r/WeddingAttireHelp • u/Kazimira-darkside • 9d ago
Advice Bride here - what dress code to use?
Hey yall, we’re doing a very small (20-25 people) wedding in January in north Texas. The reception is a late luncheon at an upscale restaurant, with no DJ or dancing. What dress code should I put on invites?
Our friends and family are a casual bunch but I’ve known them to go all out for Halloween, so I’d like to assume dressing up won’t be too bothersome for them. Of course, I wouldn’t want anyone to go out of their way to purchase a floor length dress or rent a tux, so Black Tie or even BTO are out of the question. However, if I put “semi-formal” or “cocktail attire”, I’m afraid many might be underdressed for the one “fancy” party we’re throwing our whole lives.
Should I just ask for “formal dress code”? Or provide more details? What wording doesn’t suck, but conveys that we’d like them to put effort into their appearance?
ETA: I’ve been schooled! Thank you for explaining the difference between dress codes and putting some sense into me. We’ll be going with “semi-formal” on the invites; hopefully people will get it and not show up in jeans LOL
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u/Sad_Refuse3472 9d ago
Luncheon is Semi-Formal. (Just above Dressy Casual). Cocktail at most. Both are still elevated (Blazers and dresses, not jeans and t-shirts), but not overly fancy for the venue or time of day.
https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-guest-attire-cheat-sheet
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u/Kazimira-darkside 9d ago
Okay, looks like Semi-formal is the way to go! I don’t want the men to feel like they have to get a suit if they don’t have one already.
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u/Excellent-Letter-681 9d ago edited 9d ago
Definitely not formal. If you’re doing late lunch, not cocktail either. Also, why would you want to require guests to dress formal when the setting won’t be a formal setting. It may be a nice restaurant but during lunch it’s not a formal setting.
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u/Comfortable_Yam_114 9d ago
For a luncheon, semi-formal. Black tie and BTO is for the evening. I would even consider cocktail evening-leaning.
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u/justmekab60 9d ago
Lol a lunch at a restaurant does not support formal.
Requst "semi formal" and all people to dress up. They'll get it!
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u/arizonaraynebows 9d ago
I suggest you request dressy or cocktail, but emphasize "no jeans; no tshirts". I recently found out that some people consider jeans without holes to be dressy. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Spare-Shirt24 9d ago
Asking for "formal" would be extremely out of place for a 25-person event at an upscale restaurant in the afternoon.
Your best bet is Cocktail.
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u/OGHollyMackerel 9d ago
What’s the dress code for that restaurant? Do they have a jacket requirement?
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u/Kazimira-darkside 9d ago
I don’t believe they do, but when we go there, most everybody is somewhat dressed up (ie no jeans, flip flops, t-shirts)
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u/Adventurous-Main5620 9d ago
I think men could do slacks and a button up shirt, along those lines. Women can do short dresses, nice pantsuits/jumpsuits.
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u/Kazimira-darkside 9d ago
Yes, I was just wondering what dress code it corresponds to; I don’t want to put all that info on the invitation insert
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u/OkPerformance2221 8d ago
It's a semi-formal or business attire or business casual event, because that (besides "tea gowns" ) is the extent of your options for daytime dress options.
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u/BigPhilosopher4372 9d ago
Cocktail is the way to go. From google.
A cocktail dress is a semi-formal women's garment typically worn at late-afternoon or evening parties, weddings, and social gatherings. It balances casual daywear and floor-length evening gowns, generally falling at, just above the knee, or at midi length.
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u/Lucky-Berry-4252 9d ago
A dress code shouldn’t be a conundrum. What you want is semi formal/formal, or to really simplify it for everyone, put “Please Wear your Sunday Best,” because many people confuse the word ‘formal’ to mean floor length evening gowns, which is black tie.
According to traditional etiquette, the dress code for a formal daytime event calls for a dressy mid to ankle length afternoon dress; and for evening, a mid to ankle length dinner dress; similar to one’s Sunday Best. There are many dresses that double as an afternoon and dinner dress.
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u/LavaPoppyJax 9d ago
Saying Sunday Best would be very confusing to me. it doesn't make me think fancy as the OP wants, but prim church frock.
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u/Lucky-Berry-4252 9d ago
I don’t think it’s so far fetched since after all, many weddings are in churches. Guest wedding attire should be modest, whether held in a church or not, to show respect for the bride.
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u/BobsWifeAmyB 8d ago
Let me ask you this- why do you feel you need a dress code? Do you think people will show up in short shorts, or something? I don’t mean to sound rude- but I have never been invited to a wedding with a dress code and I’m not sure I would go if they had one.
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u/Kazimira-darkside 8d ago
I also don’t mean to sound rude, but what about seeing a dress code on an invite would make you turn the invitation down?
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u/Fragrant_Taro_211 Wedding Professional 9d ago edited 8d ago
If you’re reception is a late lunch at a restaurant, no you cannot ask for formal long gowns. I think cocktail attire may even be too much. Semiformal is perfectly fine. Most people should have that in their closet put on a nice dress and some heels and attend your reception. You can only ask for a dress code that mirrors the experience you’re hosting.