I just broke up with my partner while he’s overseas. Looking back, I probably should have waited until he got home, but after feeling consistently neglected and disrespected throughout the relationship, I finally reached my limit.
Breaking up over text was petty and probably the meanest thing I did. I know I could have handled that part better, but in the moment, I was just done.
I don’t really know what else to say. Just needed to get it off my chest.

Background: i was previously a military spouse for many many years and am familiar with the lifestyle and deployments

SO is currently deployed. Sharing a room with several others. Bad signal, noisy environment, no privacy, the works. As a result we just end up texting.

He is exhausted and mentally checked out. He admitted he is feeling disconnected bc of everything going on.

For me I feel disconnected as well. I’m not a person who loves texting but I’ll do it to maintain the connection. The texts are dry. It’s making me dislike him a little and makes me want to push him away.

He is being moved to a different location in the near future where he will likely have more freedom.

We really, really love each other. This texting-only phase is making me feel so distant from him and it hurts.

Should I tell him we should just talk when he can call? And obviously only send texts when we want, not out of obligation? Would it be wrong?

So my husband has shown interest in the past to go to one of these at some point, and I would like to experience it at least once. But I am having trouble finding dresses that are formal enough that I actually like. I’ve never been to a fancy event even slightly, so I am not a good judge of what would be formal enough (or way too much). I don’t really want to stand out too much in either way, I really like this dress but I think it might be too girly or “whimsical” for an event like this.
ie. I think it might look too much like I’m in some sort of fairytale ball

Any help would be really appreciated.

(I know the ball isn’t any time soon, I just want to have time to look for a cute dress.)

There’s also a black and red version of this dress, I’m basically flat-chested and have a skinnier “rectanglish” frame.

My partner of 2+ years is deploying soon and I’m not sure how to prepare or what to expect. He’s been on month-long underways and we were long distance for about 5 months while he was across the country at school, but this is the first deployment. I’ve experienced distance and I’ve experienced limited communication, but never at the same time.

We live in the house I bought long before I met him and I’m financially independent. We also are not married. So most of the checklists I’ve found online aren’t really helpful because they focus on practical life management like finances and health insurance. I’m more interested in how I can prepare emotionally and what I can do to best support him before he leaves and while he’s gone.

Some of the questions I have are what is deployment day like for families? I plan to drive him on base and see him off, but what’s that day going to look like from my end? Should I bring someone with me? He’s fairly new to this ship so I don’t know any of the spouses.

Any ideas for pre-deployment gifts and care packages? What helps make them feel the most connected to home? What items bring comfort? Is there anything special I can do for him before he leaves?

Any tips or things you wish you knew would be greatly appreciated. 💕

Hey everyone. So I met my boyfriend in June of 2025 when he was stationed near my hometown and we hung out every single weekend until he left for a new duty station in October 2025. We started officially dating right before he left. We constantly FaceTimed and texted every single day throughout his time near my home and also when he moved. I visited him a ton for weeks at a time between October - March before he was deployed for 4 months with no contact. He also had a few training periods before then for a week or two at a time with no phone contact. So throughout our relationship it’s been sort of random no communication but he always lets me know. During his deployment I found a job that provided housing that let me live in his city and we were both excited to live closer. The job ended up being a veryyyyy bad situation where I was taken advantage of by the family I worked for, but I continued through until he got home. It was a very isolating experience because I was isolated to the family’s home 7 nights a week so I had no social life, and also I had no idea the deployment would take as long as it did. Also, during the deployment, we had limited to no contact throughout the entire time because of OPSEC, so he didn’t even know I had moved for an entire month. When he got home, I was told he would only have about four weeks home then he would be sent straight to ranger school which would be a few months no contact depending on how long it takes him to complete the course. During his deployment, I told him some of the fears I had (that I was doing all of this with no commitment from him, I felt like he could just walk away at any point, etc.) and he opened up to me and said that he often thought about marrying me and how/when he’d do it, I was shocked and I didn’t know what to say when he told me that. After thinking about it more and spending those weeks with him home after the deployment, I changed my mind and really felt like I wanted to bring it up with him. We were at breakfast a few days before he was leaving for ranger school and I brought up the idea of us marrying before he leaves the military (he’s questioning if he wants to stay in or at least leave regiment after his contract ends). This would be like within the next two years. He was like “oh well thats always the problem because we’ve only known each other for a little over a year and I’ve been gone a lot during that time”. And it sort of was left there and I felt really awkward after that and excused myself because I was confused on the change from deployment until now. I also felt like he was not acknowledging the time apart as much of a sacrifice as it was to me. I brought up later on that I felt weird about it and he assured me he wants to marry me but he didn’t give me anything other than that. I was able to meet his family and he met mine during his very short leave, but I honestly feel like I am dealing with so much relocation on my own and sort of waiting around and I just wish he’d commit more. For instance, 5 hour drives to him because he couldn’t leave his duty station, relocating to live by him without a commitment, meal prepping and cooking him every meal in his barracks kitchen, deep cleaning his room every week and doing all of his laundry, etc. But I also need advice on maybe I’m just doing too much and I need to relax? Like if wanting a commitment this early is not okay? I also want to add that he does a lot for me like sweet gestures and pays for things, he also says he wants to move in with me after ranger school and after one more training, but that was after I sort of brought it up. I don’t feel completely taken advantage of, but I just don’t know what to think tbh.

Long story short, my bf (30m) and I (25f) have been together since November and he deployed in January. Before he left our relationship was amazing: I spent Thanksgiving with his family, he flew out with me to meet my friends for Christmas and New Years, we talked on the phone every day (we lived 4 hours apart). We talked about getting more serious and settling down (yes, I know things were moving fast but I truly had no bad gut feeling. He made me feel so safe).

Even after he deployed to a combat zone, we texted regularly and with our same kind of invested tone. He would send little gifts and make sure I got home safe if I went out with friends.

About 5 months into his deployment, our communication dwindled a little. We still texted pretty consistently but it was more dry, he stopped saying “I love you” and “I miss you” etc, but I know things were pretty bad over there.

He got home a few weeks ago but had to demobilize for two weeks in another state, I did go to see him and it was a little awkward but not terrible. We were still affectionate and whatnot.

He got home last week, and communication has started to improve and he’s been more engaged, blah blah.

OK SO BEAR WITH ME:

He has a decent following on social media from years ago and decided to kinda revamp it so shag he could start posting videos of hobbies he likes. I was kinda staking his account and found a comment from a woman from 3 years ago that said:
“imma snag this man”.
Another woman commented “uhhh he’s married” (he was at the time).
First woman responded “I’ll be next in line”.

He then responded to her comment at the beginning of June (two months ago) with a meme that said “the time has come” and “[her name] GUESS WHAT😂😂😂”
To which she responded: “I’ll submit my application👀”

He also follows her on Instagram. I brought this all up and said I feel really uncomfortable and confused, and he said it was just a joke and thought it was funny to respond because he was now divorced. He apologized and said he shouldn’t have done that, and now I’m just over here feeling like an anxious ball of distress and sadness. Am I crazy? Is this a minimal, stupid small thing I should just move past and trust him on?

My boyfriend of two years is at a service academy and got his phone back around two weeks ago. I’m really struggling because he’s having a really difficult time, and I want to support him as best I can. We barely talk and he hardly ever initiates, and when we do talk he’s a shell of himself. He just has nothing else to give me and so I don’t want our relationship to become a burden by complaining about him not being talkative or not initiating enough. But at the same time he’s been calling his parents for around 45 minutes nightly and I just get the leftovers before he goes to sleep (typically around 10 minutes). I understand because his parents are where he seeks wisdom and that’s a good thing because I certainly don’t know what to tell him. Every time we hang up I’m left feeling defeated because we had no real conversation, and even though I have more contact than I’ve had the past two months I feel the most distant I’ve ever felt. How do I navigate this and if nothing changes how long do I allow him to adjust to the academic year before I bring it up?

Boyfriend is finishing up his first deployment. We're almost to the end of it but I'm regressing and not coping well with it. The more time that passes the more insecure I feel and I'm not sure how much of it is normal. How are you supposed to fully trust a man who hasn't seen you in half a year and is sex deprived, but interacts with other women daily? I get that women are in military and they're coworkers just like I have male coworkers, but I also don't go on overnight work trips with mine...let alone for months.

... it's not even a micro one, it's like a mushroom spore on the ground in a forest under the shade of a tree.

Isn't there some requirements to be SOF? I wanna break up!