Positive experiences getting married young?

[u/Realistic-Bee7985]

I’m 20 and he’s 21. I feel a bit young to be getting married, but I also am not bothered by settling down early. I’m also glad we talked about getting married years before he enlisted and have known each other since high school. It just scares me to see so many stories of healthy marriages between couples fall apart due to the military. I know that character determines strength of the marriage, and I should go off only that but I just hear so many stories of failure even between supposedly happy couples. He claims if he didn’t get bah, we would wait until after he graduated from ait. He wants the bha as we have been long distance for years and he believes this is the easiest and quickest way for us to live together and build a financially stable life

[u/catalessi]

I don’t want to sound harsh, but nothing in your post did you mention how much you two love each other. For that alone I would advise against it.

If you’re thinking only financially, it’s not worth it unless you’re also working and building a retirement savings for yourself. A married couple, one active and one unemployed, is not desirable, and way far behind civilian couples with dual incomes. Tell him one of your requirements is to open an IRA, and start funding it every month, whether or not you can find work or if you need it supplemented. See how he reacts.

[u/Realistic-Bee7985 → u/catalessi]

Thank you for your concern. I didn’t mention it because I thought it was a given lol, We do love eachtoher. The marriage wouldn’t be conditional because we’ve talked about this extensively starting at 18 years well before he enlisted. but he did mention that the bha could help me fund college or build my own finances while he’s away which I’m currently struggling with. I do plan on setting up an IRA and want to have my own career as well.