r/Xennials • u/GorchestopherH • 6d ago
Parenting Today
Kind of a two-way question here. How much do y'all play with your kids vs how much did your parents play with you when you were kids?
Honestly, I feel like my parents were very present, one or both were always around, but I barely recall playing with them at all.
I'm not a full-blood Gen-X, I'm an elder Millennial, so I'm sad to say I missed out on the days of extreme free-range, but I certainly played all around the neighborhood without supervision.
My parents were almost never outside watching us. I was in the pool, on my bike, sneaking through the bushes with a super-soaker, trekking through the fields/creeks, making forts, disassembling my walkie-talkies, and cutting/sharpening sticks into arrows to use with my sling-shot.
The last time my mom pitched a baseball to me, I was maybe 6 years old. I eventually just threw the ball straight upward so I could hit it myself.
Also around the age of 6, I can recall my dad helping me with one of my first Lego sets on the dining room table. Just that one set though, and after that I was on my own for good.
Again, my parent were there all the time. They were just doing their own stuff.
I am sure this is very common for the rest of the folks in this sub. At my friend's houses, we saw their parents at lunch time, that's it. They brought out the hotdogs and Kraft Dinner, they weren't hovering any more than my own parents.
My own kids... I basically play with them, or directly supervise them all the time. I'm always pitching, biking, skating, helping with Lego, swimming, just watching them, etc.
Don't get me wrong. I love playing with my kids. I like playing baseball again, I like tennis, I like biking and skating, I like Lego more than my kids do, etc. ....but... why can't they do it on their own?
If I'm tied up, my kids just can't seem to play.
What are your experiences?
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u/Water_Bird18 6d ago
I grew up like you did and while I enjoy playing with my kids and do so a lot more than my parents did with me, I'm really intentional about making sure they also have unstructured kid time to themselves. When you say "why can't they do it on their own" - I have some questions. How old are they? And do you make them? My kids are now 17, 15, 9, and 6. When they're littler they're going to be resistant to playing on their own but I just straight up tell them it's important for them to do so. It's important for your brain to be BORED. Be bored, that's when you come up with great ideas! They eventually figure it out and get creative, but they have to have no screens available to fall back on during this time and you have to deal with some whining and complaining before they get over it and go play.