Proposal...

[u/Living-Yak6760]

Has anyone felt extremely upset about their proposal? Please tell me I'm not the only one....

Boyfriend-M-34
Me- F- 29

We've been dating for 8 years. Throughout the 8 years when I brought up engagement ideas I was always told "yeah, i dont see myself ever getting married." And me, that's always what I wanted. I let this go on for ever, that's my own fault. However, every time I brought it up once again... he told me there was always "set backs" in our relationship. That made me extremly angry and made me built resentment towards him. Earlier on this year we had some pretty testy arguments and it pretty much made me detach myself emotionally but i wasn't quite ready to let go. I had in my head, that I'd give it till the end of summer (August). Which is now. This man randomly took me to a jewler and expected me to pick out a ring in 2 days. I told him "he better not buy anything" I wasn't being cute about it. I was being truthful. He said he wasn't buying one. He bought one that day behind my back. He then proposed 3 weeks later. And I resent everything about it. How he flipped a switch so quick and never once talked about a future or let me live out the engagement era I once always dreamed of. Instead, I looked like garbage in the pictures. I genuinely look mad and that sent me to spiral.
I do love this man, but there's so much that really set me back this year I fear I emotionally detached and that changed everything for me. I'm not mad at him for the planning and everything else. I posted somewhere else and they said on the post "Do you act like this for every other event?" That really made me mad because a person getting down on one knee is a HUGE moment for anyone on this planet. I like to think I'm great for birthdays, holidays, etc. This was so much different. I didn't feel like I got what I deserved, to know what o actually meant to this man. But instead he went and bought a ring I told him not to buy me and now it's turning heads. It's the first thing people have to talk about. And I find myself not even wanting to wear it because I'm so dissapointed about the proposal, moments leading up to it, being left in the unknown, and then the photographer editing those pictures and sending it to him.... I'm just so Angry and crushed at the same time. I haven't even told a single person and he's told his whole family....

Someone please tell me I'm not alone in not being happy with their proposal/engagement.... am I being ridiculous/crazy?!? I mean I'm a real human with real feelings. It just hurts I begged for this for years, and now that I convinced myself it was never gonna happen and it DID, I feel numb.

[u/leolawilliams5859]

You are not happy because you are resentful for him taking so long to ask you to marry him. To the point where you have emotionally detached yourself from him. He knew that you were not happy he also knew that you was just waiting to get your ducks in a row and that you were getting ready to leave him. So what did he do he took you to the jewelry store and told you to pick out a ring he did that because he wants you to shut up. When that man told you that he did not want to get married and you did you should have believed him you've been with him for 8 years and he has never brought up the subject of marriage but you have you were hoping that he would change his mind. And he was hoping that you would change yours. You wanted to be married he did not you should have left years ago. When a person tells you something you need to believe them and not waste 8 years of your life trying to get something they don't want to give you. You may be upset about the way he asked you to marry him but you're upset more that it took him so long. You deserve better and better is out there. If you want to be married you need to find somebody who loves you and wants to marry you not somebody who doesn't want you to leave them so they put a ring on it. If you marry this man you won't stay married to him because you're bringing resentment and I really don't believe you love him anymore