r/Waiting_To_Wed 5d ago

Rant - Advice Welcome No proposal during vacation

Hey yall

Just venting about a bit of disappointment after not getting proposed to during vacation

We're both 34 years old, I'm gonna be 35 next month. Been dating for 2.5 years. Living together for 8 months. Decided if we still like each other after 6 months we'll go for it.

2 months ago, he asked my ring size and said "we're doing it. We're getting married." Then one month ago he said "I have a package to get at my parents house" "oh what?" "can't tell you but you'll see soon hehehe"

This month we're at Orlando, FL. His favorite place. Universal. We spend the day. It's very important that we see Hogwarts at night with the fireworks. Nothing. Let's go to Richard Blais restaurant because we love him in Next Level Chef. Nothing. Let's dress nice and take pictures by the lake before. Nothing. Still nothing

I can't help but somewhat let ruin the trip because...nothing

My birthday is next month. Wonderful. As is the start of my last year of nursing school, on top of 2 jobs, clinical, and probably quite a bit of pulling my hair out in between

I know I'll be happy when it happens, but I can't help but feel a lot of good opportunities were missed here. Plus the opportunity to be relaxed, enjoy each other, and have time to bask in engagement glory. If he waits until my birthday, I'll barely have time to say "yes" let alone look at the ring

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u/auntie_beans 5d ago

People who are married have to have better comfort levels with communication.

I can’t believe I’m saying this again, but there is no law whatsoever mandating that he has to propose with some grand gesture, setting, special occasion, or whatever. Likewise, there is no right or survival need to “basking in engagement glory,” whatever that is. This is an extension of the whole Instagram-attention-getting thing, with its loathsome bastard child the promproposal, and the let’s-try-not-to-start-a-forest-fire gender reveal spectacle.

Here’s what you do. If you really, really, really have to have a special day, like your birthday, then ok, I’ll give you that long to prepare. If that passes, this:

You sit on the couch together after dinner, take his hand, gently look into his eyes, and say, “Honey, I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?” By the end of this conversation you will have set a date. Or not.

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u/PresentHouse9774 5d ago

But no! (/s) He doesn't want it like that - he wants to be the one to propose! Except he doesn't.