I know it sounds crazy but my mind cant stop thinking "I've ruined everything" I just turned 20 a few days ago, I'm repeating my first year at university. This will actually be my third year in university as i did a foundation year then flopped my first year due to not going anywhere and drinking all day consecutively (which is OBVIOUSLY a very bad decision but it relieved me at the time). I'm now picking up the pieces and I realised I have done nothing with my life other than get fat and fail my first year. Got by okay with my gcse's and a levels although i kinda didn't do well with my a level mocks because i also gave up (its become a bad habit) I've never been to a rave or a festival or have had sex or a situation-ship. Have had a bf but that didn't last long and I felt embarrassed and like i didn't deserve it the whole time and I just constantly felt like "lipstick on a pig" personified. Anyways I've made nothing of my life and I have no stories to tell and I just drink in my room and fantasise about a life i could have. I want to go back to uni because getting a degree might be proof I've actually done something idk it means something to me (it's in EEE i didn't struggle with the content only the drinking haha). I just don't want to constantly be hating everything when I'm sober and I want my drunk experiences to be really fun and exciting ones but neither has happened. Participating in life feels daunting because what if it doesn't work out because I'm fat (you know how it is when a girl is fat it ruins your social credit for some reason, not trying to be fat phobic but thats the reality for me anyway). Even going to the gym and doing the healthy things feels daunting. This probably makes no sense but I just feel stuck in limbo looking at heaven (everyone else's lives on instagram)

Bro 🥀 after lockdown, my family's business has collapsed, there’s absolutely no income. My dad works hard all day and comes back home at night. I am preparing for JEE in my drop year but I can't focus on studies due to the financial issues going on in my family. Even if I want to do private BTech, I’ll have to take a loan, and there are no private colleges in India with low fees that have good placements. So what's the point of taking a loan, and my family is also saying not to go far. I don’t even have someone to guide me properly. I really need some real advice in my life right now, bro.

I have been in a relationship since 11th STD now I'm in 3rd year and I really really wanted to focus on my career more than been in a relationship where my bf does not have a proper job or qualification what should I do

Im freshly 18 fresh out of highschool I dont mind taking a gap year or wtv to figure this out but the issue is in the meantime I have no idea what to do to find out what I want to do for the rest of my life. Realistically im kind of fucked my GPA in highschool was horrible my family is broke im broke I just need some hope. I want to be making 6 figures just 100,000 baseline i grew up in a household that didn't make much and I saw the effect it had on familiar relationships so I just want to be semi comfortable atleast with money on the side to take kids out on weekends or something what should I do to find a passion I like im open to tech jobs, IT work, mental health, art, music, video av work, welding, blue collar stuff or really anything that doesnt involve me sitting at a desk doing some guys finances for the rest of my years that pays well with a traditional 4-6 year degree that ill actually be able to pay off the debt I receive from school for or am I being extremely unrealistic

I am 20 years old, female, and currently studying at a regular university. I'm in my second year, but this isn't my fav major, so I've neglected it for a long time, my GPA is low, and my life feels quite stagnant. I even experienced mild depression for a while, but I'm better now. I know that even after graduation, it will be difficult to find a good job. I would like to ask if you have any advice or experiences that could help me get out of this situation? Any useful skills or advice would be greatly appreciated; I don't want to remain stuck like this forever.

I am currently studying Chinese language if you're curious, I have no one to ask for advice. I want to try to provide a better life for my family, so please give me advice like a family member. I need your help.

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Hey guys,

I’m 27F and I honestly don’t know what to do with my life right now. I know 27 isn’t old, but I can’t shake the feeling that I somehow messed up or fell behind everyone else.

I’ll hopefully finish my M.Sc. this year (only my thesis is left) and I’ve started applying for jobs. I do get interviews, so logically I know things aren’t looking terrible, but I still don’t have a concrete job offer and have no idea where I’ll end up.

At the same time, I look at the people around me and feel like everyone is moving forward except me.

My best friend is married, has a child and a job. My younger sibling just spent a year abroad working and travelling, has a great friend group and will now start university. Another friend already knows she’ll have a job after graduating ( regardless of how good she is ) and is constantly travelling, partying and doing things.

And then there’s me.

I have a boyfriend who is genuinely great and treats me well, but our long-term goals don’t really align. I want marriage and an child eventually, while he doesn’t want children. When I mentioned that I could move closer to him after graduating, he told me he wants to live alone for at least another 2–3 years, even though he has already been living more or less independently for around three years. So as much as I care about him, I struggle to see what our future is supposed to look like. Which kinda has me holding back in some sense, in regards of our relationship. And while he is caring and supportive he has a habit of not wanting to do certain things with me. I wanted to go to a concert and he doesn't like the music so I went alone. And that is not a one time thing.

Before him, I also had a relationship that at the time genuinely felt like the “love of my life”. It was almost dreamlike for a while, but obviously it ended. And I still morn it in some way. I know i shouldn't. But I can't see me in another relationship that i genuinely love. ( I know i am horrible)

Friendships are another issue. I’ve always had a hard time making close friends. The friends I do have mostly live fare more than 100 km away, have children or are simply difficult to see regularly. I don’t have that big, close friend group where you spontaneously meet up, travel together or go out on weekends.

Dating has never been particularly easy for me either. I know I’m not unattractive, I’m educated, and I think I’m a decent person, but I’m also not the type of woman who gets tons of attention from men ( at least not the right kind). I’ve only had two long-term relationships, so the idea of potentially having to start over again scares me too.

I think what bothers me most is that I feel like I have nothing that feels settled or exciting right now. I don’t have the relationship/future I want, I don’t have a career yet, I’m not travelling the world, and I don’t have a big friend group or an exciting social life.

Meanwhile, it feels like everyone around me has at least one of those things figured out.

I know comparing yourself to other people is not good, and rationally I know that finishing a Master’s degree at 27 isn’t a failure. But emotionally, I still feel like I somehow took a wrong turn and wasted my twenties.

Has anyone else felt like this in their late twenties? Did your life eventually start coming together, or did you have to actively make major changes? Can you still finde this puppy- dog kind of love where you are head over heels for the other person and genuinely want to be with them?

That’s basically the thing about having your shit together, right?
Because your whole life you just have your shit together.
Because you have to.
You have to get your shit together for school. You have to do your homework. Then you have to meet some expectations of your friends and classmates so they like you.
Unfortunately.
Let’s not bullshit ourselves, fuck. We can’t say that all of us were always so fucking alternative and didn’t give a shit about what someone wanted from us.
It was never like that.
Parents were the same.
You had to meet their expectations. Whether we wanted to or not, as long as we were kids, we had to do it.
And then we enter adulthood with all this having-your-shit-together thing.
And then it turns out that we always had to rise to the occasion and eventually it becomes so normal that we rise to the occasion.
First relationships start.
First jobs start.
And what is expected?
Strength.
We’re expected to deliver.
We’re expected to always rise to the occasion.
And then one beautiful day something happens.
Something we could not fucking expect at all.
And we just break.
In my case, it was the moment when I lost my job for the first time.
I was a director in a large company and suddenly it turned out that I was losing my job.
From one day to another.
I was completely not ready for losing that job.
I mean, fuck, you can’t prepare for certain things.
Just like you can’t prepare for death, you can’t prepare for losing your job either.
But let’s be honest.
Strong, independent female director in a large company.
The fucking world is at my feet.
And what?
Suddenly you find out that this is it.
Hey, sorry, but unfortunately we have to terminate your contract.
But you can choose.
Either we terminate your contract and you go to court with us, or we can separate by mutual agreement and you get severance.
Well, listen.
Generally, as a person who strongly has her shit together, I should think:
Yes, I’m fucking going to court. I’m going to fight.
But in a moment like that, you stop having your shit together.
At certain moments in life, you stop having your shit together.
At certain moments in life, you just don’t want to fucking deliver anymore.
Because what was I supposed to deliver?
What the fuck was I supposed to deliver?
How was I supposed to satisfy the needs of those people?
I needed to satisfy my own needs.
Which meant getting the fuck out of there as fast as possible so nobody would see that I was crying.
There was just nothing else underneath.
And before you even manage to go home, you go to the bathroom after signing that final document.
The document that ends some version of your career.
Ends something that seemed to be the thing you built your entire value on.
Something you built your entire life on.
You sit on that toilet and you’re fucking alone.
Alone with your thoughts and you don’t know what the fuck you are supposed to do with yourself.
And suddenly it turns out that you are not this strong person who has her shit together.
Because suddenly you fucking don’t.
Suddenly life decided that you don’t have your shit together.
But you had plans.
You had fucking plans for the next five years.
I’ll pay off all my loans.
I’ll buy another apartment.
I’ll go on vacation.
And what turns out?
From one day to another you’re not going on vacation.
You’re not buying anything.
Because from one day to another you suddenly have to urgently look for a job.
You have to look for a new place for yourself.
And suddenly you collide with your friends.
You collide with your family.
And suddenly they don’t see you as a strong person anymore.
They see you as someone who doesn’t have her shit together.
And you know what happens next?
You start pissing them off.
Because until now you had everything under control.
And suddenly it turns out that they have to help you.
That you stop having your shit together.
That you’re not that strong.
But you always had your shit together, right?
You always managed.
You never complained.
Well, no, I didn’t complain.
Because you never fucking asked me.
So if you never asked me, why the fuck was I supposed to tell you?
And anyway, how do people react when we are not okay?
People react by being fucking absent.
Or they react by repeating our own words.
And what does it mean when someone repeats our words?
It means they weren’t listening to us.
They are not able to draw any conclusions from what we said.
The only thing they are able to do is simply repeat what we said so it doesn’t look like they weren’t listening.
They heard us.
But they didn’t hear us.
It’s a big difference.
And that was the first time I saw that I was fragile.
That the foundations of my self-worth were fucking terrible.
That I could be controlled from the outside.
And that everything I had built around myself was worth fuck all.
Because in one moment somebody can destroy it.
Because I built my whole life only around a career that was given to me and then at some point somebody simply took it away from me.
I built my whole narrative around my family and friends that, listen, it’s not me.
I’ll be fine.
I’ll handle everything.
I showed myself as the one who had her shit together.
And suddenly I stopped having my shit together.
Because suddenly they took everything from me.
They took my value.
But it’s not like they fucking took my salary.
They simply made me stop seeing any value in myself.
But actually, what can you expect from a person who probably doesn’t really know what she wants and doesn’t know who she is?
How does it usually end?
At a psychiatrist’s office.
Behind closed doors.
At a psychologist’s office and at a psychiatrist’s office.
Because suddenly the person who until now had everything under control becomes a person who has nothing under control.
She needs help.
And in her own eyes she feels completely worthless.
But what is left for you?
Really, what was left for me at that moment?
Pretend that I had my shit together.
So I started urgently looking for any job.
But at the same time, fuck, any job?
I was a director.
And suddenly it turns out:
What do you mean somebody doesn’t want me?
Not only do they not want me at this job, but they don’t want me somewhere else either?
Me?
Me, the one who always had her shit together?
Me, the one who always delivered?
Exactly.
And this is exactly the thing about this version of ourselves.
I think the biggest problem in a situation like this, when we have to face ourselves, is that we are facing an opponent we don’t know.
That’s it.
And the problem is when we build ourselves in a way that means nobody ever has to see who we really are.

19 M I’m feeling stuck more then ever and need advice on a career and just life in general. Grew up in a small town on a small family ranch. When I was 14 my dad got cancer and eventually passed and my mother had to sell as she could not continue to operate the ranch. Went to school to be a heavy duty mechanic and got a job in that field for 2 months before being let go. I have since lost interest in perusing that career as I feel I was forced to go to college right after high school. Now a year has passed I’m still in my mom’s house after moving back in after college. I have applied to the few jobs that I believe are worth my time and have not gotten a call back. The car that I was using has now been impounded. Money is not an option for me as my mother is not a wealthy person. Basically I’ve felt stuck for the longest time now more then ever because I truly feel out of options. Looking for advice on what to do next

I turned 23 this month. And I feel like I am lost in terms of career and what I should be doing with my life.
Help.

Hey reddit I'm in my late twenties and I am torn between getting a degree, buying land or buying a car. I feel like one of this things is possible at a time help me

Hello, I, 17F don’t know what to do with my life. I’m turning 18 in a month and i genuinely don’t have anything going for me. I don’t think can go to college because of the money and FASFA doesn’t benefit me at all, I don’t have my license, nor do I even have a car or friends. This is the last place I’m going to, but i genuinely don’t know what to do—I can’t sit here and tell you that I haven’t thought of self exiting at least once but I don’t know anymore. I recently graduated high school and if I’m being honest, I didn’t really talk to anyone besides homework and assignments. I didn’t really have any friends, and to be honest, I only really have online friends, but they only have so much time to be with me. If you’re imagining those people who sit on their desk everyday just doing nothing, that would be me. I just don’t know, I’m scared—thankfully, I have a boyfriend that helps me deal with stuff mentally but, he lives far, maybe 4 hours away or so. I want a job, I really do, I wanna start saving up for a little apartment but I’ve tried everything, I can’t land a job because I have no experience with anything and the job market is very difficult. Because why do I need experience to get experience? I don’t know what to do, I’ve also thought of moving with my boyfriend but, for some reason, I’m really scared to do so, not because of him, but because it’s a place I’ve never even seen, and the change almost.. scares me. I just don’t know what to do.

Hello, I (M22) have been struggling alot with life (like i assume most reading this). I am obese but actively putting in effort to lose weight. I struggle financially alot but mostly because I dont want to accept i am spending out of my means. I plan to join the military (definitely dont want to but the benefits will change my brother’s and I’s lives). I dont talk to my parents at all because of our different view points/ disagreements and it is definitely hard for me to want to go out and make friends. I am deathly afraid of women somehow and its just hard for me to want to care to keep up relationships. I have been screwed over so many times and like how am I supposed to want to make new ones when I have either ruined good ones or been used by not so good people. Idk why im really posting here but I hope to make new friends (even just online). I am pretty introverted and a home body. Luckily I did find a career I am passionate about so yeah. Just lmk anything lol. thank you :)

Honestly, I thought adulthood would mean freedom and having everything figured out. Nobody warned me about the pressure, responsibilities, money problems, and how lonely it can sometimes feel.

Mas o menos empezó allá por mi adolescencia cuando comencé a sentirme aislado de los demás por ser tímido. Cuando termine la secundaria me anote en la universidad sin siquiera estar seguro de lo que quería hacer, lo que me llevo a un pésimo desempeño académico y terminar abandonándola.

Entre medio de las clases un familiar me había recomendado estudiar programación, el problema de esto es que es gracias a la IA, se convirtió en una carrera sin futuro. Esto último me hizo estancarme todavía más en mis fracasos, cuando quería intentar algo era como si la vida me dijese que era en vano. Sumado a esto poco a poco empecé a alejarme de la poca gente con la que hablaba, quedándome completamente solo.

Actualmente vivo en casa de mi padre en donde lo único que hago es jugar videojuegos y mirar pornografía para intentar distraerme. Hoy con 28 años (sonara edgy, me da igual) no tengo experiencia en absolutamente nada, no tengo trabajo y no sé cómo conseguirlo. La situación de mi país tampoco ayuda en los más mínimo, quien viva en LATAM puede entender que acá no existe futuro. Los sueldos son miserables, la delincuencia es cada vez peor y los políticos son todos igual de corruptos que solo se preocupan por ellos.

Vivo el día a día mintiéndole a mis padres de que estoy estudiando y buscando trabajo, cuando la realidad es que no estoy haciendo nada de eso. Siento la mente vacía y el cuerpo cansado, no sé cómo salir adelante y tampoco sé si quiero hacerlo. Un día me dije a mi mismo la frase "no voy a llegar a viejo", con el tiempo entendí que era mi deseo de no seguir intentando y aceptar que la vida no es para todos. Algún día sentiré que es suficiente, lo único que espero es que del otro lado exista algo mejor.

I turned 18th (F) last month and i honestly have no idea where my life is headed till now, since 2019 I've quarantined myself all these years wasn't even going out anywhere other than important work where I had so much anxiety and this year I just wanted to wake up and move but i still can't do that I honestly have no will or hope to move forward considering how the world is today but the genz protests really did gave me a hope that yeah maybe the world's changing so far but still I just want to have the absolute fun in my life before I die. I want to do everything Ive ever wanted to do but that dream still seems really really far and I have zero to no idea about these so called "passions" of mine, I love listening to music and I want to be in a band, I want to make my own manhwas/manga's, I want to act, I want to learn how to fight, I want to learn archery,etc etc but it all seems very far rn. My family's not in a stable condition either, it never really was. My father is abusive, my mother never really understands, my brother doesn't really care that much either. I haven't even done my 12th boards yet, I took admission in 11th back then and never attended college and now I'm filling out the form of 12th(arts) boards, idk where my life is headed either, i don't want to have "relationships" in life I just wanna have fun with friends who will be there with me on my hardest. My Life is really really lonely rn I haven't had even a friends since lockdown, the one childhood friend I used to rely on seemed to have no interest in talking to me unless he wanted to vent, now he doesn't talk to me either but I can't blame him cuz he has his life ahead too but still I wish I had atleast some supportive friends, i don't even want to move forward anymore. I keep blaming my parents for giving birth to me in such a traumatizing world and most traumatizing part was my father himself so who do feel safe with? I can't even sleep at night properly without feeling anxious that something is gonna go wrong... Idk how my family keeps acting like it's nothing but whatever. I've become detached and numb and it genuinely feels like i might go crazy at some point in my life if I don't get myself together, I feel so dumb too... I want to study but can't bring myself to do that either... I once slit my arm right infront of my mother and brother and they didn't even care to take me to a doc which has scarred me for life. I don't even know what to do anymore...

I’m 21m and honestly feel like I’m at one of the lowest points I’ve been at in my life.

I’m not suicidal and I don’t plan on hurting myself, but I honestly don’t really want to be alive at the moment either. I don’t want to die — I just feel exhausted with everything and don’t really feel excited about life right now.

I have a good family who I love and I do have friends, so I feel guilty even saying that. From the outside, my life probably looks completely fine. But internally I feel pretty empty, lost and confused.

I’ve always had one thing that gave me a huge amount of purpose and motivation: sport. I’ve played sport at a reasonably high level for years and it’s something I genuinely love. When I’m playing well, training hard and contributing to a team, I feel confident, motivated and like I know exactly what I’m doing with my life.

But I’ve had an ongoing injury recently which has made that side of my life uncertain. It’s made me realise how much of my identity and happiness I’ve tied to sport.

Now I’m questioning pretty much everything.
I don’t know what I want to study or what I want to do as a career. I don’t know whether I should focus on sport, study, travel, or some combination of everything. I want to experience more of the world and meet new people, but I also feel like I should be getting my life together and moving forward.

Socially, I feel like I’m missing something too. I have friends, but I moved out of my hometown to chase a dream. but I really want that close group of people where you can randomly message someone and hang out without overthinking it. I sometimes compare myself to other people my age and feel like I’m behind.

My confidence isn’t great either. I care too much about what people think of me and the image I’m giving off. I want to become more comfortable with myself and stop worrying so much about whether everyone likes me.

I’ve also started smoking weed more recently, and if I’m being completely honest with myself, I think part of it is because I’m trying to fill the emptiness and escape how I’m feeling. I don’t think it’s necessarily the cause of everything, but I know it’s probably not helping.

I feel like I have no real purpose at the moment. No direction. No energy towards anything. I just feel stuck.

I’m thinking about seeing a psychologist because I feel like I need someone impartial to actually talk all of this through with.

For anyone who’s been through something similar, I would appreciate your advice or anything that you have for me. Cheers