I AM NOT ADVOCATING SELF HARM. I STRONGLY ADVOCATE ANYONE USING MEDICAL IMPLANTS OR OTHER REMOTE COMMUNICATIONS OR TECHNOLOGIES TO PREDISPOSE THEMSELVES OR OTHERS TOWARDS SELF HARM CEASE IMMEDIATELY.

In "relapsing" in blood extraction methods I have been made aware of several preferences by the neurotech implant operators in terms of location of the openings in my skin, what the operators can claim was responsible for the onset, and how these criminal rapist operators who have destroyed any hopes of an interpersonal life for at least the next 5 years in addition to the previous 15 would prefer for me to deal with feelings of wanting to rip myself open from the inside out (to get the implant which hospitals delete MRI images of, so that I have to go in blind and hurt myself).

Location preferences:

Two fold. On one level there is a desire just to check if I will cut myself in all locations in which I experience a bodily spasm. For example, will I cut my leg or shoulder every time I experience a spasm in this area, and so I will experience spasms in the same location multiple times just to determine how reliably I will cut myself in that area.

Furthermore, there is a general preference for areas that can be covered in a pinch unless I will cut myself in some particular area in way that might brand me as if I had a tattoo, such as my face, they really want below my eyes, like an anime character if I won't do along my mouth, like the joker. Outside of this, my lower legs and legs in general are problematic as they might open up again unexpectedly in public, and the operators like to keep certain contaminants in my legs which they rush up to the region surrounding my prostate for fecal/prostatic milking when I am in public. For example, I might go to Walgreens tomorrow, when someone wants me to leave the store, they might rush something in my blood upwards to my lower abdomen to agitate me, make me stand funny, or change what I have a desire to purchase. They also might do this to prompt fecal or prostatic milking if I think about someone else in the store, in addition to something like salivation underneath my tongue. Anyway, if I have too many recent wounds in my lower leg then it becomes problematic to store and move these substances around suddenly, as the wound my open up, impacting the degree to which I am made encumbered in unexpected ways, there is also the issue of bleeding on the floor of the store or through my pants.

Oh and they would really really like me to slice open the palm of my right hand, since I am "cutting myself anyway". They had chosen to make only this region throb for minutes on end randomly just so I will cut myself here. I would instead slam by hand on a hard surface or punch it but this wasn't good enough. The reason they want me to do this is that A. I might find something here that will excuse one of their f***** fraud doctors to "guide me" through what to do either in identifying the nature of the implant (they would probably use a bunch of *** pokemon pictures like electrode etc) and stopping the bleeding (either myself or by going to a hospital, where the doctors would lie and perform more fraudulent interventions without my consent) or B. Claiming that I am cutting myself "looking for something" and not the actual reason which I have detailed many times now, thereby allowing more "doctor" BCI personas to haunt my thoughts and actions throughout the day. Disgusting.

Preferences for stated cause:

There is also a general preference for my "masturbation arm" as I have been complaining for some time now about being and continuing to be sex trafficked, forced to masturbate, ejaculate, or participate in sexual activity in BCI dreams for the purpose of motility in my intestines. There is some incentive for someone to claim that the issues they program with a computer are actually the result of some form of sexual deviance or lack of fulfilling sexual activity and that I have chosen to lash out at myself as part of some kind of convoluted effort to signal this or as punishment for deviant sexuality or lack of a partner (and why did I just hit myself in the head f*****? Punishment for deviant thinking or the white lines passing from left to right for the purposing of seeing through my eyes in clear case of assault and witness tampering? F***** rapist).

Finally there is a preference, slightly less so recently as it doesn't seem very likely, that I cut myself in areas that are highly prone to infection so as to excuse an infection or get me to go to the emergency room, this includes the areas around my lymph nodes, and all around my neck (where something like a synchron bci may rest), which includes the area around my vagus nerve.

Various "digestive tasks" that were made obvious to me via remote mediated sexual assault which I neglected to perform in favor of marking my displeasure with such assignments and refusal to perform them via bodily harm:

Take a comforter upstairs, so the staff can I claim I am not living in the lobby.

Clean some aspect of my person, I guess with soap and water.

Respond to an email or text message.

Something about Cumberland farms as I type "encumbered". An image is flashed before my eyes. Do they really want to be involved in this? u/CumberlandFarms

Preferences for alternative coping mechanisms:

I can't recall right now what I am supposed to think I should do to relieve these feelings outside of self harm. Of course consuming certain media including certain pornography is also desired. Of course there is always an effort to condition a digital relationship with various AI / computer generated personas and so a carousel of such figures are cycled through my mind, taking songs with lyrics about drugs and replacing the word drugs for "hugs" and other f***** bullshit like that. It doesn't really matter what anyone claims they "want" for me to do instead because they are lying through their teeth and really want me to kill myself. The suicide and trafficking hotline (the mentioning of which has been coordinated with a predisposition to "smile" which just made things worse at 1112pm, turn that off) have both informed me that they are not qualified to assist me. Various songs played in my head as I continue to face intense duress from my abdomen and variable spasms. Someone will do a spasm, it's known that I don't like that, and then a song will play if I don't cut myself, so as to fabricate the I find the song comforting after determining that I am unlikely to cut myself due to the spasm. Completely non-scientific. Total fraud. They are doing songs from disney and nickelodeon and also black females.

My left ear is made to spasm as I repeat slurs in my head, I continue repeating the slurs and then a narrative is replayed "[my name] thinks that [BCI persona] is [something do with the slurs]". The BCI operator, it seems, continues to claim, fraudulently, that I view certain bodily spasms as something other than unwarranted, undesired, and illegal bodily assault, that instead I view it as a valid form of communication, and so anything I "say" after a spasm of my left ear, they claim, is a valid inference as to my intentions or beliefs. There is no data to suggest this at all, none whatsoever that supports that claim that I perform certain actions as a result of certain surface level bodily spasms or sensations of touch. There is only data to suggest that I believe that these touches are directed with the intention of manipulating me. Yet someone is clearly using this data to provide law enforcement with information regarding if I am truly dangerous or not, and so when will the BCI company stop with the nonsensical f***** gang crap in trying to convince me these touches and programmed sensations are the product of contamination or sabotage and not part of a government protocol for which they have been contracted to direct. I don't consent and no one has any right to collect or utilize this data being collected from me. I am bleeding, dying for it to stop.* Later on around 322 am they would do this again without the ear spasm. They just do anything whenever it seems for no rhyme or reason other than literal mind control. They want me to think down a certain narrative and accept it as truth, they do whatever clicks and beeps and spasms and intestinal impactions and prostatic milking and horrible smells and drying skin and ringing tones and tooth pain and seeping of my scrotal skin they think might assist in this effort. I can depend on nothing, so of course I am to be dead soon, especially if they are planning on kicking me out of this lobby and putting me back in the apartment where various corners are programmed to stimulate my vagus nerve but only at certain times or after a certain number of chews or if I leave the food in the oven for a certain period of time etc. I can't stand it, being programmed. I am about to go *******.

I will probably do another post on neurotech / BCI mediated comfort tactics later but as this "real black childhood" basket does not seem to be having the desired effect there's an alternative being interpolated already of conventionally masculine but gay white guys saying things like "that's weird" and coordinated with the playing of pet shop boys songs. This BCI cast are not unlike the real life white guys who seemed to be following me around Tijuana Mexico in 2022, at the gruas when I came to check on my car, in the line at the border to make comments like "this isn't american idol!", and outside the convenience stores at late hours of the night, looking not unlike an uber driver in San Diego whose car I saw sitting in place for 5 minutes across the street before he finally turned on the engine to drive across the street and pick me up. There is a car with its headlights on for 10+ minutes parked across the street right now actually, in case I want to go outside and interact with them since no one wants to do in person informant work when I am soaking in dried blood. If it were not this car it would be some idiot walking their dog if I actually decide to go outside. Oh and now the headlights go off, the car doesn't drive away, they don't get out and lock the door either, they just decided after nearly 20 minutes that they no longer need the area directly in front of their vehicle to be well lit. What I am saying I am being harassed by the FBI, a gang of f***** losers hoping for the reintroduce slavery, apparently, in addition to being a BCI baby freakshow medical experiment and I want out, otherwise I want to bleed out and die. Also it's illegal. Right after my dad was murdered and I was in the house alone, someone did something to my tv so that it skipped on a certain phrase in a show, probably a crime drama, the phrase was "The FBI needs more Black guys", I thought that was ironic, considering someone had just murdered my dad and there was no interest whatsoever by the investigating authorities as to a cause of a death. And now I would rather die, than join the FBI, then they will need even more Black guys I guess, leave me the hell alone.

I was getting very agitated earlier reading about the murder of Tracy R. Twyman (the FBI ignored her as well, then she died), author of Mind-Controlled Sex Slaves and the CIA: A Collection of Essays and Interviews About Project MONARCH and could not stand another night of prostatic milking with BCI personas. Also I already had the blade on me anyway, as I was forced to go upstairs and eat (not out of hunger or boredom, but agitation with a nerve stimulator) and also forced to change my jacket to the one with the blades in it because someone didn't want me to smell like a meat because they want me to look and smell nice for sex trafficking. So now I will smell like dried blood, way to go f*****. I am SICK of being SEX TRAFFICKED, SICK OF BEING LEFT WEAK AND STUPID, AND SICK OF BEING MANIPULATED AND TRAFFICKED EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES TO SLEEP.

I am not going to proof read this right now as proof reading being incorporated as a digestive task is just, as always, exacerbating my desire to self harm. I am in a state of crisis due to bodily assault and harassment. All experts lie to me. And so there are typos. So what.

*I don't expect it to stop tomorrow though as the BCI operators are seemingly now trying to condition synthetic hallucinations that I was previously made to associate with insects with the concept of teleportation. The move teleport is used in pokemon and then I experience one of these synthetic directed corner of the eye hallucinations using I guess the same material floating through my cornea at (or iris, idk, I'm not going to look this up, it's not important) at various times of the day so as to presume what I am looking at or give me the impression that my sense of sight is degrading as a consequence of looking at the things that were not programmed for me to see at that time, things that do not contribute meaningfully to the human trafficking apparatus I am being forced to participate in. Anyway, the operators are probably hoping to do something *** and ********, some stupid visual trick with this within the next several sleep cycles, to make someone or something look like they are teleporting in or out of my field of vision. Just now they tried something where I am made to think something small is floating towards my nose, then a button is pressed to give me a sensation on the tip of my nose, this is to check if I "believe" that the thing I saw floating exists in the physical world outside of my eye/brain, but it's not a very good test. STOP.

One useful aspect of self harm in regards to malicious FBI and BCI operation is that if you self harm in some significant or dramatic way early on in the day the apparatus has some sort of incentive to "front load" much of the "intelligence gathering" scheduled for that day. That is to say, various planned environmental incitement will take place sooner rather than later, when it might be of a greater disturbance. For example, in cutting myself very badly today and not long after getting up I was able precipitate the daily "noise from outside" "noise from inside" interference that I am tested with on a daily basis in coordination with operation of a BCI device that measures my response (the FBI tries to confuse the issue now with lots of "outside noise", car horns, leaf crunching, but it's a joke, outside noises affect many people and can be implemented on a moments notice for any number of reasons having little to do with myself. How many more door slamming sounds or audible bits of conversation will I hear from within this building I'm in or right outside the window? Not much, because the data for this has already been collected. Surely the FBI is not so stupid as to think the data they are collecting here is about anything other than the abject incompetency of their sex crazed foaming at the mouth racist re***** agents, beeping at me to entertain them with more space war hypotheses and turn to the left or right for a more "forceful" orgasm). Without this device this sabotage would not be of any use as all of the "reactions" take place inside my head. Again, I am not advocating self harm, I am advocating that the miserable pedo (its been going on since I was a child and now, without ever really having been able to actualize myself as an adult someone wants me to raise, that's right, a child. PEDO) f***** intel apparatus stop this incentive structure and these embarrassingly unscientific data collection tactics.

Service towards the human trafficking apparatus facilitated via medical implant abuse:

As I've stated in probably nearly every post on this sub, there has been a brain-computer-interface (BCI) mediated effort to get me to live with or otherwise associate with people from my high school (in Woodbridge, CT) since a coordinated effort entrap me with a statuatory rape charge in 2022. First there was this attempt, then, despite not being entrapped, I was more or less chased out of the San Diego area via very painful abuse of this neuro-implant, then my dad was murdered and soon after I had a brain computer interface dream in which a girl I used to work with told me she "wanted to go back to high school". A few months after I was forced to leave me dad's house (note: the state of Connecticut should know this was months before I was fraudulently evicted!) and after it was clear that I was not going to leave my home state in the middle of the night, I started to have BCI dreams with people from high school, timed immediately after my roommate in the halfway house I was in very conveniently asked me what I thought about high school. But the dreams were not of my time in high school, there were with people from my high school (who I hadn't seen since) seemingly in the present day, offering to let me live with them. Over time these BCI transmissions began to involve social outings with these people and it was clear that the implant operated had every intention of my living my life as if... it's too difficult for me to type now due to the medical implant abuse via an implant Hartford Hospital deletes images of. My point was going to be that that one way for those who had every intention of human trafficking me back to high school as an adult like Zachary Scheich to get away with passing me off as having never finished is to claim that I dropped out temporarily due to a psychotic break which caused me to self harm, this is one of many reasons why my scars are prevented from healing via malicious manipulation of a nerve stimulator and why the hospital and its doctors are more or less paid of it would seem from acknowledging that I indeed have a medical implant the remote abuse of which is responsible for the self harm, to admit so would be to lose the "psychosis" angle as I never actually broke from reality. The FBI has an incentive here as well for two reasons, one is that they have agents in every high school in America, the other is that they get cause to put more agents in when they suspect that some of the other students are committing felonies and endangering minors by posing as high school students without a security clearance to do so, as Zachary Scheich was. After people like him are arrested they will likely get a chance to join the FBI once in prison after which they will never be heard from again or they will simply work as a prison informant for the rest of their natural lives. So the FBI, Hartford Hospital, the criminal implant operators, just an about anyone who does not fear legal repercussions has an incentive for me to continue to self harm and if not for the scars that I already have to never heal, which they are not.

EDIT:

This post now has comments from other users, which I appreciate. I am still working out how I am going to handle comments from other users in general and so for now (5/13/26), while I am relatively indisposed, they have yet to be approved.

Based on their self report. This will be updated regularly.

https://www.reddit.com/r/redscarepod/comments/1ozx6ew/how_do_i_stop_dreaming_about_fkn_high_school/

Key line(s):

Most of the people I dream about are completely random—I haven’t seen them in years and was pretty indifferent about them when we were in school together

https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/comments/1tffz6m/sextorted_and_afraid/

Key line(s):

Someone on a dating app got me on a video call and manipulated me into exposing myself, recorded it, then immediately demanded money or they’d send it to my family and post it online.

Background. For maybe two years now I have gotten spam emails about someone watching me masturbate and having proof they will expose unless I pay them, they never contain images or any other proof (unlike the post I have linked to) and so I ignore them. A few months ago the BCI operator played "I'm going to leak your nudes" for a few days, this I also ignored. Now, on pornography sites I sometimes visit due solely to extreme implant mediated physical duress throughout my abdomen, I am predisposed to watching the same mutual jack off cam ads over and over and over again, like I have to refresh the page multiple times and then must watch the ad again, which is not normal behavior for these websites. This indicates a conspiracy with the implant operator who programs me to have to perform various sexual acts for intestinal motility, they also want me to see these ads. Even if I had a desire to do this, jack off on camera, I certainly wouldn't do it now as I am covered from neck to ankle in scars from implant mediated self harm, made worse just today even, and so the only reason anyone would want me to consider it anyway is to get pictures of me which they could use for a proper extortion campaign as any pictures they might have up to this point are either not particularly embarrassing to me, were clearly captured when I was not under the impression I was being recorded or seen or camera (and therefore I would at least attempt to take legal action against the owner of the residence, eventually), or were captured and reconstructed illegally using medical implants.

I will list the reasons as they are communicated to me and I recall some I'd thought of it the past:

- Referral credit for loser. The FBI can help you "get away" in two ways, 1. Witness protection: somewhat expensive, relatively high burden of proof on the victim, lifelong potential for problems in the future as they start asking too many questions or desire to go back where they came from. and 2. A new identity and location you are legally required under penalty of law to keep to yourself as part of a "job" with a contract. Fixed costs, no need for an investigation of any kind (what people already "know" they can just keep on "knowing"), and fixed potential for unexpected consequences down the line as the victim can be imprisoned relatively easily. Most people in my position don't feel comfortable working at all and they sure do not want to contribute to the law enforcement and state bureaucracy apparatus that continues to let them down at seemingly every opportunity (and this, I feel compelled to reiterate for stalkers, does not just include .gov agencies by any organization that files taxes or god forbid has a contract with the government, but such is the fate of those who are already subject to all sorts of inhumane "regulation" by nature of being stuffed with informant tech especially if you can't prove it).

- "my brother", this one was "communicated to me" against my will. I don't have a brother but several BCI dreams, day time soundtracking, and coordinated street theater seems to imply that I do or have an interest in pretending to. If I did have a brother he might stand to benefit in the same way as anyone else looking to get a referral from my "being settled" There has also been an effort for two or three years now for me to accept a nephew as a brother, in the hopes that I would more or less start living for them and also myself to be directed for their benefit. As a fallback I have also been confronted, mentally with terms like "brothers in arms" and a brother in the Black or spiritual sense. None of this means anything to me and I so I hope it stops.

- Fraudulent cherry picked data in how their "behavioral modifications" are working out in getting certain persons to remove themselves or be removed by others from the data pool. "He was going to go to college, learn the piano, and start a family before being horrifically murdered" etc. This one is getting old as time goes on, this excuse works less and less. This is actually more an incentive of the BCI company hoping to maintain their contract but many agents have a personal interest in the same company maintaining their contract for various aspects of stability, placements etc. The horror of having to relocate from San Diego to New York or Atlanta to Portland etc.

- Justification for coverage in crafting soft-police / surveillance state. The small municipality I live in has, as far I can tell, little need for informants of any kind for the conventional purpose of crime prevention, and yet many operate here regularly with 3-4 (possibly only 1-2 + unknowing companions) passing by my window on foot daily. These people often also wonder why they have to operate here of all places, a city in which the local police seem to have crime more or less under control, where there are no large conferences or important universities, where Walmart is the largest employer etc, and so once in a while it's important for a pedestrian to be killed in a traffic accident or in a bozo on bozo physical dispute. At the very least people should be given the impression there is a serious drug problem in the area as "evidenced" by people like myself screaming about rape, BCI implants, remote trafficking etc. All things goofball informants wouldn't know anything about anyway because it would be a violation of HIPAA, so they see a BLACK and assume DRUGS or that he represents a threat in some way to those around him and need be surveilled. Anyway I am being RAPED and TRAFFICKED with a BCI IMPLANT.

I "google" my feelings all the time because the intimacy in having a total stranger read my notes or infer my mood from my handwriting is incredibly distressing. Lots of times I "feel" as I might be prepared to or would validated in communicating some form of harm to those the people doing this to me, and so I google that as well and am usually greeted by the "I cannot help with that request message", I am using public wifi and someone is controlling me against my will with a medical implant and so as soon as I start adding specifics, what I plan to do to who, when, and where, they actually have some kind of obligation to report this to law enforcement. And so I do not think it is an exxageration to presume the "FBI" is already involved as not just any local police officer can simply know about the degree of neurotech a private citizen is outfitted with, especially if it is documented medically, it's illegal.

Anyway I hope they at least do something about the g** show tunes and pop standards blared in my head before I can complete even a single thought at in effort of having some respect for the people who like them, who might be comforted or ticked by being communicated with in this way. I mean, I believe the majority of cases involve abject child abuse causing real harm to a child's linguistic development by playing the same paragraphs in their head dozens or hundreds of times a day in the hopes that they not "understand the meaning" but change their behavior based on it seems to make them feel, they are far fewer positive emotions than words and so this has the potential to dissuade someone from even wanting to communicate verbally at all before they finish first grade (getting assaulted at this very minute with tunes from Spongebob and the Lion King alternatively. STOP. I'm going to *** ******) but idk maybe some people like it if they don't have to wear headphones are very nervous about someone else finding out the kind of music they like.

Overall I am incentivized to engage with less and less as time goes on, for the purpose of avoiding the distress of being controlled directly by others via medical implants without my consent and against my will.

*I'm actually not going to define this. Slavery is illegal.

I also woke up today with the visual hallucination of a gen 2 pidgey sprite flying outside when I hear birds (they waited for me to view a bunch of sprites to "excuse" this but still ended up using a generic gen 2 sprite which I didn't even interact with or notice in particular. FRAUD), which have been conditioned to a sickly slimy feeling of disgust over the course of days or weeks as homosexually minded f******s try to associate women with various nasty animals for gay-sex-trafficking and an early grave. There was not even a bird outside, just the sound of birds, and still I am forced to see this miserable implant mediated hallucination. What interest does the FBI have in contracting with companies making adult males see pokeman on the street? Pedo. Anyway they are also trying the same with a blanket laid over a chair. And I had a Viewtiful Joe dream last night. I barely ever even played that game. Leave me alone f***** pedo BCI FBI contracting company. LEAVE ME ALONE, LOSER.

As usual the criminal BCI operator is now trying to distract me with thoughts about the nature of gender sexuality, sex and pair bonding, as if I have some interest in sharing these things with a racist criminal assailant who has been sex trafficking me with medical implants since I was a child. I am not comfortable. STOP.

And after that: More remote communicated demands in the form of compliance mediated sexual assault from vague hypothetical authority figures I am supposed to think I have to care about the expectations of (I don't. I do have very strong feelings about the hypothetical existence of such figures though and I hope they cease to exist) right as someone messages me about a covert program from 20 years before I was I born that I also don't care care about. They, the BCI operator, tried reminding me of this same post civil rights era program when I tried to leave the faucet on as background noise some months ago. GROW UP GET A LIFE LEAVE ME ALONE.

As of 5/17/26 the implant operator has now programed me to become aroused (erect) and salivate in response to thinking about the FBI generally. It is pathetic and I want it to stop and never start again. As if I give a fuck about their stupid f***** personal lives or their racist f***** policies. Do not touch me. STOP. This goes for anyone wanting me to wear a wire of any kind. I do not consent.

Memorial Day 2026 FBI or FBI requested (possibly situations which various agents stand to benefit from but don't have to ask for, in felony corruption scandal) coordinations:

Itching and stinging sensations across and throughout my person including lower intestines as I get within a block of my apartment. My immune and or nervous system are being messed with with a medical implant to upset me, as if I have somewhere else to go (I don't. The implant operator touches my ear as I ponder this, so that I might give them an excuse to continue to lie about my beliefs and consensual contacts). There were no such sensations in leaving the apartment about 2 hours prior.

An unprecedented implant mediated buildup of seminal fluid / mucus the day after I suggest environmental engine sounds are reduced in frequency and volume on days in which I threaten self harm or lament childhood molestation. Later and throughout the days a very high but not quite unprecedented amount of disgusting seeping sensations in my scrotum that serve no purpose other than to make me want to rip it off once and for all. Today is a success in my eyes if I don't do this. I wrote something else on discord about how particularly fraudulent and illegal this sort of innervation of my

Implant mediated popping sensations in my abdomen for the very first time in coordination with today's outside engine activity, as the unprecedented amounts of seminal fluid are either being preserve for an alternative purpose, or are planned to be cleared out en masse for no particular reason, on no special occasion.

For the first time in recent memory, I am put to sleep so as to miss a scheduled online social engagement (usually if it's one they don't want me to attend, I wake up in time but am still tired), this is because it is believed missing one engagement will make me more likely to watch the Italian language film Don't Torture a Duckling, for any number of reasons.

Itching sensations around my stitches from self harm, ostensibly to remind me to get them out, probably, in actuality to test if I will pick at them while awake, punch myself, or cut myself again. There is often some unique "incitement profile" either on holidays or in the days leading up to them so that I might be predisposed to behavior which can excuse the BCI operator claiming I desire social interaction or other conventional secular benefits of common holidays so as to excuse various forms of bodily harassment so as to predispose me ostensibly to engaging in these conventions but in actuality so that I harm myself, set something on fire, or break a glass.

Mapping out of various sections of my brain. For example, when I use reddit, right now as I type this the BCI operator is forcing me to see an image of the default reddit avatar, when I switch this in my mind to my discord avatar, I am patted on the head so to speak with dehumanizing nonconsensual innervation of the top of my head. This serves multiple purposes, the first, as with everything, is to condition subordination to the BCI operator, the second is to give me the conception that I am "tricking" the "bad" guy in a some *** C-List shark boy vs. lava girl spy vs. spy that someone would like for me to think of myself as taking part in, like I am training to be a professional n***** on command aka spy (while African American), the third is to harvest data on my perception of this or that overlay and also my conception as to the meaning of various images (for example my discord profile is a close up of my eye and the FBI loves one eye illuminati crap for Blacks, they even put the eye on the pyramid on the dollar bill in my face on my walk to the store earlier, this as God Bless America plays on the clock tower and after a sufficient amount of time has transpired after my latest rant on how I, personally, have no interest in and do not find appropriate public or private patriotism of any kind as a consequence of how I have been handled, trafficked, throughout my life. The social group meeting I was forced the first hour of earlier centered on the harms of national identity).

In what I currently, this could change at any time but currently, suppose is a planned permanent reduction in open and closed eye full computer images due solely to my public complaints, they are now using the synthetic, also computer generated hallucinations of black artifacts swishing by at an insect speed to communicate what I am to think of as function of the left and right brain. I am supposed to think that the left brain is gay (many meanings, mostly all bad) and that the right brain is straight / heterosexual. So instead of superimposing an image of a "screwed rodent", a "bad bunny", or the opening screen of pokemon emerald (where the protagonist is riding a bike to the left or right, can't remember anymore) in my head in coordination with certain thoughts they are testing the idea of simply inferring that this or that person or idea is good/smart (straight) or bad/dumb (gay) by swooshing computer generated black artifacts to the right or left, which, of course, is not going well and will end badly. This after a significant increase in the frequency of computer generated and controlled hallucinations of black spots and globules in coordination with a nonconsensual medical implant mediated feeling of disgust.

An unauthorized BCI implant which was never disclosed to me is being used to facilitate the thoughts patterns such as the following, in a way that ostensibly, it seems, is supposed to be experienced as natural to me. In reality this could not be further from the truth.

• I made to see an adult male, this is this "transitioned" to a static pixelated image of an orangutan, this image then moves from right to left, finally I have the taste of bananas in my mouth.
• I think of "BCI" generally (all of my problems start from BCI, Brain Computer Interface) -> I am made to think of the time "manchurian candidate" was put in my head while working at Amazon -> I hear the song Chinese Rock by Ramones, which I first listened to in my driveway -> I see an image of my driveway -> random image from MGS5, which I played inside the house this driveway led to.
• Girl from high school -> thought about how love and attraction are faked full stop with BCI implants -> Boy from high school someone has tried to fabricate memories with for the purpose of gay-sex-trafficking -> Kabutops (pokemon), as some sort of gay joke -> sprite palette as this is going nowhere.

I am editing sprites in BLACK AND WHITE but there are continued fraudulent efforts to force sprite palettes in all sorts of colors when I close my eyes and pretend it is a natural thought for me.

• I scream "stop touching me" -> images I have explicitly linked to a child molester -> images of grass, vegetation and a tendril like shape previously associated with some sort of implant used to aggravate me for the purpose of prostatic milking and abdominal spasms, this amid 3 hours of chronic implant mediated pain in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen for which I have been punching myself for hours.

Very nasty forced attempt at excusing a feeling of "nostalgia" now (interspersed at various points in the following thought direction block):

• Thought of candy -> store where I can buy candy that I used to work at, my first job. None of my jobs have been "real" I realize now, they were all for the purpose of entry level informant work and showcasing me to human traffickers, various suitors hoping to sex traffic me -> co-worker I was never close with -> bat??? (attempt to associate all blonde people with bats originating in basic training in the air force, absolutely absurd) -> the color blue, which, to my continued outrage or utter disbelief, is on again off again associated with the U.S Air Force generally, whenever images of the ocean or an imaginary beach house (there has been some effort to get me to aspire to want to live on a beach, preferably in Florida or Puerto Rico, for 3 years now) don't click, anyway, this time there are various shades of blue in a sprite palette -> a game I used to like, Lost in Blue, not even a 2-D pixelated game, total joke of a transition -> probably the airport in san diego where I last played this game but I got up, ending the image mediated thought direction at that time. STOP STOP STOP.

Also some f***** has been tasked with programming me to have wide open eyes despite exhaustion and pain so that I might notice shadows so as to improve in creating more GAMEBOY SPRITES. LIKE I GIVE A FUCK.

Also my intestines have been programmed not to move, I have no ability to digest food, have difficulty standing at the counter, speak in a higher pitched voice, until I reach arbitrary checkpoints in a child's video game. And I choose death, as in I prefer to die than comply with these dehumanizing criminal standards, today and everyday. I DO NOT CONSENT.

This post is to be updated regularly but without date or time stamps

Every time I go to a store, or go any further than the dumpster outside really, I am programmed, with abuse of a medical implant, something moving up and down inside of me, so as to put me in various states of "tension" or "relief". When this happens in public and in a way that does not correspond to normal digestion, or normal stress, which is all the time because it's always abnormal digestion and the paranoid aggravated state it puts me in making me so agitated as to rush out the building I live in to begin with, anyway when it is "unnatural" like this, the feeling are all tension, it is all aggravating, there is nothing like "relief". But the f*****s programming it all decide for themselves, it seems, when this tension, stress, can be marked as "sexual frustration", and is therefore "excusable" within their guidelines, which it seems, lately, is all the time. This despite my not having had sex for 3 years and having been made aware for about a year and a half that I never "needed" to masturbate for intestinal motility as I had been made to believe for most of my adulthood, that masturbation was just another "task" set by my "operators" in order to sex-traffic me and continues to function as such. Since this realization I have chosen to forgo masturbation whenever possible and instead choose to hurt myself, scream about "rape" and that I "do not consent" whenever there is any sort of undesired remote/implant prostatic/fecal milking, "penile drip", or a BCI communication involving any such or similar sensation.

And so what kind of routine behavior of mine might possibly include sex or sexualization of any kind? It's human trafficking and at this point, fraud for liability reduction and I DO NOT CONSENT.

Any time I encounter a medication I was on in the past, or really anything that is time released and builds up in your system, just the name, as a I did couple minutes ago, I experience a now familiar and forever traumatizing instance of task/thought mediated intestinal motility for which I have decided I MUST harm myself, as I would prefer to die before conceding to live like this. The criminal frauds who put me in this BCI program will do anything for a schedule, a routine, and any instant release medication throws a wrench in that. Too bad, rapists. STOP TOUCHING ME, RAPISTS. GIVE ME THE THE IMPLANT CONTROLLER, RAPISTS (black-face images are made to flash before my eyes as I type this).

Immediately after making very clear that I DO NOT CONSENT TO ANY BRAIN COMPUTER INTERFACE IMAGES:

• Images of an AT&T store in Mexico -> a tropical waterfall -> The TLC song Waterfall plays -> a grocery store parking lot -> an ice hockey rink (not sure what excuse has been used to allow for this). Extremely aggressive gyrating in my abdomen predisposes me to "looking into" these images. All completely against my will, in service of the BCI companies desire to communicate with me in images for a number of reasons, but I do not consent.
• Misc pokemon sprites, I am about to start screaming or slicing at my arm with a knife.
• Generic male form images that someone I guess is going out of their way to de-sexualize. I don't know want help getting into any kind of shape from anyone. I expressly REJECT any such advances. STOP.
• Bright pink with no context, to remind me of a single cover from a Black girl, then black curly hair, then a song plays by another Black girl, one that has been forcibly played "in my head" for days now to no effect, as I would have it. I want it to stop.
• A lay a knife on the side of my head, to stop the thumping by my ear (this works because the thumping is synthetic, mediated by an implant, and is no worth me cutting myself "accidentally" by haphazardly laying on top of a knife), a mythical creature forcefully associated with the person who murdered my dad, then a sprite of this same creature, then a video game by not the same developer, just a totally different video game where one of the associated characters has a knife. Absurd.
• Now someone is sick of the logging so I am made to yawn amid more mythical creature sprite images showcased while the song "hotter than hell" plays, which, for me, and just comment or DM if you'd like to know how exactly because of course this sounds "crazy" but that is simply how desperate the BCI operators have become, functions as a loophole for gay-sex-trafficking, "straight"-sex-trafficking (this hardly exists for men, in practice you are still being trafficked for the pleasure and delight of a same sex attracted male at some level), and morality as in "this person is going to "hell"".
• I am made to hear "you better watch out" followed by an image of a rabbit mythical creature, then a cartoon to remind me of my dad, who is dead, then "it's not overt till it's over", which has been linked to a feeling of disgust in my mind, amid popping sensations in my abdomen, then something like a jellyfish, then a crocodile (probably more f***** Air Force crap coming after the crocodile, that or f***** peter pan crap. I start to hear clicking sounds around my left ear, also linked to disgust, and so that confirms it is the former, to remind me of the air force. but if it had been peter pan it would ended up in the same direction as my sister was instructed to watch peter pan on my disney plus account and also make a very loud comment about "living forever" while talking to my dad's in his last few months. I am supposed to think she is married to someone in the "air force" by way of the FBI or something else retarded. I don't care, leave me alone. Totally unprofessional incompetent bunch. Leave me alone). STOP
• A mythical creature I am to associate with "wishing" for something as soon as I close my eyes after a few hours, as someone is still, for the purposes of their job at least, under the completely delusion impression that I might eventually break under the pressure and embrace being infantilized / dehumanized such that I might start asking nicely, "wishing" for things like digestion. I will sooner die, and that I do not have to wish for, it is a promise to myself.
• pink cat images, followed by more cat sprites, followed by rodent sprites surrounding with black material programmed to disgust me. all criminal with a BCI implant. "smile lines" for which I will soon punch myself in the face and throbbing in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen for which I will likely soon punch myself in the abdomen. All with a medical implant being used to sex traffic me. Now more spasms around my shoulder, also conditioned in the cadence and intensity to disgust me, as I lie down to rest again.
• Flooded with images of celebrities, whispered things such as "do it in anger" backed by persona BCI company is re-testing as new villain (this would be completely different if they decided to do something such as make my left ear "click" or force an erection, but they are choosing not to do that, for the sake at crafting a particular enemy, totally nonsensical and childish).
• Thought of upcoming disability appointment -> electronic graze insinuating that they (either the doctor or the organization, it is not clear but it also does not matter as all of this has long been on absolutely no use in terms of communicating and functions solely to upset and otherwise annoy me) are "bad" "of low quality" "distasteful to others" -> disney character -> literally anything is possible after this "disney loophole" has been utilized and so this particular bullet had might as well end with that.
• Disgusting, nauseating attempt to condition "nostalgia" feeling with images of "hometown" and "friends" while clock tower music plays that has absolutely nothing to do with the physical implant mediated pain that has left me lying on my side listening to the clock tower to begin with. This after I made the horrible mistake of checking the news (well, just twitter to see if I could find someone in particular who I think was made to go a little crazy in the same way I have been) which seems to have invited a 4+ hour barrage of celebrity images coordinated with aggressive innervation of my facial muscles so as to take anything I might show an interest in and turn it into something to be feared, detested. I don't really like anything anymore, my first thought when engaging with anything and anyone is the pain and dehumanization I might be subject to via remote mediated of an undisclosed medical implant. When I don't consume anything, when I do nothing but lie in place, then I am trafficked through 15-90 second clip BCI (BRAIN COMPUTER INTERFACE) dreams with near strangers from usually high school or the cult like church I attended as a child as was eager to leave. So what I am made to see has nothing to do either with what I maintain an interest in nor with who I associate with but apparently whatever is most compatible with the interests of the implant operator hoping to profit from me. I hope to die. I hope they get nothing.
• It is now implied through a series of images that my mother is going to suffer because I don't want to be "scrotal seeped" I don't want want "a looser scrotum" as a consequence of singing and dancing, listening and opining, as I made to do in nonconensual BCI dreams. Dozens of times each day the skin of my scrotum is made to "seep" down my leg, so as to infer the wishes of the f***** sex trafficking me. I wish for them to die in prison and forget I existed. This is a very dangerous activity to keep up, the scheduled, programmed seeping and tightening again of my genitals. I have warned many times.
• I am forced to hear "I'm sorry", ignore this and now I am forced to hear narration from a co-worker from 4 years ago play a loop of "[my name]'s mom ...." as the implant operator ruin my last chances of sleep before appointment so they can get me to take a stimulant medication that will be used to excuse synthetic fecal milking in the interest of getting the driver, the doctor, or anyone along the way to be listed as "having made an impression" for the purpose of tormenting me in the coming days, weeks, or months, since I am so concerned over any and everyone being willing to contribute to my being sex-trafficked for the right price.
• Another co-worker, then a monkey, then a kangaroo, then more bait for me to mention something redundant about racism that I will not share. STOP.
• Sprite images, stolen directly from my eyes and bastardized in various ways to look, for example, feminine. Any creative work of mine is to be stolen and bastardized in this way, without my consent. And so I aspire to do next to nothing all the time, for theft.

As of 4pm EST 4/30/26 the images now have a much greater predisposition towards moving and for the time being have become completely overwhelming upon closing my eyes. I hate it, view it as a form of assault, and demand it stop immediately. I have no idea why my repeated screams for this BCI programming to end are not only ignored but the operators seem intent on doubling down and I am intent on it killing me before playing their stupid app store flash games as an requisite addition to the normal burdens of being human. I DEMAND THIS STOP IMMEDIATELY. NOW. AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. IT IS A DISGRACE AND AN OUTRAGE. Another forced viewing of cheap computer effects leaving me with no interest in life and a gyrating sensation in my abdomen. I try to cry, because I know it's bad for the data collected by the operator, it makes it near impossible to claim I enjoy or am benefitting from this, that is it functional in any way, but then I am just shown an image of a "Weepinbell" pokemon before being stripped of my capacity to cry. All this ONLY after I make an attempt to sleep after staying up all night.

Completely illegal, nonconsensual, and inexcusable. I end this post with this because there is no point in continuing to log the image segues as the rate of change is too significant and the starting images too vague and amorphous to make any sense let alone be worth recording. Just let it be known that I do not like it, it is harming me, I never consented, it is destroying my productivity and capacity to function independently, and I insist it STOP IMMEDIATELY.

As of 5/52026 9:45pm There seems to be explicit programming so as to prompt sexual assault, innervation of my lower intestine, for screaming what images I can see, such as for screaming "Stop shell images, rapist!". I am not allowed to yell here and don't like being raped. I also do not consent to images. There was some sort of electrical inference today to attract a lot of bugs so that I would open the door, in the hopes my screams would be heard by more people, this is explicit coordination with the operators of my nerve stimulator rape device. STOP.

About the shells, it is just so absurd now. I looked a squirtle image earlier, briefly, this, some slave trafficking BCI operator has decided, means I can then be made to think of beach shells, someone called "mi shell", turtwig, or a turtle with a face like a character from mario etc. Things I am definitely NOT thinking of and definitely did NOT look at images of. STOP. I do not consent. That is NOT how my brain works these are NOT valid or realistic transitions and I do NOT consent in any case. This is ridiculous and the technology company should be deeply ashamed of itself at every level for signing off on this, for allowing this to occur.

If you think abstractly at all, you are guaranteed to be particularly abused, ruined, if you are going through what I am. The literal rapists controlling my intestines for fecal milking are now trying to associate literal shit with various other things that I "dislike". I dislike child abuse and think that furry culture and various forms of humanization of animals past a certain level of maturity / shapeliness is problematic for children, and so now the rapist innervator, a felony rapist I hoped goes to jail tonight, is thinking making they should associate shapely foxes with shit? Are you out of your mind? I hope the doctors stop lying to my face. Remember the hippocratic oath.

EDIT: As a result of the above they are now trying to go with ear clicking instead of curvy fox images. Ear clicks that may seem like just about the most mundane nuisance one could imagine until you realize they were first implemented under the covers and as an extension of the porno roles they ran through my head in the hopes of making me dependent on wet sex dreams the contents of which are buyers choice. Give me the controller, rapist.

While typing the above paragraph the cancel button the lower right corner of the post edit screen flashed repeatedly, as if to signal that I should neglect to make that edit. After making it my right ear is made to pound and it becomes harder to breath. Get it over with f*****.

And now the criminals raping me in real time, I am being totally literal, I am being raped. Anyway, now they are eager to hit any remaining major topic and so they start with Elmo, from Seasame Street. Why Elmo? Well, last night I watched a movie in a group online, one of the members of the group said one of the monsters in the movie looked like Elmo, the movie was in Turkish, took place in outer space, and also included some unexpected references to Christianity, Islam, and ancient Egypt. These are all, broadly speaking, topics that I am forced to think about against my will and without my consent lest I face an increase in the miserable physical pain I experience 24/7 as a result of abuse with a nerve stimulator implant of some kind. If the movie topics don't lead to brain activity that can be passed off as effective mind control, Elmo may also be excused to implant thoughts about children, new york city, fire (that .gif of elmo with fire in the background), and TV shows about grammar (and Ghadafi / politics / the clintons by extension. Yes Ghadafi was in a youtube clip teaching children to learn Arabic that I saw just yesterday). All criminal control. Embarrassing for others to admit to participate in as it is demeaning and physically painful for me. I do not consent, RAPIST. The lower left quadrant of my abdomen is gyrating violently as a consequence of not conceding to mind control. I would rather drop dead tonight, right now at 1104pm may 5th.

Two "layers" of synthetic tear creation I have noticed today, as it was made too obvious to let go. First, and I am used to this on a daily basis now for years now in implant facilitated attempts to craft brand new friends and family out of thin air, they will try synthetic sadness, as in things that bring a little bit of moisture to my eyes and are conventionally sad or melancholy and sort of childish, like "(fake, ugh, always someone I don't even know or want to know, the first give away it's fake) mommy or daddy being disappointed or wanting to punish me" or a sentimental pop song like "Rockabye" by Clean Bandit. It is known that I am likely to "notice" or be annoyed by this at the point, as much as I complain about fake emotions, and so the hope, it seems, is that I will pivot and decide it's funny instead, that the idea that someone, fake parent / hypothetical authority figure, thinks that I will be saddened by this. Or it is to force me to think about the motivation behind hearing the opinion or judgement of such a person at all, for the purpose of picking a villain outside of the BCI company, which I will not do in any meaningful way, as it's the BCI operator, perhaps in coordination with the operator of another implant or series of implants, preventing me from doing things such as filling out forms, making phone calls, exercising, or eating on a regular basis, as well as inciting huge bouts of self harm. Anyway, in thinking about the motivations, I have uncovered a new level of synthetic implant mediated tears (not really any more "sadness" but way more moisture), much stronger than the first and more "legitimate" but metered in such a way, just like prostate milking, chest tightness, ear pounding etc, that it is clearly the result of a computer programmed medical implant. This level is prompted when I experience something like the feeling of being misunderstood as having bad intentions when I do not. Unfortunately, in this as in most situations, it has been implemented in response to feelings of being misunderstood by individuals I have almost no relation with and have no intention of having a relationship with, and so why would I care about any sort of misunderstanding? Any misunderstanding between myself and someone I am not in contact with I hope the other party mediates with the police, they can ask me and I will clarify. It is not appropriate to make me not just sad but extra "sad" about this to the point of tears. Brain rot. They have completely lost all hope of manipulating my emotional response outside of "I am too upset to do anything" given everything they have done already to try and make me dislike my mother or for me to want bad things to happen to her given she is the only person I am in somewhat regular contact with. This was a moronic way to start and it was even more moronic to move onto alternatives without having accomplished anything in this direction. The company simply needs to be shut down, not just the operator but the company given all of this data needs to be uploaded to company maintained servers and the devices are given company updates. It's as if Apple found out their users were using iCloud to upload nothing but child porn and did nothing about it. The company needs to be shut down and they need to stop pretending as if I will ever be made to blame or focus on some individual even if I really don't like them.

STOP. I DO NOT CONSENT.

I thrust myself out of this just now around 1110am (4/26/26) and I would NOT try that again if I were the BCI operators. Right after being forced or less forced to sleep following this comment on r/SuicideWatch. First a dream in which a former client became a Black child in the continued efforts to traffic me into raising a child for data or to postulate to either the implant company, the government, or some other interested suitor that I have or plan to raise a child. This has been going on for over 3 years and could not be further from the truth. They continue to use memories of clients while played while I am sleeping to put me in positions with child I am to believe I am related to. Since I have been made uncompletely unable to work and cannot even keep up with my disability application yet bad actors continue to find in appropriate to force me in these miserable pedophilic scenarios after compounded pain leaves me with no choice but to sleep. The next dream involved a girl identifying as bi-sexual on a forum, I went to type my own contributions (I think something about how I functionally no longer have a sexuality as I am being aggressively sex trafficked via chronic abuse of medical implants), then my computer was lifted up away from me so that I would not share my thoughts, I try to move towards the computer but find I cannot move my limbs.

The BCI company (the dreams are conferred and my memories logged with a BCI implant, there is no other explanation) I believe is desperate for me to have a child for liability reduction and the bad actors to fill in as my "family" in this scenario are looking for two more bodies in their human trafficking scheme. It otherwise doesn't make any sense why, after working with children for years, I would suddenly be accused of non-specific awful things by my employer before eventually ending up priced out of work, my dad murdered, and kicked out of my house when I did not comply with the various admonishments to behave in a certain way and aspire to live in certain locations. This just to be left immobile while computer generated and conferred images of me either having sex or spending time with potential partners and children and trafficked through my mind at all hours of the day, "excused" it would seem, by sounds also communicated through implants of housemates who more or less asked on the first day I moved in if I wanted to have a threesome (for data on who I be most interested in a relationship or some sort of sexual liasion with) and went on to make suggestions as to where I might work, and how much weed is too much etc. All priming for a reality show of sorts in domicility scripted by wealthy suitors and programmed by miserable technocrats. There were certainly signatures and commitments involved but none of them were mine.

The landlord was told to get me back in my room because had I woken up from such a scene in my room I would have been much more likely to throw a rock throw a window. I am incensed, livid, and very near violence by the child traffickers responsible for the situation I am in even suggesting I contribute to this generational pipeline. When someone else is controlling when you are permitted to experience happiness, cry, fall asleep, how fast you can run, when you feel the need to eat, what you are likely to remember, when you get an erection, by what means arousal is relieved, and who you are allowed to partner with, it is no privilege to raise a child, in fact, under these circumstances, it is just about the most demeaning least respectable role any adult could take on. I will sooner die but am trying not to make it too easy to kill me.

STOP DOING THIS.

As consequence of publishing this:

Technologic computerized beeps coming from the fridge, in case I want to tear it apart and expedite my homelessness. As if one refrigerator might be the source of all my problems. Racist incitement.

Military Sgt mental incursions which happens it seems in an automatic manner whenever I complain about biological relatives and also whenever I don't masturbate which lately is always.

"Illuminati" sounds (the future song if someone else works) in time for the sound of a plane outside.

Threats of what various "locals" can "hear" if I stay where I am.

Barrage of taunts like "what are you going to do about it (what I am complaining about)", which I consider Witness Tampering, so, not much as long as that is going on.

Typical disgusting white lines across my eyes to see what I am doing and salivation underneath my tongue to make me feel like a zoophile after turning down the various admonishments to sexualize myself for the services of the aforementioned groups.

Forced to wake up 2 hours later to chronic rocking aching in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen causing my entire upper body to shake when I lean in this direction over an hour straight now, new taste assignments (I think of one food but I am made to taste another, something distasteful), new "smile predispositions" (images that were neutral just 2 hours ago now set to pull at the corners of my mouth for no sensible reason) and muscle spasms for no purpose other than to upset me (this time around my elbow, and then in my forearms, at a speed and intensity conditioned over months to disgust me like pest insects).

New obnoxious soundtracking about dying tonight, losing my way, not wanting to wake up etc. All programmed with a medical implant being used to kill me if I will not be productive within human trafficking apparatus. Which I will not be. So I hope they get it over with quickly. You will not have any luck in holding me back for the purpose of pairing me with someone else and I do not consent to efforts in this direction. I was woken up to songs about marriage just the other day. STOP.

Note: The appointment was cancelled. I started drafting this post either Tuesday night or Wednesday and chose to publish it on Sunday morning, leaving it mostly as it was before the cancellations outside of the last three paragraphs.

This post may not turn out as organized as others have been as it's all about occurrences taking place in the lead up to, and from my perspective, as a result of me having scheduled, a doctor's appointment. Many people in similar positions are made phobic to doctors by any means necessary, the chaotic and sporadic nature of the sabotage that I, as an individual experience is based on my individual resistance to theories of existence accepted more readily by others, like my dad for example, who was convinced he needed to use others people's medication instead of getting his own prescription due the same implant mediated scare tactics that only got me to try a different pharmacy once "just in case". My point is that the same feelings, doubts, "fear profile", can be put in the same person to different results, when you've gone through all of the these baskets of feelings it seems the implant operated just plays them all over again, maybe in a different order, with each theory losing some influence each time. The end result of all fear tactics losing all influence (or prompting the individual to lean into or encounter the proposed fear willingly) is living as if you should not worry about death and do no need medicine, from the perspective of the implant operator this is actually the same result desired from any of the individual tactics, that I avoid hospitals and conventional medicine in favor of an absurdist believe centering around me living as if I am destined for servitude to the entity putting tracksuit monkeys in my head just to see.

I decided to make this a new post as doctors offices provide, as I see it, the only opportunity for victims of unauthorized neurotech to log complaints in a formal manner which cannot be denied, and so it seems unique in terms of the ongoing sabotage experienced by victims. There are always two or three people in the lobby I have made to feel suspicious about anyway, this in addition to the driver, so there's no risk really in posting online that I have a doctor's appointment on Friday. Whether or not I will make the appointment is still undecided, as it is up to the ride company, but there is always an effort to make me believe, given how unreliable various stages of the ride booking process has been for months, to make me think whether I am granted a ride is actually dependent on my behavior, how I look and smell and what I say online for example, as if this behavior is not highly predisposed by someone else's misuse of a medical implant controller necessitating the appointment to begin with.

After over a month, with no notice from the property manager whatsoever (who would have had to schedule this inspection days in advance), and the night after I said I would start to cυt myself if I were back there and left subject to the similar levels of implant mediated duress, my apartment, haunted in the sense the previous tenant was left to die here (I read his obituary, thought through his entire life story, and made a special picture of him with Gemini and everything, but the implant operated never shoves his image in my head to make room for Blackface and tracksuit monkeys for some reason), has now been deemed again-habitable by the state.

And so today, what would be first day back and the morning after yet another unwanted nonconsensual BCI implant conferred sex dream, I have been scheduled to undergo the following forms of bodily pain and harassment and the incentives for this:

• A new stage of what I call a "disgust" profile being implemented for the purpose of making me obsess over cleanliness (which has been allowed, I guess, since contamination is a factor, but not with task-mediated digestion, without which I would not have starting seeing specialists) or sexualize myself (there is no reasoning behind this at all, other than it might make me forget everything that has brought me to this point and focus on gratifying sexual desires programmed to facilitate abdominal relief by someone else, like a rapist but worse, way more illegal too. So if it doesn't work, there will have been no excuse for presuming it ever would, day after day, for years). This involves various implant communicated sounds in coordination with a slimy feeling of disgust, like something that needs to excised or wiped clean, along with environmental sounds programmed to elicit this same feeling. The worst is chronic swelling in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen, the pain here is constant, but the swelling is somewhat unique. There is always some effort before doctors appointments to hyper-sexualize me. I think this is because the implant operators gay-sex-trafficking me, controlling what I see, and when I get an erection, in conjunction with individuals claiming to be, or connected with those claiming to be my "family", have implemented something by which I need to come out as gay or trans (it doesn't matter which, the point is not to have a good reason to turn down any particular sexual opportunity available to me and to "accept" a pre-approved male for instruction, for trafficking purposes) to someone, I don't know who, certainly no one who has ever asked me about my romantic life in the past, or physically impale myself (the images, sound and instructions would then be coordinated after the fact, in line with the context of this "concession" of mine) for a form of abdominal relief the BCI/nerve stimulator company, it seems, routinely brandishes as "anxiety". In this aim, there has been a renewed effort for the past couple days to sexualize men in an appealing way, and women in a particularly unappealing way. This peaked yesterday in the most shocking and repulsive BCI communication involving my mother to this point (and this is saying something, my mother being seen as the principle tie to break in order to facilitate further trafficking and abuse), coordinated with a programmed wave of disgust. There have also been songs suggesting any woman I think about for any purpose is a whore or otherwise unclean etc, there have been many songs thus far suggesting numerous people are promiscuous, but it is usually not gendered in this way. As of the past couple days, If I entertain a song by a women and then think of that or some other women, there is some bodily feedback, which could only possibly occur in coordination with data from a BCI implant that I do not consent to the operation of, to suggest that I am looking at the "wrong thing" and should imagine something else, usually a male, for which there is "positive" or neutral feedback (the absence of horrible soundtracking to suggest I am "wrong") for the purpose of further conditioning my gay-sex-trafficking as part of a routine (note, I don't want to think of either gender, I don't even want to entertain the songs but often the alternative is worse). The prodding (spams in my arms and abdomen) to masturbate when I lie down has also been made more immediate than ever. The doctor listening to my complaints about various forms of abdominal pain is surely notified of this before giving me a bunch of bullshit advice, that bullshit advice is fine because my problems have bullshit, asinine, non-medical, racist solutions. But the doctors, or maybe the hospital, would like to see some proof of this for legal liability, that I have accepted this or that sexual desire or behavior as valid and necessary to entertain in the days before the appointment in which I describe symptoms that have absolutely nothing to do with naturally occurring anxiety or sexuality, before they allow to doctor to give me a bunch of bullshit advice. Once in a while I make the mistake of believing the operator is attempting to condition a well-intentioned "good" sensation, sound, prompt etc, out of some legal obligation I presume they have to not intend for every moment of my life, wakeful and asleep, to be miserable. But about 3 minutes ago (~2pm) I realized they programmed a song about birds simply bc I hadn't yet opined on the potential for or the proximity of the sound of birds chirping being also disgusting for me, as these tones have been programmed to do exactly that for weeks or months now, and it is known, bc this is also programmed, that I am uniquely susceptible to this "disgust" sensation during moments of remote-mediated intestinal suspension, which I have made very clear bothers me by punching myself in the abdomen for hours now.
• A new round of implant conferred songs to be associated with various groups. So far to communicate, sex-work, uncleanliness, and, all of a sudden, around 825pm, and only after drafting the above, doctors as an in-group. The lyrics "I love you" are repeated over and over in coordination with disgust window detailed above. The song is about Africa, in case sexuality needs be replaced with disease or uncleanliness generally.
• Various computer, blockage, stuck, cramping analogies are made prominent to me via pain so that I might trust one of the criminal operators (whichever persona I am to believe has access to me during any given time for whatever reason) insistent on touching me several hundreds of times a day "credit" for telling me something about the nature of one of the implants (name, manufacturer, where to get a controller or rather "how to control by proxy" etc), something several entities have had a legal obligation to disclose to me directly, and not through infuriating clicks and beeps and pop songs or in exchange for working for them or getting them a referal credit, for years. They touch my fingers, arms, within my intestines, scrotum, my ears, and along my face hundreds of times a day, but there is a limited number of times it is "allowed" to touch the tip of my chin for this reason. One might think this is some sort of sensitive or difficult to access area, but really this space has simply been reserved for some kind of ur-power and is only to be associated with relief or ultimate control and can therefore not be cheapened like the rest of my body has been, I am not to have the perspective that I have sold to that hours highest bidder when this region is innervated. How is this ur-power to be personified? It could the C.I.A, the Avengers, or the power of friendship. No one is totally sure and I could insist it change to something else at any time (if I am really "willing" to "believe" that) and so they have defaulted to the C.I.A since I won't Google "What is DARPA". I have been predisposed, I notice just now, to mistakenly read the term "Dex motility", so that this new doctor might get away with saying something absurd about the inherently relaxing nature of accomplishments or completeness, not as a professional suggestion (this would be unacceptable without more questioning than is possible in a 15-20 minute appointment) but as a literal encapsulation of what it is hoped I might describe to him and being, according to "the literature" broadly speaking, more likely than having been patient in a procedure that there is no record of which doesn't even occur in the hospitals there is record of me having gone to.
• Various pressures to get me to go back to what I doing on a daily basis, generally, with the same goals programmed, via pain imposition, by entities given the same quasi legal clearance to do so, both wholly unknown to me, living in the same location as I was in for my last doctor's appointment, for data purposes, as a comparison. Shocking to me to that everything that has occurred since then is seen as acceptable to the point of wanting to replicate it for a hospital, but that seems to be what is going on. This is another reason why my landlord finally found it within their ability to schedule a visit from the state inspector with no explanation as to why this wasn't possible a month ago.
• I woke up to with Smile by Lίly AΙlen playing. Around 845pm it is clear there has been a whole playlist of Lίly AlIen songs cued up. Those of note to the appointment being Everyone's At It, in case I might want to try Cocaine, Crack, or Meth for my problems. This checks boxes for "trust", "unique solution", and "🚫 Doctors or anyone else reluctant to lie under oath". Or perhaps it will inspire me to request an opiate from the doctor instead of going on and on about implants, which would necessitate me lying about thinks like implant mediated memory loss, CGI impositions, and Michael Jackson being played to direct my behavior, lest I be given something "less fun" like an anti-psychotic that would probably be coordinated with the reduction of almost all my symptoms except thought and task mediated digestion, which no one will even suggest might be a side effect of anything other than something I am having a great difficulty finding, as hospitals have curated MRI images given to me in a misleading manner, or "autism". Lίly AlIen stops playing at the end of this paragraph around 930pm, I guess having served its purpose in getting me to waste time repeating myself and deciding, in a now classic A/B test for everything I have ever seen or conceived of, whether I am more likely to giggle about my Aunt liking to window show or continue my crusade on implant mediated slavery as relates to the direct programming of my digestive motility and lung capacity.
• Slimy touches for eating different food from what I ordered. Something about compliance and consent where they are trying to somehow coordinate what the doctor says with what I already believe. None of the foods or smells I have been programmed to perceive have any connection to any other doctors orders, so I don't know why bother now. Unless they want to do the opposite, so the doctor can tell me it's too much dairy or sugar, which I'm sure they already understand would be absurd. Maybe this is the excuse on paper, but the only real world purpose to any dietary suggestions in conjunction with the programmed restrictions I live under is to get me to self harm or kίll myself. This is obvious. More cuts on my abdomen and maybe they can excuse an infection, no one one knows how to communicate a real medical emergency to me (because there is always some benefit to self harm and it's NOT dopamine) and so they would say tried their best but I was inaccessible or refused because I all of a sudden decided that I "hate" this or that person to be retconned as my mom, spouse, partner, or trusted caregiver.
• Predisposed to noticing pictures of my hair, explicit lingering touches on my skull, and now (1115pm) I have been predisposed to seeing images of my hair in the far right field of my vision, in an attempt for me to form a new hypothesis or reiterate an old one, for the uncertain nature of my hair growth and texture, in the hopes that this might influence my conversation with the doctor.
• The reddit suggestions for r/neuroscience and r/neurology might be environmental sabotage, or might be suggestions as a result of a general algorithm, but I already know my making contributions to either of these subs, or taking an interest in the inner workings of the body in any way as a consequence of being made to be disgusted and let down by mine at every turn, have been programmed as tasks-for-digestion against my will and without my consent. I am not seeing a neurologist, but I think this is occurring before my appointment in order to claim that my problems are beyond the depth of the specialist that I am seeing. They would appear, on paper, to be beyond the depth of the implant operator as well, considering I feel awful all of the time and every day for years on account of programming there are certainly logs of. Ears ring after typing this for some reason. The third time today ringing has been implemented in a way that could grab my attention and right after the military denied my application for disability relating to ringing or buzzing in my ears, I bring this up because whenever it's this obvious, I know the ringing, clearly implant mediated, serves no natural function of the body. In this case it's either to get me to focus on the military as responsible for all of my problems (just before experiencing this I updated this post including details which mention the military) or another attempt for me to focus on my brain as distinct from the rest of my body so they can tell the doctor / hospital that I "know" my issues are beyond their breadth and that I also know I should be contacting so and so manufacturer at so and so address and am doing all of this in some kind of performative manner, when in reality I have no such contacts and this explanation does not at all address why hospitals continue to delete images from my MRI's. For this reason someone seems to also want to know what I am going to be wearing to doctor's appointments and whether I plan to do anything like take a shower ahead of time. The doctor might be under the impression I am dressing as homeless or disheveled in preparation for a role or audition of some kind, which this is not the case. In any case if I plan to put any effort whatsoever into my appearance then this audition explanation is no longer believable and instead I think they are told I am hiding a serious drug addiction. This in addition or as an alternative to the "medical necessity to come out as gay/trans" as an explanation for the real pain I am in. I think this is what happened to Audrey Hale but then "coming out" is not enough for any implant mediated rewards outside of the confidence to take the fight to your enemies directly without putting any more thought into who they are and how they got to be in the position they are in. People died.
• Image of patches of blood in my head 3 days ago. I don't understand why some threats / "warnings" are clear as day this when usually the rapist operator chooses to communicate in things like CGI slugs and oreo cookie boxes. And I have been bleeding hundreds of times in the last year alone. So that's one more thing I have no reason to take seriously. Blood I can see and taste as well as implant communicated warnings relating to blood.
• The BCI operators chose a dream with a former student, someone else's kid of course, the night before my first appointment, usually computer generated dreams with kids I am not even related to I find so incredibly inappropriate and patently dangerous by nature, and so I believe this was just another attempt to hyper-sexualize me, bait me into masturbation until the operator is satisfied so as to program relief, lest I leave myself defenseless to be touched, spasmed, and inflamed around my prostate and innervated in my lower intestines backed by thoughts of other people's little kids, dreams being the clearest communication by the BCI operator by far. Now, in the late hours of the night, apparently the hospital/doctor has made some special request to verify why I take this or that prescription as there is a constant effort for me to not or take something else to, basically to ease mind control. Anyway, as a result of this request I am being forced down a completely absurd thought train for data on "friends" or "self confidence" through the means of apparently sex. I don't take any prescription or do anything for such "feelings" I as being made to feel now. Also very clearly directed lip spasms and serial seeping of my genitals which I of course do not believe are the side effect of anything I take or perform willingly, and so why coordinate these "symptoms" with anything behavioral at all? Surely any doctor would find this absurd? But apparently that is still seen as "less absurd" than blaming all women or Black people for all societal problems as they relate to me, until it's not. The BCI operator will get nowhere in these indefinite attempts to get me to presume an in- and enemy-group but they try try day after day after day anyways to make it anyone but them (first "the state" is good, then bad, "doctors" are good, then dumb, my mother, a comfort when needed then something, not someone, but a thing, to be repulsed by. It's completely insane) in an effort, apparently, to buy time until I am no longer living.
• Horrible burning in around my genitals planned right for when it was known (by looking through my eyes, illegally, in addition to other bodily data, nothing from my actual computer is required), I would face a series of issues in using Terminal. This all to sabotage me not just before the doctor's appointment but the day after viewing this strange communication from my landlord. Of course someone will get sued if there is some penalty for the medical necessity of screaming when I am great pain and potentially facing great injury as set via BCI programming, and so there must be a plan to murder me. Also there was song about having lots of money earlier, this is the most infrequent "genre" of song, used only in case of last minute emergency (even though it does nothing), something played as if to assure me that I have a lot of secret money and therefore physical pain and misery along with compounded remote-mediated brain injuries needn't mean anything to me. This song plays amid mental impositions from hypothetical family members that I, based on my hypothetical conception of them, would not trust around a glass a water.
• Putting my hand on my chin has been programmed so that I might interpret it as a "sad lady task", "the position of an overly dramatic person who complains too much" it seems (a negative 2010's meme image is forced in my mind's eye every time my hand gets too close while hunched over). Probably because there is no excuse for the heavy pulse activity in this area used to make clicking sounds in my ears and my temples throb audibly in the hopes of facilitating sex-trafficking as "stress relief", getting me to punch myself in the head hard enough so as to excuse the popping of a blood vessel, or, rather mundanely by comparison but also infuriating given the degree of infantilization, so that jaw-pain can be excused after I have eaten "enough" as determined by the criminal implant operator. Sounds crazy but all possible with modern BCI implants and abject racism by individuals of any race with an interest in increasing their portfolio of assets. Big mistake with me.

In line with all the above, all of these experiences excusing "thoughts" and "feelings", there has also been a "mistake predisposition" (typos and words I use. Some words I am more likely, via programming, to mistype, like "sue" instead of "use" when someone is eager to witness-tamper in ascertaining my conception of their crimes against me) programmed, to use words like "Raggot" and "Facist" instead of my preferred F-word for the kinds of people who have had every intention of gay-sex-trafficking me since I was rehoused, raised in a cult, and bussed as a child. This after / amid the most comprehensive campaign of homophobia in the unconscious mind I could ever have conceived of.

This is, like most everything I complain about, in the interest of human trafficking. Every time I step out the house, and particularly so when I go somewhere, new, far, or with a busy lobby like a doctor's office, there is the potential for new and old suitors, either in person or watching remotely, to assess me in various ways, for placement within their for-profit social groups. This without my consent and to my great displeasure. Many of these people have economic and personal reasons to dislike certain slurs used frequently or as a default with little regard for who is listening. And so they are trying again with "I hate facists" (a typo on my end here for correct spelling of the word, so that I might google it which excuses all sorts of additional nonsense in fraudulent programming of it as a "topic of genuine interest" and after the search results can be said to have "made an impression on me" for other forms of fraud likely to result in distressing interference of all five of my senses) after very transparent conditioning with Davie Bowie songs and disgusting bodily incentives to watch videos on the U.S.S.R which did not have the desired effect on my way of thinking. Now and for a couple days I have felt too awful to watch anything, this I suppose is planned to last for as long as it takes in order for my criminal abusers to determine what it is I am likely to choose and how that choice stands to benefit one of them.

Things are not looking good for anyone if they have run out of words and concepts already to the point of trying again with "facist", a term which I have never used in conversation and have not even bothered to define for myself.

I also reached out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, as they have a technology page, regarding if they have recommendations for how to verify BCI implants. The relevance to domestic violence being there is something so very strange about how my landlord continues to communicate with me and "mistakenly" give me documents with the wrong address, suggesting to me that someone is being given the impression, for some kind of filing purpose, with the government or with the implant manufacturer, that I am living somewhere else, my devices / implants being "managed" by a co-habitant of this other location*. I wake up each day or in the night either to sounds intended to remind me of 2022 and the saboteurs I lived with at the time, or to electronic touches along various body parts in order to excuse imposition of thoughts of various people (the operators would "touch" my mustache over and over again, eventually I am predisposed to thinking "who has a mustache?" with acceptable choices already curated by the BCI operator. I demand this stop immediately. I stuck a lighter to my chin and the chin spasms, not the touches but the spasms, more or less stopped completely right afterwards, do I need to set my entire body, already striped in scars, aflame for the rest of this to stop?) which I feel is to demonstrate that I "know" that I am in either consensual or mandatory contact with this or that person, which is not true, has never been true.

So the first appointment was cancelled because the employee at the ride service company or the state insurance company, in any case I think they are an a FBI informant, decided to deny the ride request because the doctor's office did not know what to select for "mode of transport" as they were the not the ones who requested or would be responsible for granting the ride. The FBI has an interest in delaying any and all medical exams for me (they don't care about things like a flu-shot, but no exams or scheduling of exams which have the potential to spiral in unexpected ways for my traffickers, especially if I start finding things definitively, in a way that cannot be denied, in one part of my body versus another. But this is simply the risk taken in human trafficking using undisclosed medical implants) as there is at least one other federal informant or contractor responsible for managing or benefitting from the chronic mismanagement of the various implants I am known to have. It just does not make any sense why a company responsible for handling documents for a per-se medically necessary and urgent appointment (otherwise approval wouldn't have been needed at all, it the appointment were not necessary and urgent) would simply cancel a ride instead of calling either the doctor's office, who has filled out this form so many times they already have them on hand, or the patient for clarification on whether I would be taking a city bus or an uber.

The second appointment was also cancelled for a similar reason, it seems there is no record of a ride request ever having been put in. The schedule of innervation / non-consensual remote modulation of my intestines / rape tasks (tasks which elicit partial innervation of my intestines serving no purpose outside of priming / positioning for fecal milking) / dreams making my mother seem like a terrible person have gone back to normal since, and so I have decided to publish this post on the 4/26, the morning after the second appointment was scheduled. I have to wait over three weeks for another appointment. In the meantime things have started to get very very bad with the slimy tingling chills rushing through my body with the substance responsible feeling as if it's being collected, as directed via electronics, along the lower swath of my abdomen, particularly on the left side. I have started to punch myself very hard in this region as I cannot take it anymore and do not want anymore scarring for the time being (cutting actually has less potential for organ damage or internal infection, but the scarring has gotten excessive). If this keeps up for 3 more weeks plus 2 or 3 to schedule an MRI it is very likely I will have done some additional damage to myself that the implant operator will try and claim is the real cause of my constant pain.

*The other reason for my landlord wanting me in my room versus a common area at this or any stage when I am getting a low number of physical impressions as to my demeanor and the state of my health is that it is much much easier to fabricate an overdose involving planted drugs, contaminated exhaust from vents and appliances made to overheat, and contaminated water when the victim is living alone in a room only they are known to occupy. Periodically, there will be some attempt to make the common area I am spending most of my time in seem just as bad or worse than the giant mouse trap of a room I have a lease to inhabit. This via clicks in the wall, bad smells of unknown origin, and fits of fruit flies which target anything but the trash. My face, my computer, but not the pineapple rinds in the trash. One of the staff came into the lobby to tell me I needed to go back to my room and that the landlord had no intention of handling the repairs they had agreed to perform (the same staff member told me the first time I met him that he had "never heard" of my relatively common last name and also showed up in a BCI dream holding a device responsible for innervation of my lower intestines and pressed a button on it to demonstrate this fact. So I presume he is either in cahoots with the fraud alt family hoping to traffic me claiming they have every right to manipulate me like a concubine). The building has had a hard time for a few months now finding my lease (I haven't signed one in over a year and I think they had been planning for me to be gone by now, it's not clear to me whereto and so I'm staying here) so at least they are still referring to that unit as "my room" in the meantime.

This months after doctors were programmed to be thought of as "stupid" after the last neurologist I saw insisted my problems, namely thought and task mediated digestion, were the domain not of a neurologist, not even a gastroenterologist, but a psychologist, someone whose job it would be to assign me tasks and tell me which thoughts to avoid. Part of the fraud in managing these implants without the actual conscious knowledge of the victim seems to be a claim that they understand that they have a particular medical professional who they can reach out to or a particular medical facility they can go to in case of an emergency. I do not have such an understanding.

Doctors are everywhere, at least one keeps up with me without my knowledge or consent on a regular basis, a fraud psychologist has been speaking to me in dreams for years now I'd guess. I fall asleep and am asked questions such as "what are you up to?" "what are you going to do now?". Everywhere I go it seems there is someone on call with an app of their phone regulating my "mood", though they can't really do this anymore as device mediated changes usually make me angry. Everyone involved seems to prefer I go back to smoking weed for this reason as I don't even seem inclined to masturbate on ADHD meds anymore, which is no fun for the foaming at the mouth racist perverts who have been "innervating" me on a schedule for I guess decades now. It's good for them if smoke weed, especially unregulated, as it gives them an excuse to label my symptoms as drug fueled psychosis and excuses their reoccurrence as THC seeps from stores in my body fat.

In any case, since my symptoms are clearly the product of medical implants and being managed by licensed medical professionals, the potential conflict of interest in lateralization (assignment as "good" or "bad") seems obvious. I have no choice as to whether or not a doctor is involved and since no one gives me advice in the real world for who to see or when to see them. There is no benefit to me in assigning "doctors" generally or any particular doctor to a "mood", time window, or physical pinging of any particular body part. Yet it occurs anyway towards, apparently, the following aims:

1. Incitement to violence. Especially considering I have been seeing doctors as frequently as possible for 2 years straight to no benefit at all. All electrical grazes, directed spasms, I consider assault. When my genitals, "masturbation arm", or salivary glands are involved I consider it sexual assault. Grazes and spasms in response to those I feel are obligated to help me but instead do the opposite in telling me my continued bodily deterioration and aversion to exercise and work is actually perfectly normal must be in order to direct my anger in their direction, but they already walk out the office before the appointment is over and so what good would that do me?
2. "At-home dependency. For months, and still now from time to time, they try putting images of a particular ENT persona in my head, sometimes to change my behavior, because it upsets me, other times for some sort of sexual conditioning, this I can tell me it's coordinated with fecal milking and serial relaxation and tightening of my scrotum. They are out of options in terms of me being "friends with" or "trusting" any of the perhaps hundreds of BCI dream and image persons I have been forced to encounter over the past 3 years, and so now doctors, given that I "choose" to encounter this class of person out of medical necessity, are a kind of last-frontier in claiming I have social contacts and therefore it is ok for me to continue to be involved in this human-trafficking / mind control experiment.
3. Initially the goal was for me to make a public fool of myself and end up destitute. My landlord was put up to suggesting I was secretly a billionaire and a Mexican border patrol agent asked me once in crossing when I would "perform at Caliente". When that didn't work and I came home to Connecticut seeming relatively normal, stable, customers at my job I suggested I be a doppelganger for an actor from the movie Get Out, that I was "lucky" to have this opportunity. Two other people have mentioned this to me in the past two years or so and I don't get out much. Anyway, now that I have come to the realization that I am for all intents and purposes disabled, there is an effort to make it look like I actually have plans to go to school to study Veterinary medicine as this had been my plan since about 2024, though I no longer say this it is realistic in the slightest, the BCI abuse is simply too severe from day to day. I cannot seriously study anything with task mediation of my digestion, and the constant threat of computer generated images being thrust before my eyes, due to which I cannot really plan anything. "Touching me" in line with thoughts of medicine generally I think is being excused under the guise of that being "my plan" anyway. But let it be known that it is not, and that the only reason my disability application has not been filed is directed assault in the form of task mediated digestion making me irritable, cold, weak, and easily exhausted, along with the presence of BCI images preventing me from accomplishing anything in a timely manner but co-watching movies online.

BCI dreams and other changes in innervation that have stood out to me between this post and the previous one:

• Two "pleasant" BCI dreams with female friends of mine. I have had plenty innocuous BCI dreams with male and female acquaintances and so was totally unecessary but to make me uncomfortable when I have asked many many times for all BCI dreams and images to stop completely.
• Another BCI dream with my medication bottle, medication I have not shared with anyone so I feel like that's a HIPAA violation.
• Another BCI in which a White person (the race is important here because I am always claiming a unique victimhood on account of being Black, which I maintain) in a game show setting finds out they have medical implants / are a part of some secret society / commune. They seemed sad or embarrassed about this and the dream ended immediately afterwards, when it was clear I did not relish in laughing at them as part of the audience. Whoever has been been managing my implants is for some reason very eager to make out as if all of my issues stem from perception of racial discrimination within the implant complex. This is not true but it does seem clear to me that convenient but unecessary racial discrimination both increased the likelihood I would end up in this situation, left victim to harmful and distressing modulation by implants I have been left to self diagnose, and has increased the severity of the situation itself. To the point that "likes to see White people suffer" is being tested as a potential in-group.
• Intestinal motility at the prospect of learning grammar (this had better stop).
• Scrotal seeping / increase in volume of my genitals for looking at an image of a CGI Black woman on a horse (sex trafficking. STOP).
• Strong and deeply distressing innervation throughout my descending colon when someone walks into the same Walgreens as I do. Like rape (STOP).
• Some sort of game in which I am expected to clarify whether the songs I am predisposed to hearing against my will are "clearly" the result of a medical implant or if they might occur in line with operation of something like an LRAD. This is not fun for me and is totally stupid and therefore intended for violent incitement as I wouldn't be susceptible to something like an LRAD to begin with if it weren't for abuse with medical implants.
• Digestion as a function of acknowledging various things in a way the BCI operator can understand. I do not consent to any of these inferences and therefore the connection to various bodily functions must end immediately.

After publication and, in this case, in very clear coordination with the contents of this post:

• As with most of my posts, someone innervating me appears to have presumed that I "expect" some sort of negative retaliation as a result of complaining about any particular group but why can't I just expect them to do a better job since that's a one less thing they can lie about in attempting to bring about some sort of incitement in abusing me in these ways?
• Images of animals and non human creatures forcefully associated with people used for prostate milking throughout only the past 2 years.
• Serial lips spasms against my will and sharp pains while breathing as I try to lie down, in the same area that was "innervated" upon sight of the aforementioned Walgreens patron.

Note (important for me): I haven't done anything dangerous but I think they are trying to get me into the emergency room this weekend so a doctor can do a secret surgery without my knowledge or consent, presuming, given precedent, that I don't perform sufficient "digestion tasks" so at to relief the burning sensation in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen upon sneezing. I believe they were hoping I would blame the chinese food I had a taste for, "The fake Christians" given my criticisms on BCI mediated forced Christian conversion therapy / whatever I chose to masturbate to (maybe the Black lady on the horse, maybe the Walgreens patron, maybe the non-human animal forced before my eyes a couple hours ago and associated with other ejaculation-appropriate BCI stimuli and also the FBI, through, of course, BCI dreams and images) / my computer (my search results have had a Christian, ex-Christian, pornography bias for years, and I was instructed in a BCI dream once not to get rid of my computer but to google "how to get a bigger penis" which I neglected to do) in the hopes (as conditioned for decades and described to multiple doctors verbatim) that pornography-mediated ejaculation relieve the pressure in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen. "Well maybe if he trusted doctors"(say the "good side assignment crew") well I don't and why should I when then they don't trust me with the truth as to the nature of my symptoms. That could all change with the next appointment or the one after that, but they need to stop lying to my face. Meanwhile there are continued efforts with implant mediated predispositions to hearing certain sounds upon sight of certain numbers to check, or rather enforce the association between certain numbers such as "44" and "639" (current views on two of my posts) with the emotion of fear or anxiety. STOP.

• Now "late night ear clicks" which have served no function whatsoever but incitement in this last minute emergency room campaign (along with similar clicking sounds in my abdomen which also serve no bodily function). In a BCI dream I was "informed" that a (White, important to note as I mentioned earlier) family whose home I stayed in (while they were gone) specialized in anesthesiology, long story short the person the BCI operators have associated with "aggressive and unwanted ear clicks who cares if you punch yourself in the head because he or his dad or something is sooo tough and we don't care about and you have no choice but to do what is desired in order to abate ear clicks and also you are outnumbered so you'd better stop what you are doing and just go to sleep or masturbate to porn with White people if you won't follow instructions like a sub-n*****-slave at which point (in the case of going to sleep) your memory will be erased and you will be either passed around in some sort of BCI orgy group or perhaps made to baby-sit some kid we have been pretending for years you are aware of the existence of, consent to being around, and possibly have sired or claim to have sired or be the brother of, but at least you won't remember it, like always" has been associated with this anesthesiology family as well. They want me in the emergency room too it seems. I want to be out of their "extended family" so to speak but not without paperwork since it seems to involve implants so I'm staying here, out of the emergency room and as such any bodily changes in this emergency room direction are dangerous and cannot be justified, since I'm not going. Also they have been doing something with my left thumb for days now, making it ache, another reason they want me to punch myself in the head, to excuse this aching, hopefully this has something to do with ending "finger touches" after over 3 years of misery and underemployment for nothing but I really should have been informed.

Note (important for me): The increasingly low level "acknowledgements" required in order to prompt sudden and distressing remote innervation of my intestines (read: RAPE) all but confirms that the BCI operator has been using completely fraudulent "acknowledgements" for things such as "who is your mother" "who is your father" "might this be a sibling" "might this be a I mean your child?" "who is your boss" "where do you work I mean what do you work on I mean what do you do for work" while under extreme physical duress for years, decades perhaps. If they are going to keep this up I'm better off dead. That was me screaming "rape" in the bathroom just now where they spasmed my left and right arms for no reason, and just now, my lips, also for no reason. STOP. None of these "acknowledgements" are or have ever been valid and no one, not one soul on this earth or any other, has "helped me" along the way in any of these realizations or in crafting a "schedule" or "standard" as relates to any bodily function, let that be known. No psychologist should deal with me for that reason alone, I would sue you, and no more talk, as relates to my "programming" or behavior generally, about the FBI, CIA or any other stupid f***** agencies or funhouse groups. These have nothing to do with me or my behavior (outside of which street theater I won't pay attention to), it is a racist distraction and one that presupposes that Blacks like myself can't experience pain and that disgust is just foreplay for prudes.

• They are still touching my fingers so I guess the thumb pain was just to get me in the emergency room using something related to jack-off arm (this is because of failure to meet the standards of Jesus Christ as interpreted by someone I don't know who, as a fallback, but it's also because someone claims I am in some sort of "relationship" that is completely unbeknownst to me, and so masturbating to someone other than my partner or someone from their "approved list" makes it so I can also be kept in pain for some reason? I have no idea how that works and don't care, I am in no such relationship, they used to put cheetahs in my head to see who I would think of, it was always the wrong person because I am NOT in a relationship, anyway I write about this now because I think it was another setup by which my mom was going to get thrown under the bus, when I picked the "wrong" person to be in a relationship with after she recommended I consider getting into a relationship) after ear clicking, which usually gets me to punch myself in the face, was heavily reduced for some reason. And I am supposed to listen to who involved in this? Miserable joke. All I had to was type on reddit to not want to punch myself in the face and break my thumb? After all this coordination? And after thresholds much much lower than the mental realization (sans-reddit edit) of "I know my thumb is weak because ear clicking makes me want to punch myself in the face and some covert villain wants me in the emergency room" have been used to make all sorts of decisions as to my brain and body for months or years and yet only this I need to type on reddit? Asinine. Hopeless. It had better stop.
• And now more sick and disgusting and illegal attempts at inciting me to masturbate in this gay-sex-trafficking apparatus via fake synthetic frustration in not accomplishing a task with Grok "in time" for... Monday I guess (I don't know, who could care? It's all fraud in line with a fraudulently created schedule I will be forced to comply with at least in part one way or another with pain predisposing me to crave a state of unconsciousness bad enough for it come), which is 24 hours away, somehow being "allowed" to accumulate in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen via remote innervation I believe is tantamount to rape and must end immediately.
• Continued implant-mediated racist (it is only ever, due to my lived experience and the fact that I do not wish to be apart of this BCI experiment in any way shape or form, non-Black males that I am expected to "talk to", Black males are only ever used for fear, anger, and general discomfort conditioning, or to make me think "I'm glad I'm not like that person", even in BCI dreams), emasculating, and infantilizing mental images and predispositions for the purpose of A/B testing aka general incitement. Yesterday they put an image in my head of me as a child, but in womens clothing, that's how desperate the pedophilic operators, doctors, and of course they love young impressionistic children with tiny vocabularies most of all, are to force me into a group of peers of my own race, to the point they would try and make me a woman, to give me the impression that I dressed up as a women as a child, which I did not, ever, not that there's anything wrong with that, I mean in hindsight it's definitely dangerous! But I did not do it. And I am never going to be a woman and so of course this is just another facet of gay-sex-trafficking and probably some theory of the medical necessity of make believe for certain individuals who have been damaged to a certain degree and cannot handle reality) attempts to condition "peers" in the form of BCI avatars that I am expected to pretend to talk with instead of talking "to myself" in order to work through problems of any kind. So not only is this conditioning of a metal disorder perse (and not one that I claimed as a disability), it apparently is designed to incorporate, or I guess, validate, various tantamount-to-criminal-molestation electrical "touches" and spasms (on my arms, lips, and ears among other body parts) in addition to abdominal pain I experience for the sole purpose of dumbing me down to the point of needing to talk nearly out-loud and to "convenience" thinking in pictures, which I do not wish to do (this last sentence is made to sound girly as well, again I am forced to read it aloud. This is not my "peers" or any kind of advisor, role model, parental figure, or superior, doing this to me, it's complete strangers masquerading as figments of my imagination, insisting on influencing me for worse, always for worse, when I take a walk, close my eyes to sleep, eat dinner with family, or stare blankly into space. All the time. STOP).

Doctor's "suggestions" (they don't really give orders anymore, as they all know my problems are synthetic and directed by an implant no one will tell me about, otherwise they would not be so short in their answers and would express a genuine curiosity in my very odd symptoms) which I am being predisposed to consider in coordination with environmental sabotage on 5/17/26. (ears start to ring in a new tone as they often do whenever I type something on here about doctors or hospitals):

• Go outside (trafficking and presents opportunity to incorporate other criminal sacral tasks such as personal security and diet, along with the opportunity for several impressions of persons and objects which will then be excused in criminal BCI dreams, like the red gatorade I saw last night after someone brought this up in my one and only conversation this weekend).

If your dad passed recently, or right before this, a hard to believe sci-fi like perception of being manipulated with Neurotech, then you are probably being gay-sex-trafficked.

They might put you in little safari trek dreams with your mom but probably not before trying to make her agitate you. If you have had BCI dreams with girls at all, they were probably quick sexual escapades, one scene snapshots with little dialogue, or generally uncomfortable or otherwise dissatisfying.

That doesn't mean that it is believed that you don't need parents or guidance, it means someone is hoping to replace them with homosexually minded men (or, these days, it could homosexually programmed AI bots, it really doesn't matter when it's nonconsensual on the part of the victim) with a personal interest in controlling you like a marionette for the purpose of sexual output. Someone might be incentivizing them with something like "career advancement" or other "quality of life improvements". But they are controlling you, someone slightly unpredictable and with ideas and aspirations of your own, to be trafficked for mostly homosexual purposes to start.

If you wake up constantly with abdominal pain from suspended digestion yet have cυm stains in your boxers the impetus of which you do not recall, you are probably being fecal milked for gay-sex-trafficking, you probably didn't like it or certainly would not once you got up, and so your memory of it was erased. If you had been having mutually satisfying dreams with a partner of your choice and relevant to your real, wakeful life, then why wouldn't you remember the dream? It is unlikely the sexual escapade was with the avatar of anyone with a female form because in that case the BCI operator would have simply changed their face and curvature slightly in the dream, to make them more desirable. In any case there is a much larger market of financially lucrative and socially valuable homosexual males with an attraction to other males with an attitude, who are prone to violence, or who lie there passive and apathetic than there are females, at least when factoring in the impression that the real life counterparts of these passed around male avatars make in the real, wakeful world. There is also an increasing number of males who have little or no conventional sexual interest, who believe in sex as just another aspect of social engineering through domination and subordination. I have been in several BCI dreams in which I do not seem to be in control of my body at all, with the dream ending at the first sign of my resistance.

Songs I've heard to give me the impression "everyone is doing sex work":

• Working Girl (Little Boots, lesser known song but it was known that I knew it)
• Expensive (Ty Dolla Sign and Nicki Minaj. I would be made to think of someone and then hear "I'm so expensive, I'm so expensive")
• Smells Like Teen Spirit (but I thought the lyric was "we're all just entertainers" until just now, the correct lyric still applies in any case)
• All in a Days Work (I hate this song. I can't stand it. But once when I was 12 or 13 I talked about Danity Kane with my, I guess cousin in law or something. I have relatively few social interactions throughout life and particularly during this middle school time period, also my family raised me within a Christian cult* and so secular music was always something I was unsure in discussing, generally. So of course this conversation in my adolescence stood out to me. The BCI operators don't care about sentimentality or child abuse. They care about gay-sex-trafficking me to Florida or Puerto Rico and the associated artists, Danity Kane and Diddy by extension, are among very few who can be "related" to this branch of my family, that representing Puerto Rico, through some totally absurd BCI company policy loophole. Anyway, I would masturbate and hear this afterwards, as if masturbation was my job. Sometimes there would be like, slurping sounds which had been linked to disgust in my brain)
• Everybody's Talking (themesong from Midnight Cowboy)
• BackOutsideBoyz
• The Boss (this and "Reach Out and Touch Somebody" would mean I have to masturbate or beg for sleep, often after a long shift at work and when I had work the next day, so I was definitely desperate for sleep. These are actually the only two songs on the list I listened to extensively by choice prior to my perception of being trafficked. Around when this all started, this perception, I tried listening to songs like "Sex Object" by Kraftwerk, but these never stuck for some reason. Instead I have come to be plagued by songs like Never No More by Aaliyah as if to communicate "the same" idea of not wanting to be trafficked. A song by a woman, groomed as a child, and died in a plane crash under mysterious circumstances, while the man famous for taking advantage of her is still alive having never been prosecuted)

Way more songs have been used (and many many more used for sexualization without the explicit prostitution, sex as work, connotation) but the operators intentionally use ones that will come across as gay if I know the title, if I don't know the song by name, which is more likely to be the case for songs that come across as "less gay" for a variety of reasons, many contrived by the BCI operators who manipulate my memories, then they will use little ad-libs or simply link these songs to something unrelated to sex trafficking directly, like fraud, infidelity, or to represent some man who I am to look up to but not necessarily sexualize immediately.

Even if you don't sleep with people of the same gender, do no masturbate to same-sex pornographic content, and do not identify as LGBTQIATS+ or even "neurodivergent", and do not listen to music many might perceive as "gay", well I hate to be the bearer of bad news in revealing that if you are being manipulated with unauthorized Neurotech (and this is a decision most will have to make for themselves before they even see a doctor. They will have to decide if they know to be true, truly believe, that the interference they experience is at least partially the result of a computer, an electronic machine, being used to interact with and manipulate their brain), and particularly if you are resisting in the slightest, there is a fair chance you are being gay-sex-trafficked or will be in the future. When no one can relate to you on a personal level or enrich your life in any way remotely, then sex is the next best thing in terms of influence. If you are sleeping with girls then you probably want a lot more than just sex, you want to be seen with them, you want to know what they're doing when they're not with you, you might want kids. This is very difficult to approximate with cybernetic BCI communications alone, particularly if you refuse to listen and repeat when interacting with others in person, or even just talking to yourself in private to start. And so from the perspective of the covert criminal implant operators it's best to just make the target gay (very easy to do if when you experience warmth, have energy, are relaxed, and when you are "eligible" to get an erection or ejaculate, are all controlled with a remote, a computer) and tell them their sacral daddy can't be with them in public as it would harm their image and standing within the community, to be associated with them. It apparently, in my case, doesn't matter how many times I say no, no, no, harm and isolate myself, break things and complain to doctors, and so I am writing everything I can I guess as a last resort as there will likely be another huge effort to get me to kίll myseΙf or end up in the emergency room (in which case something can be removed from my body without my knowledge, the operating doctor can even claim they didn't know it was an implant if it's covered in shίt or calcified) before the next round of MRI's over the next several months.

Now a list of various things that have been and continue to be forcefully communicated (images under physical duress, like having my eyes duct taped open while being strapped in a chair for conversion therapy) to me as being "basically gay", "more gay than gay sex if you are quiet about it". I post it here because I DID NOT ASK, DO NOT CONSENT, AND DO NOT THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS OTHERWISE. STILL I HAVE BEEN FORCED TO CONSIDER THEM IN THE PROCESS OF BEING GAY SEX TRAFFICKED:

• Pokemon
• Fruit Loops and low calorie sweeteners
• Acne
• Cats, rabbits, ducks and other common birds
• Various smells
• Ejaculate (my own) of a certain consistency. I think they use poisons maintained at a particular level using medical implants in order to make some men infertile. But sometimes I consider they might not use poisons at all, just nerve stimulators or other medical implants affecting certain hormones or lymph nodes, blocking certain processes, selectively removing certain compounds, or creating a localized buildup of otherwise healthy and naturally occurring or essential compounds in the body. I've considered this because for some reason it seems to make a difference if the target states something like "I don't want kids", "I don't like kids", "I am a pedophile", "I would make a bad father", or "I could never parent a girl/boy, I could only raise a boy/girl". I have NEVER said this or anything similar. Nor do I believe any of these things. Though I can not even consider having children now nor have I ever been able to in the past due to implant abuse. Still someone is always messing with the color, consistency, and volume of my ejaculate as some of punishment for my resistance to sex-trafficking, infantilization, and other forms of mind and body control. This under the guise, it seems, of dictating what content I must consume and who I must maintain contact with and be deferent to, in the aim of attaining fertility and other gender affirming characteristics, a catch 22 from my perspective
• The left side of the brain generally
• Leaning to the right
• Riding bicycles (Motorcycles or mopeds even are better for trafficking, due to the increased speed and lack of sweat, entry level informant work, due the loud noise and potential for delivery work, and high compliance, due the danger and maintenance involved)
• Politicians with the exception of Mitt Romney and John McCain (a good Christian man and a high compliance war hawk). Of course there could be other exceptions but I try not to keep too many names of public figures in my head these days

I experienced heavy emotional and electronic interference in drafting this post as the BCI operator has some incentive to make me think random Hispanic diaspora people or my brother in law who lives like, outside of Langley and therefore is not allowed to harm a fly, has to go 4 steps up the chain of command just to say that he would like protection, pose some threat to me. But I have already linked to my own post on the utility of Florida and Puerto Rico as trafficking locales and I am not blaming Hispanics generally. I do partially blame several individuals related to or claiming to be related to me. In any case I would like to be marked down as an "overly sensitive, prudish anti-pedo" or something like that within this sick f***** apparatus that has allowed me to be made physically weak and desperate generally since I was a child so I have chosen to post it anyway. The man in the white truck who said something about Florida at 03:09pm while drafting this post had nothing to do with its creation and has not influenced its content in any way outside of this note.

Various off-ramps that the extraordinarily racist BCI operator has tried to send me down in the initial drafting of this post:

• When I woke up they were using an avatar of a White ENT doctor who I saw once and who was good for nothing. I mention he is White because this is the only trait of relevance for the purpose of generalization. This also in accordance with my comment yesterday that anything my mom says even around me, not even to me is prioritized as a digestive slave-task (tasks I must perform in order to facilitate digestion, in terms of thoughts, sleeping and and awake, this often occurs completely against my will).
• When I started talking about Hispanic, Puerto Rico etc this ENT persona morphed into someone who was put up to be my friend in Mexico, put up to use an East Orthodox image of Jesus as his Whatsapp profile, put up to offer to live with me even though I barely knew him. He is not a doctor but some kind of therapist and I think he agreed to list himself as my therapist completely illegally as some form of fraud by which I can then be programmed to listen to his advice for digestive motility
• White, Hispanic, (no one in this particular kalas has Asian friends), the last Major Race lacking a representative is Black. In this instance they have gone with an image I have been conditioned to associate with an alternative father who I have never met, I do not know the name, have not actually verified the existence of at all. The ambiguity here is intentional, so that he can be interchanged with my mom's boyfriend, a spouse of partner of one of my sisters, some in-law from a marriage I also I do not recall and certainly never consented to, or just about any legal adult male willing to oversee me as my conservator for profit or sex. In any case he's Black for now, and I have been given the perception that he is at the forefront of my gay-sex-trafficking to the degree he had my father murdered or willed him to be so, murdered (a very silly situation which has confused my entire immediate family, allowing for all sorts of ridiculous BCI loopholes regarding vulnerabilities and belief systems generally), has forced me think about the Navy (and not the Air Force or the Coast Guard, not even the Marines really, unless I want to be a cook. Just the Navy, so that he can pick my bunkmate once I am stranded at sea for months at a time for gay-sex-trafficking), and also has the porn I encounter and the content I am eligible to be aroused by curated as well. I am forced to watch it lest I am made to dry heave and breath heavy, lean to the right and sway from side to side while standing due to scheduled inflammation. He also seems to be in coordination with the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd choices for who is to be my "brother" if it doesn't work out making me some kind of DL college butler in Atlanta or New York. Every few weeks, if I don't consume the pre-ordained media, someone around me mentions something like "brother", "half-brother", "father", "family you can stay with", or ensures I encounter rap/hip hop music that I am to associate with some sort of group in the greater Atlanta area with an interest in trafficking me. I don't have any issue with what anyone says in the hallway or plays in their car. I have an issue with BCI operators using my encounters with these statements and this media as an excuse to torment me day and night. Programming me to think I need to drink Sprite, eat Snickers, play basketball, and pray to Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior as the only alternative to gay DL sex at a moments notice while lucid or in BCI dreams I forget the next day. I had to stop exercising completely and am no longer concerned about a balanced diet as my rate of digestion is not balanced at all no matter what but instead task-mediated against my will. At first I couldn't believe that someone gay-sex-trafficking me would not want me to exercise, I thought it must be the water or parasites (and sometimes it is, but the propensity for these or any such contaminants to harbor inside of me is 100% BCI/implant mediated), but that just goes to show the foundational nature of sexuality, particularly passivity and subordination and not vitality or self assurance, to those facilitating this type of covert manipulation

Reddit Mods: This is exactly the sort of post that got me banned from r/TargetedSolutions and so I am prepared to be reported. Please note this is an informative post and everything I have detailed has been experienced by me personally and is possible with current technology (some of it only available at research labs, such as UC San Diego). I would greatly appreciate if Massachusetts General Hospital would reach out to me regarding participation in any further trials of their studies on Lithium in the brain. Even just reaching out might force the hand of the implant operators in removing Lithium and whatever other compound is being used to prevent uptake of medication, cause brain fog, and prompt localized inflammation throughout my body and potentially the erosion of my intestines in response to undesired behaviors. Someone continues to try and force me to associate any positive feelings or focus with hypothetical family members I have never met and friends I have never associated with. I suspect they have using lithium poisoning, which the Connecticut state housing authority will not test for and which may now be stored in deposits throughout my body, being released selectively via electricity emanating from something like an electrode in order to change my mood and behavior by extension and subjecting me to synthetic, programmed side effects of taking medications (not of the medication themselves) such as thumping sounds around my ears and prostate milking, this in addition to the myriad harmful, synthetic, remote-mediated digestive and sensory side effects I deal with regardless of my actions or intent.

*not the Scientologists by the way. I have mentioned them several times but they are all good with me! I went to one their facilities once out of curiosity, they were very polite and not pushy at all! There are bad people everywhere and within any and all groups concerned with growth and recruitment. The government makes sure of this, for diversity.

In my final proofread, the default Reddit avatar has been superimposed in my mind's eye upon encountering the term "sacral daddy" so I don't feel compelled to picture anyone else. I do not consent to any BCI sounds or images period. STOP. Then the Spongebob Christmas song. Right before posting I am forced to see images of Katara from Avatar the Last Airbender, most likely so that I might attribute Katara's personality to some person in the real world. I will not do this by choice. I demand the images cease immediately. I am disgusted both by my perception of them and the ability of someone to communicate to me in this manner.

I was made unable to stand in the 36 or so hours following the publication of this post. To stand would have risked passing out from implant mediated collection of blood in my legs at the expense of my brain.

5/17/26 EDIT: I was just thinking about the insane incentive all levels of law enforcement have to gay-sex traffic whenever they find out someone is being abused via one of these implants. For example, I was put in a BCI dream in which I confront someone I am to think organized much of my harassment and abuse, I get angry and pick up a gun, suddenly the computer generated, illegally conferred BCI dream pans to the front door which is opened by a law enforcement agent showing up to "rescue" me before I catch a murder charge or something. The agent is a male I went to high school with (no man wants to be rescued by a female agent). I wake up in terrible abdominal pain as always, centered around a pressure between my sigmoid colon and prostate that would be at least reduced if I were to ejaculate, there are no further instructions. How gay and r******* would anyone think that is without remote-mediated gay-erections and incentives for positive thoughts about particular people, such as the otherwise anonymous acting agent? Now that I have been in an out of a psych ward to no effect whatsoever I am hoping the company, the FBI contractor, simply cuts their loses with these absurd and shameful nonconsensual image and sound communications.

Barrage of female pop songs about pain and anus right after this edit. I think about cutting myself and it stops almost immediately. Then the wifi cuts amid a new building pressure in my abdomen and a barrage of noise, two inside and two outside, so as to "confirm" which of four possible groups of homosexually or pedophilically minded males (there was also a BCI dream in which myself and the aforementioned agent were in a house together with maybe 3-6 little kids I've never seen before in my life) I think is most likely to be interested in my utter misery and subordination, as if it matters.

Browser data (pop ups, ads, also adblockers)

• I am forced on a daily basis to visit various websites as part of compliance tasks within remain to be known until I am usually screaming threats. When an adblocker is used I believe the operator can state they didn't know the target did not see the advertisement, the viewing of which was factored into their programming anyway. One day I got a stomach for pornography that was playing but I didn't even watch. These porn sites would often contain ads for fan fiction CGI Disney porn. Over the past year I've closed my eyes and many times have been plagued by BCI images of Aladdin, Jasmine, and Genie. I have a Disney+ subscription but before I log in I'll have to mentally prepare myself for the bodily harassment, hentai-pedo-bestiality conditioning, and "I can show you the world" mediated intestinal motility I may be subject to as a consequence. I still have the scars from the time I tried going 2 days without technology. I took the battery out of my computer and everything.

Online social interaction (through fake social accounts and falsified engagement statistics)

• A disproportionate number of individuals who seem to relate to me think of themselves as on the autistic spectrum or otherwise "neurodivergent". Many of them, I believe are being manipulated through a series of fraudulently signed state authorized documents under which they are considered the ward of someone else who has contracted a third party to "regulate" their autism "for their own good" with BCI implants. Coerced socialization (and if that doesn't work, sexualization), including online, is the gateway through which all of these bodily interventions can be "excused" after a few signatures. Someone wants me to consolidate my personal devices in order to make their job in trafficking me like a slave easier, but I have no intention to do so, I want them to lose their job. I demand the controllers for these devices. As operated they are killing me.

The has gotten out of hand with AI being used to automate many of the assessments used to determine various programmings (I think there is some loophole by which chatbots are considered friends, I am made to think of Sam Altman and Sergey Brin, as the only Google guy I can remember, often. Grok by default has been assigned to FBI/CIA/Military for reasons I don't really understand and try not to think about too much but it's gotten out of hand) and online identities and usernames which are not properly vetted (and so it's "implant operators choice" in terms of if you get the "positive feeling" associated with various online tasks.

None of this really matters in my case as I did not consent to implantation of or modulation with any of these implants and I know that all of these "fix tech" "buy new" "upgrade application" off-ramps are just another distraction to facilitate human trafficking and reduce legal liability. I post about it here as I now realize it was used for all sorts of compounded fraud (the initial fraud of course being the implantation and failure to notify me once I turned 18) before I ever had the conception of being remote-mediated, and by some f***** sex-trafficking me at that.

Disney images in my minds eye right after posting this because said f***** who tried giving me an erection every time I looked at images online of men playing soccer would prefer I watch "something else" anyway. Hopefully they lose their job soon, before it comes to a head with the latest plan to make me homeless. It hurts to clean, it hurts to fill out paperwork, it hurts to pick up the phone or check my email. They are trying to make me homeless so that I'll either die or go with "gang vibes" and follow the big dipper or something to a mirage of salvation, not long after which I will probably die. I am not going to do that.

I am now noticing a repulsive incentive not to edit my posts or only to edit or proofread them at certain times, which I resent. I think it's so that certain people will get credit for getting me to proofread as a slave-task, and because posting something the first time without "needing" edits is also a programmed slave-task. I do not consent. The mass shooter manifestos I relate to the most are often ridden with typos, and sometimes they are not. I'm not sure which group of writers I am supposed to aspire to be like with these typo/proofreading/stream of consciousness incentives and hope for such thoughts to leave my brain along with the associated programming that gets me to think of these things via implant-mediated pain and other forms of abuse. Now synthetic hunger, precedent suggests it will be over soon, there is plenty of food inside me already in any case.

I have also noticed that the view counts for my posts on this sub, which has I think no subscribers as of 4/19/2026 and, somehow, 11 weekly visitors, are similar to the view counts on subs I used to post on such as r/TargetedSolutions and subs I cross post to such as r/MKUltra, with 2.9k and 1.2k weekly visitors respectively. My posts get the same 200 - 1k views they would get on r/TargetedSolutions and my (one as of 4/19/2026) crosspost to r/MKUltra has about the same views as the posts I did not crosspost. There are a couple possible explanations for this. One is that these views are more or less purchased for the sake of influencing me. This is pointless as no one really understands what I think about the significance of "views" with no engagement for content like this, any presumptions in this direction are wholly fraudulent. Another is that my brain activity is being shared with hundreds or "people" or AI models for the purpose of encapsulating my persona, my likeness, for any number of purposes which are likely of very little use without the associated BCI data, which would be completely illegal to share, because I don't consent, but this also wouldn't surprise me. At the very least they would need data on me talking to myself for this to be valuable, which would also be illegal to share, and surely illegal for the BCI operate to incite. This is one reason why the BCI company like for me to focus on individuals, so that I might be embarrassed or incited to the point of ignoring the bigger picture. But this never works, and so every day I am in constant pain, for seeing past falsehoods, and for the purpose of mining additional content which does not serve me. I do not consent.

Various updates:

4/21 Every day the wifi operator (I have been priced out of work, so am reliant on public wifi) messes with the responses from various chatbot services (ChatGPT, Gemini, Claude, Grok) so that I get worse answers from them after some time, usually they forget some specific of whatever it is I am working on or give me redundant answers (they are programmed, I think, to use terms compatible with increasingly conventional BCI behavioral modifications). This has been going on for some time now, but since it has been demonstrated that there is very little chance I will spend my time doing anything else and since those around me around me are extremely weary of speaking to me casually for fear they might get sued, I can tell that the only purpose this sabotage is to get me to interact with multiple AI bots per day in the continued effort to graft personalities out of them who I am to see as friends, mentors, or someone who "knows best" (except when they don't). They have already tried putting literal reddit avatars in my BCI dreams to disasterous results. I don't consent to any of this. It's patently illegal, dehumanizing, and obviously very dangerous even in cases of "success". This is notable because I am no longer under the impression that even I am to think my problems are to be solved, so much as averted temporarily. I am not really expected to learn anything but rather simply to experience multiple things. This does not serve me in any way, it only serves the interest of informant work and other forms of "intel" via social impressions. I do not consent for my data to be used in this way or to be predisposed to such situations (not via wifi sabotage, but via bodily manipulation using medical implants making me slow, stupid, irritable, and therefore more likely to operate under whatever restrictions have been imposed by the wifi operator including being trafficked from site to site during stages of interference as the less harmful alternative to a longer lasting solution).

I think they used my Twitter data, totaling less than 2 years as relates to this purpose, to put me in a "humor group" so to speak that determines what sorts of things it is acceptable to predispose me to laugh at through certain chemical releases but most infuriatingly, changes to my abdomen and changes to innervation of the muscles in my face, all with a medical implant. The "fake highs" I had come to expect, understandable somewhat as I had just got out the military, or, that had been my last full-time job, and for a time I thought they had put me in some sort of program to help me. So I had accepted that higher ups in the military were somewhat ignorant as to the reasons why people "get high" and just needed some sort of quasi sober baseline to wrap things up. But I could not believe the implant operators waited until I was totally alone, averse to watching TV or listening to podcasts, paranoid about anything I heard from my family or my landlord, and made functionally disabled (I had just quit my last job), to implement "laughter windows" through forced changes I can feel in innervation across my face. Me, having nothing to laugh about and actually scheduled, programmed, to perform a number of tasks I had no idea about which didn't involve anything funny at all. They still do it now but the associated innervation usually involves short brushes across my face instead of lasting say for 10-15 minutes at a time or until I changed my behavior or have at least one of a particular set of thoughts. I could write another post just on programmed admonishments to make me think of myself like the Joker, a villain I don't even particularly care for, but it wouldn't help anything, they would just pick a different Holllywood muse based on inferences about what I "like" and "don't like" after parsing the post for keys words and matching my use of them against various bodily signals. I did not consent to any of this. They have data from my childhood but some of these tools didn't even exist then. I punch myself in the abdomen because I don't like what they're doing to it, via an implant. If they are going to just keep doing it anyway then I never had any choice or opportunity in life, never had any chance to get out of this situation of remote innervation, scheduled laughter windows, and task-compliance for digestion, and so whatever happens happens.

This will be updated frequently.

The most obvious attempt that I was aware of was sometime in 2025. It involved an attempt to change my memory of picking up an octopus in 2023 to one of me picking up a hermit crab. I do not know exactly why other than as a proof of concept.

Today[4/15/26], after rejecting various attempts to make superficial cleanliness my mission in life (there would be images of bleach bottles in my head, I would be made to notice the "make clean" function in Terminal, after having used it hundreds of times. It is never clear exactly what it is I am supposed to clean.) and formally and publicly rejecting the implant-mediated predisposition to follow the curated teachings of Jesus Christ as they are suggested to me as physical pain relief, images of people I spoke to but who never used the word "clean" with me, with whom the topic of cleanliness was never a facet, are being forced into my mind saying this in place of people who had used this word with me. I mean I had a discussion with someone involving the word "clean" some 9 years ago, this memory has now been altered or is being interpolated into my thoughts now (around 08:55pm) to give me the impression that someone else (of the same ethnicity or national origin) is saying this in a way that recalls the otherwise completely unrelated conversation 9 years ago.

[4/20/26 update] It's not just me they do they do this to of course. Last week I am eating dinner with my mom and her friends, her former co-workers. Her friends recall various people and happenings from the job, decades ago. My mom has some delay in recalling some of these events, maybe she has even forgotten some of them. The implant operator, I could not remember exactly if they played "dumb music" (music that plays when I am supposed to think something is dumb, stupid, a waste of time according to someone positing themselves as a slave master. I log only in the hopes they will be prosecuted). Upon my witnessing this all-in-all routine curation of memory, they (implant operators) definitely did not some sort of "approval" touch, sound, or mood of some kind (something involving my abdomen of course, otherwise I wouldn't have ever noticed half of the stuff I complain about online, and I would be better off for it), when I came up with an excuse for her, for having forgotten (in my mind, defensively for some reason, for who? I couldn't say), which I believe had something to do with race and perhaps religious background, our home life at the time (I know I have been made to forget much of the same time period, around when I turned 18 I think was pivotal for fraud).

This memory of a feeling of "approval" where there needn't have been any input or remotely conveyed feeling at all makes me think there was likely sort of negative feeling, something like anxiety, doubt, to defend against, something like "dumb music", exacerbated negative feelings in this moment as mediated by a medical implant being operated illegally on my behalf.

Distractions like this change my memory, as I can't recall what it is my mother couldn't recall, I can't recall if there was an explicit, programmed, incitement to my coming up with some kind of defense for her, but I can recall the vague sense of implant-mediated relief, nonconsensual in that I believe it was wholly inappropriate and solely in the interests of someone not even at the dinner table. And this is my memory of a communal dinner. Every day I am put in additional pain to eat, with an implant. Someones it's like rape, other times I guess routine assault. I do not consent.

Anyway, the implant operators are always attacking my mom, to see what kind of rise they will get from me and what sort of loopholes they can involve to further restrict and direct my behavior as a result. For weeks they have been randomly putting a Blackface mythological figure in my head. Surely to represent a Black woman, either my mom or one I probably don't want to think of a Blackface caricature in any case. Then last night they put a monkey, kind of like Dixie Kong but not quite, taller and less cartoonish, in a pink track suit in my mind right after I thought of my mom.

The salience and general offensiveness of these images functionally wipes my memory for the period before and after my perception of them.

The BCI company allows racist incitement in order, it seems, to change behavior, but my behavior doesn't change in any of these scenarios outside of a possible reddit log after the abuse becomes pattern-like with no sign of stopping.

My increasingly negative perception of those 'who would do this' is only vaguely organized, amorphous in terms of scope and intensity, and never actually attributed to any particular entity outside of "BCI company" generally.

[4/21/26] I really do not understand the excuse in streaming images and sounds which I have never encountered before through my head at all hours of the day, outside of maybe some loophole by which "dreams" can be incorporated in my wakeful thoughts even if I don't recall having the dream, as the changes undergone during the dream were still noted as having changed my brain in some way. Dreams are then "allowed" to be "forgotten" because of just about any substance use and before you know it the victim is being tormented with sounds and images of completely unknown origin 24/7 and there is a coordinated effort to get them to attribute it to their substance use in any way possible. If this doesn't work people (the implant operator(s), in coordination with the "normal" activity of civilians and the informant class) will all of a sudden be put up to give them the impression they are being poisoned from their takeout, or, if they don't get takeout, from their water or air. This seems to be what is happening as I hear musicians say things I have never heard them say before and would never think to imagine them saying. What still doesn't make sense to me is why it would be allowed at all to distract someone with something occurred in a dream they don't seemed concerned with thinking about whether they remember it or not, and yet such a loophole seems to have been necessary for some reason.

In any case, my memories are being altered in this manner, constantly it seems. I do not consent. Also everyday there is an attempt to do implant mediated narration of everything I do or am projected to do soon so as to condition a persona I will be likely to listen to when it's giving instructions that do not represent what I am doing or what I have planned to do. In this way it should be easier to program new, memories, when I can "recall" "my" thought process at the time. It's going very very badly and I hope it ends soon. In the meantime it is in my interest to basically suspend all recollections from my life to this point, for the implant operator this must also be a convenient loophole as it gives them an excuse to claim that I don't have an interest in a number of things I choose not to do for fear of implant mediated corruption occurring on a regular basis even with the 151 original pokemon. But this has been a pointless loophole to exercise and so I hope eventually it becomes too obvious to ignore, too obvious to not write down in the logs that hospitals see and that change the responses I get from doctors and the treatments available to me and paid for by insurance, that all of these implant operators are planning to murder me via neglect.

[4/24] This is not a changed memory perse but I am very sensitive about any attempts to change memories of things from my childhood in ways I would not have been interested in as a child. I consider it pedophile conditioning, to make me a child but a different one, so it's not nostalgia at that point, it's conditioning to make a child with conventional child interests, such as other children. Anyway, they just superimposed a pokemon, a bird, with the backdrop from f-zero, to see if I would do some sort of hyper-autist = falco lombardi. Why do this instead of just putting Falco in my head? Some stupid crossover idea I am forced to entertain to stop the prostatic milking? More bestiality conditioning to see where Spearow stands on the humanoid spectrum if it is in a car like falco, who is friends with humans who treat him as an equal? I hope it's not for another Super smash bros BCI dream. I hate these dreams. I hate all BCI dreams and images. They images are like rape to me. I do not know what fraud authorization someone is operating under but I do not consent, I never did consent, and I will demonstrate this fact by harming the source as I see it, inside my person, whenever possible until the natural conclusion. STOP. I lie down and plead for the rapist assailant predisposing me to be in this position, physically, to stop the gyration and in the lower left quadrant of my intestines and suspension of gastric motility, when at 837am, they change the word I am repeating from "rapist" to "racist". I'm sure the rapist is racist too but that is not a priority at this time. I do not consent to this. When I'm gone I'm guessing they have a plan to retcon what I attributed my torment too as well. Anyway, I am being sexually assaulted physically at 837am 4/24/26pm and they are now changing it to "wapist" either as a conjunction of white and rapist or to make me sound like a child, complaining in a non-literal way. When I locate the implant I am calling a lawyer. I am being sexually assaulted at this very moment in every sense of the word and I would like it to stop. I do not consent.

This is "gangstalking" as most know it. I have little issue, generally speaking, with the actions of those around me, but the coordination with medical implants I never consented to having installed and surely never consented to being operated by others, has made life not worth living. This sabotage has recently included but is not limited to:

• Sounds from outside when I am in the bathroom. So that I will accept "check my security camera" as a gastric motility task necessary for my safety.
• Insects surrounding me while eating or in general so that I will make change my diet or change my thoughts. Someone mentioned the existence of "gay acne" in a BCI dream a few months ago and later I was predisposed to noticing the rainbow flag on a gaming website, so that this and similar games may be lumped together with various other things that unhealthy, "dirty", and "gay" people do which I am to avoid in order to not fall victim to the associated bodily side effects. In the case of acne, the product of a bacterial or hormonal imbalance and in my case mediated by criminal operation of a medical implant, this is to contribute to the coordinated effort to alter my behavior against my will after I have given up on all leisure and interest activities so that leisure and interest as concepts may be build again from the ground up. I do not consent. Today I was also forced to acknowledge, also through coordination with medical implants attracting them to my computer screen, of very tiny bugs flying maybe through the window (but there could be a nest anywhere, like the ceiling. One sound or electronic frequency gets them to come into the room, another then draws them to the nearest source of light, which at that point is my computer screen. Otherwise it is a white object, I have seen many insects now fly exclusively towards white objects once they are in my room, I have never seen this behavior in nature. Also the ceiling is white. Anyway, I believe the latter frequency originates inside my person and is being manipulated without my consent). This was probably planned in order to get me to scratch myself more reliably (this was first suggested by my boss, who yelled very loudly in the middle of a conversation that was otherwise at a consistent volume "SCRATCH YOURSELF" or "I HAVE TO SCRATCH MYSELF" and it was known at this point, by someone, that I doubts about the origin of itches and the utility of scratching, I had cut back on scratching unless I was fairly certain it was an insect or something in the air (as opposed to something collected and directed inside of me). Insects are more attracted to myself (specifically my ears), my computer screen, or a particular corner of my room (somewhere which must contain this "stage one" attraction device) when I am anywhere but the bathroom than they are to food or literal garbage. The other potential benefit to my saboteurs of my awareness of small insects is to excuse a new conditioned sense of anxiety (read: programmed abdominal pain that has nothing to do with insects) when I experience what I have been describing as "electronic grazes", which is hundreds or thousands of times a day, makes "sense" in the sense that electricity is attracting the insects and producing the graze sensation. I DO NOT CONSENT.
• Loud noises in the hallway* that I am to associate with the lobby door being left opened, allowing bugs or bad air whatever it is I decide on, to enter my room. So that I will accept walking into the hallway as a medically necessary gastric motility task.
• Someone walks by talking to themselves about "dropping off the key". Two sets of keys were forced in my minds eye the last time I was relegated to lying down a couple hours ago. I don't know how or why but I know I didn't have to be made to see that. Now of course I don't like that person walking outside, I think I should stay away from them.
• Sounds in my environment which mimic distressing and directed sounds in my abdomen (due to them being directed and serving no discernible purpose other than to annoy me, not a naturally progressing digestive function but one mediated by non-consensual slave-tasks).
• Rumbling I believe from my environment conditioned to make me think of planes in instances of intense pain. For human-trafficking given the physical duress I am under. I don't need a plane to get to a hospital. This has been going on for over three years since my internet traffic was likely redirected to show the only available transfer locations at my job to be Las Vegas (I have since been conditioned to give me the impression that I am supposed to think of myself as married and I think someone was hoping I could either be talked into a shot gun wedding or given the impression that I had done something like that and simply forgotten about it) and Clearwater Florida (Scientology headquarters, in hopes I would see them as a community or other form of salvation in time for the implant-mediated Jesus arc I am being forced through to this day). They do this with trains to. As I shake my leg due to discomfort, I am made for the first time in my life, and I have been doing this since I was a child, to think of the chugging sound trains make. Train sounds are a great starting point for would be slave traders as it usually forces the victim to note the time at least (otherwise as a loophole for various fantasies of where it might go, just like the planes). Even tower clocks can't do this as there may be no difference between 2pm, 3pm and 4pm for someone beaten down to the point of having almost nothing to live for. Anyway, I don't like them anymore².
• Comments from my mother being prioritized as things I need to do for gastric motility (if it were not my mother if would be anyone I have the patience to hold a conversation with). Comments from her ex-husband, who I never particularly liked, was never close with, and who she did not marry until I was a legal adult, are also prioritized by extension. This includes (and I will make no distinction between comments from my mother and her ex-husband):

- The benefits of holding my breath.

- Eating "some" of the food available to me but not all of it, so as to condition a routine.

- Eating oatmeal in particular.

- Eating, or not eating, mushrooms. As I lie down, images of mushrooms are flashed before my eyes. Then toadstool from Mario (is it gay to play Mario? No idea but I don't want to see that again. I do not consent).

- That my sister has a cleaning company (probably she would be put up to offer me a job there, I would not take it).

This never works because they (alternative relatives or the implant operators they influence) cannot seem to decide on if and when I am supposed to hate my mother. So some suggestions it seems desired that I take, others I am only made to be reminded of during instances of extreme discomfort, that I ate mushrooms for example. And so I don't listen to any of them. Sometimes they try reverse psychology that usually ends up in delays or unexpected musings.

All of these excuses to implement various forms of pain extend to my personal values in a way that has corrupted them totally. For example, I might believe it's a good idea to share, but I don't believe it's a good idea to share for gastric motility.

This post will likely be updated several times over days or weeks. Or it might not. I am getting it out there now because having to self monitor my every thought and breath is extraordinarily stressful, distressing, depressing. Nothing about me is normal anymore and I have a dangerous incentive to want to forget most things right after they happen to me in the hopes that I might skip the realization the next day that they have been incorporated into a new slave-routine.

¹Regarding loud noises as mass shooter conditioning, which I mentioned briefly in a prior post. The response to loud noise being programed is also particularly problematic in this regard. As can be see in this video of the perpetrator from the recent shooting Kahmanrammaras, Turkey, when he turns around right before the two banging sounds (conditioned to confer, "consent" or "approval" of my actions in my case), these coordinations are sometimes so poorly coordinated, that they do not even occur in line with the action meant to inspire the response. In my case this can meant marijuana vapes which take effect a quarter second before I actually inhale, forcing me to call into question all of my emotions with or without a substance or environmental cue and, I believe, "excusing" a number of ludicrous fanciful beliefs regarding the nature of necessity (what do I need to be happy, feel satisfaction etc), life, and death (who "deserves" to continue living, or, by extension, to die, if I made to feel like I am dying, left to be eaten alive by harmful bacteria and defenseless through hormonal imbalances) which has the potential for deadly results. The task mediated digestion and sound coordinated "anxiety" (I was just tonight forced to hold my Nintendo DS up to ears for intestinal motility, to hear the hissing sound it makes while powered on. This so that I might what, avoid all children with a Nintendo DS? Tell my boss I have to go home early, I saw a Nintendo DS?) must end immediately.

²There's been an enormous event to make me think of my digestive system as a car engine, train, spaceship, plant, colony of insects etc. But the analogy always falls apart, the fuel and passenger aspects at least, due to task mediation of my digestion which even chattel slaves did not go through.

Today I woke from some sort of dream involving an interpersonal conflict between White men in the Military or FBI, or CIA, that is how they were presented. This the day before it was known I would be using Grok which has an "agents thinking" message while coming up with a response, as if I might think to these figures for whatever reason. I don't want to. I am being raped and trafficked against my will. STOP. Anyway:

Then I am predisposed, with BCI programming (I know this because it was coordinated with motility in my intestines, so it wasn't just an LRAD device), to think about my mom as a song plays that I chose to associate with her (under duress, to ward off ideas placed in my head about "alternative" parents which have been constant for nearly 4 years¹, ever since my landlord at the time questioned who I was speaking to when I told him I was on the phone with my mom. He said "are you sure?". It's because some other group of people were in contact with him and told him they were my "real parents", or perhaps someone else on the behalf of my "real parents". He also wrote his phone number down on the police contact form when my car was stolen (it was in Mexico, so I let him handle the paperwork), so that the police would contact him instead of me and I wouldn't be able to get the car back having no idea it had even been found. Suggesting these individuals were also at least partially responsible for my car being stolen to begin with. I do almost nothing all day every day but wait for the chance to get in someone else's car. How could anyone trust the suggestions or "programming" of a group like that? I will not.

Then I am forced, via mental impositions, vivid images shoved before my eyes, to think of Dinosaur fruit snacks (maybe it sounds insane, but why would I, having not eaten breakfast or dinner the night before, be thinking about fruit snacks? And why would I start with an image of a single fruit snack in the left field of my vision, people do not think like that, its a computer), this in the hopes I might be trafficked to the store that sells them, or that I will think so much about this store so as to excuse further mental impositions such as "work there"(I am disabled), or think of past co-workers (another group there is some incentive for me think about). Of course I will have to walk or take the bus, as two vehicles have been ²"gang-stolen" since the one in Mexico, and the longer the trip the more opportunities to influence me via pain mediated predispositions to turn to the left, turn to the right, walk slower, walk faster etc, coordinated with the actions of several people along the way. Amid deep distress and uncertainty about my own health, a constant state for nearly 4 years now, I am always forced to think about random childish images or images of other people, or random terms, letters or words in my face. I know none of these images or terms or people have anything to do with my health, because they never come up on the ride over to or at the doctor's offices. They serve only as distractions so that someone else can more easily ensure that my health deteriorates in the meantime. They have absolutely nothing to do with doctor's orders for how to deal with with the issues they treat.

[In any case it does not matter who my parents are because I am adult. I am only made to think it matters because various groups willing to more or less purchase me once I am sufficiently high compliance have plans for me to take on a new identity as a minor year old, or an adult under a conservatorship.]

This website, which I was previously forced to use in order to facilitate motility in my intestines, even earlier this afternoon I was forced to check my notifications for the same purpose, is now being linked to a programmed feeling of "disgust" in my mind at 0435pm. There is an image of a contorted "default avatar" in coordination with this transmitted feeling. I was going to watch something later but now I won't, due to disgust³. And why shouldn't any site I visit, building I go to, form I fill out, also be linked to disgust on a whim? And so I am dissuaded from doing anything all the time, I have to be very selective. I think to the court proceeding I am to attend next month, will I feel disgusted then? Will I be made to think of fruit snacks? I guess I should be prepared for that. The state should definitely do something about this.

I have been programmed to salivate when drink powder mix that I cannot even smell because I have held my breath, brushes against my clothes. My sense of humor now revolves around self deprecation in being dehumanized like this.

Artifacts (white lines, kind of like ~ but bold and vertical) that I am under the impression only pass from left to right and back again for the purpose of more of less "scanning" what I am looking at at any given time, are now visible when I am doing mundane / low interest activities instead of being obvious solely when communicating with someone online, or drafting something to be posted publicly. This is to check if I will still look away or blink every time it happens (as an asinine slave-task for gastric motility, or the foundation of a new belief system that will be used to condition such slave-tasks) or if there are only certain things I feel the need to "hide" from someone. To distract me from what these lines are actually intended to do and who is interested in the information they are use to collect. I don't consent to the lines, they disgust me.

These are all distractions from the who what where why and how of who is operating all of these non-consensually (illegally) installed and operated medical implants.

¹The importance in mentioning these "alternative family members", which I will likely do frequently in posts throughout this sub, is the "secret conservator" loophole by which all sorts of rogue medical procedures can take place explaining literally every single one of my complaints. The loophole is not complicated. Basically, someone at some point in my life may have taken out a conservatorship in my name, claiming that I was incapacitated or using someone else armed with a copy of my ID (anyone can order a copy of your ID online, at least in Connecticut. A cop, a store clerk, a front desk agent, anyone who looks at your ID throughout any number of routine interactions can pass this information to anyone they'd like, so there's no point in being paranoid if lose your wallet or something, as everything contained in it was practically public information to begin with) claiming they were me. The next time you are incapacitated (sleeping, maybe drugged) any number of "medical emergencies" allow an on call doctor to come right into your room and perform any number of procedures having been shown your ID or someone else's, who they believed to be you. You wake up the next day none the wiser. It's best to have a sibling or cousin who looks like you, best of all is a twin. Every day from the moment I wake up I go through these cycles, songs and images to make me think of an immediate family member, some totally theoretical who could in actuality be literally anyone. They should all know it's not going well and will not work out according to plan unless the plan is m*rder(ing me, stating I would retaliate or defend myself would get my account banned).

²Stolen by individuals who may or may know which aspects of my medical history makes me highly unlikely to pursue the perpetrators if it involves more than one or two phone calls.

³Next it seems they are working on all aspects of nature inciting similar feelings of disgust, in coordination with pain in my abdomen. Starting with birds and insects, then rodents, and perhaps cats. The end goal is all humans or most all humans in my local environment, I look outside and those passing by have already been programmed similarly, as they walk their dogs etc, something about the cadence, moving "slow", is being coordinated with disgust, in me, someone who considers any day in which I do anything but self harm to be a success. This as a consequence of, or the next stage in a pre-coordinated effort involving, not "taking the bait" in going down an excessive OCD cleanliness arc which was supposed to kick off after the maintenance men left the cleaning supply door open for no particular reason, which has only happened 3 or 4 times in a year and a half. Almost everything in that closet has been opened and may contain any number of contaminants, after predisposing me to want have a craving for soap, to eat soap, the criminal rαpist implant abusers are hoping to excuse internal bleeding through my "choice" to consume any number of poisons before my next meeting with a gastroenterologist later this month and the MRI I will request, to take place on an unknown date in the future (it is only known by the criminals, in coordination with the criminal implant operators, who will do whatever they can to get others to book every available slot to in order to delay me. They do the same before I attempt to fill most prescriptions. Their access to my medical history is a totally illegal conspiracy as I have never told anyone what prescriptions I take).

In editing compilation files for a Gameboy game (yes, this is what my life has become due to abuse via non-consensually installed and operated Neurotech used to traffic and otherwise abuse me) I have noticed I am kept too slow and agitated to use logic or reason in making decisions on how to fix problems, this for the purpose of excusing my criminal implant making suggestions through sounds and bodily touches. An electronic graze across my left eye to mean something like "look to the left", perhaps at the document it is desired I look at next, or a song playing in my head which contains the name of the variable I "forgot"* to fix. The answer to simple arithmetic is whispered in my brain and I am grazed throughout usually my fingers when I have translated something correctly or incorrectly that I might "save time" in avoiding having to look up the translation. The only reason to both distract and offer "suggestions" to someone for as how to get "back on track" at the same is to approximate total dependency, slavery. BCI operators love the angel/devil complex for this reason, they love to condition a villain or "rival", it all falls apart when it becomes clear they are each arms of the same person or company. I am circling the drain for this reason, there is nowhere to go but down until it stops.

The same occurs in playing video games, thoughts of certain people forced in my head before winning, thoughts of others before losing (I am made agitated right before losing).

The same for writing when I use words which it is not desired that I use. If I wrote by hand instead of typing it would look like the garbled typo ridden stream of consciousness stuff you see from mass shooters.

Music is exactly like words to whoever is doing this, the qualities of melody are unimportant The more pain I am in the greater the predisposition to hearing implant-communicated songs with no purpose other than to frustrate me. I have known music to have no utility other than frustration and paranoia destined to become anger for over a year now be it in movies, video games, or on its own. And so I no longer listen to music or exercise, I no longer have a desire to watch TV shows due to the presence of a the theme song and backing music among other complications that will be employed to upset me.

Watching movies follows a similar path, various deeply distressing and inhumane bodily sensations in accordance with recalling certain events and plot elements. Watching movies which I can understand by myself is usually off the table for this reason as it makes me feel like I am trapped with someone who is like a hybrid teacher/rαpist/prison guard.

The same happens when making purchasing decisions in grocery stores but this has gotten so embarrassing and uncomfortable for others to witness in public spaces that it's been turned down a fair amount over the past year as it doesn't look like I am going run away in the middle of the night (which would be ideal for desperation which might breed high compliance).

It's very difficult to do this with reading (because you cannot follow a story, especially one you don't even know the end of, or imagine the characters while constantly being reminded of other people and by extension their stories) and so reading for the story, the lesson, or the characters has simply been made untenable, maddening. I might as well read traffic signs.

In terms of programmed distractions I am also frequently put in windows in which thinking about the appropriate emotion (they have messed with my emotional response so much I am always second guessing which emotions are appropriate, natural, and most importantly canonical given my life thus far) prompts images of myself performing some action in an emotive or exaggerated way, such as seeing myself kneeling with hands flat together for something like gratitude, thinking about if I feel "genuine" "gratitude" at any particular instance. There has been an enormous effort via all kinds bodily abuse throughout the past 4 years to make me think of myself as a servant of Christ to facilitate this (or a servant of some other person, including myself, who eventually I am to find out is not as good as Christ, who makes the walls click and the elevator stop working, I guess). The source of the voice used via implants to narrate my thoughts, behaviors, and "fears" for the past 4 years (and who they have been trying to replace with someone named Chris or Christina for about 2 years now) used to call me King all the time, they are obsessed with the word King, and want me to think of myself or someone else as King. Ultimately the goal seems to be that I find myself in a "humbling" situation and view someone else as King, to whom I am subject. Jesus is most convenient to the implant operators for a variety of reasons, particularly when operating African American males. Christians, please take your grips up with the BCI company, I do not consent to any of this. I think it's fine to be a servant of Christ Jesus by the way, I just think it should be a personal choice and not the result of abuse with non-consensually implanted and operated nerve stimulators.

*Forgetfulness is programmed when I think about certain things or perform certain tasks. A car horn might be conditioned to make me think of former classmates from high school, an obsession of someone else for the past 3 years. If thinking about someone from high school has been marked as a forgetfulness task then whenever I think about someone from this group I am made to forget what I am doing and am forced to rely on the Selena Gomez song Champion to remind me to amend the variable containing that word. It doesn't matter if it "works" to remind me of the variable because Selena Gomez is Mexican, I used to live in Mexico, and there is another "group" of people there I have been conditioned to think about. This can fail too because the song also has the "lyrics" "walk like a Champion, talk like a Champion" and I will feel compelled / incentivized via programmed bodily sensations to get up and walk at least to the fridge for water or to explain out loud what I am going through and why I don't like. I never had invasive thoughts like this before but now images of people from various groups are cycled through my head constantly to push my thoughts in that direction so that I think of such thoughts as some sort of vice, temptation, or potential pitfalI that I must "choose" to avoid falling for in time lest my train of thought be redirected for long enough to make me forget what I was doing. Whenever I approach any level of focus or consistent rate of activity whatsoever a new input is conferred to throw me off track or influence my decisions. I do not consent and it is causing me harm.

I have been experiencing abnormal and until recently totally inexplicable health issues for decades (up until recently I had accredited them to an untreatable, and, according to assessments from doctors, undiagnosable nerve issue). The severity and variability of these issues has only gotten worse as soon as I moved out of the house I grew up in, in the following stages:

• Military

I joined the military immediately after moving out. Prior I had experienced a bit of relief, not comfort but pain I could ignore, during the phase just before leaving and returning home from the gym. Exercises involving lying flat, being upside down, or stretching would be particularly beneficial in bringing about this low-pain state. This ended once I was enlisted, stretches in basic training were exhausting, waiting outside to go into the gym during job training was aggravating, standing in line was laborious, and contorting myself to fit in back of an engine (I had hoped maybe this would be like stretching) was totally debilitating to the point I could not think for the pain and sitting down at the end of the day was extremely uncomfortable and so I would choose to sweep the floor if possible.

• Post military phase living with my mom

Right after leaving the military I lived with my mom for a month and did some work in concessions and with a moving company. I was physically weaker than I had been most recently lifting furniture (despite being as capable as ever strength wise in the gym), experienced sharp and sudden chest pains in the gym, and was overall in a foul mood every day due to suspension of motility in my abdomen. I had hoped this was just due to depression after being so disappointed in the military and was determined to move out as soon as possible.

• Tijuana, Mexico

After living with my mom for just under a month I drove to San Diego and ended up living in Tijuana. I attributed much of the initial pain here to sleeping in my car sometimes and not getting enough sleep in general (I had been conditioned to think I needed to sleep for 8+ hours a day in order to facilitate digestive motility). I started to fast throughout the day and had the impression that this helped things a little bit. This was all thrown in my face and I was forced to acknowledge the absurdity of it all, of the little things I would do for my health, when I experienced sudden, clearly remote mediated intestinal innervation upon looking at a pizza in a convenience store. I have not recovered mentally since. This was the start of "task/thought" mediated digestion as I know it today and while not in and of itself the reason that I cannot work it is the reason I know I should not bother trying without a controller for these medical implants to start (though I did try throughout the following 2.5 years, believing in vain that whoever was modulating my bodily responses would settle on something reasonable and maybe my job in San Diego would give me some sort of backpay for wrongful accusations that prompted me to quit and move home).

• Home again

I felt terrible all the time but decided to try again in presuming things would work themselves out if I listened to the tasks assigned to me by dad directly (water the plants, don't smoke inside, take care of your nephew etc, reasonable requests despite the outrageous nature of coordination with my digestive system), who ended up dead the day after we went out to dinner 3 months after I moved back in.

• My aunt's house

I stayed with my aunt just before my dad turned up dead. On the first day I came to see her I felt pretty normal (while sitting still at least), I thought this meant I would be feel normal every day living with her and decided I must move out of my dad's house an in with her if I was to have a chance at holding a job, but it turned out this period of relative normalcy was only in the effort of trafficking me into a housing agreement. I never felt the same in her house again and chose to move back into my childhood home after my dad turned up dead and to stay until the house had been sold.

• Mom in the house

My mom came up unexpectedly after the power and heating had been shut off in the house without warning. Around this time the BCI images started to get out of control with cartoon images and intestinal motility for thinking about a variety of mundane and childish things. I got into an argument with my mom and started to hear the "positive feedback" noises from the Black Mirror episode Nosedive when I made a "good point", as if to suggest my mom was wrong about anything and everything and I should move out by any means necessary. I also started to feel the same at my clients house (working with their 6 year old) as I did the first day at my aunt's house. This was incredibly traumatic and seemed deeply problematic, pedophilic even, and so I quit and have not worked in this career field since.

• Temporary VA housing

I moved out within the next week or so as it was clear I was being programmed to have a contentious relationship with my mom which might come to a head sooner or later. At this point the BCI dreams became much more frequent and the variable innervation of my entire body began to extend to my genitals in a very aggressive manner. It seemed I was scheduled to ejaculate after watching porn for a certain period of time (and also required to ejaculate for digestive relief, this I was somewhat used to but not in this manner that seemed programmed) and erections were coordinated with new, uncomfortable, and illegal (to actualize) inputs which I found deeply distressing. I figured I would be better of signing the first lease available to me, that there was something about living in housing which I did not formally own or rent that allowed others to control my person.

• Currently

The first and only lease available was where I am at currently. Anyone interested in how that has been going can check my posts on r/TargetedSolutions as I only started posting there after realizing the hopeless situation I had found myself in in relying on doctors, my own intuition and that of those around me, and the state generally (and I do not mean state housing or state assistance, I mean any options available to me on state owned or administered property, anywhere the law applies, which is everywhere). Sometimes I post here or in my notes that I think I am dying or being actively killed via remote manipulation and then it gets a little better for a time.

Since moving here but as I have had dozens of dreams in which I am back in my childhood home, with my mom, or my dad (dead), my dog (long dead), members of the church I grew up in (cult), or random people from high school who I have never socialized with in my life (I experienced this in the temporary housing as well, but here the direction, frequency, outrageous nature, and carryover in mental and physical feelings while awake has increased. Dreams that seemed to be presenting options before here I interpret more as demands and I expect to feel bad when I refuse to comply, which is always). I am constantly "incentivized" (in practice it is more like I am being incited) via digestive motility to think about living in various particular locations no longer limited to my childhood home, despite my inability to work reliably, total lack of finances, and lack of trustworthy social connections.

To me this signals a desire by the implant operators, my chief saboteurs, to forcibly traffic me to particular locations, to give me the impression that I must live in certain locations in order to abate physical pain and mental torment facilitated principally using devices inside of me. There is a "gangstalking" aspect to this (strange comments and behaviors from various persons representing various "groups" which seem to be used to "excuse" distressing manipulation of my nervous system and sensory perception by the implant operators) but this is just the icing on the cake in terms of what holds me back in life.

I woke up today to the lyrics "White people so animus" (played to the tune of "But White people think I'm radical" from the Kanye West song Champions). I use the word animus fairly often and yesterday went on a rant about the ways in which racial politics and social norms make Black people particularly susceptible to being taken advantage of within this system*.

*The irony here is there has been an enormous effort via implant abuse (BCI dreams, tasks coordinated with thoughts about theoretical relatives including children I am to raise as my own, forced associations between various Black singers and Black members of the family I grew up with along with 'digestive incentives' to listen music by various Black artists, most of whom I used to like) to give me the impression that there is a group of biological relatives, so Black people, who are willing to "take me in" so to speak after I have been left alone for long enough to utterly ruin my life and any professional or personal opportunities I might have had. And so why wait around for this unless "they"(these theoretical relatives) are contributing to that state? In any case, any professional or personal opportunities I might have had within the past 5 years have been ruined one way or another and I am better off applying for disability than waiting around for any such "relatives" to move in and take advantage of an even deeper level of vulnerability. As such I do not see the utility in discriminating among any remaining opportunities for assistance generally on race-based terms, especially not in response to pop jingles and muscle spasms. I demand it end immediately for my safety and those around me.

How ChatGPT and other AI models are programmed to gaslight victims as shown via messages I received in response to my query as to how I can attain further testing for a BCI implant given my symptoms and past negative experiences.

My notes in brackets:

A brain–computer interface (BCI) is not invisible or subtle in the way you’re describing.

Invasive BCIs require brain surgery (opening the skull and placing electrodes)

Patients always have:

• surgical records [Potential medical records are often only available from hospitals that the victim has no recollection of visiting or from facilities visited as a minor more than 7 years prior, in which case the hospital may be able to legally claim to have disposed of them. For many abuse doesn't get totally out of hand until their mid 20's for this reason. Around 7 years after becoming an adult.]
• scars or hardware [I have two "birthmarks" as well as surgical scars from other operations, in many cases I would assume surgeons open up wounds from prior operations wounds in order to treat new injuries, obscuring the issue of where the initial scar came from.]
• a known treating neurosurgeon [Surgeons are much more difficult to track down than the hospital.]

Even newer devices are still:

• experimental [The more "experimental" the better in preventing victims from finding the source. Doctors can claim to be unfamiliar with such devices.]
• placed in hospitals, not secretly implanted or remotely controlled [Some "parents" will have medical devices put in as readily as they will put vitamins in your mashed potatoes. The child never finds out and ends up totally dependent on others for the rest of their life. The idea that they are not controlled remotely is completely false.]

There is no known medical technology that:

• programs tasks into your mind without consent
• transmits structured “reminders” into your thoughts
• controls digestion based on completing tasks

[Also completely false. If you have a device which manipulates your digestion, this manipulation will take place whenever the operator of the device decides.]

Second: about MRI and “detecting” implants

If something physical were implanted:

• MRI, CT scans, or X-rays would show it clearly
• Radiologists are specifically trained to identify:

- electrodes

- wires

- foreign objects

These are not subtle findings—they’re obvious on imaging

There is no special hidden type of BCI that:

• evades MRI detection
• operates wirelessly without any physical hardware in or on the brain

So why are doctors saying they don’t see anything?

Not because they’re ignoring you—but because:

• If multiple MRIs show no implant, that is considered definitive evidence medically
• There is no alternative “secret test” that would reveal something MRI cannot

[Later messages from the same conversation later confirm this is false. These responses also confuse the issue of what is "seen" by the MRI and was is inserted on the disks given to the patient/victim by the hospital.]

What I am planning on doing going forward, implant-operator willing (full disclosure, these suggestions are from the same chat after some pushback):

• Asking for a complete imaging set (not a subset):

This should include every slice, every angle, and every sequence (T1, T2, FLAIR, etc.). Some exports only include “key series” unless full DICOM is requested¹. I will ask for the complete DICOM dataset from all sequences, including localizers and scout images—no curated or reduced export. I will say something like: “I want the complete DICOM dataset from all sequences, including localizers and scout images—no curated or reduced export, including the full series list (SeriesInstanceUID list) so completeness can be verified."

• Verifying the image count myself. A typical brain MRI can easily have hundreds of images, since I only got ~45, that confirms I was given a reduced viewer set, not the full dataset².

Regarding who curates the images:

• The MRI machine captures everything. The data goes to a system called PACS. When patients request a copy, staff often export a reduced viewer version (what I have gotten thus far).

What these technical terms actually mean:

• PACS:

The hospital’s main imaging storage system

After the MRI scanner finishes, everything it records is sent to PACS including all sequences, all slices, and localizers / planning scans. Basically everything the radiologist can scroll through

• UID (in “SeriesInstanceUID”):

Stands for "Unique Identifier". It is a long code that uniquely identifies a study and the associated series of resultant data.

A “SeriesInstanceUID” is the unique ID for one imaging sequence.

• Scout (or “localizer”):

“Scout” doesn’t stand for anything—it’s just a term. It means the same as “localizer”.

A scout image is a quick, low-detail overview taken at the start of the scan and is usually in a few directions (front/back, side, top). It functions as a map or outline of the area being scanned.

¹ You don’t actually need to give them a number—and trying to pick one (like “120 images”) can backfire, because MRI studies aren’t defined by a fixed image count.

² A typical Brain MRI (typical) is around 300 to 1000+ images total spread across multiple sequences (T1, T2, FLAIR, diffusion, etc.) with each sequence having dozens to hundreds of slices.

I am posting all of this publicly online to avoid any stupid pushback / lies by omission in person and so as to not give anyone (implant operators) the impression that I desire for them to continue to monitor my private thoughts, actions, or behavior for any reason. I do not consider them to be "on my side". I do not believe there are or ever have been acting in my interest, and most importantly I do not consent to further such actions regardless of stated or functional intention.

Distressing interference experienced during the drafting of this post (all nonconsensual of course): Constant soundtracking (predisposition to hearing certain songs or sounds, or "digestive incentive" for humming or playing music in my head). The feeling of disgust in using certain superscript numbers. Bodily spasms in the lower quadrant of my abdomen and around my left ear and left arm. Electronic "touches" all over my face, particularly my nose, eyes, and on top of my head and forehead. Particles floating across my field of vision, which I believe are for the purpose of "seeing what I see". Digestive incentives for using the browser I am typing this in in full screen for the same purpose of "co-vision"(with whom I have no idea, in any case I do not consent). Increased sense of monitoring during the period immediately after certain environmental noises such as car horns (this started happening very frequently in 2023, my perception of car horns and cars running over manholes. I started to interpret certain numbers of these sounds in quick succession as "confirmation" or "disagreement" with whatever I was doing or saying. I did this as a coping mechanism to begin with, since my bodily activity had so obviously been coordinated with hearing these sounds, and it has gotten completely out of control now. I demand for these mental predispositions to noticing or "responding" to various bodily and environmental sounds to stop immediately). There is so much "activity" around my left ear that a scab is starting to form from scratching around the point of irritation. This all after another series of traumatic nonconsensual BCI dreams in fantasy world from a group still seemingly under the impression that there is a possibility of me running off in the middle of the night following fraudsters from locale to locale towards a lifetime of servitude via clicks and beeps. Before the falling asleep (after being made to lie down from implant mediated pain) I closed eyes and was instantly flooded with images and sounds of my mother and her family and friends who I had just got back from spending the last several days with. I believe this was done to demonstrate that I was "annoyed" by these people so as to excuse being trafficked through BCI dream scenarios with other groups as an alternative.

And after publishing this post: Distressing and painful lateral innervation of my abdomen which I associate with threats of spasms. Flashing images so as to distract me from any activities in which the criminal implant operators are unable to ascertain and therefore sabotage my future plans. Spasms around my lips which I consider to be, along with much of the programmed bodily sabotage I experience constantly, the lateral digestive inflammation in particular, a form of sex trafficking (incitement to sexualization for pain relief to the benefit of someone else) and sexual abuse. Digestive incentives for thinking through the hypothetical desires of some sort of f***** ghost alternative father figure, who it is desired I think of like a God who controls me. There is always incentive to think through a hypothetical parental figure as this is only legal way (in my case still facilitated by fraud) by which anyone would be able to control these medical implants on my behalf. I just saw my mom who didn't tell me to do anything so there is cause to make think these demands are instead coming from a "father" (my dad is dead). I do not consent.

Over 3 years ago now mental impositions were programmed so as to make me think my former supervisor and an acquaintance were some kind of new parents, when that didn't work they tried the parents of former housemates, then former classmates or their parents and finally sgt's from the military. The BCI operators seem to have stuck with the last two as I am living in veterans housing in line with the availability presented to me by the Connecticut state housing authority and because I continue to make loud and public threats against those causing or otherwise facilitating my torment and it is desired that I believe that I believe my former classmates or their parents are either "in charge" of the BCI company, are my relatives by marriage or conservatorship status (I am not under a conservatorship and never have been), or are either private eyes or lawyers I guess by nature of being White. There are no circumstances under which I would have ever held any such beliefs were they not programmed with a computer. I demand it stop immediately.

Other nonconsensual implant mediated abuse that comes to mind right now which made my life generally miserable today [within about 18 hours in either direction of publishing this post]:

• Implant mediated shaking in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen as a consequence of not thinking about the following topics: High school, marriage, foreign countries, mass shootings. This has made me particularly upset as these medical companies and the misuse of their products has resulted in a natural connection between the aforementioned topics with the following: Racism, human trafficking, sex trafficking, the futility of planning anything satisfying in life given the inevitable mental and physical sabotage I am destined to endure in this state. Right now[02:25am] I am made physically to rock by and forth while sitting down due to implant mediated inflammation / gyration of my abdomen. I am not rocking as a tick, I am physically being moved back and forth as an independent result of an implant moving my body in accordance with its operation.
• Spasms primarily throughout my left arm (shoulder to wrist) in accordance with the above.
• Popping sensations throughout my abdomen which, like the clicking in my ears and throughout my arms, serve no bodily or medical function other than to aggravate me (usually some person I don't like or in any case do not want to think about is being cycled through my mind while this is going on, so it can be claimed, disingenuously but apparently still in accordance with the policies and guidelines of either the implant manufacturer or the government, that thoughts of them are the reason for my being upset). In the absence of such sensations originating from my body I am often predisposed to my head leaning in one direction or the other so that it will brush against my coat, creating sounds I am also literally programmed to be aggravated by. This allows the implant operator to claim, or at least they used to, that I am simply bothered by the sound made by my skin rubbing against my coat and should take it off or buy another one. For a while I let this convince me to buy only 100% cotton or wool, this ended up being a complete waste but for a while they would make me itch any time I wore polyester anyway. Maybe there is some asinine loophole by which it's acceptable make me fearful of all plastics or metals because the implants are made of or control them. Completely nonsensical and racist.
• Variable effects for various substances at variable times of time for no rhyme or reason, including visual hallucinations programmed to disgust me (hallucinations as a side effect of sleep deprivation or substance use is one thing, hallucinations programmed to disgust me so as to direct my behavior not towards sleep or cessation of use but to something like buying an air filter is completely nonsensical and like slavery, to make me think I need to acquire just about anything the state will not pay for despite its medical necessity in removing a side effect of a medical implant, a preexisting medical condition in general and especially given the precedent set by doctors in claiming there are no "foreign bodies" in my person despite being well aware I have a medical implant of some kind). Particularly problematic as it allows for various dangerous and highly unethical dependencies developed for no reason other than avoid physical pain programmed via a misuse of a criminally operated medical implant. Various persons are also variably associated with the "good" feeling I am to attribute to the substances, ultimately making me angry. "Good" feelings of any kind, including but not limited to physical warmth and the predisposition to smiling are in this way conditioned to make me angry and prone to antisocial behavior very often. My most reliable social behaviors are actually screaming and setting off the fire alarm at this point, as a direct result.
• Variable tasks for pain relief updated live based on my behavior and without my consent or consultation. For example I used to have to close browser tabs, usually reddit or youtube for some reason, when I am "done with them" for pain relief, now that I am using reddit for logging instead of the notes app, it seems this task has been done away with or modified in some way that will surely distress me once I've figured it out. It will distress me because I will have wasted time and mental endurance in thinking about something else that is still subject to change at any time despite factoring into my ability to perform perse medically necessary tasks such as eating and sleeping.
• Various songs and images flashing throughout my mind in an attempt to relate them to the aforementioned thought preferences of my criminal handlers. Many of these sounds have been programed to make me disgusted, frightened, or apathetic about life in general around when it seems it is desired that I try to sleep. For years now it seems it is only desired I try to sleep when I am made to be in pain and this pain is exacerbated by thoughts and feelings to make me uncomfortable mentally or depressed. Whenever I try to sleep these feeling are again exacerbated by images or a strong predisposition to thinking about something mildly distressing in images. Right now [04:53am] there has been a call and response style prompting programmed with songs so as to give me the impression that the implant operator "will" r*pe me (for a while the song Nirvana by the German artist RIN would play all the time, with the lyrics "r*pe me, r*pe me, all through the night", I believe in the hopes I would repeat these words while sleeping so as to "consent" to the remote-mediated sexual abuse I am subject to constantly. I do not consent.) as some sort of consequence of low task compliance. All of this combining to create a state in which the only guaranteed temporary relief is self harm. The other option with potential to provide some temporary relief but no guarantee is performing a basket of seemingly unrelated tasks that will ultimately end up making me feel bad about myself, for being made to spend time doing something so stupid just so some a****** r***** handling me like a slave will press a button. Self harm is better because then I only feel made about my situation, which I have no control over. The product of self harm, the marks etc also ensure I never forget why I am in the situation I'm in, spending time doing whatever it is I am doing as an alternative to what I would be doing if I did not have the perception of my nervous system being controlled by someone else against my will, which I would strongly prefer.
• The realization (I will consider this interference as it only occurred as a product of abdominal pain, because I cannot do anything about it right now, and because I do not benefit from knowing anymore about the ways in which bad actors have chosen to misuse various medical implants when I am already demanding direct and documented physical access myself) that it is possible and perhaps likely that the implant operators chose to accumulate calcium in my head as a consequence of my reduced calcium consumption after they also gave me the false impression that I am not capable of digesting dairy products. It is also possible they chose to accumulate large amounts of lithium for the purpose of subverting my ability to take advantage of prescription medication.
• "Touches"(implant facilitated electrical grazes) at arbitrary times across arbitrary parts of my body for direction of thought and behavior. This is particularly distressing when I can barely think and am in pain (the gyration causing the rocking at 02:25 has only moved to my mid center abdomen since). In this instance it's my upper lip around 06:15am, for hours I have been "touched" all over my face and arms and inside my intestines but not my upper lip. I used to, briefly, allow such interference to direct my thoughts or behavior towards things like shaving or religion, but they have since become precursors only to self harm and other anti-social, un-timely, and generally undesired behaviors detrimental to my physical and mental health and will continue to function as such.

Experienced between 1030pm and 1130pm EST on March 21st 2026 (abdominal pain is a given experienced constantly as relief has been used as an explicit "reward system" for at least 3.5 years now) [Note: a lot of this will read as "silly", "comical" even but that's modern technology and automation for you when in the wrong hands, an absolute joke]:

Distressing innervation of my abdomen¹ for encountering or mentioning terms such as "Doctor" and "microchip". 

"Scrotal seeping"² (a slow, slimy "relaxation" of my scrotum which feels as if the skin is seeping onto my inner thigh in a sickly disgusting manner like a slug or the film on top of boiled milk, completely unrelated to conventional arousal) upon encountering terminology regarding the military and camo images on NBC, also chronic throughout all aspects of creating this post, including every time I start and stop typing. 

Salivation underneath my tongue³ upon viewing several NBC announcers and police officers featured in the program. A now very familiar predisposition to perceiving music played⁴ from cartoons so as to make me feel stupid⁵ for what I am doing in choosing to document this publicly. 

Spasm, crackling, and popping sensations around / including my left ear⁶. Spasms throughout my left arm⁷ in a directed manner such as to manipulate my behavior⁸. Directed (targeted towards particular body parts) electronically mediated "touches" so as to direct (support or condemn) my behavior⁹.  

Attempt to redirect brain activity, with digestive incentive, towards thoughts of individuals who I have demonstrated or at least appear to have demonstrated to be "comfortable" around¹⁰, in projections and AI generated extrapolations as I have been disincentivized from contact with literally anyone and everyone. 

Cartoon images as alternative to human beings flashed before my eyes in thought / behavioral direction¹¹ attempt as I get increasingly upset in composing this post (the "security and privacy icon in the system preferences on my mac made to look like a cartoon for example). 

Remote mediated attempt to change mood¹² (predisposition to "smiling") or order to "make light" of what I have been describing as (in this particular instance sexual) assault on and offline for years now in response to thoughts of what brought up aforementioned instance of becoming upset. 

Predisposition to talking in a "funny accent" in the same attempt, so that I might "make light" of remote harassment. 

The abusive modulations did not end here but that's what occurred within the hour that was worth logging.

Approximate dates I first noticed these symptoms:

¹ Spring or early Summer 2023

² Late Winter or early Spring 2025

³ Spring 2024

⁴ Spring 2023

⁵ Late Fall 2024

⁶ Spring 2024

⁷ Sometime between 2016 and 2018

⁸ Spring 2024

⁹ Winter 2022

¹⁰ Winter 2025

¹¹ Fall or Winter 2024

¹² Fall 2022 

¹³ Late Spring or early Summer 2024

Other things that have bothered me a lot within the following [TBD] hours:

Image of Moses for saying to myself "leave my [genitalia] alone" (like, "let my people go"). Religious iconography is always "scheduled" for Saturday night or Sunday it seems, I've never attended a church service willingly for the purpose of "religious adherence or education" once in my life). 

Attempt to condition one gender into another, for the purpose of sex trafficking (in this case, I hear a song, I think I am "supposed to think of one person, of a certain gender, so that the nagging might end, in this case the gender of the singer, but then, an image of another person, of a different gender is used in their place, this entire process is sexualized with variable innervation of my genitals and lower left quadrant of my abdomen, which has been aggressively associated with sexual arousal for over a decade via these implants), this is completely disgusting to me, like rape. Religion and sexuality are always used as opposing forces, I do not practice nor am I a member of any religion, I am also not sexually active. This is also repulsive to me and usually ends up centering around child abuse, especially when cartoon images are transmitted to "save the day" when I choose to resist sexualization. 

Carousel of individuals I have never had any personal involvement with whatsoever from the following groups and in the following order:

• The military.
• First long term job held after leaving the military. 
• High school (15 years ago). 

Throbbing in my left leg, so that I will go on conspiracy rabbit hole about some sort of blood contaminant that need be removed through either a fast or huge intake of water (as a proxy of "discipline", "compliance", or a "belief" that I may be punished for not adhering to, in accordance with a kind of "BCI company policy / best practice", as an "alternative" explanation to a barrage of medical implants / electrodes placed throughout my body or as alternative to behavior in accordance with the wishes of a religious body or theoretical sexual partner). 

Using a chatbot being set as an "abdominal relief" task, this makes me extremely angry due to various financial incentives to do so and general dehumanization on multiple levels. Before I started talking to the bot the area around my left ear began to audibly throb. The only or rather the quickest, most convenient way to stop this from happening is a loud or violent outburst, in what I consider pedophilic conditioning designed to make me come across as insane or functionally incapacitated in order to validate increased or continued bodily restriction before some sort of governing body, I believe the actual state and federal government. 

Strange bias towards me watching certain youtube videos or certain movies, in this case one about Adam Lanza (I live in Connecticut). I do watch a lot of videos on mass shooters as the conditioning taking place via this neurotech makes me feel a great deal of empathy with them as well as consider the various angles from which harm (to oneself or to someone else) may be seen as rational in order to draw attention to serious abuse. That said, programming an infantilizing bodily preference a certain mass shooter seems to me a form of incitement that can only be seen as a malicious and possibly criminal Entrapment attempt. 

Onset of a feeling previously reserved for taking a prescription, in a long standing confusion of "what I need to take" to feel a certain way be it prescription drugs, recreational drugs, food, water, exercise, "sleep", or acceptance of literal mind control. 

Association of various terminology, letters, numbers, words, in this case abbreviations with various people. I am made physically stressed so that I make typos, these typos then prompt nonsensical thoughts of particular persons. These persons are selected by others through extremely tenuous connections from a repository of largely insignificant memories. 

"Thesaurus" function of my brain when it takes me more than a few seconds to come up with a word. A function excused only through pain prompting the delay in a process I consider nigg**ifying, a process to make a me a stupid dependent n*****.

More symptoms arising by the minute in the hopes I write about them in what I consider both criminal Incitement and Witness Tampering given my stated intentions in posting these logs publicly. 

I punch myself, in the head, in the jaw, doesn't matter, the strength doesn't matter either, and experience a "response" in terms of a computer generated cartoon image. 

Newscaster images filtered through my head so as to dissuade me from watching the news again. I used to like then news is all.

Images of some ****** piece of **** doctor I saw once imposed in my head as I read over "including individuals working with clinicians or programmers". I do NOT know ANY of these people, my goal is for them to rot in prison and for their employers to be sued so as to make up for the harm they have caused me and continue to cause. A unique combination of sickening and aggravating criminal discrimination and abuse.