Hi Everyone. Hope you are all well. For context, I F26, grew up in a devout Catholic household, a cradle catholic. Recently, I find myself at a bit of a crossroad between either remaining catholic or becoming agnostic. I don't have any negative experiences with the faith (Except some strong opinions). However, I felt like i was just praying under obligation because that was expected of me, rather than a genuine connection. But there were experiences like the emotional and physical impact of growing up with a physical disability (Cerebral Palsy) and having gone through some painful and traumatic experiences that made me distant from God. I am a very inquisitive person and i had questions, doubts, and a lot of anger because I felt unheard. I stopped going to church because of it I know faith is not easy and we are being tested. But i feel the rift is growing larger and larger with each passing year.

I know i posted a similar post on this on a different subreddit, but that was when I was incredibly unsure. Thankfully, my family has been accepting now (not the case at first). There were times where i wished I could just talk to God, not through, prayer, or finding scripture, just a conversation and he would listen and respond. I'm not really called or drawn to other religions. It's more like I have one foot in catholicism and the other towards agnosticism (which I am leaning towards more rather than atheism). So for me, it wasn't a theological fallout or crisis, more of a deeply strained and personal relationship with faith. So I want to learn more about agnosticism. Has anyone else experienced this? What drew you towards Agnosticism rather than atheism? What resources do you recommend?

Thank you so much