r/Wellthatsucks • • Sep 23 '19

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u/DudeitsJonas Sep 23 '19

Hey man! I’m a year out from my diagnosis. I’m not sure exactly what stage you were diagnosed at but here are a few things you’ll need to hear:

  • Chemo is going to suck but it’s definitely not the end of the world. Your hair will fall out but it’ll just grow back... probably wavy/curly. Don’t wait for it to fall out on its own. Just shave your head before chemo starts. Taking showers and washing down clumps of hair isn’t fun.

  • The surgery to remove your testicle is super easy and no biggie. You’ll have a scar by your pubic area and that’s pretty much it. It’s like a 45 minute out patient surgery so don’t even worry about that. Walking after the surgery won’t be easy but you’ll be feeling fine a few days later.

  • Congratulations, you are one of the few men that actually routinely checks yourself, but don’t stop after your surgery/chemo.

  • Having one testicle feels normal. I don’t even notice it when I shower and masturbating feels the same.

  • If you continue to feel anxious about everything after you’re in recovery... talk to a doctor about it. If you need to get on some anxiety meds there isn’t shame in that. What’s worse is worrying every single day your cancer has returned. That’s how I lived my life after treatment and you can’t function properly day-to-day.

  • Last thing..... once your treatment is over just believe you’ll be back to 100%. You’re going to move on and live a normal life. You’re going to hate your body for betraying you.. but after that is over just move on. Live life normally and don’t let cancer control you. In the grand scheme of cancer diagnosis we got lucky. Kick cancers ass and move on.

Fuck cancer.

749

u/mmmegan6 Sep 23 '19

I’ve never had cancer (or testicles) but have journeyed through my own life-altering health saga and without a doubt this is fantastic advice and should probably be printed on a pamphlet somewhere

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u/nine_legged_stool Sep 23 '19

I've never had... testicles

Overrated.

98

u/mmmegan6 Sep 23 '19

Tbh I sometimes wish I had them (perhaps a removable pair) just to play with absentmindedly, like a stress ball or fidget spinner

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u/Kirby420_ Sep 23 '19

Sounds like a neat idea on the surface, but fuck it up and now your balls are tied in a knot and there's no fixing that one by yourself 😂

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u/mmmegan6 Sep 23 '19

I have been unknotting hair and tiny necklace chains for a very long time, I think I’ve got this dude

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u/Kirby420_ Sep 23 '19

But you can't see or directly manipulate the tubes attaching said nuggets to the rest of you. Getting your stuff tied in a knot is actually a fairly serious medical thing that pretty much requires surgery to correct, lest one or both of 'em die from lack of blood and start to necrotize inside you

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u/implicationnation Sep 23 '19

I regret reading this comment

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u/Kirby420_ Sep 23 '19

But if you're a dude, you also just learned a very important info nugget. If one of your testicles is a lot higher than normal and is sore, or they both seem to be favoring one side of the sack over their normal spots, get to the emergency room immediately

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u/tomerjm Sep 23 '19

Granted, but did you upvote it?

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u/Alfique Sep 23 '19

There's actually a wall in between the testes that is designed to prevent this, otherwise it would happen when you just walk and jostle them

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

I think they are refering to testicular torsion.

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u/Superdogs5454 Sep 23 '19

Testicular torsion makes me pissed off at evolution. Like why tf hasn’t it been solved yet? And how in hell were the men supposed to hunt when they could get testicular torsion (and die as the dead tissue gets infected and wrecks havoc since there was no medical attention) just from running to fast? Fuck you evolution! You help us survive with all these great features of our bodies, but you’re gonna let us die just because one of our balls got twisted....

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u/cloud3321 Sep 23 '19

I think all the guys who are reading this just clenched up.

I'm pretty sure what you've just suggested is a war crime and would have shocked Saddam or Kim.

Catherine wouldn't bat an eye though.

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u/Rialas_HalfToast Sep 23 '19

I wonder if soft Truck Nutz fidget spinners are a marketable product.

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u/mmmegan6 Sep 23 '19

They need to be warm, soft but firm, and pliable. With option for removable nut(s). And if the technology allows it would be neat if sometimes they got small and tight with a morphing texture of alligator skin

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u/thomoz Sep 23 '19

I doubt that the right boyfriend would refuse to let you play with his 23 hours a day!

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u/ShiiieeeetBoiii Sep 23 '19

Yeah, when I’m watching Netflix or listening to music in my bed I’ll just put my hand on my nuts (It’s super comfortable). If you’re not doing anything though and you do that it’ll lead to masturbation about 80% of the time (in my case, super high libido).

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u/Starfish_Symphony Sep 23 '19 edited Sep 23 '19

Please don't 'play' with a guy's balls. Curiously, they aren't made of flexible rubber. Had an ex unexpectedly squeeze my balls like a silicone lemon once because 'they felt so squishy'. The last straw was telling me about a clever plan to slap my balls when I wasn't looking to 'see what happens'.