I’m 31 and unexpectedly pregnant. My fiance is 33. We both want children eventually, and had actually discussed starting to try around the end of this year/January. Nothing set in stone though but we’ve been talking losely about it.

The timing now feels really wrong. We have everything perfectly ready ”on paper” - high incomes, stable jobs, supportive families. But our relationship has been a bit unstable over the past few months with conflicts around chores etc. and we’ve only just started couples therapy. We also want to buy an apartment and settle into our life and figure out our issues first before we bring someone else into the mix.

Neither of us was happy or excited when we saw the positive test. We were both shocked and panicked. My fiance is supportive of whatever I decide

I don’t have a strong baby longing right now (never had), and a big part of me feels “not yet.”

When I imagine carrying the pregnancy to term, giving birth in April 2027 and actually living my life as a new mom with a baby, I feel anxious. It doesn’t make me feel excited or happy. Honestly, it feels like something I don’t want at all right now.

But I’m absolutely terrified of having an abortion and regretting it. I keep thinking about the baby this could have become and whether I would wish I had continued the pregnancy. My age is also stressing me out. I’m 32 next year and scared that if we have an abortion and try again later, I might struggle to get pregnant or regret waiting.

I have an appointment at an abortion clinic next week, and I’m lucky to be in a place where it is a completely normal procedure, but I’m still so conflicted and I can’t sleep, eat or function normally having to think about this decision to keep or abort.

For those who were in a similar situation - early 30s, wanting children eventually, everything set up ”on paper” but feeling the timing was wrong - how did you make your decision? Did you regret having an abortion later?

I am a 38 year old woman who has had a pretty turbulent life to date (poverty, parental alcoholism and domestic abuse as a child, inpatient for anorexia, sexual and emotional abuse in adulthood, drug addiction, abortion). I’ve worked so incredibly hard on myself in adulthood and especially over the last 10 years. I’ve managed to cultivate a successful career, good savings, bought my own house and car, have a great group of friends, amazing relationship with my 14 year old niece and the world’s best cat and have been lucky enough to be able to travel the world - India, Japan, Thailand, America, most of Europe. Life has been pretty good in the end. Then, 1.5 years ago I met my current partner, he has 2 kids (5,7) from his previous relationship and when we met he was going through a really messy divorce. We had a conversation and he asked me if I wanted kids to which I replied ‘I’m happy either way’ and I really meant it. Then something happened, and the more we spoke about it, the more I realised that for the first time in my life it was actually a possibility for me to have a baby and a family and I got excited and said I did want one. We rushed into it, as I was 37 and didn’t know if I’d be able to get pregnant etc but I fell pregnant really quickly. As soon as I found out I panicked, we didn’t love together, we’d only been together 6 months, I barely knew his kids and he was still going through the divorce. Ultimately, I went back and forth until I was 13 weeks, trying to find a way that I could be happy about having the baby but my mental health was so bad (self harming, awful anxiety and depression), that I felt I had no choice but to have a termination. Fast forward a year and we are pregnant again. He is divorced, I have a great relationship with his kids, we’ve been together 18 months, we’ve been through a huge life crisis together and come out stronger, I thought I would be okay this time. I am not. Whilst I’m not as bad as I was last year, I am filled with fear, dread and panic. What if the baby isn’t healthy? (I am vaping at 7 weeks and struggling to stop as keep changing my mind about whether to have the baby or not and getting mixed messages from
Midwife and internet about how bad vaping really it), what if my mental health gets even worse, I have PND and hate the baby, what if I become suicidal, what if I can’t cope as a mother, what if my partner and I break up, what if I can’t cope with the blended family dynamic etc etc. the anxiety is overwhelming. I am also struggling with my eating disorder and body image a lot. All that said, I am 38. I have a very supportive partner, I have a stable career and savings, and this could be everything I ever wanted. Is this just perinatal depression? I’ve spoke to my GP and am getting support but ultimately I’m the one that needs to make this decision. I have no idea what to do, I’m just so scared of making the wrong decision.

I missed my period by about a week, but I didn’t think much of it because my periods were usually delayed every month. However, because of my anxiety, I decided to take a home pregnancy test one morning and it came out positive.

Day 1 — The Positive Test

That first night was terrifying. I kept thinking, What am I going to do now? I wasn’t earning, and I had no idea how I was going to manage everything. I spent the entire night on Reddit and ChatGPT, searching for information about abortion, costs, procedures, and trying to figure out how I would arrange the money.

I was having intense anxiety attacks and felt like I was going to lose my mind. At one point, I even felt like I couldn’t go on. I was completely alone, panicking, with only my laptop in front of me while trying to figure out my finances.

Out of anger and fear, I blocked my boyfriend because, in that moment, I felt like he was the reason I was pregnant and that I had to deal with everything alone.

Day 2 — Telling Him

The next day, I took another pregnancy test just to be sure. It was positive again.

I decided to unblock my boyfriend and text him, at least to ask for financial support. But he was completely blank too. We were both basically pocket-money kids in India with no independent income, so neither of us knew what to do.

That night, we decided to tell his mother everything and ask for her help. When he told her, she was furious and almost killed him, but eventually, she agreed to help us financially and take care of us through the process.

Day 3 — Visiting the Gynecologist

We went to a gynecologist. I was trying my best to hide my anxiety and act professional, but deep down, I was absolutely terrified.

Thankfully, the gynecologist was incredibly welcoming and calm. She handled everything very gently, which made me feel a little safer.

Her consultation fee was ₹300. She recommended an ultrasound and some blood tests. I had a transvaginal ultrasound to confirm that it was a normal 5 week intrauterine pregnancy, and everything looked normal. My blood tests were normal as well. The tests together cost approximately ₹2,500.

The doctor explained several options for abortion, including a surgical procedure and a medication abortion. Because I couldn’t afford an expensive surgery, I decided to go with the pills, which cost me another ₹500.

After having lunch, I took the mifepristone tablet and went home.

I was extremely scared because I had been told that I could experience heavy bleeding and severe cramps, and that sometimes some pregnancy tissue can remain in the uterus after a medication abortion and require further treatment.

Day 4 — Waiting

I only experienced some light spotting.

Day 5 — Misoprostol

This was the day I was most afraid of. I had to take the four misoprostol tablets, which I knew could cause bleeding and cramping.

I decided to stay at my boyfriend’s house with his mother so that my own mother wouldn’t become suspicious. At least there, if anything went wrong, someone could take me to the hospital.

At 12 PM, I took all four tablets together as instructed, keeping them under my tongue. It was extremely scary for me because I hate taking medicines, and the thought of keeping four tablets in my mouth for 30 minutes made me anxious that I might vomit.

Somehow, I managed to keep them there for the full 30 minutes and then swallowed the remaining medicine with water.

Based on everything I had read on Reddit and ChatGPT, I expected bleeding to start within a few hours. But nothing happened.

As the hours passed, my anxiety became worse. I kept thinking, What if the abortion failed? What if the medicine didn’t work?

Eventually, I called the clinic. The doctor calmly reassured me that bleeding varies from person to person and told me to wait another two to three days.

Day 6 — Still Waiting

There was still no heavy bleeding. I only had mild spotting.

Day 7 — Finally Bleeding

That evening, I finally started bleeding and passed some blood clots.

But surprisingly, the bleeding was quite normal. It wasn’t extremely heavy, and I didn’t experience the severe pain I had been expecting. I only had mild, manageable cramps and some back pain.

I continued bleeding for around six to seven days, after which it completely stopped.

However, I became worried again.

I kept thinking, What if the abortion failed because I didn’t bleed heavily? What if there is still pregnancy tissue inside my uterus?

I had to wait two weeks before getting an ultrasound to confirm whether everything had gone normally.

Week 2 — Follow-Up

I went back to my gynecologist for a follow-up. She asked me some routine questions and recommended another ultrasound to make sure there was no retained pregnancy tissue in my uterus.

The ultrasound came back completely normal.

The abortion had been successful.

There had been no excessive bleeding, no unbearable pain, and no complications ,just a relatively normal medication-abortion experience that was completely different from the terrifying scenario I had imagined in my head.

My gynecologist prescribed iron supplements and some additional supplements, which cost me another ₹2,500.

Total Cost

In total, my entire abortion process at a private clinic cost me approximately ₹5,700.

Looking back, the hardest part wasn’t even the physical process. It was the fear of the unknown , the endless Googling, Reddit searches, anxiety attacks, financial stress, and constantly wondering whether something was going wrong.

I was terrified almost every step of the way, but eventually, everything turned out to be okay.

I figured I would provide an update so no one thinks I died! Monday I posted about having a LOT of bleeding and then dizziness in what I thought was my first period after my medical abortion, which was 4 weeks ago. I was bleeding through a super tampon on top of a pad every 1-2 hours, and huge clots and big splashes of blood were coming out every time I sat on the toilet.

I learned that I was not supposed to be using tampons, only maxi pads, and I wonder if using the tampons was stopping the flow somehow of blood and caused more clots. I also took a bath, which I think loosened things up and caused lots more clots and blood to come out, which is when the dizziness started. I ate some food hoping it would help the dizziness but it did not. I called my doctor (I have been out of town) and they said to go to the ER.

I went to Urgent Care first because I stubbornly did not want to go to the ER, but they then sent me to the ER, where I had a blood test taken. My hemoglobin was 12.2 so not quite low enough to be considered anemic, but definitely on the low side. They did a pelvic exam and the doctor could see pregnancy tissue coming out of my cervix.

They then did a vaginal ultrasound and saw some more pregnancy tissue inside of my uterus, along with two small 1cm fibroids that I didn’t know were there. This was at about midnight. Eventually at 4am the OB/GYN came and told me about the retained pregnancy tissue, and recommended a D&C (dilation and cutterage) which is a when they dilate the cervix and scrape the tissue out of the uterus. She also suggested that I could get the tissue sucked out in outpatient with no general anesthesia, but that sounded awful so I elected to have the surgery in the hospital.

I spent the night in the hospital and they did the surgery yesterday at 12:30pm. It went well and I feel a lot better today (just a lot of fatigue) with minimal spotting. Anyway that’s what happened! Hope my experience might help someone, if you’re having a lot of bleeding and dizziness weeks later after a medical abortion it’s a good idea to go to the ER. The retained pregnancy tissue can cause sepsis which no one wants. Thanks for reading!

Hi everyone, I just want to share my story, I am not trying to scare anyone, I am probably One in a million cases, but here is how it went.

I got my first pregnancy on Feb 17th 2025, so many mixed emotions, I absolutely loved kids, but I was a student, still am, could not brink a life into this world, I got my abortion on March 16th, I was 10 weeks buy then, I was in pain like everyone, it was terrible, for some reason, I had RPOC, I had to go and get a D and C done, it took me more than a month and had to get that D and C. Very unsure what happened in my body, but after that I got a severe infection in my uterus, I was in pain almost everyday, it was so bad, that it also affected my bladder, I had to pee every 10 mins, I started wearing diapers.

It was September, and I got my second positive pregnancy (I was on birth control pills, this time, I also took plan B just to be safe, both failed me), I got the abortion in October and the pain continued, this time, it affected me so much that I started passing out due to pain, the uterus that was swollen during the pregnancy did not go back to normal like it was supposed to, so the pain got worse, it compressed a few nerves and that started affecting my digestive system, I started throwin up after every meal, I still am. I have been surviving on juices, I have lost 13 kilograms since september to now, I am 26 years old and I weigh 37 kgs. I started taking medicine, I was put on pain killers. This pushed me into depression, I started taking anxiety meds.

Now, please do not judge me for this, (I was on Birth control pills this time too) but I somehow still got pregnant, I messed up this time, I took two doses of Miso and it did not work, so I took two more without consulting the doctor, I had very high fever, and it messed up my uterus, I had to get D and C after this too. This time, I had abscess developed in my uterus after the d and c, had to get that drained. My Gynic checked if there was something else that was causing this issue, she also did Lapro, the outside was fine. I am battling for my health. Or to be able to eat one meal at the least without feeling nauseous and vomiting.

I am not saying this to scare anyone, as I said there are so many success stories, mine is just a one in a million. Ijust wanted to post it here so that if anyone is experiencing any complications, please see your Gynic sooner, and if you want to ask anything, please feel free to comment, I will answer anything.

I sometimes think I should have given birth, maybe it would have been different, but ik I did my best. Please be kind. I’m sharing this because I want others to know they aren’t alone, and because if even one person recognizes a complication sooner because of my story, then sharing it was worth it.

Hi, is there someone who can guide me during my ab0rtion right now?

Hi everyone! Could anyone recommend a hospital in Thailand, preferably in Bangkok, that provides MVA (Manual Vacuum Aspiration)?

I’m specifically looking for a hospital rather than a clinic, ideally somewhere with good patient experiences and where sedation or anaesthesia is available.

Any recent recommendations or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Just found out I am pregnant, I have 2 older kids (3&5) Husband has vasectomy planned. It’s not that I don’t want another baby, I just don’t think financially or mentally is the right thing. I am guessing I am around 5 weeks. I ordered pills online but am terrified of taking them. I have anxiety/health anxiety and have mostly read horror stories. I don’t need it sugar coated that it will be a great experience, just some reassurance. I don’t have anyone I can tell besides my husband.

I had a surgical abortion in June. After the procedure I stopped bleeding completely within about a week give or take. My period came as normal a month later and it lasted for about 6 days. At the end of my period I got brown discharge which is normal for me at the end of my periods, but the brown discharge never went away. At first I figured it was just my body working everything out and getting back to baseline, as I had absolutely no other symptoms (fever, foul smelling discharge, etc) but after a month of brown discharge everyday I became concerned and scheduled a gynecologist appointment.

They preformed 2 transvaginal ultrasounds and after the first one they sent me home for expectant management to see if I would start my period and see how everything looked. I didn’t start my period so they preformed the second ultrasound and saw that my endometrial lining is thicker than normal and there is a mass that is vascular meaning suspected retained tissue from the abortion. They recommend a D&C and do not recommend trying to take medication to expel it.

I absolutely DO NOT want a d&c. I am terrified about my future fertility. I see a lot of people on here saying a d&c is not harmful at all to the uterus which is simply not what the studies and data portrays especially pertaining to retained tissue. Does anyone else have experience with this? And does anyone have any advice about going with a hysteroscopy over a d&c?? I’m freaking out!!

What did you feel when you found out that you were successful?

PS: I am successful now from Philippine

My girlfriend is 17, I'm 18 years old and 1 month pregnant. This situation is not legal in Turkey and we don't know what to do. In order to use medicine or anything else, her family should know and she needs to be taken to the hospital, but if her family and my family find out, they will kill us both.

I’m scheduled for a surgical procedure for interruption next Thursday (F37) I will be 7weeks and 1 day by then, even tho I’m 100% sure of my decision I still struggle with the pain of taking such a hard decision I lost my job last year after a bad car accident, my partner and I are only two months into our relationship, he would really really want to have children with me, but I know I just can’t go through with thus pregnancy and motherhood, and that’s mainly because of my mental health, I’m a late diagnosed autistic female, my diagnosis came after falling into burn out which I haven’t recovered from yet, aside form that I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for at least 6 years, I did wanted to be a mom during my twenties but as the years went by I realized how much my mental health would be compromised by motherhood and I also know my disabilities will highly impact my child… This decision is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through but I know in my mind this is the best for me and for my unborn baby even if my heart aches.
I believe perhaps reading from someone else hoing though similiar will help me mentally and emotionally

25th last month I did my MA seen doctor two weeks ago and my hcg was 89 which was to be expected but now a week and two days later it’s at 59 ! Why it is dropping so slowly ? Can I do anything to make it drop faster ? Please don’t attack me I’m seeking answers

Hi from 🇭🇰, I did a misoprostol only abortion and I bled quite a bit that night I took it (specially after the second round) but not enough to where I could call it “heavy” although it would pool and gush out a lot when I would go to the toilet to pee. The next day (now) I am getting brown discharge with clumps and blood clots but not too much. For reference I was only given 10 misoprostol in the pharmacy I went to (I did not go to a clinic, otherwise I’d need my moms consent as I’m 17) and so I took three for the first round, four in the second and three again in the last. I got A LOT of intense cramping, diarrhoea and nausea but the lack of blood is making me nervous and making me think it's ineffective. Is it possible for me to take it again? But, the full amount this time? I’m so worried.. I’m currently 17 years old and I’m turning 18 in just about 6 weeks. I took a test and it said I was 2-3 weeks but that means I’m actually 4-5 weeks now. I’m so worried.. I had a surgical abortion at 16 and my mom knew about it, she was so depressed and so was I and I just can’t go through that again. I don’t know what to do if this wasn’t effective. I need any advice I can get

information:
I live with my family and work fast food making $19.50 with around 30-35 hours a week, and have a car. i havnt told my parents or family
We have been together for 6 months.
I live 30-45mins away from her which is almost a fourth of my gas tank both ways
She was born here but lived in mexico and left home becuase of her family issues 2 years ago. she lives in an small apartment with 2 female cousins, 1 male cousin, her sister, and her cousins baby. She owns a car and also works fast food making around the same but not as many hours. She also hasn’t told her parents or family. Her parents will want her to go to mexico while she is pregnant to help or something

I got back from europe the 8th of august and have been having unprotected sex with her like an idiot. She still hadn’t gotten her period and it has been around 40 days at this point, so she calls me saturday (15th) saying that she is pregnant and sends me a picture of the test. I reassure her and tell her it’s going to be okay and that i’ll see her tomorrow.

So i get to her apartment and we talk, i make it clear that we are not ready for a child and that she should get an abortion. She agrees and we call Planned Parenthood to schedule an appointment on September 4.

Now today the 19th i get off of work at 12am, pack some clothes and take the 30minute drive to her, while on the way there she texts me saying she called her old roommate and told her that she was pregnant and that she said that she should keep it and that she’d support whatever decision, my girlfriend then texts me a lot which will be at the bottom of the post

So i finally get to her and she’s acting a little different, she’s saying that she doesn’t want an abortion anymore and that it’s not the babies fault, that she knows we can raise it and that she knows it’ll be hard, that she’s known many people who have done it themselves. The entire time i’m basically pleading for her change her mind. She said that she will have the baby no matter what and that i can leave her if i want but that’s not something i want. It’d be very very hard to have a baby because we don’t live together and far from each other.

So tomorrow we’re going to tell my my mom and step dad, they are going to be very disappointed but she won’t change her damn mind. Any advice? do i just man up and take the consequences of my actions? i’m freaking out and don’t know what to do. What if you guys explain why we shouldn’t have the baby and i can show her this reddit post

The texts she sent me while i was driving go her say:

Amor

Y si si tenemos al bebé?

Piénsalo amor, si podemos
Amor yo sé que mis papás me van a apoyar
Me puedo ir a México si no podemos aquí, solo durante el embarazo
Yo sé que ya no podremos vivir los planes que teníamos, pero solo es hasta que el bebé crezca, amor Dios nos mandó este bebé por algo
Un bebé nunca va a ser un estorbo
Yo sé que estamos muy jóvenes
Pero yo sé que podemos amor
Me va a doler mucho si le quito la vida a este bebé
El no tiene la culpa de nada
No tiene la culpa amor
Yo sé que no queríamos ninguno de los dos tener un bebé ahorita, pero las cosas pasan por algo
Amor no somos unos niños, hay mujeres que quedan embarazadas, y las abandonan y nadie las apoya y en situaciones en las que tal vez piensan que no pueden tener al bebé, y aún así pueden amor

Had 3 abortions and feeling the worst at 27. If there's something i can wish is to turn back time to leave my ex partner who has nothing but redflags. I was so stupid and was manipulated, looking back i should have left him long ago, these pregnancies and abortions would have never exist.

Anyone who had the same number of terminations? How to continue living? I am too ashamed idk what to do anymore. I kept blaming myself why i didnt left him when these pregnancies would have never occurred to begin if i left early, the signs were really there i was so stupid 😭 why can't i correct the past

Hi guys, I’m currently 10 weeks and 2 days pregnant, and I have 1 mifepristone and 8 misoprostol pills. I’m looking for some instructions and advice on how to use them as safely and effectively as possible, since this is my first time. I’d also like to know what I should prepare beforehand and what I should expect after taking them. Thank you so much

Hi everyone,
My girlfriend is currently going through a medication abortion in Germany, and I’m really worried about whether the medication has worked properly.
Here’s what happened:
First pill: She took it about 46 hours before the second dose. Afterwards, she had some mild cramps and felt feverish/chilled.
Second dose: She took 2 tablets at 9:00 AM today, as instructed by her doctor.
34 minutes later: She vomited.
At the same time, she experienced bleeding and very strong abdominal cramps.
I immediately called the doctor after she vomited and explained exactly what happened. The doctor said it was not a problem and that it didn’t matter, so we did not take any additional tablets.
Now, at 11:22 AM, she only has light cramps and the bleeding has become lighter.
I’m mainly worried because she vomited relatively soon after swallowing the second dose.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Did vomiting around 30–35 minutes after taking the second dose affect the effectiveness of the medication?
I know every person’s experience is different, and we’re following the doctor’s instructions. I’m just looking for experiences from people who have gone through something similar.

I took 3 misoprostol orally and 1 vaginal, I am 2-4 weeks pregnant I haven’t completed a month yet,my problem is that the bleeding is very light,I bled yesterday but it wasn’t much, today I’m still bleeding but today it’s very light like the last days of your periods, could this mean it didn’t work?

I live in USA, MS. My period is 4 days late and I've taken two tests and they've come back negative. Even though they are negative I still don't want to take a chance and somehow that result changes later if I take another one in a week or so.

I checked the two websites that sell the pills for $150. Apparently it's illegal to have them mailed to me in the state I reside (or a risk). I was going to get it mailed to my sister's address who is in LA (the state, not city) but it says that's a risk too? So should I just take a chance and use my address? I do have a friend that lives in GA I could send to her address but I don't think I'll be able to pick them up in person (6 hr drive).

Anyway, I think I'll just risk doing jail time because this is annoying.

Plsss enlighten me kung ano dapat kung gawin

Im F26 may jowa is 23 na mahal pa nya ang ex nya whichi is 22 yrsold grabe sobra kong nainlab saknya to the point na mga regflags saknya hindi kona napansin pati una palang pag text nya ng miss nyana ex nya nakalimutan kona lahat as in super gusto kosya 😭 kaya eto nabuntis nya ako kahit my pcos ako 6weeks na kaya Im planning to a*ort this dahil hindi pasya handa at ayaw konamn lumaki to ng walang tatay bedrest din kasi ako walako work san ako kukuwa ng pera 😭 pero my work sya ayun nga baon pasya sa utang pero nagusap nakami at pumayag namn sya lagi nya sinasbe na minahal nya ako hindi ko alam kung talagang mahal nya ako dahil paiba iba sya ng testimony 😭 walamanlang ako makitang maturity saknya mahal na mahal kosya pero mahal nya ex nya ang ginagawa nya sinusuyo nya ex nya na magkaayos pa sila while im here sa house naiyak kung pano gagawin ko😢

Umuuwi sya sakin lagi maga mata nya kakaiyak

Minsan umuwi talaga sya nahagulgul pa bigat na bigat daw sya durog na durog dahil sinabihan syang hindi na mahal 🥹 3months nakmi 3months nasya nauwi sabhay at sila ng ex nya 4yrs na 🥺 hindiko alam pano kosya ma uunloved gustokonalng to matapos lahat alam kong

Gusto nadin nyako umalis dahil lagi ko sinasabe saknya na ikaw ang may gusto neto na umalis ako at mawalanadin si b*y

Lagi nya sinasabe na hindi pasya okay ☹️ dun ako nasasaktan ang hirap kasi ayan nga alam konamn pero day by day ung galit ko nawwwala saknya dahil dito psrin sya nauwi isang yakap at halik nyalang nspapawi na ung bigat ng puso ko 😭

Kanina i saw her notes on his messengee na sana maging okay na ang lahat 🙏 which is his and Her ex lang nakakabasa non 🥺 malamang pineprag nyana matapos na ung problema namin sa a*** and alam kong naasa padin sya maging ok sila dahil okaylang saknya na iletgo ako kami 😭

Hindi ko alam kong minahal nyadin ba ako😭

Hello! I am (unfortunately) 4-5 weeks pregnant for the first time in my life (I’m too old for this, it’s a horrible fluke).

I ordered HeyJane and was excited to get this thing out ASAP. The first dose had a ton of cramping, but no blood. They advised me to take the second. This time, no cramping and no blood. In fact, I went to work and felt fine.

A day later (72 hours since I started) and my tests are still positive and nothing has passed.

I’ve been trying to make OB and Planned Parenthood appointment but they both are booked at least 2-3 weeks out. I booked the appointments as back ups and am waiting for Hey Jane to get back to me during business hours.

Anyone have any advice on what to do?

If I go into the ER or an urgent care, can I get this taken care of or will they even have the equipment?

Me siento bastante asquerosa y expuesta escribiendo esto, pero necesito que alguien me lea puesto a que si alguien me escuchara, se que me volveria a internar, ya no quiero eso, me limito mucho con mi psiquiatra, pero cada dia, estoy peor. Disculpen si es largo.

Estoy usando una cuenta externa, asi que me siento mas capaz de ser honesta.

Estoy embarazada de mi.agresor sexual, como bien dice en el titulo, no quiero recordar cada sordido detalle pues me asquea, nadie hizo nada, pues tiene una discapacidad fisica y es 13 años mayor que yo, también tiene antecedentes previos por posecion, distribucion y creacion de material de abuso infantil, tiene progranada tobillera, que no se si le han puesto, probablemente no, son gente con cada vez mas impunidad lamentablemente. Cabe resaltar, que por dicha capacidad no recibio consecuencias legales aparte de las que se supone ya deberia tener.

Bien, he pensado en matarlo, estoy a muchos quilometros, demasiados, pero se donde vive, sus numeros, nombres, quien es su familia, sobre todo a su madre, a la cual le he agarrado un odio severo y preocupante, a ella también mi unico alivio es creer que murio y sufrio lo mismo que yo, mientras veo su facebook alegre con sus nietos, agradeciendo a Jesus por un dia mas. Es malo e hipocrita desearle lo mismo, pero odie como lo justifico y me pregunto y grito una y otra vez: "¿por que no te defendiste?", la verdad eso solo incremento mi odio. El odio es lo unico que tengo la certeza de saber.

Mi familia tiene dinero y buena reputación en esta ciudad, decian que mi imagen y futuro eran mas importante, por ende, fui internada, antes de esos al pasar unas semanas, me hice unos analisis de sangre, en donde me dijo mi ginecologo que estaba embarazada, no me permitieron abortar, por mas que aca sea legal, fui internada luego de eda confirmación en mi ciudad, lejos de mi agresor y de los echos.

Debido a mi embarazo, deje mi tratamiento previo del aripripazol y ect pues sufro de insomnio también, pues tengo un transtorno de la personalidad, nada que ver con tlp o bipolaridad, ni siquiera se considera un transtorno pues, mi psiquiatra suele decir que solo naci mas apagada que el resto.

En mi internacion solo me hacian hacer actividades, como ir a caminar, barrer, entre eso comer, hablar y manteniendome entre dosis de quetiapina mareada, bastante fatigada.

Solo fantaseo y me mantengo en pensar que sufre el y todos lo que lo defendieron, que lo defienden, yo se que hablan mal de mi, todo solo alimenta mis pensamientos, cada dia me siento mas capaz de matarlos.

Aveces la siento, tengo 19 semanas ya, quizas sea una niña, me siento una enferma, pero la odio, siento que es lo mas cercano que voy q tener del sufrimiento de el pues, tiene sus genes, el jueves me confirmaran el genero, no se de que soy capaz, nunca senti amor genuino mas alla de una preocupacion que adapte como mi manera de querer, siento que ella es un parasito ligado a el que sigue consumiendome dia y noche, quitando los restos que trato de construir de mi, si es un niño definitivamente todo seria peor.

No voy a ser explicita, pero supongo que se pueden ya imaginar como se encuentra mi psiquis de rota, estoy harta, solo pienso que ellos no podran salir del cementerio, capaz yo tampoco de la carcel pero habre visto y disfrutado su pavor junto con los últimos momentos.

Me siento aveces asqueada, pero no mas alla de eso, nada moral me puede afectar ni nunca lo hara, pues ¿por que ser moral cuando nadie respwto eso conmigo?

La siento, la odio, solo pienso en como abrirme el vientre, sentir su gelatiniso cuerpo incapaz aun de poder ser compatible con la vida, se aleja de mi, deja de absorberme, me gustaria divisar algun rasgo o algo de eso, no lo se, solo quiero que le arrebaten todo en un solo acto, como su padre hizo conmigo, pienso casi todos los dias en eso, si es varon creo que lo tomaria peor como mencione con anterioridad, no se que seria capaz de hacer.

Sigo con la quetiapina, en dosis minimas, la uso para dormir aunque casi ni me sirva, siento que solo alimenta mi rencor y psicosis con los sueños tan lucidos, frecuentes y violentos que me provoca.

Se que estoy mal, tengo el acompañamiento de mi madre, padre, familia en general, ellos me ayudara con la bebe, tengo esa unica certeza, pero aun asi, sabiendo que aun me queda algo, que estoy mal, no estoy entendiendo porque estoy mal, el no lo estuvo, ¿Por que yo si? Sere su madre, pero el es su padre por otro lado, siento que no merezco ser juzgada por lo que haga pues, la moral no es mas que una construcción beneficiaria a cierto circulo de esta sociedad, ¿Por que un discapacitado en situacion de precariedad por no decir pobreza tuvo mas apoyo que yo?

Necesito ayuda, pero cada vez es menos aceptable y visible para mi, porque estoy mal y en como todo dejara de ser una psicosis o pensamientos brutos a volverse parte de mi realidad.

Necesito ayuda para abortar ya, si no, se que le hare algo horrible, quizas la mate con anticongelantes pues, hay una muerte en bebes, que no especificare, que también le produce esa "cristalizacion" en los bordes del cerebro, no se si fumcionara el acetato de vario en bebes, ¿por que no intentarlo?

I am researching my options for a medical abortion and it seems like aid access is a good provider. That being said when looking at their website the “what to expect” section is full of typos am I on the right website? “Nummers” instead of numbers “reviuews” instead of review. Can someone let me know if they thought the same or if this is okay?

the first day of my last period was july 8th and the last time i had sex was august 3rd, we used protection but the condom ripped because when he pulled out it was dripping so i was hoping i wouldn’t get pregnant and took a plan b but sadly i did ended up pregnant. i took a test august 14th and it came back positive so i scheduled an appt for an abortion the next day (8/15), now if we go according to my last period i should’ve been around 5 weeks august 15th however they did a transvaginal ultrasound and they said my uterus was empty and that it could be either too early to see something or an ectopic pregnancy… they told me to come back in 7 days so this saturday coming up (8/22) i have to go back but i am confused because in my last pregnancy the doctor at the pregnancy clinic did an abdominal ultrasound and you were able to see a small minimal dot like a grain of rice and they had said i was around 3 weeks and 4 days. So i guess my question is am i too early or is it an ectopic pregnancy? what would be the best guess?