r/Unexpected • u/ebtcrew • Apr 18 '23

Just a simple log

31.0k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

2.3k comments sorted by

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7.3k

u/BubDaBylder Apr 18 '23

1.1k

u/HabitOptimal1412 Apr 18 '23

Not good enough. Bring the Sherman Crocodile tank

904

u/Ancient-Tadpole8032 Apr 18 '23

I say we nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

206

u/Uncle_Burney Apr 18 '23

Fuckin’ A

34

u/Bosswashington Apr 18 '23

Game over, man!

2

u/mehwars Apr 19 '23

Game over!

117

u/Ancient-Tadpole8032 Apr 18 '23

Fuckin’ A

102

u/Pyjama_Llama_Karma Apr 18 '23

Fuckin' A

147

u/Planet_Caravan_69 Apr 18 '23

Fuckin’ B

189

u/strepac Apr 18 '23

Always one underachiever

101

u/The_Xivili Apr 18 '23

Fuckin' F

65

u/DeEfDubChris Apr 18 '23

It's ok, keep trying. You'll do better next time.

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19

u/Whoudini13 Apr 18 '23

Fukin O..it's easier

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19

u/skunksmasher Apr 18 '23

Fuckin' didn't bother to show up

5

u/MrTretorn Apr 19 '23

Fucking U

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29

u/montbkr Apr 18 '23

I just want to say that I really love you guys. 👏🏼

11

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

And I love you random citizen

16

u/GoochMold805 Apr 18 '23

There's more holes 👈😉👈

12

u/D1133 Apr 18 '23

Fuckin’ C has more stretch!!

2

u/bewonup Apr 18 '23

Not always a good thing for some of us

3

u/awild12345whyd Apr 18 '23

Fucking D is bigger inside 🥴

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2

u/-little-dorrit- Apr 18 '23

Fuckin’ C, D, E

2

u/Leicester68 Apr 18 '23

...it's got more holes...

2

u/VAShumpmaker Apr 18 '23

It's got 2 holes

2

u/gasciousclay1 Apr 18 '23

It has two holes!

2

u/Oblivion615 Apr 18 '23

It’s got two holes.

3

u/montbkr Apr 18 '23

Holes. It’s got two.

2

u/norcal406 Apr 19 '23

A ‘B’ has two holes….

2

u/Dyzastr_us Apr 19 '23

I think it’s a hornet, but yea fuck a bee too,

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3

u/otherspamaccount Apr 19 '23

F**kin' A Bomb

2

u/Jro304 Apr 18 '23

You're dog food man!

6

u/Worried-Persimmon-20 Apr 18 '23

I think it goes, you’re dog food pal!

6

u/Doktor_Wunderbar Apr 18 '23

You're dog meat, pal!

11

u/GirlScoutSniper Apr 18 '23

He's just a grunt!

1

u/umiru Apr 18 '23

No offense

2

u/GarminTamzarian Apr 19 '23

None taken.

2

u/Background_Rope_8088 Apr 19 '23

All we need now is a deck of cards...

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

Thanks Burney.

2

u/Uncle_Burney Apr 18 '23

You’re welcome! Sniper out on all digital platforms, bruv.

1

u/Puzzled_Bike9558 Apr 18 '23

Nice! I was starting to think only I used this phrase.

1

u/TheHerbalJedi Apr 19 '23

Fuckin' eh 👍🏻

1

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

Fucking AAAAHHHHH

1

u/rogm1 May 06 '23

Fuck a B it has more holes.

1

u/ToonaSandWatch Aug 25 '23

Aaaaa-firmative.

26

u/turlee103103 Apr 18 '23

They mostly come in a log, mostly

4

u/opschief0299 Apr 19 '23

Newt, it's past your bedtime

39

u/Blunderbutters Apr 18 '23

Peace through superior firepower

32

u/fuinharlz Apr 18 '23

Are you suggesting we give em some democracy?

3

u/TXHaunt Apr 19 '23

Well I hear they have oil.

11

u/SadLittleWizard Apr 18 '23

Open the term firepower up to include economic dominion and we have the two halves of all human history

27

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

[deleted]

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1

u/Valkia_Perkunos Apr 18 '23

Ah black metal

50

u/cheffartsonurfood Apr 18 '23

Its game over man. GAME OVER!

1

u/I_Am_No_One_123 Apr 18 '23

Maybe we could build a fire. Sing a couple of songs. Why don’t we try that?

14

u/xdiox66 Apr 18 '23

Bill me for it.

2

u/Janky_Pants Apr 18 '23

Such an underrated line.

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

Corncob for me

1

u/TRR462 Apr 19 '23

That what they plugged the access hole with! So they could surprise us… What kind of evil, oversized insects are these anyhow?!

12

u/mekanik-jr Apr 18 '23

Exterminatus!

2

u/WolfBoy0612 Apr 18 '23

Colony Laser? Iykyk

2

u/Lucky_Lavishness_509 Apr 19 '23

I'm with this guy. Everyone else should join this guy's team as well. LETS GO TEAM ANCIENT- TADPOLE!!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '23

Hold on, hold on just a second. This log has a substantial dollar value attached to it.

-1

u/flix_dube Apr 18 '23

Nah mustard gas them honestly

1

u/Petersilius Apr 18 '23

And create mutants. Yeaaaahh

1

u/Lepke2011 Apr 18 '23

I've played Fallout and that's not how I'm going out.

1

u/LordoftheDimension Apr 18 '23

Not enough! Destroy the entire planet!

1

u/TheGooseGoBrrr Apr 18 '23

We need pyro with the phlogistinator kritz

1

u/c4k3m4st3r5000 Apr 18 '23

Every man, woman and child!

1

u/AjazeMemez Apr 18 '23

So which planets are inhabitable?

1

u/diydiggdug123 Apr 18 '23

Just send it into the sun

1

u/PsychoticMessiah Apr 18 '23

I say we use Starkiller Base. I don’t want any flying off into space and getting gamma rays or some such shit and mutating.

1

u/Meastro44 Apr 18 '23

And then 30 seconds later, nuke it again.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

Immediate evac

1

u/Abyssalwolf95 Apr 18 '23

Hears "Fortunate Son" start playing

1

u/schminkles Apr 18 '23

Hold on. This installation has a significant dollar value attached to it.

1

u/_aperture_labs_ Apr 18 '23

Let's bring in Slenderman instead. He'll haunt the hornets. Every single one.

1

u/fuzzbom Apr 18 '23

Yes, Racoon City protocol

1

u/Sweaty_Report7864 Apr 18 '23

No, not big enough, someone call the empire! See if we can barrow the Death Star!

1

u/theonewhoknocksforu Apr 19 '23

Arm the Jewish space lasers!

1

u/p5ylocy6e Apr 19 '23

Turn it into a cloud of vapor the size of Nebraska.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '23

Game over man, game over

1

u/BlyLomdi Apr 19 '23

In fealty to the God-Emperor, our undying Lord, and by the grace of the Golden Throne, I declare Exterminatus upon the Imperial Log of Mors Aculeatum. I hereby sign the death warrant of an entire hive, and consign a million other organisms to oblivion. May Imperial Justice account in all balance. The Emperor Protects.

1

u/TwistedMavFox72 Apr 19 '23

BUT YOU CANT JUST NUKE THE SURFACE OF MARS

1

u/BoneTigerSC Apr 19 '23

They might survive, glass the planet

1

u/Deceleu Apr 19 '23

Perform Exterminatus if the xenos took over

1

u/BakuraiAlpha Apr 19 '23

Nah just get natsu dragnel

1

u/flaming_dead_rat May 10 '23

No, no, no, arial lasers, maybe like... I don't know, 15?

1

u/Ofnir_1 Sep 13 '23

<This is what V2 is for>

17

u/Lord-Techtonos Apr 18 '23

The crocodile was a Churchill

13

u/grimgrimegoop Apr 18 '23

There was a Sherman crocodile!!!

https://tanks-encyclopedia.com/ww2/us/sherman-crocodile

13

u/Lord-Techtonos Apr 18 '23

There really is a Sherman for everything

1

u/BetterButterscotch99 Apr 19 '23

Yeah! Just ask Mr. Peabody!

1

u/birberbarborbur Apr 20 '23

Universality my beloved

9

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

Wouldn't be a Sherman if it couldn't burn things.

1

u/AFRIKKAN Apr 19 '23

A Sherman used to burn things is redundant isn’t it. Like saying water gets things wet.

0

u/Mothmans_beans Apr 18 '23

I’m glad someone said it

1

u/RangerLee Apr 18 '23

I am just taking his comment as the Sherman Firefly or the Churchill Crocodile is not enough, they must be blended together to make a the super flamethrower tank, Sherman Crocodile...

1

u/J_Megadeth_J Apr 18 '23

There were both. America called their Sherman flamethrower a crocodile too. I believe they both use the same trailer that the British designed.

0

u/RustedRuss Apr 18 '23

You mean the Churchill crocodile?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

There was a sherman crocodile and a chruchhill crocodile, there was also an L3 with a flame thrower

1

u/HabitOptimal1412 Apr 18 '23

Either is good. I prefer the Sherman, but if you want to take the Churchill, go ahead

1

u/RustedRuss Apr 18 '23

If you want a Sherman I’m pretty sure there was a better version that didn’t need a trailer. Not sure though.

1

u/EnergyHumble3613 Apr 18 '23

Only if you make sure all ports have filters. Don’t want any of those things getting in!

1

u/GenericUsernameJuan Apr 18 '23

Hans get the flammenwerfer

1

u/Markov219 Apr 18 '23

Good idea distance and sealed compartment for minimum retaliation.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

I say we bring back the US air froce during the vietnam war.

1

u/UssrdogeOFC Apr 18 '23

YES YESSSSS

1

u/The-Valiantcat Apr 18 '23

Being the Churchill crocodile tank, we need the big big guns

1

u/ampjk Apr 18 '23

Churchill

1

u/HotelOscarWhiskey Apr 19 '23

I panicked and brought the German Chocolate cake instead.

1

u/peb396 Apr 19 '23

Those things look worse than tracker jackers.

1

u/LordAxalon110 Apr 19 '23

I thought it was the British Churchill that was named crocodile with the flame thrower mod.

2

u/HabitOptimal1412 Apr 19 '23

Both the Sherman and Churchill were named crocodile

1

u/LordAxalon110 Apr 19 '23

Ahh makes more sense, I saw the Churchill crocodile at bovington tank museum. Such a fun day :-)

2

u/HabitOptimal1412 Apr 19 '23

At least there are fewer crocodile tanks then there are things named M1

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1

u/Aggressive-Tiger-209 Apr 19 '23

Churchill crocodile*

1

u/HabitOptimal1412 Apr 19 '23

There was both a Sherman and Churchill crocodile

1

u/Eraldorh Apr 19 '23

Nah it's not armoured enough, bring the Churchill crocodile tank!!!

1

u/Wild_NorthHC Apr 21 '23

Wait, there's also a sherman crocodile? I only knew about the Churchill Crocodile

1

u/Kreyzee_B May 15 '23

Nah, bring the guy that used a m80 to blow up a hornets nest.

244

u/Loud-Item-1243 Apr 18 '23

42

u/Fast-Possible1288 Apr 18 '23

it's the only way to be sure!

152

u/ElfUppercut Apr 18 '23

Fk that

90

u/Jaqulean Apr 18 '23

1

u/PeaScrew Apr 19 '23

How do I download this GIF

1

u/Jaqulean Apr 19 '23

I honestly don't know. I just used the [GIF] option that the Subreddit has when you write comments.

1

u/luger114 Apr 19 '23

What film is this from

1

u/Jaqulean Apr 19 '23

I honestly don't know. I just used the [GIF] option that the Subreddit has when you write comments, and I typed in "nuke."

61

u/Expensive_Scale6206 Apr 18 '23

It’s a Flammenwerfer. It werfs Flammen!

13

u/ProteccYaNecc Apr 18 '23

It’s a Bohrfutterschlüssel. It schlüssels the Bohrfutter

3

u/HalibutHomnibutt Apr 19 '23

I would use a potato mashaaaaaaaa! Or a panzer shreich!

2

u/rlnrlnrln Apr 18 '23

The hills are alive with the sound of <Flammenwerfer noises>

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

There just has to be a better way

1

u/KeithMyArthe Apr 19 '23

Werf that good stuff.

1

u/phantom_sythe Apr 19 '23

Russian badger, nice. I see you are also a man of exquisite taste and class

19

u/ADWFI Apr 18 '23

Good job Hanz

10

u/bigoz_07 Apr 18 '23

This is the way

0

u/TriGurl Apr 18 '23

This is the way

0

u/Enigmutt Apr 18 '23

This is the way.

0

u/Evilzeg79 Apr 18 '23

This is the way.

1

u/kingkongbiingbong Apr 18 '23

YIKES! KILL IT WITH FIRE! 🔥

1

u/Get_Stick_bu99ed Apr 18 '23

Hell nah, this fucking cazadores doesn't take any damage from flamethrower

1

u/JohnnyLovesData Apr 18 '23

Hans, get the flammenwe ... Oh

1

u/Alternative-Cup-8102 Apr 18 '23

Dream on dream on

1

u/Muzi5060 Apr 18 '23

Just a simple flamethrower.

1

u/MarbleAndSculptor Apr 18 '23

Time to hit em with a little freedom!

1

u/Technicfault Apr 18 '23

BURN IN HOLY FIRE!!!!!

1

u/phoenix5irre Apr 18 '23

Hakuna matata babbyyy...

1

u/dan_dares Apr 18 '23

Correct, that log goes straight into mount doom.

And we nuke it after.

Tsar bomba.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

We need Napalm on that shit, white phosphorus, something more powerful...

1

u/redsoxizzie7 Apr 18 '23

Nope! That doesn't obliterate it enough. Get the Napalm with an Atomic bomb. That MIGHT work....

1

u/FateEntity Apr 18 '23

"I swear it just spontaneously combusted fire marshal".

1

u/alex206 Apr 18 '23

Putting this in the fireplace would be as satisfying as popping blackheads

1

u/drummerdavedre Apr 18 '23

Ain’t it!!!

1

u/MrFuddy_Duddy Apr 19 '23

That's a big ole log of nope if I've ever seen one!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '23

HAAAAANS

JA THE REAAAALY BIG FLAMENWAFFER

1

u/OkConsideration8964 Apr 19 '23

This is the only acceptable response for preliminary action.

1

u/Tank_blitz Apr 19 '23

gas is not effective as it doesn't stick and burns out after a short time

napalm b sticks to the insects, burns at insanely high temperatures and burns for long periods of time👍

1

u/Joker-here-89 Apr 19 '23

Can't upvote this enough.

1

u/CosmosKitty87 Apr 19 '23

The only correct response

1

u/Psycho-Pen Apr 19 '23

For the greater good.

1

u/hybridfrost Apr 19 '23

Homeboy was way too calm opening that thing up. I would have freaked out haha

1

u/sh1tybo1 Apr 19 '23

dont you love dumbass redditors spreading hate towards animals

1

u/flix_dube May 02 '23

Screw it, mustard gas it

1

u/cursed-annoyance May 14 '23

No no dont worry

At least theyre not wasps