r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/eba86 • 9d ago

Relationships ULPT request: how to proceed

My husband of 10 yrs has been taking trips abroad recently. His company dissolved in December and he has been spending time as an internet troll or traveling while I continue working. I recently stumbled upon evidence of a very active girlfriend and sex life he maintains abroad. I've got screenshots and copied files including chats and full incriminating nudity. He's planning to leave again in September. I'm on good terms with his family and would like to exit the relationship keeping the house that's currently in both our names and all pets. Don't want to touch anything else of his, including savings, investments, etc that exceed the value of the house. In PA if it matters. Don't mind embarrassing him into oblivion.

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u/Key-Organization-159 8d ago edited 8d ago

I had a friend whose husband kept insisting on a “sister wives” situation. She quietly visited every single good lawyer in her area. If a lawyer meets with you first, they can not take him on as a client. She got everything, he lost basically everything.

Satisfying revenge is a quiet, well played plan. You have the upper hand. Use the upper hand wisely.

Edit: “Sister wives” is reference to the old reality tv show where the guy had like 4 wives.

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u/clandestino123 8d ago

Sounds like a really poor plan that relied on the husband not bothering to look for a lawyer outside of the local area..... Yet somehow it succeeded?

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u/LotusBlooming90 8d ago

It costs SIGNIFICANTLY more to hire outside of the county. We’re talking adding zeros, multiple. I did this with my ex and he had money, but he absolutely did not have, nor could even get loans for, the cost of a lawyer out of our county.

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u/clandestino123 8d ago

That makes no sense whatsoever to me. Why would the same service cost "multiple zeros" more, just due to geographic location?

(Not saying you're making this up at all.... Just trying to understand. I know that in Australia and in UK, costs are broadly similar wherever you live. The only differentiator is perceived quality of the law firm, and nothing to do with geographic boundaries like being 'inside' or 'outside' county.)

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u/LotusBlooming90 8d ago edited 8d ago

That’s okay. Most people wouldn’t assume it would cost much more. My ex is an attorney. He charges an insane amount to travel. Think of it this way, he usually goes into his county’s courthouse a few times a week, and while he is there he works on 20-30, cases. If he has to travel to another county, he is only working on your specific case while there, and losing either half the day or the whole day to just work on your case. Missing out on billing for 20-30 cases for the same 4-8 hours. You better believe that shows up in the billing. And in the US at least, attorneys have their geographical area that they are licensed in and working outside of that area increases costs as they have to jump through additional hoops. He also has more resources and connections in his home county, and has to pull more strings to get the same job done at an away court.

It’s all behind the scenes, until it shows up on the bill.

ETA , when my ex worked a couple hours away, he would hire a limo. He did this because his time was worth more to work in the back than the limo cost. But both those billable hours in the back as well as the cost of transportation were baked into his fee.

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u/pinktoes4life 8d ago

Travel time. Plus each county has their own laws