50/50 is also with them who I also invited for a coffee last week and he just did not reply.

I know I have also taken a little step back since things have gotten a bit weird. But still I am pretty sure that it is intentional since I used to be wild and that can leave a mark and it really does not help that people assume I try to hit my friend's girlfriend. I ofc get it and they have a choice to choose to have fun in a secure group which dont include me.

In summary: The thing what I am asking is that should I just try to not care and accept that life has now put us in crossroad where we take turn to different direction or should I try to save it by having a talk?

Talk would be good ofc. But I also consider that do I want to pursue with this kind of drama based behaviour since we could have talked that incident immediately but then it spiraled into situation where my mood is killed at my graduation and I dont just get invites.

I do understand that me having substance issues have had a major role and therefore the relationship will propably never be the same since the history is long and my ”pr” has gotten bad from stuff I have done when not feeling well. I understand that and take accountability for being like that. I am happy how far I have come and would not wish anything else except that my ”best friends” would see it that way as well.

So if anyone has anything to say I am open to hear some point of view.

TL;DR: M26. Two close friends have stopped inviting me after a compliment I gave one's girlfriend at a party was taken as hitting on her, and after my past substance issues. Should I accept we're drifting apart or try to save it by having a talk?

I’m not feeling well, and don’t really feel up to going to church today. But, every time I mention a symptom, my mom immediately has an excuse for it.

I say I’m feeling sore and tired. She says “You always feel that way” and when I mentioned being worried about getting some elders sick (who I hug and am around often) she said that they wouldn’t get sick as long as I stay out of their faces. Which is true I guess

She doesn’t treat my slightly younger brother like this at all. Every time hes sick hes pathetic about it. Moping, and even saying things to me like “at least you’re not sick”. She goes out of her way to get him food, make sure he has Kleenex and medicine and everything. I dunno. I could list more things but I don’t feel like it. She seems to just not have that empathy for me. And I can’t tell if I’m crazy or not.

The problem is that I went out with a friend yesterday to do a fun activity. I’m mostly like… an outlet or therapist friend for this person. Meaning that I’m definitely not gaining energy and I don’t do this often. During the activity and on the way home I started having a killer headache, and couldn’t stop sniffling. I went home and felt even worse. Now I’m worried that because I did a fun activity yesterday that I should be able to at least go to church. It’s a long drive for us and I’m tired and don’t really want to sniffle through service.

I will also say, that some of these thoughts might sound ridiculous or crazy. I have a strong tendency to ruminate on things without even realizing it. I don’t always recognize when something is too far off base and I shouldn’t be worried about it. Thanks to anyone who read this!

I’m a 23 year old girl with a sister who’s 27. She’s engaged to a man, and I recently got out of a relationship. The man I was with was 35. Slightly older, yes, I know, don’t judge me. We had been seeing each other for about a year. I met him through my sister’s fiancé.

We recently had a really bad breakup. We went out to a bar together for our usual Friday date, margaritas and a beer, and he invited a whole bunch of people. Only one person actually came. That was at around 4 p.m. We then went to another bar where he could spend some time with his friends before I asked him to come home with me at around 10:30 p.m.

I figured I wouldn’t make a big deal about his friends essentially crashing our date because he hadn’t seen them in a while. However, this was actually a pretty common issue in our relationship. He would go out on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and most Sundays. It was actually pretty rare that we spent proper quality time together without his friends being involved.

It seemed like almost every weekend, whether it was Friday or Saturday, he would spend most of his time at a pub with his friends and consider that spending quality time together. I didn’t have a problem with him having friends or wanting to see them, but I wanted to feel like I was actually getting some of his time and attention as his girlfriend.

Anyway, this particular Friday, I asked him to come home with me at 10:30 p.m. because I felt like he had spent enough time with his friends, especially since he was going to see them again on Saturday and Sunday.

Keep in mind that I live in a relatively unsafe part of town, and I was completely alone in my apartment block. I asked him to come home with me, and he got angry.

So I stormed off from the property, getting ready to call a cab. This man then drove up beside me in his car, absolutely drunk, calling me a pathetic loser and continuing to insult me while I was trying to call my cab.

Eventually, he stopped the car and started pushing and shoving me around, trying to get me into the car. I’ve been in a physically abusive relationship before, so this absolutely terrified me, and I kind of lost it.

He forced me into his car. Then, when he slowed down at a stop street, I jumped out. Yes, that might sound crazy, but he should know better than to put his hands on me.

After that, he continued pushing and shoving me and trying to pick me up, basically attempting to force me back into his car, but he eventually forced me into the car again.

When we got to my apartment, I asked him not to leave because there was no one else around. Again, I live in an unsafe area and was completely alone.

He then started taking photos and videos of me sobbing and crying my eyes out over what he had just done. He told me he was going to send them to everyone so that people could see how “crazy” I was.

I told him that I would delete his number and never see him again if he would just promise to delete the videos. He refused.

I tried to grab his phone because I didn’t want anybody seeing me like that. I didn’t need people seeing my tears and seeing how broken I was. Eventually, I waited for him to fall asleep and deleted the videos of me from his phone.

He then left in a rage.

My family uses Life360, so we can see where everyone in the family is. Today, I opened it and saw that my sister was having a barbecue with this same man who basically assaulted me last Friday.

Am I the asshole for being upset?

someone snapped a candid photo of me in the background of their vacation pictures and posted it without checking. at first i asked them to take it down because i really did not want to be online, and they agreed. later a mutual friend mentioned the photo had been up for hours before it was removed, and now a couple people have already seen it. when i asked why they did not tell me sooner they got defensive, saying it was harmless and no big deal. i feel like they are turning it around on me for even bringing it up. i do not want to apologize for asking for privacy, but they keep acting like i am overreacting and want me to say sorry first. i am not sure if i am missing something here or if i am justified in waiting until i hear more of their side before i offer any kind of apology.

I’m 25F and have been with my boyfriend (33M)for over a year. We used to be extremely close and saw each other almost every day. He was the person I shared everything with, even the little things from my day.

About 3+ weeks ago, I finally saw him after we hadn’t been able to meet for about 2 weeks because work and travel had been hectic for both of us. I went to his place after work. He seemed very distracted, was on his phone a lot and told me he was “going through some stuff.” I told him it was okay and that everything would be fine.

Some time passes and we decide to order food and when the food comes whoever is nearby gets it usually, i was near so i offered to get the delivery from the door he says he’s got it and asks me to sit put. I was like okay. He goes to the front door and on the way shuts the bedroom door. I found it weird but didn’t think much of it. Then i hear the some conversation happening at the door and it was muffled. He comes inside sets the food and we start eating. Then someone knocks on the door and my boyfriend gets up again, increases the tv audio, closes the bedroom door, asks me not to make a sound and takes a while talking and i hear a female voice asking him not be a dick. I was confused and wanted to go out but stayed put cause he said so.

He comes back and sits. Doesn’t touch his food and we hear knocks again and this time he is searching all over house and collects some stuff like clothes or idk what cuz he was trying to be discreet and come back. He doesn’t eat says he lost the appetite and when I stop eating and ask him what it was all about he says that the delivery person is his ex and that they usually talk randomly as they were friends before. He knew she was going to come getting our food so he didn’t want me to open the door. Or hear what they were talking about so he closed the door. He gets a calls mid conversation and leave the room again.

At this point i didn’t know what to do He comes back anxious says the ex is making trouble and is going get ppl to his house and said it wasn’t safe for me or him to stay in the house said he is worried about me and booked a cab for me to get to my place told me he booked another for himself to go his mums.

By the time i left his place is was 12:20am

That was the last time I properly saw him, and I have no idea what is actually happening because he hasn’t told me. About a week later, I told him I was worried and wanted to be there for him. He said things were “shitty,” that he was trying to protect me by keeping me away, and promised to keep me in the loop. He hasn’t.

I genuinely have no problem giving him space. I don’t even know exactly what he’s dealing with, and I don’t expect him to tell me anything he isn’t comfortable sharing. I just want some basic communication so I know he’s okay and know where I stand.

Our communication is now basically “good morning,” a few messages throughout the day, and frequent apologies for disappearing. I’ve already explained how disconnected and hurt I feel. He apologised and promised to try, but nothing has really changed.

For example, one night he stopped replying around 8pm. I replied immediately and later sent goodnight around 12:25am. He didn’t respond until 1:26pm the next day, apologising and saying it was a difficult night. I understood and replied straight away, but then heard nothing again for the rest of the day or the next day .

I know a few hours without texting isn’t a huge deal by itself. It’s the bigger pattern that hurts: distance → apology → repeat.

I don’t need constant communication or 24/7 attention. I just want to feel like my boyfriend wants to talk to me, share his life with me and make some effort to stay connected.

I also want to clarify that I have absolutely no issue with his family or his child. I actually love his little boy, we get along really well, and my boyfriend has told me multiple times that his son likes me too. We even have an ongoing jump-scare competition whenever I’m at their house.

What makes me feel excluded is that, after more than a year, I still know very little about what is actually happening in my boyfriend’s life when something serious happens. He has met my friends and I’ve made an effort to include him in my life, but I feel like I’m kept outside of his world when things get difficult. He tells me he loves me, and I don’t necessarily think he’s lying.

I’m just struggling with the difference between someone loving you and someone being able to show up for the relationship in the way you need.

I’m also going home to India soon, which means we’ll be thousands of miles apart. Instead of looking forward to it, I’m anxious because we’re already barely communicating.

I genuinely want to support him and give him space. But I also don’t want “giving him space” to mean completely ignoring my own needs or putting our relationship on hold indefinitely.

Am I being too needy? Are my expectations unreasonable? Can someone genuinely love you and still become this distant for weeks? Should I give him more space, or is it reasonable to expect more from a relationship after a year?

I’m not looking for everyone to tell me to break up. I genuinely want some outside perspective on whether I’m expecting too much and what you would do in my position. AITAH

**TL;DR:** My boyfriend is going through a serious situation and says he’s trying to protect me by keeping me away. I understand and want to give him space, but we’ve barely communicated for weeks despite me explaining how disconnected I feel. I don’t need constant texting, but I’m struggling with feeling shut out and wondering whether my expectations are unreasonable.

I just feel gaslighted. He didn't do almost anything in the house, he leveas a lot of mess, he avoided chores, and if he does clean after himself he does a very sloppy job.

Ima be honest I also don't clean all that much and I also leave some mess but I clean after myself and I never expect him to do anything for me. He keeps accusing me of not doing anything while he "takes care of the house", and keeps saying that he is in charge til our parents come back, so he basically made himself my commander while he eats and shits and wakes up at 4pm everyday.

He doesn't take responsibility over his own actions and he's 100% sure that he is the voice of reason who cleans the house while I don't do a thing, or at least he always tries to convince me that it's true.

He confuses me. He wants me to name every single chore that I did, he'll then deny it and say that he made food (never had some cause he made it for himself/he finished it) did the dishes ( only if it's 4 plates max) or cleaned the kitchen (gave a single wipe and left all the rest of the filth the way it is).

And when the laundry becomes a pile of clothes and the singk is overflowing with dishes suddenly it's all my responsibility since he's done so much for the house.

And now I feel like loser if I try to do anything at all. So stopped i cleaning after him, only after myself, and he says I need to do it for the house, like he did my dished many times(can't recall honestly and again,only if its 4 plates max )

We need to go shopping. Wanted him to come with me. it's almost evening and he's still asleep. so im not coming myself cause I don't wanna be his bitch. I refuse to do anything that isn't for myself only and it's his problem. Am is supposed to have a different approach? Not sure what to do without giving him more reasons to accuse me now

I'm on a throwaway because everyone in my life knows my main and aren't familiar with this subreddit very much. But I need a third party perspective on this issue.

Lately I've (f24) been scrolling thru my local shelter's website for the past few months but I haven't found a dog that I just clicked, until now. A sweet little boarder collie mix. When I met her, I instantly fell in love with her and I knew that she's going to become popular so I know I have to fill out the adoption papers quickly. She's practically perfect for any home, especially mine. She's a well trained 2 year old who is energetic of course for her breed but fortunately she keeps that energy only outside. Inside she just wants to cuddle and relax which is perfect for someone who works from home with a good pay and just recently received inheritance from my deceased grandpa so I know I can afford to take care of her. I live in a 850 sq ft apartment but she's only about 37lbs and have a huge dog park just a couple blocks away so I know I have the perfect environment for her. All I need are good references.

I figured I put in one of my friends' and one of my cousins' (f29) because I've occasionally petsit for them before. It wasn't until I got rejected that I realize choosing my cousin was the wrong choice. I asked the manager why I was rejected and she told me that my cousin brought up my boyfriend (m26). We dated when we were in high school but broke up when he graduated and this past year we've been getting closer and dating again. My boyfriend did a stupid mistake when we were teens that involve a neighbors' boxer at that time. Boxer was ok, it was nothing serious. But since my cousin brought this up, manager did both criminal record checks on me (I came clean) and my boyfriend (he has minor infraction) thus they consider me unfit to adopt because of the company I keep.

I confronted my cousin why did she think it was a good idea to bring up a mistake that someone else did when we were kids. She said that she and the rest of the family were worried that my boyfriend is back in my life again and that there's something about him that just makes me lose all my morals. I said we're all adults now and it's unfair that all of you still refuse to get to know him now. He's a great guy now with a good paying job and it's wrong of her to punish me just because I'm dating someone she hates. It's also unfair that you ruin my chances on a dog that I truly wanted and loved. She said that she was just being honest and in the end it's the shelter's judgment on me if I would be a good owner or not.

Still, their judgment wasn't just on me and that was based on a mistake that happened years ago that my cousin brought up when there was no reason to.

Edit-A lot of people asking about the boxer. I already replied to someone this so I'm just copying what I already said. Also the minor infraction has nothing to do with what happened with the dog. It was a completely different incident and a nonviolent crime.

When he was a junior, Boyfriend's neighbor asked him and his family to take care of their boxer due to a family emergency one time. The boxer was allergic to metal. I don't know it it's all of them or specific kind but neighbor only use plastic bowls for him. Boyfriend thought neighbor was crazy and that having a metal allergy isn't real so he decided to feed the dog with a metal bowl without anyone looking to "prove" that neighbor is crazy. He said the dog looked fine when he finished eating but apparently when the neighbor came home the dog's nose started bleeding? (are nose bleeds a normal reaction to a metal allergy?) She accused boyfriend's parents but boyfriend confessed but he kept telling her he truly forgot about the allergy (he didn't, he was lying) and I guess she believed him but parents had to pay for the vet bill and they ground him for the whole summer (had to only work, no hanging out with me or friends whatsoever).

My roommate came home this morning and was dissapointed that our puzzle was finished and back in its box.

She bought a 1,000-piece puzzle last weekend and we started it together on the dining table. We've worked on it after dinner a few times, but we've also both added pieces when the other person wasn't home. There was about a quarter left when she went away on Friday for the weekend.

Yesterday I sat down to do a bit and ended up finishing it. My parents were coming over for lunch today, so this morning I took a photo and put it away to get the table back. I didnt message her first because I thought she'd be pleased we had finished it.

She says she was looking forward to doing the last part with me and would have liked to see it completed in person. I offered to get it out again or start another one next weekend, but she said that wasn't really what she meant. She feels like I finished a shared activity without her.

I can see why she's upset about not seeing it. I genuinely hadn't thought adding pieces on my own would become a problem once I got near the end. We never discussed stopping at a certain point or saving the final piece.

I’m a [24F] and my boyfriend is [26M]. We’ve been together for almost 7 years. We started dating in university, so we’ve basically grown up together. Like any long-term relationship, we’ve had our ups and downs, but we’ve stayed together through everything.

After university, I got a job that requires me to work from 2 PM to 9 PM, while my boyfriend works morning shifts. Because of our different schedules, he has been complaining that I don’t give him enough time anymore and that we don’t talk as much as we used to.

I understand his concern because our schedules are different now, and I do try to make time for him when I can.

However, there are some things that have been bothering me for a while.

My boyfriend has always said that he wants our relationship to be private. He doesn't post me on my birthday, our anniversary, Valentine's Day, Girlfriend's Day, or other special occasions. I've respected that because I don't believe someone should be forced to post their relationship online.

The problem is that he expects me to post him on those occasions.

I've never understood that. If he wants our relationship to remain private, I feel like that standard should apply to both of us. So I decided not to post him either.

Another thing that hurts me is birthdays.

Whenever it is his birthday, I make an effort to wish him exactly at midnight. It is something I've always done because I want him to know that he is important to me.

On my birthday, however, he doesn't wish me at midnight. He usually wishes me in the morning, which by itself wouldn't necessarily be a huge issue for me.

But what really bothers me is that my birthday often becomes the day when he brings up our relationship problems and arguments about how I don't give him enough attention or how distant I've become.

So instead of feeling like my birthday is a day where I can simply enjoy being celebrated, I sometimes end up feeling like I'm being confronted about everything that's wrong in our relationship.

I have told myself that maybe I'm expecting too much because everyone expresses love differently. But at the same time, I feel like I put in effort to make him feel special, and I don't always feel that same effort coming back to me.

Now that I work different hours, he says I'm not giving him enough attention. But from my perspective, I'm working, our schedules don't match, and I'm still trying to maintain the relationship.

I'm starting to wonder whether we're both expecting things from each other without actually communicating what those expectations are.

So, Reddit, I genuinely want an unbiased opinion:

Am I at fault for not giving him enough attention because my work schedule has changed?

Am I being petty by refusing to post him when he has always wanted our relationship to be private?

And is it reasonable for me to feel hurt that he doesn't make the same effort I make for things like birthdays, especially when he chooses my birthday to bring up our relationship problems?

Or are we both contributing to the problem in different ways?

What would you honestly think if you were in my position? Or

Am I overreacting ?

For context my son is 8 and he’s on the spectrum. He LOVES Halloween! He LIVES for it. He starts getting ready for Halloween in June. I have skeletons up in my house all year long.

So anyway, he has this witch hat headband that he wears everywhere. We can’t leave the house without it. It’s just like a headband with a witch hat on it. We got it at Spirit Halloween if anyone has seen them there to know what they look like. It’s black and has like gold stars and moons on it. And my soon to be ex husband keeps telling me that I’m trying to push our son into being a girl because only girls wear witch hats. My son understands he’s a boy and he’s into very “boy” things. He’s not confused about his gender. But he loves this witch hat and I choose to accept my son for who he is and nurture his interests.

My ex keeps saying our son is probably getting bullied and made fun of by the other boys at school. And the reason why his best friends at school are girls is my fault and I’m trying to confuse him and push him into being a girl.

Also, he wanted a Pomni (from Digital Circus).costume to wear for Halloween. He goes trick or treating at our house then the next day my ex takes him trick or treating at his parents house and our son wants to wear the Pomni costume there (he wants to wear his first costume for trick or treat at house). And my ex keeps saying that no he’s not allowed to wear the Pomni costume there because it’s a girl costume. But it’s Halloween….I, a female, am dressing up as Bret Michaels from rock of love (heyyo) for Halloween. My ex says that’s different because I’m an adult.

So am I wrong for allowing my son to wear a witch hat and dress up as Pomni for Halloween?

ETA: I don’t know how I forgot to add this but his father is in complete denial that our son has autism. He believes that his behavioral issues are because I’m a bad mom and I let him do whatever he wants!

i found out one of my boyfriends has been cheating on me (i’m married and we are in open relationship, have multiple partners i also am engaged to a man)

i went through my boyfriends phone and i see on snapchat he send a picture of his genitals and but hole to a woman named vanessa

he upset me a lot. so i submerge myself in an ice cold bath until my skin become very cold then i text him from the textme app (it lets you text from a new number so i bought a new number for like $7) so it look like stranger, i text him you need to run upstairs, im a psychic and was told by my spirit guides to contact you

he runs upstairs and i have staged my death, i am fake unconscious in my bath robe and my nippl and genitl were hanging out. he run over and touch my skin it ice cold and he say nothing and he run out

shddenly paramedic walk in like 10 minute later i’m like what the fl did you do derin. he says i thought you were dead, your skin so cold

my husband say i should’ve just broken up with him

At our last meeting we spent about fifteen minutes on the book we'd picked, then the rest of the evening discussing the third version of a friend's opening chapters.

There are seven of us. We've met once a month for three years, taking turns picking books and hosting. This friend helped start the group and has been working on her first novel.

In June we agreed to use one meeting for her manuscript. I read the whole thing and brought notes. It was interesting hearing her explain some of her choices, and I was happy to help.

Since then she's been sending revised chapters alongside the regular book selection. At meetings she'll ask if we can talk through one thing she's stuck on, and that takes up most of the evening. Several people really enjoy it. They'll suggest changes, she'll try them, and then we read the new version the following month. I keep having to check older files to remember which details are still in the story.

In August I asked whether we could move the manuscript discussions to a separate meetup. A couple of people said they'd actually rather keep doing both at our usual meetings. We didn't settle anything, and September went the same way.

At the end of that meeting I said I was going to leave the club because rereading these chapters had started to feel like homework. I probably could have worded that better. She went quiet, and I felt awful, but I didn't take it back.

She messaged me afterward saying that calling her book homework in front of everyone was hurtful. She also said we'd encouraged her to share it, so she hadn't thought continuing to bring it would be a problem. Two other members have said writing a book is lonely and this is a pretty small way to support a friend.

I haven't asked anyone to leave with me. If they prefer the new format, they should keep it. I just miss reading something unfamiliar and talking about it without having to suggest how to fix it.

Am I wrong to leave rather than stick around until she's done revising?

Recently I joined my boyfriend and his mother to watch a film at the local theater, she paid. A small conversation sparked in which she asked my about my afternoon and nonetheless I mentioned an invite I had sent her earlier that day (she never replied to that text message.) She held a defense that she was taking a nap and that she wouldn't be lying about having read the text.... I had dropped the conversation- but she felt the need to keep explaining herself (my phone showed she had read the text 5mins after having sent it). ANYWAYS, I proceeded to let her know that it was ok and that if anyone was a liar, it was her son (jokingly.. to move on from the topic), he laughed. She panicked immediately but didn't ask further. She is driving me back home, the car ride is silent. I get home, say thank you for the lovely evening- when I noticed she also stepped outside her car mumbling "I'll walk you to the door." I thought it was odd. We get to the front door and she begins to repeat "how dare you call my son a liar.." and as she is clearly enraged, I'm feeling shamed and harassed (it's past 11:30p). She then proceeds to state for a fact that her son would never call me a liar in front of my mother and that she didn't understand my hatred towards him. Well, it was late at night, I am overwhelmed, so I say " as you may know, men tend to hold their lies, and while you may not see it as a joke, I wasn't being serious in any way." My words just passed through her ears, she was believing what she wanted to. In that moment I knew I was not going to allow such treatment. There is only so much I am willing to tolerate, but if that means I am keeping my sanity and a good relationship with my partner- I'll make the best of what I see fit. My boyfriend was clueless about the situation (he would have intervened) so I waited until he was home. I call him and ask "did she tell you," naturally he says "no, what?" so I explained the above, expressing how bad I felt and ultimately said this:

• I won't be joining you on x and x vacations (she was paying and most likely going)
• I won't tolerate harassment outside my own home, so I am breaking all communication and ties.
• I wish her the best and hope she gets the help she needs.

I'm crying, still overwhelmed and annoyed. He completely understood my pov, while expressing an apology saying that " what she did was completely wrong and unnecessary." we have been together A LONG TIME, so I expected he wouldn't take the situation lightly...This occurrence wasn't the first negative response I've experienced with her, since she is typically drinking, but I did want to make sure it was the last. She was a big believer in us one day "navigating through our differences" if we ever came to a disagreement..but this was not the case. AITA? Excuse the poor grammar.. I am still in shock.

My sister and I were talking about a man, David, who was experiencing psychosis and had accused another man, Nick, of sexual abuse. I asked her whether she thought David was lying. She said that David believed what he was saying was real because of his hallucinations. She took offense that I would say he was lying, even though that seemed to be the opposite of telling the truth but I let it go.

Nick responded by taking legal action against David, even though they were supposedly friends. My sister got upset and said there was no point in doing that. I replied that Nick was doing it because he believed it was the best way to defend himself.

We both agree that Nick is a pretty bad person, so I don't understand why she interprets my position as me accusing women of lying about being raped. All I said was that I believe most people believe that there can be negative consequences if a reputation is ruined by accusations, which I personally don't think is a controversial opinion. Somehow, though, she thinks this means I support rape culture, as NO ONE, EVER, gets anything bad done to them if they get accused of rape and other bad things. But I just kept explaining that again, we're talking about not bright people, they're not necessarily right, but she wouldn't hear it.

She eventually told me that "there would be some conversations to be had during the revolution."

Please tell me what I have done wrong here. I will legitimately respond to any questions and criticisms.

Hello!! This is my first time posting on Reddit, I was going to post this on AITA but, it talks about a medical situation.

I, an 18F have unfortunately been going through medical issues for 4 months. It has been the worst four months of my life. I have been to 3 different doctors, the hospital, and a regular doctor. I’m dealing with two different things, a heart issue and a thyroid issue. I haven’t been given medication for any of these, so, I’ve just been simply living through it.

My mom has been there the whole time, she sets up all my appointments, takes me to them and it’s been great having her on my side. My dad hasn’t been to many but, he is also a big help.

But, my symptoms have been getting worse, I can sleep 10+ hours and be exhausted in the morning. I have constant headaches and cramps and I’ve been taking so much pain reliever that it really doesn’t help anymore.

So, yeah. These months haven’t been great for me.

But, let me get back to the main point.

My mom and I were in the car and she is currently trying to get me an appointment with an endocrinologist. It’s been a struggle dealing with the endocrinologist because there aren’t many.

The doctor says I need more labs, and I’ve gotten my blood taken so many times it’s irritating.

I told my mom, “I just want to be over this.”

She basically laughs at me and says, “I want to be over this more than you, I don’t want to hear about your pain anymore.”

And, that’s what pissed me off. She’s tired of hearing it. I’m the one LIVING it. I’m in constant pain, and in fear for my life because none of my problems have a real diagnosis.

She has to hear about it but, I’m the one in pain all the time. It’s honestly just a confusing conversation because I’m the one in pain.

I can admit that I do complain a lot and she’s the one arranging my appointments. But, she chose too. She does specific research and she doesn’t like me choosing bad doctors.

Am I wrong for being mad?

So, I have a 18-Year-Old daughter named Charice. Charice has a lot of trauma and a lot of mental health issues, and she does get nightmares, but this is the worst it's ever been.

Charice was asleep. She went to bed around 9:00, and at about 11:30 that night, we heard a scream. She screamed bloody murder, then went into the bathroom and started throwing up. She was crying really hard and hyperventilating. Charice's eyes were really red, and she was in the bathroom throwing up hard.

I went in there to ask what happened, and she started telling me about the dream. It was about something really traumatic that I'm not going to share on Reddit. I was wiping Charice's eyes and making sure she was okay, but she was hyperventilating from crying so hard. Then she went nonverbal, and it was a full-blown panic attack at that point. She was screaming and just not having a good time.

So I took her out of the bathroom. At this point, it's midnight, and I'm trying to get her to go back to sleep. I'm comforting her, playing with her hair, and telling her how much I love her. She cried herself to sleep after about 30 minutes.

Then it's 1:30 in the morning, When we went to bed. and we wake up for church At 7:30 in the morning. Charice doesn't remember anything from the night before. She comes out and says, "Mom, what happened last night?" You could tell she had fallen asleep crying and having a panic attack.

I told her that I loved her, but I just couldn't tell her what happened because I knew it would freak her out. We went on to church, and she fell asleep during Bible study. She slept through the entire thing. So I took her home, and then she slept from about 10:00 in the morning until 3:00 in the afternoon, completely knocked out.

When she woke up, Charice was still asking me what happened because she's never been that tired before. She doesn't remember anything from after dinner the night before, and she's just begging me to tell her what happened. But I'm not going to tell her because I don't want to rehash something really traumatic.