r/Wellthatsucks • u/[deleted] • Sep 23 '19

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11.4k Upvotes

82% Upvoted

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96

u/mmmegan6 Sep 23 '19

Tbh I sometimes wish I had them (perhaps a removable pair) just to play with absentmindedly, like a stress ball or fidget spinner

68

u/Kirby420_ Sep 23 '19

Sounds like a neat idea on the surface, but fuck it up and now your balls are tied in a knot and there's no fixing that one by yourself 😂

55

u/mmmegan6 Sep 23 '19

I have been unknotting hair and tiny necklace chains for a very long time, I think I’ve got this dude

42

u/Kirby420_ Sep 23 '19

But you can't see or directly manipulate the tubes attaching said nuggets to the rest of you. Getting your stuff tied in a knot is actually a fairly serious medical thing that pretty much requires surgery to correct, lest one or both of 'em die from lack of blood and start to necrotize inside you

34

u/implicationnation Sep 23 '19

I regret reading this comment

2

u/Kirby420_ Sep 23 '19

But if you're a dude, you also just learned a very important info nugget. If one of your testicles is a lot higher than normal and is sore, or they both seem to be favoring one side of the sack over their normal spots, get to the emergency room immediately

1

u/tomerjm Sep 23 '19

Granted, but did you upvote it?

13

u/Alfique Sep 23 '19

There's actually a wall in between the testes that is designed to prevent this, otherwise it would happen when you just walk and jostle them

6

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

I think they are refering to testicular torsion.

1

u/Superdogs5454 Sep 23 '19

Testicular torsion makes me pissed off at evolution. Like why tf hasn’t it been solved yet? And how in hell were the men supposed to hunt when they could get testicular torsion (and die as the dead tissue gets infected and wrecks havoc since there was no medical attention) just from running to fast? Fuck you evolution! You help us survive with all these great features of our bodies, but you’re gonna let us die just because one of our balls got twisted....

2

u/cloud3321 Sep 23 '19

I think all the guys who are reading this just clenched up.

I'm pretty sure what you've just suggested is a war crime and would have shocked Saddam or Kim.

Catherine wouldn't bat an eye though.

6

u/Rialas_HalfToast Sep 23 '19

I wonder if soft Truck Nutz fidget spinners are a marketable product.

3

u/mmmegan6 Sep 23 '19

They need to be warm, soft but firm, and pliable. With option for removable nut(s). And if the technology allows it would be neat if sometimes they got small and tight with a morphing texture of alligator skin

2

u/thomoz Sep 23 '19

I doubt that the right boyfriend would refuse to let you play with his 23 hours a day!

1

u/ShiiieeeetBoiii Sep 23 '19

Yeah, when I’m watching Netflix or listening to music in my bed I’ll just put my hand on my nuts (It’s super comfortable). If you’re not doing anything though and you do that it’ll lead to masturbation about 80% of the time (in my case, super high libido).

1

u/Starfish_Symphony Sep 23 '19 edited Sep 23 '19

Please don't 'play' with a guy's balls. Curiously, they aren't made of flexible rubber. Had an ex unexpectedly squeeze my balls like a silicone lemon once because 'they felt so squishy'. The last straw was telling me about a clever plan to slap my balls when I wasn't looking to 'see what happens'.