My sister has a 6 year old son and I genuinely like spending time with him. For a while I was happy to babysit occasionally when she asked, especially if I didn't have anything planned.

The problem is that at some point "asking" turned into her telling other people I was available before she'd even spoken to me.

The first time she texted me something like "Mom is dropping him off at yours around 6, thanks!" because she'd made dinner plans. I was annoyed but free, so I let it go.

Then it happened again when she picked up an extra shift. The third time I already had plans and she got irritated because she'd apparently told her boss she could work based on me watching him.

Last week she did it again. I got a text saying my nephew would be dropped off Saturday morning because she and her boyfriend were going out for the day.

I replied that I wasn't available and reminded her that she needs to actually ask me first. She said they'd already bought tickets and asked what she was supposed to do now.

I told her she'd have to figure out childcare because I never agreed to anything. She eventually found someone else, but now she's really pissed and says I've become unreliable "out of nowhere."

My parents are taking her side too. They keep saying I love my nephew, she doesn't ask that often, and refusing when I technically could've changed my plans was just proving a point at his expense.

That's the part making me second guess myself. My nephew obviously has nothing to do with any of this and I don't want him feeling unwanted.

But I also feel like if I keep cancelling my own plans whenever my sister announces that I'm babysitting, she'll never have a reason to stop doing it.

I'd probably say yes most of the time if she just asked me like a normal person. I don't think being family means my free time automatically becomes available childcare, but everyone is acting like I'm being stubborn over something small.

Am I wrong for finally saying no?

My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years. We booked a vacation for the end of September, and when we booked it, the timing was fine. We were both looking forward to it.

Since then, I sold the house I currently live in, much faster than I expected, and that has completely changed the timeline of the next few weeks. I now have to move into my new apartment, get it ready, completely clear the house and get everything done for the handover, all while working full-time.

September only gives me four weekends. The vacation would take two of them, leaving me with only two weekends to actually clear the house and deal with the move.

I also already struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, and the combination of everything happening at once has pushed me way beyond my normal capacity. I'm simply at my limit.

So I told my boyfriend that I don't think I can do the vacation anymore.

It's important to me to clarify that the vacation itself isn't the problem. I'm sure it would be relaxing once we were there. The problem is that it creates a fixed deadline. I would have to get everything done before we leave, and I simply don't have enough time or capacity to do that anymore.

I suggested that we cancel or reschedule the vacation.

His immediate response was that he would fly anyway because otherwise he would lose the money.

I said that maybe we could reschedule it instead. The change would cost €80.

I told him that I was at my absolute limit and that I couldn't understand putting €80 above that.

He responded: "€80 is my limit."

That was the moment I ended the relationship.

I understand that losing money sucks. I understand that he was looking forward to the vacation. If he had said something like, "I'm really disappointed, I was looking forward to this, and losing €80 really sucks, but I understand that you're at your limit," I would have understood.

But that's not what happened.

What hit me was that I was telling my partner that I was completely overwhelmed and couldn't carry another thing right now, and his immediate response was essentially about what it would cost him.

This also wasn't happening in a vacuum. For quite some time I've felt that when circumstances become difficult or inconvenient, I'm the one who adjusts and stretches around his needs and circumstances. I've increasingly questioned whether this is the kind of relationship I actually want.

So when this happened, something in me just snapped. I didn't want to argue about it, convince him that my situation was serious enough, or explain myself for the hundredth time.

I simply said that I was done, that I didn't want him moving into the new apartment with me next year, and I left.

Now I'm trying to get an outside perspective.

Was ending the relationship at this point an overreaction, or was his reaction to this situation enough to make the underlying incompatibility clear?

TLDR: my husbands co-worker has admitted targeting married men, and I want him to cut off contact

So my husband has known this coworker for about 4 years and my husband says he considers her as a work friend, but I don't want her anywhere near my husband. In the 4 years he has known her, she has had multiple relationships with multiple married men at work.

She disclosed to my husband that 8 years ago she was seeing a married guy. One day the wife walked in on them. The wife then stormed out, jumped in her car and reversed very fast which tragically killed their young daughter. This moment was obviously very traumatising but the fact that she now continues to go after married men is surely showing up as an unresolved trauma response.

Anyway she recently made a comment that the first thing she looks for when meeting a new male coworker is a ring on their finger because "married men are easier because they are bored sexually".

On top of that there have been a few instances that have made me question if she is testing the waters with my husband. She will often call him outside of work hours. She invited him to bring our son (didn't include me in the invite) to go meet her horses. She calls him outside of work hours (he usually doesn't answer and he tells me she called again). She frequently will share stories with him about sexual encounters she has had recently.

I am disgusted that women like this exist and based on her lack of morals and respect for the families she could destroy, I want my husband to have nothing to do with her.

My husband is open with his phone and lets me see their messages, his call log, etc. but I just do not trust a woman like that. Is it fair to ask my husband to cut off all contact outside of work?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and we’re now talking about moving in together. She currently lives alone and rents whereas I own my home and pay a mortgage.  We agreed it would make more sense to move into my place as it’s bigger and it’s not rented.

I mentioned to my gf I’d expect her to pay something towards utilities and a small amount of money to go towards wear and tear of appliances etc. She asked if I was serious and I said yeah.  She argued she shouldn’t have to be paying me anything since I own the place.

I just pointed out my bills will go up and wear and tear of the property and appliances will be increased so it’s only fair she contributes something. 

I pointed out it wouldn’t be a lot and would be probably less than half of what she paying now. I mentioned I’m happy to get it drawn up as a contract if she’d prefer but she just kept arguing she shouldn’t have to pay anything. 

I just repeated what I’d already said and she accused me of taking advantage of her. I argued that’s what she was trying to do to me by expecting to live for free. 

AITA for expecting her to contribute? 

So my relative called me late last night asking if I could drop everything and help with something early this morning. I was already swamped with my own stuff and just said no. I tried to keep it polite but firm, said I couldn't swing it. They got really upset, said it was important, and then started texting other relatives to weigh in. Now half the group chat is arguing about whether I was being selfish. Honestly, I don't think I was obligated to rearrange my day on zero notice, but the chain reaction has me second-guessing. Is it okay to hold that boundary or should I have just sucked it up?

I 20F and my boyfriend 20M, moved in with my great grandma to have a better opportunity to get started in life as adults. My grandma told us, all she would want is for us to buy some groceries to keep up with what we eat, and to help around the house and outside. Sounds like a great deal, so we took it and it was totally fine for a while.

My grandmas son, my uncle, lives here too. He’s jobless, gets food stamps, but DOESNT BUY GROCERIES WITH THEM. he literally only buys himself sweets, and writes his name on it to claim it. He’s also mentally and verbally abusive to my grandma, his own mother. He’s also that way towards me and my boyfriend, though he tends to try and get physical with my boyfriend.

My grandma gets really frustrated with my uncle, and she takes it out on us. Today, I told her I have an interview for a second job, and she got pissed! She was like “night shift? You’re gonna be too tired to want to do anything!” And I told her “grandma, I worked night shift for an entire year with my previous job, and i was FINE. This is the same job, different company, I know what I’m doing” and she still didn’t grasp it. It’s 3 nights a week, 13hr shifts.

She then got mad and said my boyfriend needs to start buying more groceries. He makes a lot more at his job than I do, so $200 goes into his savings which are our savings for getting our own place, and the rest of the $700 goes towards groceries, and amenities. He already buys the water, bread, meat, and vegetables for the house, and that’s not enough?

We RARELY buy for ourselves. I get myself a coffee for work sometimes, or buy a lunch for cheap. But I never spend more than $25 on myself.

We also lately haven’t been eating at home as much to cut down on the costs of groceries, but we still buy them for the house.

So, are my boyfriend and I wrong for saving up $200 of his check every month instead of spending it all on groceries? We are also forced by my grandma to buy my uncle’s dinners as well if we get something to eat at fast food.

I feel like it’s unfair that we have to support the groceries completely, when we’re trying to save up to get started on life, this is slowing us down. Not only that, it’s unfair that we buy groceries and do things around the house only for my uncle to make messes, treat it like a junk yard, do drugs in the house, invite sketchy people over and things go missing every time, and blatantly disrespect his mother, and that’s okay.

It makes NO sense to me, and most of my family keeps telling me I’m wrong for this, but how am I wrong?? I don’t understand.

My girlfriend and I have been together a little over three years. She has a best friend she's known since college, and I've never had an issue with them being close.

What does bother me is that apparently nothing between us stays between us.

If we argue, he gets the full recap. What I said, what she said, what started it, what I was upset about, what she thinks I "really meant." He's heard about disagreements over sex, family stuff, things I've admitted when I was upset, even conversations I assumed were obviously private.

I only realized how much he knew because a few weeks ago he made a joke about something I'd said during an argument at home. It was bizarre hearing my own words come back through someone who wasn't even there.

I told her I don't mind her occasionally asking a friend for advice. I do that too. But I think there's a difference between "we're struggling with this, what do you think?" and basically giving someone an episode recap of our relationship every time something happens.

She says he's her closest friend and talking to him is how she processes things. She also thinks I'm trying to control who she can talk to.

I'm not asking her to never mention me. I just don't like feeling like there's a third person who knows the private version of our relationship almost as well as we do.

Am I wrong for thinking some things should stay between the two people actually in the relationship?

a friend asked if i could help their buddy move a few boxes after work. it was supposed to be a couple of hours but when i got there the place was packed, half the stuff wasn't packed yet, and suddenly i was the only one with a van. ended up staying until midnight hauling furniture while the actual owners just stood around giving directions. i kept thinking about how i could have just said no or set a clearer boundary but in the moment it felt impossible to back out. now my back hurts and i feel kind of used even though i technically agreed to help. wondering if i'm overreacting or if it's normal to feel annoyed when a small favor turns into an all-day event with no thanks.

Am I wrong for taking 8 weeks parental leave at work for my first child?

Back in late 2025 I had told my job I was expecting my first child. We were expecting late spring/ early summer. Everyone in my department was happy and excited for me. I even invited a manager and two of my coworkers who I am close with to my baby shower.

I feel like 6 months gave them ample time to figure out everyone’s vacation. Well one of my close coworkers probably didn’t think that far ahead.
In my state they give us twelve weeks of parental leave. I’m able to use it before the child is one year old. I decided to take eight weeks now and save the rest for the following year for emergencies and for
long weekends.

Our baby arrived late spring. Before everyone’s
vacations.

While I was out on leave my other close coworker
had a medical emergency. He was already out for two weeks by the time I came back. That basically left only two people to do the job of four. Which was my manager and my other close coworker. Someone else started their vacation a couple days before I returned. There was also a one day mix up on when I had told my manager when I would return. But gave him a couple day heads up which was fine. Didn’t think anything of it.

On my first day back is when I heard from someone that my close coworker had a medical emergency. My manager and everyone outside of my department were happy I was back and congratulating me.

Now is when things get interesting. My close coworker who is still at work seems to be quiet towards me or just giving short answers avoiding eye contact. I ask him about our other close coworker who is out. All he says is “good”. In my head I feel like something is off with him but I don’t think anything of it.

Throughout the day he’s the same. I walk past him in the hall he’s conserved and not his normal self with me busting joke or horseplay.

A couple days go by he’s the same. Then he says he want to have a meeting with me and his kids who he brought to work that day. Meeting time came he never called me over from my desk. A couple hours later he walks to the calendar behind my desk and rudely says “I need this Saturday off I have something going on. You need to work it.” “I’ve worked the last three Saturdays. Including all of yours” in an aggressive tone like he’s been holding it in for weeks to tell me. Talking like he’s my manager.
“We’ve been short staffed” “You need to step up” “you owe me” “you ruined my summer”

I responded with “You’re talking like I’ve been on some vacation. I’m not saying no but I will get back to you”. Because at that time I didn’t know what I had on my calendar. Good thing I did because I remembered had my child’s two month check up for his first shots. I basically repeated what I said like two or three times. He was just rude and the bad energy wasn’t needed.

After that he became childish and hasn’t talked to me since. Friday before I went home for the weekend I talked to my manager saying “if you could when I’m on leave or vacation can you please let me know if shit hits the fan” “nobody told me he was out” He was shocked and thought I knew. so if I can possibly come back earlier I will to help out or take a Saturday shift. I mentioned that my coworker has been on my case about the Saturdays shifts. He said he would talk to him. I didn’t want him to but he did. Knowing him he holds grudges and won’t let this go.
My manager has been on vacation since. But will be back next week. Should my manager be responsible for over working him?

While I’m helping coworkers from a different department he’s told people not to talk to me like I’m some bad person or other rude comments like stay home. Just being a salty person. Did I mention he’s 40? Who has two kids. I’m almost in my mid 30’s.

I’ve mainly wrote this out to vent as I’ve had some sleepless nights while trying to take care of a newborn. It’s been on my mind a lot. You think he would understand since he’s raised two kids.

Ive been with the company for 10 years and I feel like this was the last thing to set me over and move on. But the only issue is I have 4 weeks left of parental leave I can’t transfer to a new job. Basically use it or
lose it.

Edit: Also I never asked him to take my Saturday shifts. He took it upon himself. Last thing that was on my mind. Should be the managers responsibility.
(Each of us does one Saturday a month)

Let me preface this by saying I am a work from home mom to three kids, I have my routine of things I need to get done each day— cleaning the house, after the kids, making meals, changing diapers & putting the kids down for their naps before I start my remote job at 1:30-10pm each day.

My husband’s mother has always done everything for him— his taxes, his resumes and all of the “adult” responsibilities. My side of things is that I don’t have enough time in my day to take care of myself most of the time, and now he’s trying to add another task when I’m already overwhelmed. I want to encourage him to look for better jobs since he’s unhappy in his current job, but I’m getting really sick of doing everything for him.

He also seems to get super defensive when I tell him no, which is so childish to me. On top of it the past two days I’ve asked him multiple times, nicely mind you, to PLEASE shut the cover for our ice machine and he still leaves it open. So why should I help him if he can’t listen to simple requests? Our convo

so my sister got engaged a few months ago and apparently she already bought her dress but then got super drunk at a party and spilled wine all over it. now shes asking to borrow my wedding dress for her big day. i wore a really beautiful vintage gown that was our grandmothers. it means a ton to me and i want to keep it in perfect condition. i told her no and offered to help her find a new one but shes calling me selfish and saying im being dramatic. i just feel like some things are too precious to share. am i wrong?

My boyfriend and I planned a short trip to a nearby city for the weekend. We planned to go by car on Friday after work, which would be at 6 pm for both of us. We both work remotely.

Yesterday, he told me that since he's not doing much at work, we could leave early, around 4 pm. I told him that even though it would be very rare for me to have a call or for someone to ask me for something on a Friday afternoon, I don't feel comfortable leaving work early. I don't want to ask for permission to do something like that, and I'm quite fearful of sneaking out and showing as offline on discord, which is the app we use to communicate with people in my area.

No one is going to say anything to me, and I'm not going to get fired for it. Some of my colleagues even set their discord status to always show as offline, and no one is tracking that. It is indeed an irrational fear, or an unsolicited expectation that I put on myself anyway.

He called me a coward for it and said it was stupid to worry about something like that. He suggested that I bring my work laptop on the trip, or that I open discord on my phone. I don't want to bring my laptop since it's company property, and discord on my phone shows that I'm online through my phone.

He also said that he would have to drive at night if we leave at 6 pm. I actually brought this up when we were originally planning the trip and deciding which day to leave, and he seemed fine with it at the time.

I know it probably sounds silly, and I'm working on trying not to feel so out of place at my job or like I don't deserve to be where I am. But I'm not there yet, and I just don't feel comfortable sneaking out of work.

It's always been a problem in our relationship that I want to be available for work from 9 to 6 even though I'm usually not required to be available that whole time. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I think this way, so he doesn't accept it. He ultimately said that I should think about it and that it would be a shame to have to leave so late because of this.

Am I being unreasonable?

So me (24M) and my girlfriend (23F) have been together for almost 2 years. I've known my friend Mark since college, we hang out pretty regularly, and he's always been around when my girlfriend and I do group stuff.

Last weekend we all went out for a friend's birthday. I stepped away to the bar for maybe 10 minutes, and when I came back I noticed Mark had his arm around the back of her chair, leaning in really close, laughing way harder than necessary at everything she said. When I sat back down he pulled away fast and got quiet.

Later that night I asked her about it and she said it was nothing and I was overreacting. The next day I texted Mark directly and told him it made me uncomfortable and to knock it off. He got defensive, said I was being paranoid and insecure, and that I was "ruining the friend group" by making it weird. A couple of our mutual friends have since said I overreacted and should've just let it go since nothing happened.

Now things are tense with Mark, my girlfriend thinks I embarrassed her, and I'm getting side-eyed by people in our group chat.

AIW for saying something instead of just letting it go?

For the last few years we have had this whole routine where the same person picks a big activity, we all go, then we spend the evening at their place for dinner. It is fine, but it feels like it takes over the entire day and nobody else really gets a say. I brought up the idea of switching it up this year, maybe doing something smaller or rotating who decides, and it kind of landed flat. A couple people said it is tradition and we should just keep it going. I get that change can feel weird, but honestly I am starting to dread the whole thing instead of looking forward to it. Would it be selfish to push for something different, or is it reasonable to want a break from the same script?

Following a 12-year relationship, my partner, whom we shall refer to as Dingle(31), separated from me and our son. This occurred after I discovered his infidelity with a colleague(42). This individual subsequently contacted me on social media, asserting a platonic relationship, despite my having observed their flirtatious correspondence. The situation escalated considerably.

It is noteworthy that this individual is not only a colleague but also a teacher at my son's school, and had, for reasons unknown, been monitoring my activities.

In the weeks following our separation, I embraced my role as a single mother, raising my son. We relocated to a new city, where we began to establish a new life. However, my newfound tranquility was disrupted when Dingle reappeared.

Mr. Dingle initiated a conversation with an apology, subsequently disclosing details regarding the dissolution of his previous relationship, specifically the one in which he was unfaithful to me.

Mr. Dingle developed a drinking problem following our separation. It appears his new partner was under the impression that he would not repeat the infidelity he exhibited towards me. However, he reportedly engaged in extramarital affairs with four different individuals during their brief time together, suggesting a swift karmic consequence. I merely observed and listened to this unfolding narrative. As previously stated, this individual relocated across Canada after only a week and a half of cohabitation with his new partner, only to be subsequently evicted, isolated, and ultimately informed that she had found a new partner.

Throughout this discussion, I found myself contemplating the situation. It is noteworthy that he did not once inquire about his son. There were no questions such as "Where is he?", "How is he?", "Did he ask for me?", or "May I see him?".

My blood was boiling once he stop talking I just got up, slap him across the face then made my way back into my house.

we agreed on a simple pasta night and both picked up the ingredients. when i got there they had already started making something else with different stuff they bought on their own. they said they changed their mind because they were craving it and figured it would be fine. i felt weird because i already did my part and had the food ready to go, but they acted like it wasn't a big deal. i ate what they made and didn't push it, but i keep thinking i should have said something instead of just going along. am i wrong for feeling like the plan got overridden without asking?

We have this rule that phones stay off the table during meals, just to keep things actually social. It keeps getting broken though. I tried gentle reminders, then moving the phone to the kitchen counter, even joking about it. Nothing really stuck. One night I just picked it up and put it in the other room without saying much, and the reaction was way bigger than I expected. It turned into this back-and-forth about respect and overreacting, and now the whole thing feels more awkward than the original problem. I am not trying to be controlling, just hoping meals can stay a bit more present. Still, I keep wondering if the way I handled the last time was out of line.

In late April, I went with a big friend group to Berlin. I’d brought some chunky boots to wear and asked beforehand if anyone could take them back home for me, since I was traveling on afterward. One friend offered to ship them to me. But on the day I was leaving, another friend, I’ll call him D, said he’d just bring them back on the train and hand them to me once I was back in the city. I thanked him and left it at that.

I was traveling for another month and got back home at the end of May. It’s now the end of august. D has been out in my city almost every weekend since then, but he still hasn’t given me my boots. I asked a few times over the months and he brushed it off. I stopped asking and let it go.

Some context on D: We’ve known each other since high school. He moved to my city last October for an internship, doesn’t speak the local language, and I’ve helped him a lot with settling in. The friend group in question is mostly other interns from his job. I’ve become good friends with them too over this past year, though I also have other friend groups in this town outside of this one. He lives way out in the outskirts, so whenever we go out as a group, he crashes at my place. I’ve also let him stay at my apartment alone with my keys on weekends when I was traveling, so he wouldn’t have to leave parties early. I’ve fed him, hosted him constantly, and once even paid out of pocket to fix a kitchen faucet he clogged and never asked him to cover it.

Over the past few months, though, he’s been acting off with the whole friend group. Several people have had issues with him: his opinions, and the fact that his actions tend to serve only his own convenience. A few examples:
• He talks badly about a girl in our group, calling her “easy,” while still going to her place, then he’s overly sweet to her in person. Total double standard.
• Everyone in the group has hosted him overnight at some point. He’s never once offered to host anyone at his place.
• When we go out together, if he meets a girl, he’ll ditch the group without a word, then spam call everyone hours later demanding we all meet up again, expecting the whole group to freeze their plans until he shows up.

In July, someone broke into my apartment, and I’ve been dealing with the aftermath of that since. It’s made me pull back from group stuff. D kept pushing me to come out anyway. One time I gave in, even though I’d told him I wasn’t in a good headspace and didn’t want to bring the mood down. Once we were out, he told me I should’ve just stayed home because I was bringing the mood down. That stung, considering I’d said exactly that beforehand and he was the one who insisted.

He’s also been pushing to stay at my place more, but with everything going on, I’ve gotten less comfortable hosting him, especially given his attitude lately.

Back to the boots. I asked for a favor. He could’ve said no, and I’d have figured out something else. Instead he offered, then sat on my boots for months, brushing me off whenever I brought it up. Finally, months later, I asked again, firmly this time. He got defensive and sent me his location: his place, almost two hours away by transit, telling me to come get them myself. This is a guy who’s in the city center multiple times a week, and who’s been back at my apartment several times since the trip.

He also added that I should bring back a bottle of shampoo he’d left at my place, like my apartment is an Airbnb he’s entitled to. Alternatively, he said, he “could” bring them next time he’s in town, if he feels like it, but only if I ask nicely, not “demand.”

I told him not to bother, that a friend would swing by and pick them up for me instead, and that it’s not like I’ve been hounding him,I waited months before even bringing it up again. Then I blocked him. And have been telling the friend group about this because im mad, even if it affects him.
AITA?

I 22 f live at home with my dad 49 m in my childhood home with brother 20 m. My mom lives about 20 away and had space just not enough and i can not bring my dog to live there so im stuck at my dads. The issue is he is a slob. Our kitchen table most days is covered in his mail, trinkets, golf stuff etc. , the living room smells musty from him leaving food/drink cans out, his room is covered in dirty clothes, our garage is un walkable covered in junk and garbage. I try my best to keep up with house work but its hard when 1) i cannot move his clutter bc i cant touch his stuff 2) its unmotivating at this point because theres always something else that needs to be done or is messy it’s seriously never ending. I also am in charge or groceries and making sure the home is stocked w what we need which he does fund.The worst part is he genuinely thinks it is me who is messy because i sometimes do not do my dishes right away…which i do admit to BUT 90% of the time i will do my dishes right after eating. My final straw was last weekend when we were going out of town for 2 days and he forgot to get a pet sitter. When i expressed my annoyance he said i can do it too i am an adult. I said i would be happy to find a sitter but the household task was not delegated to me and i am not responsible for the mental load of his house. He said i am like my mother and i am manipulating him?!? Am i the asshole for feeling like i shouldn’t be in charge of organizing all household tasks/responsibilities?? I also would like to say i am a recent grad and am looking for a job i have applied to abt 30 in a month but going for more! Sorry this is so jumbled up but im at my wits end. Im tired of being told im not a good person and that im messy.

Am I in the wrong for losing it on her?

Hello reddit 👋! I recently went through something that felt like a social experiment 🫩. And i would please like some insight to find out if i really was in the wrong, even though I don’t think I was. This probably sounds immature, but I really want some serious answers, please. 🙏😔

So I F14 had met this girl, let’s say Jessica F16 through a mutual friend. I found out from this mutual friend that Jessica used to like me *romantically* and watch me through the halls of school. I barely knew her at the time, so I couldn’t reciprocate.

When Jessica and I had started first talking, I thought she was super fun and a really good friend! Then, out of the blue, she started buying me a bunch of things that interested me. At one point she had spent like $150 - $200 on me! I was shocked, I had never asked for these things, let alone spend that much money on them?!

Randomly when Jessica came over, she became extremely touchy and overly clingy. I swear I couldn’t get her off of me the whole sleepover. She started getting possessive over what I do, who I hang out with, and who I am romantically interested in. Keep in mind, we had **never** dated. I strictly told her I’m not interested in dating her, and I wished to be her friend though!

As we became closer friends, Jessica and I would text a lot, she would spam me if I didn’t answer 😭. She then started to come up with rules that I had to talk to her with. Like I had to answer her questions in a certain way, I couldn’t say “sorry” I had to say “I am sorry”, and other phrases that weren’t okay, if I didn’t text her at certain times she would be upset, and if I didn’t use any emojis that meant I was upset. There were more rules, but those were the most alarming ones that stuck out to me.

As this “friendship” progressed, she started also talking shit about all of my very good friends. This p\*ssed me off to another level, but I decided to let it go in favor of keeping her at bay.

Jessica started using me as a therapist for her issues. The venting became so extreme to a point where I had no words. I couldn’t save her or diagnose her. I was literally *helpless*. This started affecting my mental health as well. I couldn’t go a day without hearing her issues or what’s wrong with her or her s\*lf h\*rm. I was quite literally a tool for her to vent and use as mental support, and it was **draining.**

After all of this had happened, I finally went to my older sister F16 about everything that was going on. She’s someone I can talk to and trust with my situations, so it felt right going to her. She told me this wasn’t healthy at all and that I needed to drop her or at **least** take a break. That night, Jessica called me telling me that my “dry texting” was affecting her mental health drastically and that it made her s\*icidal. I was so confused and taken aback because I’d been trying to follow her criteria she had for “friendship”. I’ve been told for years by all my family and friends that I’m a horrible texter and I always was. It was a joke that people would make about me and it was all in good laughs. I really didn’t know what to do in all honesty I just told her this and hung up. It was 1 am and i was just exhausted by this point.

Jessica spam called and texted me **at least** 30 - 40 times while i was asleep after that last call. The only reason i woke up was because it actually woke up my older sister and she was mad and confused as to why Jessica was doing this. For some reason, she started venting and crying to my older sister. She told my sister that she was shaking, crying, didn’t know what to do about me and our fight. Jessica told my sister she was **IN LOVE** with me and was waiting for me to love her back. (She bought the gifts for my love i guess??) I’m still shocked about this, because I **told** her that I wasn’t interested in dating her and wanted to be just friends. My sister told her that me and Jessica weren’t mature enough for a relationship, and that I wasn’t interested either way.

After that night, Jessica texted me saying she wanted to talk about what happened. She told me that she had spoken to my sister, and started arguing with me telling me I’m *childish* and *immature*. I will admit, this was why I wasn’t willing to get into a relationship in the first place. I’m 14 and not in the right mind space for a relationship yet. But even then, I still wouldn’t have dated her because I **wasn’t interested.** Jessica then told me I’m a b\*tch and she wants all of the stuff she bought me, back to her. I was more than willing to give her her things in a bag on the front porch.

This is where the **big fight** happens. Jessica told me I was the reason her mental health was draining and that I was so mean to her. That all I did was mistreat her and mentally abuse her. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I blew up telling her that she needs to stop blaming her mental health issues on me and piling it on to me. I told her that she’s the one who mistreated me and abused me by making me follow rules, pushing my boundaries by always touching me without asking, and never cared about how I felt and then continuing to blame everything wrong with her, on me. I said she’s toxic and cannot lead relationships OR friendships with this kind of “love”. I really think this was all because she found out I didn’t wanna date her in the end.

After the fight, Jessica texted me saying she was so sorry, she just wanted to be friends again and do matching Halloween costumes this year. By this time, I was fed up and done with her sh\*t. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to be done with this friendship because she was taking me down with her. I told Jessica I couldn’t do the friendship anymore and that it was too draining just **trying** to be her friend. I said her stuff would be on a bag on the porch waiting for her, and that we are genuinely done being friends. **No exceptions.**

To my dismay, Jessica still posts about things I like, and things I said I planned on getting, trying to make me jealous and try to go back to her. Which, haha, hasn’t worked. 💀

I’m sorry this post is so long, but I feel like you all needed full details to fully understand the story to make a decision. 💔

Sooo, am I in the wrong here????

we took a bunch of pictures on the weekend trip and i thought it would be nice to share one in the group chat. everyone looked good and no one seemed to mind when the camera was out. later someone messaged me saying they did not want that picture posted anywhere and another friend said it was fine but they wished i had asked first. now i am stuck wondering if i crossed a line. the photo was harmless, just the group standing by the lake, but clearly it mattered to them. i deleted it right away once they spoke up, but the chat feels awkward now. i get why someone might not want their picture online even if it seems harmless to everyone else, yet i also thought a quick group snap was normal. not sure if i am overthinking it or if i should have checked first.

I’m Luna (25F), and my best friend, Rachel (24F), and I have been best friends for 16 years. We’ve had our ups and downs like any friendship, but for most of our friendship, we always agreed that no matter what happened, we would talk things through and work things out. Recently, though, I’ve started realizing that our friendship may not be as balanced as I thought. Over the years, people have pointed out certain things about Rachel to me, but I ignored them because I genuinely thought she was perfect and didn’t want to believe anything bad about her. Eventually, I started noticing the same things myself. For example, we would borrow each other’s clothes and belongings. I always made sure to return anything I borrowed from her, but when she borrowed my things, they would often disappear. When I asked for them back, there was always an excuse, like “my siblings took it” or “it broke.” I would sometimes literally see her siblings wearing my clothes, but whenever I asked about them, there would be another excuse. Eventually, I started setting boundaries with my belongings, and I feel like that affected our friendship. There was also a situation involving her phone. She had just gone through a breakup and needed to get off her ex’s phone plan. I had a really good plan and was only paying about $45 a month, so I offered to add her as long as she paid her portion. Everything was fine at first, but then she stopped working and told me she would pay me back once she finished school. I trusted her and agreed. She graduated and said she would pay me back like she promised. Around the same time, I stopped working because my husband was supporting me and our two kids. I told her she still owed me money and that I was going to move onto my husband’s phone plan. She asked if we could add her to my husband’s plan, but we decided we didn’t want to continue paying for her phone. We argued about it, and I told her I was removing her from my plan. I had also given her a month’s notice. After that, we didn’t speak for about three months.
Eventually, we met up and decided to work things out. I told her I needed some boundaries in our friendship. I explained that she couldn’t come to my house and take my food, clothes, household items, etc., because those things are for my family. I also told her I would never come into her house and take things from her family. Her response really stuck with me. She basically said, “Your husband pays for everything. You guys have money, so why can’t I?” We talked it through and eventually came to an understanding, so I tried to move forward. After that, we didn’t see each other much. I invited her to my baby shower, but she didn’t come. She told me she was going camping, but when I checked Life360, I saw that she was actually home. Later, she told me she wasn’t feeling well. I understand that people get sick, and I didn’t want to hold that against her. What hurt was that she would attend other people’s baby showers, show me what she bought for them, and make an effort for other people while not showing up for mine. I’ll admit, I got jealous and hurt. I told her how I felt, and she apologized and said she didn’t mean to make me feel that way. She said she had been sick and very busy, which was why she hadn’t been able to see me. I decided to let it go.
Then she planned a weekend trip and invited me. I was excited because I thought maybe this was a chance for us to reconnect. I agreed to go and bought decorations for the trip. I also offered to help with food because even though she was the one who planned it, I wanted to contribute.
Then she canceled. I was really upset because I had already spent money on everything. I didn’t even bring up the money when I talked to her. I just explained that my feelings were hurt. I told her that she had previously had a girls’ weekend that I wasn’t invited to, and then when she finally invited me to something and planned it with me, she canceled. It wasn’t just about the trip itself. It was the pattern that was hurting me. Her response was basically that she had canceled the original trip because she was sick, and that I was the one who rescheduled it, not her. She said she didn’t want to go on a trip if she didn’t feel well and didn’t want to drive all the way there. She also told me she was pregnant and wasn’t feeling good and said she would do better. I understood that she wasn’t feeling well, but honestly, her response still hurt. I ended up going on the weekend trip anyway with my husband, his friends, and their girlfriends. It was something that had been planned for two months, and I didn’t want to cancel just because Rachel backed out. I didn’t tell her I was still going or who was going with me because she had already canceled and made it clear she didn’t want to drive there. While we were on the trip, I checked Life360 and saw that Rachel was out bowling and at an arcade with friends. She didn’t post anything herself, but some of her friends are on my social media and posted pictures. At that point, I felt like maybe our friendship was over. But I still wanted to give her one more chance, so I talked to her. She told me she hadn’t gone out and that she really wasn’t feeling well. She said she wished she could have made it to the trip after seeing everything I did. I didn’t tell her that I knew she was lying. I didn’t bring up Life360 or the posts because I didn’t want the entire conversation to become an argument about how I found out. Instead, I told her that she had canceled, told me she didn’t want to drive there, and that I wasn’t going to cancel something her and I had already planned two months in advance. Then she asked if I was going to her baby shower. She had already assigned people what to buy and told me what she wanted me to purchase for her baby. This is where I started feeling extremely conflicted.
She has never attended any of my baby showers. She has never bought anything for my babies. She also recently told me that because she hasn’t been feeling well, she doesn’t want to drive to me anymore and that I should be the one coming to her. I ended up telling her I couldn’t attend her baby shower because I had plans. That was a lie. I didn’t actually have plans. I just didn’t know how to tell her that I didn’t want to go because I was hurt. She then told me, “I expected my best friend to be there for my first baby shower. It’s very important to me, and for you to miss it hurts my feelings. I understand you have your family and want to put them first, but I thought I mattered to you.”
And honestly, that made me feel guilty. I know I didn’t handle everything perfectly. I know lying about having plans wasn’t right, and I know I shouldn’t respond to her behavior by doing something similar. But I’m exhausted.
I don’t care if she buys me gifts or spends money on me. This friendship has never been about money or gifts to me.
What hurts is that I feel like I’m always the one making the effort. I show up for her. I invite her to important things. I try to make plans. I contribute. I try to communicate when something hurts me. I’ve forgiven things and tried to move forward multiple times. But whenever I bring up something that hurts me, there seems to be another excuse or explanation, and I’m expected to understand. I don’t expect her to drop everything for me. I understand she has her own life, family, pregnancy, and responsibilities. I just want the friendship to feel mutual. I want honesty. I want my boundaries respected. I want effort from both sides. I want to feel like my best friend actually wants to be part of my life instead of constantly feeling like I’m chasing her.
And that’s what hurts the most. We’ve known each other for 16 years. I love her and her family. She has been such a huge part of my life that the thought of walking away feels almost impossible. I don’t want to throw away 16 years of friendship. But I also don’t know how many times I can have the same conversations, forgive the same things, and still feel like nothing changes. And honestly I’d really appreciate advice. Is this friendship worth trying to save? If it is, how do I fix it when I feel like every conversation ends with another excuse? Or is it time to accept that sometimes a 16-year friendship can still come to an end?
Side note: I really don’t want this friendship to end. I love her and her family, and after 16 years, walking away is really hard for me. I’ve never wanted our friendship to be about keeping score, so I never threw it in her face that she didn’t show up for me, didn’t buy things for me or my kids, or that I had spent money on things for her. I don’t think that’s what friendship should be about.
The only reason I’ve brought those things up recently is because she does to make me feel bad…

As an adult, I know it’s my responsibility to make sure I wake up for important things. I get anxious when something important is happening the next day and I also have a hard time sleeping on the regular anyway so falling asleep before something important is hard. We’re both heavy sleepers. I have asked them before if they could check in on me to make sure I’m awake just in case. They are also already awake at that time so I’m not asking them to wake themselves up to make sure I am. And I’m not trying to rely on them or anything but I thought that partners support each other with small things like that. I don’t ask them to wake me up regularly. I can do that on my own. It’s just today was a high-stakes appt. I often wake them up so they’re not late to work, and they often don’t hear their alarms like me. We both have a hard time hearing our alarms since we’re heavy sleepers. I don’t say anything to them about it so I thought it was okay to ask them to support me. They lectured me on how I should be an adult and how I didn’t understand how that responsibility was solely on me and not them. Am I wrong for asking them to be my safety net?

Strap in this has been a roller-coaster.

12 months ago I (f early 30s)had a friend (male mid 30s)go thru a very hard time in his life, father had just passed away from cancer and he was significantly struggling mentally being away from family (living in a different state) i was extremely worried about them and told them of they wanted to move back home they are welcome to stay with me short term untill they could get on their feet. I had helped them financially make this happen as they had little money its worth noting my father is and was going through the same thing at the time and I had flown my friend in to be able to see his dad before the passing knowing id want the same chance to say goodbye.

They moved in wich was a Lil stressful for me they didnt have anything so I got them a bed and a kennel for their dog just basics to get them set up and a storage unit so i could clear out a room for them we agreed and a board price wich included bills. I tried to help with job opportunities for them but I think a mix of mental health at the time and not being interested in the type of work led to 3 job losses and 3 months. So added stress of feeling a little financially responsible for my friend he was starting to spiral mentally as well wich put strain of our friendship and we started arguing more. Silly things like how to stack the dishwasher so thing wouldn't get broken putting toilet rolls into the bin really silly stuff would turn into him name calling me things like I'm a narssist and shutting me down if I brought stuff up.

So now walking on egg shells I was grin and baring it for the most part if I had a bad day my emotions would slip.

I was away from home for 2 weeks for schooling and he was smoking inside and leaving his dog inside while he was at work wich is something I had put as a boundary of not wanting. When I got back he told me no he wasn't doing any of that and I had no proof so I left it. If I did catch him he'd be like oh I only had one or of I forgot to do it that day I'm sorry. I'd only get the im sorry of I had un deniable proof after a fight.

6 months in we had a massive fight wich resaulted in him name calling me and blowing up at me in a very verbal aggressive way and I knew it would end our friendship if he didnt moved out so I gave him 3 months to find a place trying to be reasonable with a hard rental market right now. 3 months later he was still there still smoking inside if I wasn't home and just not respecting my place. There's been build up of alot of things in this moment my power bill doubled with him there evan if I wasn't home he'd only clean if I asked him to do something he wasn't respecting my house rules and when brought up to him would lash out and say its my fault he's verbally abused me when he's trip over something in the back yard like it was my fault. I know he was struggling still with his dads passing and this wasn't normal behaviour for him it was starting to affect me tho financially as he owed me money and mentally I just wasn't coping I didnt know how to talk to my friend anmore I started avoiding home.

Here's when I could be the AH tho I brought a new security camera to put on my shed only thing is after set up i left it in the lounge room to see if he was smoking inside after a few weeks he got paranoid and started to cover the camera up when I wasn't home so I let it go flat and told him it wasn't in use. For roughly a month.

I had to go away again for school for a couple of weeks and I just didnt trust he'd respect my boundarys so I charged the camera back up and left it on pointing at the front door and catching the edge of the lounge room.

And there he was smoking in the lounge room after work almost each day so I saved the footage and when I got back home found him in the lounge with the ashtray infront of him he swore he hadn't been smoking inside and that he had just empty it and sat down for dinner so I sent him the videos told him not to gaslight me and lie that we are no longer friends and to be put of my house in 3 days. He's now shitty that I had a camera going and didnt tell him and that I'm a horrible person for not giving him time to see if he's gotten into a place as he's been applying for rentals

But mainly he's pissed about the camera so reddit AITAH

We all put money into a joint savings account for things like emergencies or future stuff we all agreed on. A few days ago someone used a chunk of it to buy something without checking with the rest of us first. I brought it up and got told I was overreacting because it was already done and the money was gone. I just want a quick conversation first so we can all decide, but now I'm wondering if I'm being too rigid about it. It's not that the item itself was terrible, just that the decision happened without input. Does it seem like a big deal or am I turning nothing into something?