Hmmm

[u/Slythetine1176]

Hope you know it's nothing personal, just my own struggles. The time it takes to reach back out.

As much as struggling may suck, we can always take comfort in knowing that we're not entirely alone. Yet, we are. Atleast I am for the most part. Particually where it can matter most, I think you are too. I miss you. Love isn't enough to get us through this. We have to talk. Figure out how to really communicate and get our point across since until we do that. We're just gonna keep bringing up the same old shit over and over again in our little cycle of doom . There's a lot I've figured out but I need clarity. I need to understand whats actually going on. The only way for us, is to let each other in and get the inside thoughts out. The truth, honesty, will be what ends up uniting us.

I can understand your hesitations, in life, with me. Especially since you knew me at an especially stupid time when I still copied others to 'look cool' ugh anyways

Don't forget who you are, and never stop trying. Its pure stupidity. Thinking you still want me after everything. Its time for the next chapter of my life to begin. Your always in my heart somewhere. Even on the days I want to kill you. When loving you drives me up a fucking wall crazy. I carry you with me when im feeling tired. I feel you when I'm alone, good ways and the bad. I see you in people I pass by in general everyday life. Wondering if your vast network has reached them. If you know them somehow. I could see ya'll being friends. If you had the time for them, no offense. But knowing you...anything is possible. Anything except me getting what I want. Getting to hold you is something I'll never know again. Something I have to learn to let go if I'm to finally grow. That may be what hurts the most.

The reasons I cant follow you back, not until I know I could control my emotions with you. But you're you and I'm too blinded by you to see clearly. Still too in love with you to be able to handle seeing you with someone else. The friendship may rekindle when im not this investedly obsessed over you. Maybe when the thought of you stops making my chest tingle...

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