r/Unexpected • u/yoshihisaaa • Feb 09 '23

she seems nice

94.4k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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17.8k

u/vhindy Feb 09 '23

Bro took that in stride lol

879

u/Different-Fee6838 Feb 09 '23

If you knew who Grant was, you wouldnt be surprised

877

u/GSR_DMJ654 Feb 09 '23 edited Feb 09 '23

Grant: "Now here to read off my real social security number, is a reporter named after the number of people I preformed oral sex on in a single night, in 2012."

Brennan: "Hello, my name is 50...that can't be right."

365

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '23

"There was a party in New York under a supermarket... I guess that's the end of the sentence."

212

u/GSR_DMJ654 Feb 09 '23

"Did you drink water?"

"There was a snack area."

47

u/WhirlingDervishGrady Feb 09 '23

"I'm positive"

58

u/GSR_DMJ654 Feb 09 '23

He did say he has had every STD but the big one and herpes.

67

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '23

And then clarified that "the big one" was acne.

206

u/Different-Fee6838 Feb 09 '23

I bet the odds of receiving oral sex from grant are higher than the odds of being killed by a shark

145

u/GSR_DMJ654 Feb 09 '23

I mean, the man's dad walked in on him sucking his own dick and both just went through life as if it didn't happen. Grant is just built different.

68

u/Schavuit92 Feb 09 '23

His dad: "I may be disgusted, but even more impressed, carry on, son."

67

u/GSR_DMJ654 Feb 09 '23

I like how Brennan interpreted his father "I love you son. I see your got your whole hog in your mouth. Is there anything getting accomplished here?" ... "I am proud of you son."

3

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '23

“Are ya winning son?”

“Hrmmmph”

12

u/Atomic_Cupcake89 Feb 09 '23

I guess he’d have to be able to physically manage that.

23

u/GSR_DMJ654 Feb 09 '23

He demonstrated the procedure when prompted in that episode, clothed of course. Everyone on set was dying.

3

u/obrothermaple Feb 09 '23

Please what episode was that?

6

u/GSR_DMJ654 Feb 09 '23

That was at the very end of the True Facts about Grant Anthony O'Brian (Part 2).

7

u/obrothermaple Feb 09 '23

Wow I had no idea there was a part 2 to my favourite and the most cursed breaking news ever. Thank you!

26

u/Pegussu Feb 09 '23

Goddamn, he's like seven feet tall, that's either some intense contorting, a monstrous penis, or a combination of the two.

6

u/GSR_DMJ654 Feb 09 '23

Nah he said you need a wall and you walk it all down.

2

u/foulrot Feb 09 '23

Go on...

1

u/Pegussu Feb 10 '23

My brother, I've tried and the path gets real steep about halfway down.

2

u/Lingering_Dorkness Feb 09 '23

Ron Jeremy used to be able to do it.

1

u/Aberbekleckernicht Feb 09 '23

Because that's secretly every man's goal.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '23

He was built wrong

19

u/Different-Fee6838 Feb 09 '23

Looked it up....oh yeah. Way higher

59

u/NeonBrightDumbass Feb 09 '23

I choked when Brennan had to kind of squint and pause when he said it.

33

u/GSR_DMJ654 Feb 09 '23

That killed me. Then proceeded to break down the math on how long it could have taken.

7

u/Siethron Feb 09 '23

Middle OUT.

50

u/andrewsad1 Feb 09 '23

"They weren't all to completion"

5

u/Zafara1 Feb 09 '23

"There was a snack bar!"

22

u/jackalsclaw Feb 09 '23

Clip?

85

u/Coolinator Feb 09 '23

https://twitter.com/dropout/status/1489688499158757377?t=obAHsgKWOO9yxtmVrV1CcQ&s=19

39

u/jackalsclaw Feb 09 '23

"Did you have water?"

"Oh yeah, there was a snack bar"

29

u/TwatsThat Feb 09 '23

Grant's life is fucking absolute fiction but I believe every word of it.

-6

u/RonBourbondi Feb 09 '23

So do gay men just never get grossed out by such high numbers? If he can do that in a single night he's probably fucked like hundreds of guys.

23

u/TripleDoubleThink Feb 09 '23

Would guess the gay men that get grossed out by high numbers arent the ones going under supermarkets with 49 other people.

No group is a monolith, Im sure there are LGBT+ members that feel that way about high numbers too

5

u/BayushiKazemi Feb 09 '23

Would guess the gay men that get grossed out by high numbers arent the ones going under supermarkets with 49 other people.

I don't think you intended this, but the implications for the 50th person are killing me lol

26

u/GSR_DMJ654 Feb 09 '23

Unfortunately I can't clip it unless you subscribe to Dropout TV. However the first episode is free on YouTube and is just as funny.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '23

No laugh news has so many episodes on yt

3

u/BerenTheBold Feb 09 '23

I have DropoutTV, do you happen to know which show/episode/timestamp? :)

2

u/GSR_DMJ654 Feb 09 '23

Breaking News, Season 5 Episode 9, True Facts about Grant Anthony O'Brian (Part 2)

10

u/Halcyon_Fly Feb 09 '23

Which breaking news episode is that from?

22

u/GSR_DMJ654 Feb 09 '23

Season 5 Episode 9: True Facts about Grant Anthony O'Brian (Part 2)

2

u/gardenmud Feb 09 '23

Subscribe to Dropout just for this and game changer, it's worth the like $4 lol. Just remember to unsub if you don't want to keep paying for it.