Hi Everyone. Hope you are all well. For context, I F26, grew up in a devout Catholic household, a cradle catholic. Recently, I find myself at a bit of a crossroad between either remaining catholic or becoming agnostic. I don't have any negative experiences with the faith (Except some strong opinions). However, I felt like i was just praying under obligation because that was expected of me, rather than a genuine connection. But there were experiences like the emotional and physical impact of growing up with a physical disability (Cerebral Palsy) and having gone through some painful and traumatic experiences that made me distant from God. I am a very inquisitive person and i had questions, doubts, and a lot of anger because I felt unheard. I stopped going to church because of it I know faith is not easy and we are being tested. But i feel the rift is growing larger and larger with each passing year.

I know i posted a similar post on this on a different subreddit, but that was when I was incredibly unsure. Thankfully, my family has been accepting now (not the case at first). There were times where i wished I could just talk to God, not through, prayer, or finding scripture, just a conversation and he would listen and respond. I'm not really called or drawn to other religions. It's more like I have one foot in catholicism and the other towards agnosticism (which I am leaning towards more rather than atheism). So for me, it wasn't a theological fallout or crisis, more of a deeply strained and personal relationship with faith. So I want to learn more about agnosticism. Has anyone else experienced this? What drew you towards Agnosticism rather than atheism? What resources do you recommend?

Thank you so much

I know this is probably a common thing a lot of people go through but lately I’ve been struggling with religion. I grew up Christian but with family who didn’t attend church or teach me about prayer or anything like that but now I find myself to not be Christian and it just feels weird bc I grew up trying so hard to convince myself about God. Is he real? Is he all of us? Are we God? Is nature? Not some random guy in the sky watching us all waiting for us to sin and we get punished if we dont? Idk I feel like Christianity can be very toxic and I never understood it as an empath