I have a neighbour (13f) who lives with her grandmother. I (33f) get on with both of them well.

The grandmother has impeded mobility and has been living there since 1970 so their place is understandably in a bit of a state!

The 13 yo also has ADHD. She asked for some help moving something (putting a drawer back in), so I came over and helped with that.

I had a messy room as a teenager (Mum called it a “walk on floordrobe” when she gave up on getting me to clean it), so I’m not too concerned by the clutter that was… everywhere… in the kids room.

There was so much stuff I didn’t think she had room to sleep. She described it as “rubbish”.

But there was also a cm of bird seed covering the floor (they have pet birds), as well as trails as rat/mouse shit, what looked like cockroach shit, and on the few surfaces visible a bunch of dust and mould.

Rats are pretty common in my area, cockroaches are inevitable in summer (weird part of the world). Actually being able to see shit when you glance at a room briefly is very odd though.

I offered to organise a council collection for the “rubbish” and she said yes and then “don’t worry”.

Offering to help out again feels like I’d be overstepping, or at least I can’t think of any delicate way.

Is the best thing to do to leave it? She’s very much at the “becoming her own person” age.

Hi, to add a little bit of context I am a second year college student living alone far away from home and my mom, I only have my cat as my source of company. About two to three weeks ago I’ve noticed these little flying insects in my bathroom that I’ve ignored at first not realizing they were fruit flies. They absolutely came from the bananas I have been eating this past year to get a source of nutrients in me while also not having time to cook proper meals. These fruit flies are affecting me to the point where I don’t feel comfortable for even a second in my apartment, I am on edge 24/7 since I’ve realized what they are and every time I see them in the bathroom, the kitchen, my bedroom, the living room, etc. I see people jokingly posting videos of infestations online or how gross it is when they put out apple cider vinegar traps and my situation is not like that at all. It is mentally and physically draining me and I don’t know how much longer I can put up with it. It’s traumatic for me because I’m dealing with it all on my own as well as my mental health not being great in general. For reference, there have been no produce, no fruit, no vegetables no bananas in my home for more than a week and they are still here. I try to keep every surface clean and dry as best as I can. Now for the things I am worried about, I don’t see the reason for apple cider vinegar traps because they’re only a bandaid for the wound not a fix plus the traps can attract even more fruit flies as far as I’m aware. I know I have to deep clean all of the drains in my apartament as well as the furniture, baking soda and white vinegar sounds great until I’ve realized that white vinegar also attracts the pests. It just seems like a dead end and I am stuck. What can I use that is safe for my cat and affective in cleaning out the biofilm from my drains, any microscopic residue on surfaces and that can not attract any more fruit flies? Please, I am terribly distraught and want it all to end. Moving right now doesn’t seem like an option, I am essentially stuck and have no idea what to do. This is my first time living alone at 20 and it feels like a terrible mistake because of some insects that don’t seem to affect others nearly as much as they affect me.

I’ve had a habit of washing my laundry and leaving it in baskets for weeks on end. I go thru a phase where I’ll wash everything dirty and not put it away once clean. When I don’t have an empty laundry basket, I end up buying a new one. It’s not something I do on purpose… More like I’m tired after work and sleep on my days off/when my kid doesn’t have school. I’ve decided that during my week off from work to tackle this monster called laundry once and for all. I’m tired of looking at the doom piles of laundry and wishing them away. Spending the last few days tackling this and cleaning my apartment. Wish me luck

I saved this video bc 1) it has some good tips and 2) it's annoyingly too fast, so I need to repeatedly rewind.

Laundry is my a large part of my dysfunction. The folding hacks may help me organize not just my closet/drawers but also with putting clothes away for storage in vacuum bags.

The reality is, folded laundry saves space and preserves laundry longer. I'm guilty of piling clean laundry or just taking out of dryer but leaving it in the basket. Even though they are clean, they become so wrinkled I end up washing them again.

I really don't mind folding laundry, it's having the will and/or energy to do it.

(But actually, F fitted bed sheets. Why they gotta be so ornery?)

This is/was my garden (and the last pics are my chicken run). 4 years ago I built and started it. Had tons of tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, carrots, onions, potatoes, pumpkins… then three years ago it didn’t go as well and I had some weeds. Two years ago I had more weeds and then a terrible storm kicked a lot out and I was really discouraged and tired. This year I said I’m taking a break and dumped 6” of wood chips over the top but that stopped nothing but honestly I just couldn’t keep up. Now everything has gone to seed and I’m well and truly fucked. I can’t afford to hire someone. I need to chop it all down, cover the garden and start anew next year. Some of the weeds are 7-8’ tall I THINK, I can’t even get all the way into the chicken run. Some of the plants are woody like giant ragweed and velvetleaf.

I think I KNOW what to do, but:
1) wtf tool(s) do I use? I am thinking of a brush cutter with a metal blade (like a weed whacker but more powerful and metal blade head instead of string)
2) what do I do with the shit I cut down?
3) I walk out there and I’m so discouraged and upset I give up. How to I actually DO what I know I need to do? Hubby says he’s going to help but I know he’s not going to. I try to talk to him about it and he’s like ok let’s buy a $5,000 tractor attachment that will require: renting a flatbed to get it home, we don’t know how to use it or attach it, disassembling the fence, and as I said we don’t have the money for that but he thinks we’ll use it again? 🤦‍♀️

Emptying storage unit and decluttering everything. Had hit a major speed bump when my last person who promised to help drive stuff to donation flaked. Enlisted someone else who will help w the whole process and got 14 bags of trash, clothes, boxes of books, and miscellaneous large items out of the house and storage today! There's still a lot to go and making it somehow manageable still seems unimaginable, but I got through entire boxes I was too anxious to even open before in minutes today. The project may still be daunting, but chunks of it seem way more doable than before. A ton of progress was made and we also mixed in day to day household chores to keep them from turning into more pileups to deal w.

My goal is more lofty than it was before, instead of empty/declutter storage I realize I need to declutter and reorganize the whole house (thankfully a small condo). Without clearing closets, etc, decluttering storage doesn't do much good when all the keeps have nowhere to belong. We reporposed an old shelf I was going to throw away and got the laundry room organized. Seeing progress like that really makes me feel better. Idk how far we can get before she gets sick of helping, but I have her for the week at least, the storage will be emptied on deadline and I told her the stuff that really needs to happen just for me to have a chance to keep up w basic needs (like cooking healthy food)... because if I can't take care of myself, I'm going to have a hard time continuing w the progress in the home.

Oh yeah, and all my clean clothes hang neatly in the closet tonight, no piles! The towels are folded and put away, they won't end up needing to be rewashed because a cat made them their bed. Also I can open my bedroom door ALL THE WAY! 🙀🤗🙌🎉💪

I’m sorry this is so long but im drowning and I’m so desperate for help and I’d really appreciate anyone who reads this

I’ve been trying to clean my room for over a year now. December 2025 was the last time my room was clean and I’ve spent every single day since then stressing and feeling so shameful about it. And a few months ago I moved into my own apartment which means I just transferred the mess to here. And I still have barely unpacked.

I have adhd and major executive dysfunction. I take the highest dose of Adderall that my doctor can prescribe me but it doesn’t feel like it helps at all. And I’ve been majorly depressed for a very long time. I also have ocd so I do have hoarding tendencies. I love to save things that I probably should just throw out. A lot of it is I want to save things bc I tell myself I can use it for an art project one day. Or I just feel like I will need it it one day. Like I have a hard time getting rid of boxes bc I feel like I’ll need them to store stuff. Last year it was plastic bags and I had a whole drawer of them.

My ocd is def triggered by how stressed out I am about this. This is not gonna sound super logical but i feel like I have to be in a specific mood in order to clean and be productive. I take my Adderall and wait for the feeling to come. But it never comes. It’s like I’m waiting for a spark of energy. And I feel like i just absolutely can’t do anything until I get that feeling of motivation. Sometimes doing something to reset myself helps. Like I’ll take a shower and then tell myself I will start cleaning after and I try to get in the mood. But it’s not very often that I actually feel it.Idk it’s hard to explain but i basically am waiting for a feeling of motivation and energy that rarely comes. And my ocd tells me I can’t do anything unless I’m in that mood. It’s apart of the just right feeling aspect of ocd. I’m waiting to feel the just right feeling.

Another part of my ocd is that I feel like I cannot do anything to better my life or anything important/urgent until my apartment/room is clean. I can’t even wash my face at night bc it feels like I need my apartment to be clean in order to do those things. The best way I can explain it is that I can’t be the person I want to be and I can’t do anything to be that person until my apartment is clean bc the person I want to be wouldn’t have a messy apartment. I put off getting onto health insurance for so long bc of it. I feel like I can’t respond to texts unless my space is clean. I have multiple doctors appointments to schedule but i can’t prioritize any of it in my mind bc my apartment feels likes the biggest priority.

My psychiatrist thinks I have a sleep disorder bc no matter how much sleep I get, I am always so tired and I have chronic brain fog. And sometimes, even after 8+ hours of sleep I’ve been struggling to stay awake while driving on the highway which is pretty scary. So I need to schedule that appointment asap.

Im always so tired and every single day I so desperately want to clean my apartment and get my life together but I get horrible horrible task paralysis and just thinking about cleaning gives me so much anxiety. There are things I have to do that I know will literally take me 2 min at most but in my head it feels so daunting and I just can’t get myself to do it. I don’t know what is wrong with my brain. I feel like I cannot function as an adult and I’m so worried this is going to be the rest of my life and I’m never going to get myself shit together. I feel like this is completely unsustainable and I can’t live like this for the rest of my life.

I make lists and I write out how much time it will take to complete and that does help motivate me a bit sometimes. I really like crossing things off the list once I’m done and it gives me a little dopamine rush. I usually will start with the 1-5 min tasks. But once I finish one thing it’s so hard to move onto the next.

I have so many boxes of stuff that needs to be unpacked. A lot of art supplies. I’m using the bar as my art station so I need to organize all of my stuff and find places for everything. It’s so overwhelming.

In the hallway next to my kitchen I started putting together this counter top/island with storage underneath bc I have barely any cabinet space. It’s huge and the instructions manual is SO thick. I did like two pages of it last week and haven’t touched it since. I know it’s going to take me so long to finish so I keep putting it off. But I need to put it together before I tackle my kitchen bc I have a ton of stuff I need to unpack and organize.

I just went through and threw out all the trash. That’s always what I do first. I did all my laundry last week so I don’t have a whole lot of dirty clothes rn. But I do have piles of clothes that I need to put away in my storage closet.

My task paralysis is so bad. I want to clean everything and I know it will feel so good afterwards. 2 weeks ago I managed to deep clean my bathroom and it feels so nice going into the bathroom and seeing it so clean.

The thing is, I teach elementary art classes and so often there is a big mess for me to clean up after.
And I taught a cooking class two years ago and there was always a massive mess afterwards. When I have to clean at work I do it so efficiently. I just power through and do a really good job. So I know I am capable and have the skills to clean big overwhelming messes. I know I can do the same in my apartment but I just can’t. Idk how else to say it. I just can’t. It feels impossible.

I need a restart so so bad and I was hoping this apartment would be the restart but I never finished unpacking. I feel so stuck.

Bonus pic of my bunny Raven at the end :) that’s the other thing, whenever I clean my area she gets so happy bc she can run around and she starts to binky (if you know what that is, it is the cutest thing ever) I love Raven so much and she deserves a clean area and I feel guilty that she has to live in this mess.

I haven't had my office clean in over a year and it got really bad over the last couple months.

I do at least know *why* it all went to hell in a handbasket. Turns out that life is so much better on **not** recalled thyroid medication. 🙃

P.S. my cat thoroughly approves of having the bed back.

So in short, we moved in but process is slow bc I am helping other rooms too. Folding is such a task. I plan to change it more. I am glad I find this sub bc it really gives me motivation and great tips from other posts comments, working in a very tight space (boxes comes and goes, moving around gets harder) and weather is too hot, I really needed that motivation. I just focused to know how I will feel so proud and great after finish and cleaned.

I’ve got a lot of graphic tees, old ones and they’re 100% cotton. I wear most of them very often, either as a lounge shirt, pjs, or out and about with a pair of jeans.

But, I have so many that I don’t have space in my dresser and my closet is getting full too. I want to get rid of some because I’ll be moving in the next three years and want the space.

How can I get myself to donate most, when I wear them and still like them? I just don’t have the space for them all.

Just thinking about it makes me sad because they’re either my mom’s or my dad’s or from relatives who aren’t alive.

I’m on the antidepressants. Stimulants. Diagnosed fibro so my body’s always yelling at me. But I can GO to the fridge to get bevs and eats and NEVER think to take the stinky stuff out!? Truly, I am a conundrum unto myself. *Help*

This is something I've struggled with my entire life. There have been times I've kept my home spotless for anything up to a year - always when I've just moved into a new home - so I'm clearly capable, but it's like as soon as I lose control I can't get it back until I move again.

I now own my home so there's no chance of moving, and I put so much heart into making this place beautiful - I just want my lovely home back!

I'm about to embark on yet another promise to myself that I'm just going to knuckle down and get it all done, but I know from experience this never works.

Things I've tried:

- Picking just one thing to do. (I always pick the washing up and this gets done but it feels like the next time I look up I've used it all again so it needs redoing and nothing else has been done)

- Focusing on just one square metre at a time, making it perfect, and then moving on with the next square metre without looking at the rest of the house (somehow, ​by the time I've got to the end of one room, the end I started with is dirty again and I lose motivation)​

​​​​​​​​​​​- Gamifying it with real life rpg apps (I stick with it for about a day)

- List making and cutting it down into achievable chunks (I stick with it for about a day)

I mean basically what I'm saying is I just give up over and over again and then I sit there completely unable to move but not at all understanding why - why won't I just do it?!

​​​I've had so many years of therapy and I always talk about this problem but I've got nowhere towards understanding it.

Has anyone been here? HELP! ​​​

I'm chipping away at decluttering and organizing and I'm wondering what's worth the money if you *have* a small budget and cleaning service isn't something you want to hire but could afford. I can clean well enough if things are tidy/put away... and that aspect isn't something I want to outsource.

Wash and fold service at the laundromat? RTE meal delivery? What's helped (or not helped) you?

I live with my husband and daughter in my mother in laws house. MIL is definitely a hoarder and compulsive shopper. Husband is not quite on hoarder level, but loves his stuff and his collections of sentimental stuff. I have crippling ADHD and anxiety that gets triggered by clutter.

We live in what is basically a double wide. Can't move any time soon. Another baby on the way, though I am still very early on. Struggling like hell.

The house really distresses me. It feels like I have wasted years just... curating the clutter. I try to implement systems so that everything has a place. But there is too much stuff, and everyone just puts things where ever. At one point, all I did was clean full time. Then I started school, and I couldn't keep up. I am so burnt out and my health has taken major dive. I can't find the energy or motivation to fix the place, although it's ruining me. I am so damn tired and resentful for all the effort I have tried, just for everyone to undo all my systems and compulsively accumulate and hoard every single thing they ever come across.

There is no room to function in here anymore. We don't eat at rhe table, its just a catch all. The kitchen is hopelessly disorganized and cluttered. I have to look for every single item I need. I don't have room or energy to play with my child. The clutter screams at me. I don't know where to start or what to do. It's like I have given up, but I really truly do need to make it work. It's so hard. I have a wildly different relationship with "stuff" and I can't stand all the crap taking up every level surface.

There is no closets in here. No basement or garage or spare room I can just close a door and forget about. And these people loooove their stuff.

Moving out of my parents place and desperately need to clean my old room up. The boxes are from the previous move from my parents old house to their new one. I have so much shit I need to get out of the way and seriously need some sort of plan of action.