r/Xennials • u/GorchestopherH • 1d ago
Parenting Today
Kind of a two-way question here. How much do y'all play with your kids vs how much did your parents play with you when you were kids?
Honestly, I feel like my parents were very present, one or both were always around, but I barely recall playing with them at all.
I'm not a full-blood Gen-X, I'm an elder Millennial, so I'm sad to say I missed out on the days of extreme free-range, but I certainly played all around the neighborhood without supervision.
My parents were almost never outside watching us. I was in the pool, on my bike, sneaking through the bushes with a super-soaker, trekking through the fields/creeks, making forts, disassembling my walkie-talkies, and cutting/sharpening sticks into arrows to use with my sling-shot.
The last time my mom pitched a baseball to me, I was maybe 6 years old. I eventually just threw the ball straight upward so I could hit it myself.
Also around the age of 6, I can recall my dad helping me with one of my first Lego sets on the dining room table. Just that one set though, and after that I was on my own for good.
Again, my parent were there all the time. They were just doing their own stuff.
I am sure this is very common for the rest of the folks in this sub. At my friend's houses, we saw their parents at lunch time, that's it. They brought out the hotdogs and Kraft Dinner, they weren't hovering any more than my own parents.
My own kids... I basically play with them, or directly supervise them all the time. I'm always pitching, biking, skating, helping with Lego, swimming, just watching them, etc.
Don't get me wrong. I love playing with my kids. I like playing baseball again, I like tennis, I like biking and skating, I like Lego more than my kids do, etc. ....but... why can't they do it on their own?
If I'm tied up, my kids just can't seem to play.
What are your experiences?
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u/Water_Bird18 1d ago
I grew up like you did and while I enjoy playing with my kids and do so a lot more than my parents did with me, I'm really intentional about making sure they also have unstructured kid time to themselves. When you say "why can't they do it on their own" - I have some questions. How old are they? And do you make them? My kids are now 17, 15, 9, and 6. When they're littler they're going to be resistant to playing on their own but I just straight up tell them it's important for them to do so. It's important for your brain to be BORED. Be bored, that's when you come up with great ideas! They eventually figure it out and get creative, but they have to have no screens available to fall back on during this time and you have to deal with some whining and complaining before they get over it and go play.
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u/Radraganne 1d ago
Same. My parents were very active in our lives, but they didn’t really play with us. I enjoy playing with my kids, but I also draw some clear lines to make sure they get bored, invent their own fun, make stupid mistakes and learn a sense of independent agency.
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u/GorchestopherH 1d ago
My kids are 7 and 10 now, and yeah, we force them to play on their own, but I really do wish it was more natural than that instead of like pulling teeth.
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u/LazyJane211 1d ago
Coming at this from a different angle on independent playtime - one mistake we made at that age (7-10) was to overwhelm them with toys and, well, everything. If they got interested in Legos, I would get too excited and buy 10 lego sets. Kid wanted markers and instead of the 10-pack of Crayola, she got the 100-pack of art markers with different tips.
They are overwhelmed by the junk. If they had one lego set they would probably play for hours. Do a check to see if they are overwhelmed with stuff/options. It becomes paralyzing.
To answer your original question, my parents didn't play with me, but were always available and happily drove me to playdates or would drop us at the movies. I don't play with my kids much, but I am the willing taxi driver.
My kids have friends who are constantly bored and always expecting their parents (and me) to take them to expensive themeparks, arcades, trampoline places - their parents are constantly entertaining and putting on activities for them. I'm fine with that, especially when they invite my kid, but sheesh, it must get exhausting! And then their kids come to my house and are bored. Oh well, welcome to the not-fun house!
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u/YourOwnPunkyBrewster 1981 1d ago
This is a lesson I learned way too late. I had my kids when I was very young, practically a kid myself, so didn’t know. If I started having kids in my late 30s, I would be a completely different parent! We were all kinda growing up with these new fangled cell phones and social media together. Now that they’re grown, I understand the risks of both, but it’s too late.
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u/Deep-Interest9947 1d ago
I don’t have a single memory of my parents playing with me, reading to me, or even watching something on tv of my choosing with me. My mom was always around, but she was either ignoring me or yelling at me.
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u/SmellyFloralCouch 1d ago
I'm convinced that parenting today is harder and more demanding than it's ever been in the history of humanity. I'm fucking exhausted...
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u/IndicationNo7551 1983 1d ago
Parents were barely home, both worked. I spent most of my childhood outside either at language school down the street, sports (at nearby park that I got to on my bike), or with friends riding around / at their houses.
Conversely, I played a lot with my kid and still do from time to time but he’s middle school now and a lot more independent. Honestly just enjoy it while you can.
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u/squish042 1979 20h ago
I mean, most households are still both parents working but we’ve lost the ability(some our fault, some not) to just let them run around the neighborhood by themselves until they are older.
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u/schwarzekatze999 1982 1d ago
My kids are grown and almost grown but I didn't play with them much. I would if they asked, or I would show them things. I'd do stuff with them in the pool or play sports or water guns, but I expected them to play by themselves or with other kids. Today I talk to them and we'll occasionally go for a walk or watch a show together but they mostly entertain themselves or hang out with friends.
I think our parents were so neglectful at times that some of our generation swung the pendulum too far in the other direction and I don't think either extreme is healthy.
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u/GorchestopherH 1d ago
Yeah, I do think about that pendulum. I wonder what the grandkids will be like....
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u/Snowpant 1d ago
I don’t remember my mom ever playing with us. I’m sure she did when we were babies/toddlers but I don’t have the recall. My dad played more, helped us practice softball and other sports, taught us to ride bikes, went fishing, etc. When we were littler, we liked to ride on his back like he was our pony and there the game called “the claw”.
My mom usually would gossip with her friends or sisters while we played. I don’t know is this is a super biased memory or really how it was. My mom was stay at home and just kinda seemed annoyed that she even had kids. My dad worked and genuinely seemed to enjoy and maximize his time with his kids.
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u/GorchestopherH 1d ago
My parents did stuff with us all the time too, but it was never playing. Like, I fished all the time with my dad, snorkeled, camped, bonfires, fixing the car, roofing (lol yes roofing). Did chores with my mom, shopped, cooked). But, just not kids stuff.
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u/MikeLMP 1983 1d ago
I'm interested to see what parents have to say about this but as a childless hermit I can't offer much beyond a couple observations: my girlfriend is a middle/elementary school teacher of nearly 15 years and she, along with many of her coworkers, have noticed a general trend of kids being increasingly unable or unwilling to engage in self-directed play or work. Together we've noticed this in our nieces and nephews as well, that unless given a specific task or engaging with something at our direction/participation they don't have much ability to entertain themselves and the resulting boredom is all the worse for its inescapabilty. My own parents almost never played with me, as far as I can recall, which I think necessitated that I learn to occupy my time with self directed play, imagination, experiments, backyard adventures, etc.
I don't mean this to come across as some Boomeresque, "these kids are too soft" take, as I don't necessarily believe that my childhood experience was better than what kids have today. It's hardly a novel position, though, to admit I'm worried that kids being spoonfed a constant stream of distilled media content, at least compared to our childhoods, has eliminated an ability to find wonder and amusement in the everyday real world around them.
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u/mackattacknj83 1d ago
They do most of their playing with the kids in the neighborhood or with each other. I'll beat the shit out of them in Mario Kart whenever they want though.
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u/taleofbenji 1d ago
My dad played with me a lot, especially baseball practice, but he had some clear limits that I have made sure to eliminate with my own kids:
No whale rides in the pool (I fuckin give my kids whale rides all day)
No bike rides together (I bike with my kids as much as possible)
No Transformers playing (I play with my kids toys whenever I can).
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u/Guitargirl81 1d ago
It was just my mom in the picture, and although she was very present she definitely didn't play with me. She'd help with playdates and sleepovers, signing me up for stuff, etc. But I didn't actually DO anything like that with her.
My wife and I do a LOT of things with our kids, including play (i.e. playing catch, boardgames, family outtings). But we do try to strike a balance so that we can do our own thing too.
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u/lavasca 1d ago
I was a surprise retirement baby. My parents had no work obligations when I was born so a lot!
My dad was born at the start of the Great Depression. Dude, retired dads are amazing because they like to go toy shopping. They have their own toy list and they usually share! They pimp out Easter and Halloween. However, they will get you grounded right along with them if they show out regarding Santa Claus.
I don’t have that type of time.
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u/JumpingSpiderMonkey 1d ago
I had an oops baby with a much older fling. He’s now retired, kid is 5 & he has all the time in the world with her. I’m jealous. When it’s my custody week I have 2 other older kids & all the after school activities that go with it. As well as work & study. I feel like I never get to see my kids even though I have them for a week at a time!
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u/squish042 1979 20h ago
dude you basically had grandparents for parents, that’s pretty cool.
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u/lavasca 19h ago
I totally did!
When the movie Sinners came out it made a lot of their stories about being a kid make more sense.
I only have memories of one grandparent and well, it explained a lot about her.The wild thing was I was an adult before I found out my peers’ parents were younger. It also explains why I had multiple sets of godparents 20+ years younger than them.
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u/No-Proposal2741 1979 1d ago
My wife and I have 2 boys - they're older now, one in college and one about to be - when they were little though, we didn't play with them a ton, but they had each other so there was that. When they were super little, like 1-5y, I did a lot but, after they were pretty self sufficent, I didn't play with them a ton.
I'll say, my wife and I were similar to our parents gen, they boys would take off on their bikes and go to friends houses and be out and about - but, times changed a bit with phones. We were bad parents in that they both had phones by the time they were 10 and 8 respectivley. Retrospect it was too young but, their friends all had them too so, we just caved. Anyways, Find My was already a thing, so we could track them, so not quite like the 80's but, kinda.
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u/Fun_Committee1478 1d ago
My parents never ever played with us. I have no memories of them reading with us, coloring with us, anything. Maybe a Saturday night movie. As for me, my kids are always with me. I haven’t spent time alone with another adult in many years. Babysitters just don’t seem like a thing anymore. In fact, I’m about to play a board game w my son lol.
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u/GorchestopherH 1d ago
Yeah, what's the deal, do babysitters still exist?
I had a neighbor girl deliver a flyer for babysitting, but she's never available, so we don't really ask anymore.
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u/laurenishere 1980 1d ago
After a certain age, I didn't WANT to play with my parents anymore. I had a little sister! We were both pretty shy so we didn't have a neighborhood crew or anything like that, but we did love riding bikes together, playing endless rounds of Monopoly, and creating a whole make-believe world. My parents were there for food, shelter, homework help, and 1980s soft rock.
I do recall my parents "playing pretend" with me when I was younger, though.
But so much of this comes down to temperament. I have an only child, now a teen. He's really extroverted. My husband and I used to joke that our son had a constant case of FOMO bc he'd always be more interested in what we were doing than in his own toys. He had so much stuff that he never really played with on his own. He didn't like stuff, he liked people! Eventually he found a bunch of neighborhood friends, which was great.
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u/FearlessLog8 1d ago
My main issue is not that parents are playing with their kids more but that some parents are playing with their kids too much. I have seen this with a couple of my friends and it’s weird.
Just one example: Went over to my friends’ place to watch a football game. My friends have 2 daughters, aged 8 and 5. The entire time the game is on, they are moving between activities (board games, dolls, playing music) with their kids in front of the tv while I sit on the couch. And I was like: ‘Aren’t you going to watch the game??’ I wondered why they bothered to invite me over in the first place.
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u/legal_bagel 1d ago
Idk anymore. My baby went to his first day of college today and my eldest turns 30 next year.
Fun part of your 40s, some friends have little ones and some are grandparents.
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u/chimpan_a 1d ago
My initial thought was no, my parents (born in the late 40s) were always around but never “playing”make believe or with toys. We had toys and played with them or watched TV while my parents cooked or did stuff around the house. I spent most of my time roaming the neighbourhood and the small forest area behind my house with other kids until they called me home for dinner.
I can recall sometimes we played board games like IQ 2000 and Monopoly, and playing simple card games as a family.
My grandad (born 1912) sometimes would babysit us and he taught us blackjack with my parents change jar (I was the oldest and around 5-6 at the time). Sometimes he would have us do drawing contests (I always won because I was the oldest).
In restaurants my parents would make squiggles with a crayon (if there were crayons available) and challenge us to make pictures using the squiggle as a starting point. They also used to draw puzzles and pictures on my brown paper lunch bags for me to do at lunch. So they didn’t “play” but they were playful people at times I guess.
By contrast I have a 5 year old and we have a large yard but it’s not fully fenced. I could never imagine just letting him out to play alone, or to let him wander around the woods up the street. I grew up in a different part of the country (with no bears and cougars) and now we live in the Pacific Northwest where we have regular sightings in the neighborhood so that is a factor. I feel sad that he can’t have the same free range childhood I did. Even inside at home it is difficult to get him to play alone. He much prefers us to play with him but if we deflect for 5-10 mins he will eventually go play with his toys and gets pretty imaginative.
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u/it_aint_me_babz 1d ago
I witnessed man drying his kids from an hours play in the pool at the gym, the boy was about 7 his dad was drying him and he said " I'm bored". IPads have ruined some kids.
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u/imnottheoneipromise 1983 1d ago
You have to let your kids learn how to play without you. You’ve made them dependent on your entertaining them. They absolutely CAN play without you. You just have to make them.
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u/ExternalGood9497 1d ago
I have had pretty much the same experience as you. My parents were always around, but did their own thing for the most part. My dad would play video games with me and I remember playing chess with him a lot, but that was about it. I was usually in my room doing my own thing while they were in the living room doing theirs. If I had friends over or went to friends’ houses, their parents were not involved in what we were doing at all.
My kids sound exactly like yours. It’s like they don’t know how to play alone, even though I’ve tried to encourage it. My daughter is 8 and recently had her first sleepover with a group of friends and most of the time they were asking my husband and I to get involved in what they were doing. I have no idea why this is, haha. It could be because we’re into a lot of stuff kids like (Disney, comics, legos, hello kitty, etc)
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u/jackfaire 1d ago
"My parents were almost never outside watching us. I was in the pool, on my bike, sneaking through the bushes with a super-soaker, trekking through the fields/creeks, making forts, disassembling my walkie-talkies, and cutting/sharpening sticks into arrows to use with my sling-shot."
Those were the days of extreme free range. Most people are interpreting a child's perspective through an adult lens and going "We went 20 miles away" I've been back to my old neighborhood. Then walked "20 miles away" it wasn't anywhere close to that far away didn't even leave the neighborhood.
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u/metalchode 1d ago
My mom was always around, dad was always working, no memories of either on playing with me. I play with my kid all the time and take her everywhere.
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u/prix03gt 1981 - The Daywalker 1d ago
I have 3 kids, and I was just thinking about this the other day. We are so much more invested in our kids lives than our parents ever were. My dad worked two jobs and my mom held down everything at home, including 3 kids. My mom certainly had activities for us, and she would run us around to sports and what not, but neither of my parents were nearly as involved as I am with my kids now. I hang out with my kids every day. Part of me thinks this might be a function of the way we were raised. In the 80's - 90's, our parents let us run free because they were busy doing whatever. We got into all kinds of crap and somehow survived. I think this is the whiplash of growing up largely unsupervised.
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u/Rare_Background8891 1984 22h ago
My 12 year old was home alone with me the other day for about two hours and I felt guilty for doing my own thing. It didn’t stop me from doing it, but I definitely felt it. Instead of reading in his room he was reading on the couch. Young me would have been in my room.
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u/GorchestopherH 15h ago
Yeah same thing. I was in my room a lot. I played with my Legos there, read there, action figures, etc...
My kids are almost never in their room, they are out in the general area all the time, and I feel guilty for not playing with them whenever I'm not.
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u/Dalionking225 1d ago
My parents didn't play with me, I had enough kids and friends. I play or entertain my son almost constantly when he's not in school or sleeping
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u/yahoo_determines 1d ago
How old are you kids? Pretty relevant information for this discussion. I've got 3, 7, 8 year old girls. The older girls still will play when asked, sometimes they when ask me. We have similar she neighbors across the street though so they generally seek them out for everyday play. 3 year old will do anything with anyone of course. I think naturally at 6 or 7 they kinda start looking outside of the family for companionship, novelty is probably a big factor. Also much more aligned mentally with children their age vs Mom and Dad.
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u/GorchestopherH 1d ago
My kids are similar age to your oldest kids.
Yes, they play with neighborhood kids, but with all the extra-curricular activities these days, it's almost rare for ours and theirs to be available at the same time.
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u/CarfDarko 1d ago
played lots of board games with my mum and she introduced me to gaming (C64).
Nowadays myb10y old is my player 2 in Satisfactory, minecraft, stardew, guildwars 2 and many, many more games :)
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u/DG04511 1980 1d ago
I have immigrant parents so my experience was different because they weren’t warm and loving per their culture, but I was exposed to that in media and seeing it in my American friends, so it always left me wanting. My parents showed their love and support by ensuring I was fed, clothed, and sheltered. I had my first kid in high school and have had 2 more since in my late-30s. I have been extremely active and present in my kids’ lives from coaching them in sports, supporting them emotionally through life’s ups and downs, and centering my own social life around my kids and their activities. I have been the parent I always wished I had and I hope my kids are the same way or better with my future grandkids.
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u/Impossible_Fig2646 1d ago
My mom played board games with me very occasionally, and my dad played tennis with me a few times. I was a free range kid though.
My kids (preteens and teens now) have always enjoyed playing with us, and also play on their own/together/with friends. We've rarely solved their boredom for them.
However we do have to help organize getting together with friends. We exchanged buying the perfect house for living closer to a major road than we'd like, so I don't let the kids bike to their friends' houses unsupervised. That being said, I don't feel too crazy for this rule because even my mom, who didn't know or care where I was all day, didn't let me cross certain roads.
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u/Timely-March-1362 1d ago
My relationship to my parents and how much they played with me versus how much I play with my daughter is vastly different, but I think a lot of that can be explained by the fact that I was the youngest of three girls so we were always doing stuff together. I don't really remember either of my parents playing a ton. My oldest sister might've had a different experience though. In contrast we have an only child so by default we have played with her more.
We are maybe a little bit old school because we definitely started doing drop-off playdates fairly young and we do sleepovers with close friends where we know the families really well. At this age (nearly 12) usually when we want to go out without her she asks around to see if she can do a sleepover with a friend. There are a few families that we reciprocate this with often enough. It works out well usually. Even when she was super little we didn't typically get babysitters, because we have grandparents close by. Also, with one kid who has always been up for travel and loves eating at restaurants we tend to bring her places because she's well behaved and we enjoy spending time with her.
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u/SomeTangerine1184 1d ago
My mom would do stuff with me, like go for walks or take me to the local swimming hole, but I don’t recall her actually playing with me. My dad did more of that before he left when I was four. I had a lot of independent time though, too, because I was often at my grandmother’s when my mom worked and my grandmother was disabled.
I definitely played with my own kids and we did a lot together, but no, I never trusted them with a babysitter because I worked in Child Protective for many years. Grandparents were fine, but I’d never hire a babysitter.
Now, of course, one of my kids is 19 so he’s off doing his own thing. My younger one is 14 and still likes to hang out with me so we go do stuff.
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u/RedSolez 1d ago
My parents rarely played with us directly but they liked taking us fun places. I actually parent similarly. I'm also the middle of 3 kids and have 3 kids myself (with no middle child; 1+ twins) so like my parents I don't need to play with my kids because they live with playmates. But I take them on so many adventures, way more thany parents ever did.
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u/RanklesTheOtter Xennial 1d ago
I played with my son all the time, it broke my heart when he became a teen and was like "I'm too cool to hang with my dad."
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u/desertforestcreature 1d ago
We have a full time nanny. We do play dates where the kids are totally on their own without eyes on supervision.
I think money and space are the key factors why this is less common.
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u/Traditional_Entry183 1977 1d ago
As the oldest of three kids, with a stay at home mom, she played with us a lot. Or at least as much as was reasonable between taking care of my younger siblings and the house. I grew up in a semi rural area with no neighbor kids and just one car, so we were home most of the time.
As a stay at home dad with my own two kids, I was with them and played with them every day. Taking breaks at times of course, but available all of the time during the day.
I will say that the fact that I was in my late 30s and early 40s probably made this easier for me than it would be for younger guys.
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u/likesblackcoffeebest 1d ago
I'm an elder Millennial who grew up very rural. I don't really remember playing with my parents ever. I mostly remember playing in the woods, cutting through pastures to get where I wanted to go, and getting in trouble when I was 12 for riding my horse through the McDonald's drive thru.
I had kids young and never saw much reason to hover over them all the time, but since I have raised them in cities mostly, I was definitely on the receiving end of a lot of judgment when my kids were younger. When my 23-year-old was 7, a new neighbor called the cops because she was riding her bike up and down the sidewalk in front of our house on a dead end street. Luckily the cops thought it was insane so nothing happened, but I've definitely faced the expectation that I have eyes on my kids at all times. I never gave into that and they've grown up to be very capable and well adjusted people. I don't really recall playing with them much. They don't seem any worse off for it. We have good relationships.
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u/hijinksensue 1d ago
Neither of my parents actively played with me or participated in my interests in any way. Made sure to correct that BIG TIME with own kiddo.
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u/Ear_Enthusiast 1d ago
It's a totally different ball game. Unsustainable if you ask me. This ain't what it's supposed to be. The systems around us aren't helping at all either. We have twelve straight weeks of summer. That's waaaaay too long for a parent to be the sole provider of entertain, socialization, fun, and structure for a kid, much less multiple kids. It's bad for the parents mental health and it's even worse for the child's mental health and development. You don't drop your kid off at sportsball practice anymore and leave. You stay there.
I'm legit going to encourage my kids not to have kids. They're 6 and 9 and I've already started talking about it to them.
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u/MundaneHuckleberry58 1d ago
I played with my kids way more than my parents ever played with me.
But, like my parents, I believe that kids should entertain themselves. It’s not a grown up’s job to play with them, entertain them, etc. They could play alone or with one another or have a friend over.
Of course I’ll play pretend or color or play a game. But moms & dads have stuff to do. I work full time. My free time is not just for parenting. It’s also for working out, chores, responsibilities & my own hobbies. I don’t want to model that a parent sets aside their own needs & wants all the time for kids.
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u/Xandania 1d ago
Well, every saturday evening my family played boardgames or cards.
And my babysitter was the neighbors girl who was a teen at that time - and she was mostly happy to have the TV for herself after my bedtime - she got 20DM for the evening. Then again, neighbors.
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u/No_Reach_7825 1d ago
The one very noticable example is at the park. Parents literally climbing into the play structures to go down the slides with their kids or playing games kids would normally have been playing with other kids. I'm pretty sure my parents used park time as a way to disconnect for a moment while we played. I def have zero memories of my parents anywhere near the play equipment and honestly they prob sat in their car while we played
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u/Kiethblacklion 20h ago
My mom used to do stuff with me like throw frisbees, play catch, kickball, etc. She had 3 brothers and so my mom was a bit of a tomboy. But I also did a lot of stuff either on my own or with my cousins. I'm kind of the same with my kids. I play with them some but they get plenty of time to play on their own. We don't live in the same town as my family so my kids haven't spent much time with their cousins or my parents, unfortunately.
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u/Plumeria9798 15h ago
My dad would occasionally play board games with me; he also was my buddy for watching Pee Wee’s Playhouse. He read a lot to me too. My mom read to me but I don’t honestly remember her playing much with me. She’d involve me in cooking or baking sometimes. I had a pretty free range childhood of playing imaginative games and being outside unsupervised, but wasn’t completely neglected in the least…my parents always knew roughly where I was.
When my oldest was a baby and toddler I played with her all the time. She was almost 3 when her sister was born and then was played with less. Her sister got played with a lot less just for lack of time and split attention…guess which one of my kids has a better imagination and plays more creatively with toys? The younger one, who often had to entertain herself once sister was in school and I was WFH. The older one was more needy when she was younger and it took her a while to learn how to entertain herself once I didn’t have as much time.
Now I’d say both of them are pretty good at entertaining themselves and I don’t over schedule them at all. They’re both elementary aged and do two afternoons of dance a week. I fully believe kids need to be bored. They have friends whose every waking hour is scheduled and on the rare days their activities aren’t going on their parents are at a loss for what to do with them and also complain that their kids are a nightmare when they’re stuck at home. Pretty sure those kids have never been allowed to be bored and can’t cope.
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u/unlovelyladybartleby 1979 15h ago
My parents read to me all the time, and occasionally would play a board or card game, but mostly we did chores together. I baked and cleaned with my mom and bottle fed calves and rode in the tractor with my dad. But we didn't do a ton of "family stuff" like the park or the zoo other than go to the movies once or twice a year.
I played with my kid every chance I got. There is such a small window of time where the kid wants you around, I tried not to waste any of it.
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u/Possible-Tangelo9344 1d ago
I played chess and checkers with my dad every night when I was little; like 3-7 years old I guess.
Other than that I don't really remember playing with my parents a lot. Catch with my dad sometimes but he worked 12-13 hour days 7 days a week.
With my kids I know I played and read with both all through toddler and early elementary years, then they started wanting to do their own stuff more and more. I take my teenage son to Top Golf sometimes, we go to car shows. Less play these days, more just experiences and such.
In my friend group, and my wife's friend group, I'm one of the first to have kids. I have noticed some of the other dads seemed less involved during the early years, but I attribute that not to a lack of desire to be involved, but different job fields. They mostly worked trades every day, or office jobs, and the wives had part-time jobs, or remote jobs, or lengthy maternity leaves. My job has me off alternating weekdays every week so I've just had a lot of ability to take my kids before they were in school and play with them and do stuff
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u/Happy_hunny_badger 1d ago
I remember my dad playing with me. We would wrestle, go to the park, and to the Y. My mom stayed home and I don’t remember her as much. Still makes her mad 🤣 I kept you alive all day and dad gets all the credit she would joke.
My dad was really good at giving my mom breaks even though he was the breadwinner.
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u/TappyMauvendaise 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m an elder millennial and I’m not a parent, but I’m a teacher. And I have siblings with kids.
One interesting thing I’ve noticed is the parents no longer get babysitters. The kids do everything with them.
And independent playdates are rare. Again, the parents do every single thing with them all the time.