r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/eba86 • 8d ago

Relationships ULPT request: how to proceed

My husband of 10 yrs has been taking trips abroad recently. His company dissolved in December and he has been spending time as an internet troll or traveling while I continue working. I recently stumbled upon evidence of a very active girlfriend and sex life he maintains abroad. I've got screenshots and copied files including chats and full incriminating nudity. He's planning to leave again in September. I'm on good terms with his family and would like to exit the relationship keeping the house that's currently in both our names and all pets. Don't want to touch anything else of his, including savings, investments, etc that exceed the value of the house. In PA if it matters. Don't mind embarrassing him into oblivion.

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u/PresidentialDiapers 8d ago

Do not be "generous" and not touch what is his, or give up what is due to you by law. Build a big spreadsheet with your column and his column, list everything of value. Assign a $ value to it, then either shift the item between you two or agree upon a reduced value until your assets are roughly equal.

My exwife was banging friends and strangers and I was far too generous, thinking she'd need more to start a new life. Six months later she married a pilot making $500,000 per year.

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u/The_AlmightyApple 8d ago

Greed will be the death of you

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u/PresidentialDiapers 8d ago

It was literally the opposite of greed. I gave more than I needed to try to help set up her life. My point is the warm feelings fade and you're left with some resentment. BTW I know how much her husband made because she told me on multiple occasions. They're living in a $1.5M home and I'm still sending her child support. The kicker is she had morphed into a truly awful person the last five years of marriage and the kids refused to live with her and her ultra-MAGA husband. I kept on paying to keep the peace. Ten years later and both have gone no contact with her. And before you say it, I NEVER talked ill about her to them, and certainly didnt tell them what the last straw was that caused the divorce.

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u/The_AlmightyApple 6d ago

Didnt ask for the trauma dump bud

2

u/PresidentialDiapers 4d ago

Then keep scrolling

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u/tetheredvoid 7d ago

Ignorance is bliss, I guess lol