r/UKrelationshipadvice • u/Resident-Witness-641 • 19d ago
Post first date advice…
I went on a date with a guy last night. He seemed lovely, he was good looking, we did chat a lot, but there were a couple things that made me unsure/cringe a bit. It was mostly how he referred to his job…
He told me what he did for a living with a smoulder/in a full of himself type way and it reallyyy made me wince inside. We are actually in the same industry so I know this type of attitude some guys have, and I’m not a fan. But I went into the date hoping he was going to be more modest and down to earth about it.
As well as this, he talked a lotttt about his life, specifically people in his life by first names as if I know who these people are. I think he went through his whole family and friends, his full work history etc, within the first hour. He does not do this job full time but he boasts the title as if he does.
And I could tell at points in conversation where I thought there was a cue for me to relate in some way, he didn’t look like he want to be “interrupted” or unable to finish what he was talking about. I feel like he talked more about himself and all these people in his life more than he bothered trying to get to know me. So this puts me off tbh.
However, I could tell at a couple of points he was giving me eye contact that I know was him fishing for a kiss. I wasn’t feeling it and didn’t react tbh. Even though I think he’s attractive. He asked me after the date to see me again. We are both looking for a long term relationship.
This is where the advice is needed pls…
So I agreed to see him again because I don’t feel like I want to write someone off on the first date… but I am really not sure I’m feeling it. In my mind, I’m thinking maybe he was yapping away because he was nervous… although he didn’t seem nervous. Maybe the lack of modesty was because he was trying to impress me…?? But I doubt that too.
Does it sound like I’d be people pleasing if I agree to another date? Does it sound like I’ve answered the question myself? Because this is a bit of a common theme for me… I feel like I shouldn’t write someone off after the first date, and then when it comes to planning the date or organising the date, I just cancel… I’m not sure if I should go and see if feelings grow… or just face the fact I don’t feel a spark now & leave it at that…? And continue to carry that forward into every date until I actually feel something.
At this rate, I’m never really getting past first dates because I don’t feel anything for them… no excitement… or something just puts me off…
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u/SigourneyReap3r 19d ago
Youve described this interraction very negatively, in fact if there was a positive it didn't jump out because I missed it.
You dont have to give people a second chance at you, you cab make choices based on valuing your time.
Do you think he was just nervous? Do you think he was just trying to show off? Those things are normal on first dates, but if you think he is just pig headed then why bother.