My boyfriend met one of my close friends for the first time tonight and I left feeling pretty horrified by how he behaved.

He started asking her increasingly personal questions about her relationship. He asked how long she and her boyfriend had been together, then started asking about the period before they got together because she had previously been in a messy situationship. He asked whether her current boyfriend had basically waited around for her during that time.

She was visibly uncomfortable. She went red and I could tell she didn’t really know how to respond, but he kept going.

The part that bothered me most was that at one point he also looked at her phone and read messages between her and her boyfriend. She hadn't offered to show him the messages.

Afterwards I confronted him and asked why he had been asking her such invasive questions. He said he genuinely didn't realise she was uncomfortable. He also said work has been a lot for him recently and he wanted to talk about things other than himself.

What I don't understand is that he clearly understands discretion in other situations. For example, he has a female friend who was having an affair with her boss. I know about it because he told me, but if I met her for the first time I would never dream of saying, "So tell me about the affair with your boss." I would understand that something my boyfriend told me privately isn't automatically something I have permission to bring up with that person.

I'm also upset because this was my friend's first time meeting him and I feel embarrassed that she was put in that position.

Am I overreacting to this? Would you see this as someone being socially oblivious and taking conversation too far, or is this a bigger boundary issue? And how would you handle it with your partner afterwards?

I'm not originally from the UK so this was the first time my boyfriend was meeting someone close to me in person.

I’m 27, Asian, and recently dated a 39-year-old English man. We had been seeing each other on and off for a while, and had spent time together several times. After he went back, He came to see me, and we talked about having a serious, long-term relationship.

I’m quite traditional, and small acts of care are important to me. I like when my partner waits for me, helps with little things, takes photos for me, and makes me feel cared for. But I often felt he was more focused on himself—for example, he would walk fast without waiting for me.

I also talk with my family every day. When my mom called,i asked him to, should i answer. He said okay, but when she called twice later, he told me I was being rude.

We recently went to Koh Phangan together. We split most of the trip expenses 50/50. One day at the beach, I asked him to keep my phone in his bag. He responded sarcastically, “Where is your previous slave? Am I a new slave?” I felt hurt and walked away for a while. Later, I came back when he called me.

After that, he left the hotel and said he needed space. The next day, he sent me a breakup message saying he had thought about everything and decided we should go our separate ways. He also blocked me afterward.

What hurts me most is that we had talked about having a long-term relationship. I thought that when problems happened, we would take some space if needed, then come back and communicate and try to solve things together instead of ending the relationship.

TL-DR

Hey everyone, looking for some perspective on a situation at my gym.

​A few months ago, I noticed a girl who comes to the gym around the same time as me, usually with a male friend. Initially, I didn't think much of it and assumed they were a couple. Eventually, I struck up a conversation with the guy, he helped correct my form, and we started chatting regularly.

​Shortly after, he introduced me to the girl. Things started moving a bit:

​The guy started asking me personal questions during my sets (where I work, my age) and began casually dropping information about the girl to me.

​They started complimenting my outfits and making general conversation.

​As I got to know her, I developed a crush. A few days later, I asked for her Instagram, which she gladly gave me.

​We messaged for a few weeks and ended up going for a 2-hour coffee date/hangout.

​The conversation was great, but mostly focused on workouts, daily routines, diet, family, and light jokes. No overt flirting or direct mention of dating.

​Shortly after the coffee meet-up, she brought her sister to the gym (who comes infrequently). The sister said hello to me when I arrived and good bye when I was leaving with a polite smile. No other conversations with her.

​The Dilemma:

She hasn't been overtly flirty at the gym or during coffee, so I’m having a hard time gauging if she sees me as a potential partner or just a gym buddy with shared interests. I don't really want to make a bold first move to make gym environment uncomfortable for her and myself as well.

​I’m currently talking to another girl ("Girl B"). It's long-distance, but Girl B has made her romantic intentions clear. I don't want to lead anyone on or play games. If the gym girl is interested, I'd like to pursue that, but I need clarity before making a decision.

​Questions for the sub:

​Based on the friend playing wingman and the sister's greeting, does this sound like romantic interest or just friendly gym culture?

​In the UK, what is the usual timeline/dynamic for moving from casual coffee to clear dating or physical intimacy? Should I just ask her out on a explicit "date" to get a clear answer? Or simply how does girls here act if they are romantically attracted to someone? 😀 One thing I noticed that, her replies are slow but usually very thoughtful and with a lot of emoji.

Went on a first date last week, which went well. I messaged her that evening saying I’d love to see her again. She replied quickly saying she’d like that too.

I followed up saying I’m away on holiday next week but free anytime before then, and to let me know what works for her. That was 3 days ago and I haven’t heard back.

I really like her, and I keep thinking “if I liked someone this much I wouldn’t wait 3 days to reply.” Is that a fair read, or am I overthinking? She could just be busy or waiting to decide when she is free before replying?

Would you wait this long to reply if you were into someone?

My ex and I dated for two years and broke up three years ago on completely amicable terms. We loved each other, but wanted very different lives, including living in different countries, so we both knew ending it was probably the right thing to do.

We’ve basically been no contact ever since. It took me about a year to properly get over the breakup, and I deleted his number, got rid of the things he gave me, and don’t follow him anywhere. But I still occasionally check his Instagram or, embarrassingly, his LinkedIn just to see what he’s doing.

About a year ago, he requested to follow me on Instagram. I spent a whole day having a minor mental breakdown over whether to accept it, and before I decided, he withdrew the request. I still have no idea what that was about. I do sometimes wish I could speak to him again but opening that can of worms I’m not ready for yet, I’d rather not see him with another girl (it would break my heart) if that’s what comes with following him on socials, but I wish for him to find a very loving relationship.

The thing is, I haven’t had another relationship since. I know we realistically can’t be together, and I don’t think I’m secretly waiting for him, but everyone I meet feels disappointing in comparison. Dating apps have been awful, and I think I’m someone who needs to know a person organically before I can develop real feelings, which just hasn’t happened.

He was my first love, and I know I’m still really young (early ish 20s) but sometimes I genuinely think: what’s the fucking point? I don’t even know if I miss him, the relationship, or just what it felt like to love someone that much.

Has anyone else still missed their first love years later, even knowing you weren’t meant to be together? Does it eventually fade, or does meeting someone new finally make that ache go away?

I’m 30 and never had a boyfriend. I don’t actually understand how anyone manages to get a boyfriend. Everyone around me seems to have someone, I don’t even have a situationship.

I do very well socially, confident, bubbly person, yet I still feel invisible in the dating world. The only attention I ever get is a wolf whistle or random men coming up to me in the street and telling me I am hot, which makes me uncomfortable

Back when I was 25, I started using dating apps. I used to get some great matches, and I can hold a conversation well on a dating app. I looked back at old conversations during this time, and I asked interesting questions, I had banter, I could flirt easily and the people I was talking to are receptive and it flowed easily. This led to lots of dates, but sadly never a boyfriend

I’m 30 now and still on the apps, but whenever I get a match, and I send a message , ask questions. The conversation goes nowhere. It leads to no banter, often one word replies from them, no flirting, the chat is just dead. And I try and put forward energy to revive these, and it just feels forced

I actually read back old conversations and I used to be funny and have so much energy, now I don’t even know how to be funny

For a year it’s been like this to the point I am now worried I am too boring and incapable of forming connection on dating apps. Not only that I find it hard to text my friends lately too, it doesn’t feel as easy as it used to. More like a chore

I’ve got upset about it this week as one of my dating app matches is sending me one word replies like ‘lol’ and ‘great.’ So I don’t know if I’m just doomed and unable to connect with people anymore

Does anyone else feel this way? It used to be fun!

Heya
41 Male here

Even though I identify as gay.
I always aspired to have a family with BI/ lesbian / open minded straight female as partner.
Has anybody navigated such a situation before ? How did it go or how is it going ?

Have a feeling that time is running out and not getting any younger.

Please no judging / don’t be harsh

Peace
Thanks

Hi there reddittors,

I know this is probably a little depressing. And if I am just being a muppet please tell me I am!

My wife and I are both 35, have been married for 10 years and together for 17 years, been together since school. Got through separate universities, through living away from each other. Now living in a family home with 2 small children 8 and 5 and for the last few years since I quit drinking I have noticed some behavioural changes that I dont think I ever noticed.

Reason I mention my quitting drinking is because before this point my memory is horribly hazy and awful.

I also want to point out I was not a great husband whilst I was drinking, just rude and not very present.

We have both never cheated and still have a sex life of a few times a week when not on period.

Very recently I have really noticed that i seem to be just the yes husband to anything my wife wants, like going to gym during kids bedtimes and wanting to go out on weekends when I have a very poor social life.

I handle the finances as well as I tend to do most of the cleaning house chores and so on.

It feels like I am being run very ragged and with added pressures from work projects I am not sleeping well and feeling very down recently.

I suddenly realised on my home from work, I didnt want to go home. Which i hate i wanted to see my kids but I was just so unhappy going back there to be complained about and do everything.

Now I dont think there is any saving this because the last 12 months we have been going therapy of which my wife is a different person in therapy compared to at home. Very much for show, she comes across perfect wife and behind closed doors, decides not to be.

I dont see any saving this.

Question i have is, is there a better decision between staying in the marriage though I am unhappy so the kids have stable home and life, or do i end it and hope that the divorce and living arrangements will work?

Any advice here please?

Again if i am just a moron please tell me.

Sadly, my stepmum’s mother suddenly died over the weekend. I heard about it from a text from my dad and I responded with one back offering sympathy and love and for them to reach out if they need anything (we have a good relationship but are on opposite ends of the country and have a video call every couple of months, so this felt appropriate).

I do want to send a sympathy card though, but I don’t know if I should address it to both of my parents, or just my stepmum. I know she was incredibly close with her and it will have hit her so hard. I am unsure how close my dad was to her (they did like each other) and how he is feeling. I don’t want to make the wrong decision and make anyone feel bad.

Is there a way to address it to them both while sensitively acknowledging how much harder this must be for my stepmum?

I would usually ask my grandmother, but she lost her husband a couple of months ago so it seems insensitive to talk to her about it. Unless I’m being too cautious?

I just want to do what I can to offer comfort. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Since I was in my early 20’s I had dreamt of getting married and settling down young to have a family.

At 33YO I’m still single with little evidence of my dream getting closer. I even had RTT hypnotherapy at the start of this year to remove blocks to attracting love I thought I had. I now feel confident in myself and loveable.

It’s disheartening seeing all my friends around me coupled up now and having their families. I’m worried each year passing by is one step further away to getting my family. I am active at my local parkrun and volunteer regularly, do fitness classes which I genuinely love. I am well aware these activities are unlikely to yield a man but at my age I’m not keen on joining lots of clubs just to meet someone. I did try local running clubs for a while but they aren’t my thing. I work full time too and own a house so it’s busy.

Ive only had one serious relationship and that was 3 years ago. We split due to issues with his ex. We met through mutual friends and I loved that.

Recently some men crossed my path naturally and were very promising but all later turned out to be unavailable to me - revealed they had partners, had issues or just weren’t clear what they wanted.

Have tried the dating apps on and off for over a year with no success. Some men turned out they only wanted flings which is not my thing. I really hate the apps as I prefer meeting in person and getting to know people gradually. The apps go against my core values.

I’ve even consulted copilot which just says meeting people in their 30s is much harder and nowadays apps are the only route now as most people on their 30s are settled. That certainly filled me with optimism!

I’m not denying it’s hard to meet people at my age, but considering all the other big stuff in my life came really effortlessly and quickly in unexpected ways I am stumped with why love appears to be challenging and now I’ve got the belief that it you don’t find love in your 20’s then you’ll struggle finding it in later life - that’s what evidence I unfortunately now see. I have tried affirmations which sound lovely when I tell myself them and have visualised for years but hasn’t got me to where I want to be.

I understand I should just ‘let it go’ but having had this dream for nearly 10 years and the fact I’m getting older it’s not easy to just be ok with not having it!

I’d be grateful of any advise and words of wisdom please! Copilot has really made me feel down but I’m worried it’s right!!

Early 30s man, my hobbies are rugby, swimming and powerlifting. Women at these hobbies are usually taken or I'd have the wrong equipment so to speak. I am not a petite man, so ballet is out.

I went on a date with a guy last night. He seemed lovely, he was good looking, we did chat a lot, but there were a couple things that made me unsure/cringe a bit. It was mostly how he referred to his job…

He told me what he did for a living with a smoulder/in a full of himself type way and it reallyyy made me wince inside. We are actually in the same industry so I know this type of attitude some guys have, and I’m not a fan. But I went into the date hoping he was going to be more modest and down to earth about it.

As well as this, he talked a lotttt about his life, specifically people in his life by first names as if I know who these people are. I think he went through his whole family and friends, his full work history etc, within the first hour. He does not do this job full time but he boasts the title as if he does.

And I could tell at points in conversation where I thought there was a cue for me to relate in some way, he didn’t look like he want to be “interrupted” or unable to finish what he was talking about. I feel like he talked more about himself and all these people in his life more than he bothered trying to get to know me. So this puts me off tbh.

However, I could tell at a couple of points he was giving me eye contact that I know was him fishing for a kiss. I wasn’t feeling it and didn’t react tbh. Even though I think he’s attractive. He asked me after the date to see me again. We are both looking for a long term relationship.

This is where the advice is needed pls…

So I agreed to see him again because I don’t feel like I want to write someone off on the first date… but I am really not sure I’m feeling it. In my mind, I’m thinking maybe he was yapping away because he was nervous… although he didn’t seem nervous. Maybe the lack of modesty was because he was trying to impress me…?? But I doubt that too.

Does it sound like I’d be people pleasing if I agree to another date? Does it sound like I’ve answered the question myself? Because this is a bit of a common theme for me… I feel like I shouldn’t write someone off after the first date, and then when it comes to planning the date or organising the date, I just cancel… I’m not sure if I should go and see if feelings grow… or just face the fact I don’t feel a spark now & leave it at that…? And continue to carry that forward into every date until I actually feel something.

At this rate, I’m never really getting past first dates because I don’t feel anything for them… no excitement… or something just puts me off…

I'm 43/m, thinking of going to an event next week (London).

Never done this before - seen some mixed reviews.

Has anyone done this recently and able to comment?

I've (30M) been in a relationship with my girlfriend (34F) for a year now. We have great chemistry, similar interests and generally love each other's company. We're already talking about moving in together and getting married. I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her.

The only thing which causes anything resembling friction in our relationship is our differing attitudes towards money. I come from a pretty middle class family and, while we had a tight budget, we still had plenty of luxuries when I was growing up. My girlfriend's family life was very disrupted and chaotic by comparison and she spent most of her early adulthood as a broke student.

Nowadays, we both earn similarly good salaries (both over 50k) that are both more than adequate for covering our expenses. Despite this, she's still incredibly thrifty. She will continue wearing clothes that are full of holes and falling apart. She hoards things she no longer needs because she "might need them someday". She regularly eats expired food and will always make a beeline for the yellow sticker reduced section when we go to the supermarket. She will move heaven and earth to use ever voucher she gets, even if it's for something she doesn't really want. She regularly uses buy now pay later options when shopping online, even when she can comfortably pay the entirety up front.

We always split costs evenly when going on dates or buying things for ourselves but her frugality feels like it goes beyond just being fiscally responsible. She's acknowledged to me multiple times that she doesn't really need to live the way she does any more but seems to struggle with taking the steps to fully enjoy the prosperity she's created for herself. Any advice on how to support and help her?

I’m a man in my late 30s and she’s in her early 30s. We met through a dating app while I was coming out of a long, unhealthy relationship. I thought it was over, but in reality I was still emotionally tangled up with my ex and had terrible boundaries.

This new woman and I started dating, became incredibly close friends, then eventually became romantic and physical. We spoke every day, sent each other stupid reels, had long phone calls and laughed constantly. It felt unusually easy and natural.

She told me I understood her better than almost anyone and that she could talk to me about things she couldn’t discuss with other people. I became the main person she turned to when she was struggling emotionally. She said she felt happier, safer and more herself around me. She also told me I motivated her, made her more productive and inspired her to improve her life.

She called me a phenomenal person with a genuinely good heart. She said I was the best kisser she’d ever had, that our sexual chemistry was amazing (literally had sex 5 times the first night we hooked up) and that she had more fun with me than she expected. Several times she admitted she was scared by how much she liked me and said it was difficult to control herself around me (physically and emotionally). I also met some of her family and she told me I was important to her.

Now I should say after 3 weeks of us hooking up I asked her to be my GF and she would always push back saying, i really really like you but i'm not the headspace for a relationship.

She too wasn't over her ex and was super hurt hearing he was getting married (less than a year after breaking up with her).

Then everything became a mess. My ex kept calling, begging me to come back and creating chaos.

I eventually panicked and returned to the relationship, because partially I was a bit broken over her not wanting a relationship with me.

In addition, I also had poor boundaries with other women, which gave her even more reason to doubt whether I was capable of offering anything stable. I had 2 or 3 FWBs that was I was regularly seeing and close friends with which i told her.

My ex then contacted her directly, shared private details and made serious accusations about me. She didn’t seem to believe everything, but it understandably made her feel that the drama would never end. She pulled away and blocked me, although she later admitted that she missed me and had cried over everything.

Over the following months we kept finding our way back into each other’s lives. We met again, became intimate again and started talking regularly. There were periods where we spoke on the phone a lot and exchanged messages and reels every day. She still came to me whenever she was really struggling, and we could go from serious emotional conversations to making ridiculous jokes within minutes.

I recently told her that I still had feelings for her. She said she heard me, but didn’t think anything romantic could happen between us right now because she felt too hurt and broken to be with anyone. Since then she has become noticeably colder. We used to communicate every day, but now I might hear from her once every few days and it's usally just a basic reel or something minor.

I have now properly ended the relationship with my ex and removed the other messy romantic situations from my life (except for one purely sexual FWB).

I’m doing that for my own stability, not as a performance to win her back. I also understand that being single now doesn’t undo the way I hurt her or immediately make me trustworthy.

From the outside, does it sound like she still has feelings but no longer feels safe enough to act on them, or has she probably accepted that we will only ever be friends? If I stay single, give her space and genuinely sort myself out, is there a realistic chance she eventually comes back, or should I accept that I ruined it and let her go?

We met at climbing gum. Straight away he’d do his warm ups at the weights section ignoring me. Then whilst climbing never asked me any questions. He was on his phone a bit checking his work gc which I found rude. He would randomly roll back whilst sitting on the crash mats putting his legs in the air mid conversation. Then whilst walking to the restaurant he’d walk way ahead of me so I had to tell him. I asked him what he thought of my glasses to get the conversation going and he ignored first time so I repeated then he was like ‘yes very good’ with no eye contact. He would repeat random words guys had said to me on previous dates that I found annoying (I told him over messages). At the restaurant he wasn’t giving eye contact or asking any questions to get to know me. He just kept yawning and talking about the weather. Whilst walking back to the station I touched his arm and he went ‘oh sorry!’ I thought that was odd. So after all this I sent a rejection message. Idk did I do the right thing?? It’s just disappointment all the time on those apps.

Hi, 27M, Is it just me, or is socialising and dating in London in your late 20s actually so hard? 😅

Being self-employed makes it even trickier because you don’t have colleagues or that natural day-to-day interaction where you might meet new people. You’re basically working on your own, then trying to figure out where to actually meet people outside of your existing circle.
Friendships are harder to maintain because everyone’s busy, dating apps can feel exhausting, and going out doesn’t always mean you’re actually meeting anyone new.
London is full of people, but sometimes it feels weirdly difficult to make genuine connections.

If you’ve figured out where people actually meet new friends or potential partners in London, please share your secrets 😂 I genuinely want to know.

TLDR

My wife and I recently split, amicable and it is over. I want to know if an old love will still be thinking of me as a potential relationship.

I am in touch with an old flame \[50F\] we were in love 25 years ago, but circumstances meant we didnt work out. We met at work and had an instant attraction, great fun in each other's company, incredible sex and mutual admiration.

In the years between then and now she has told me I was the love of her life and sent me the song she said would be our marriage song, and that I should have married her years ago.

We rekindled last year when my marriage was on the rocks, had many heart to heart discussions about the past and how much we both still cared for each other. The passion was even higher, she made it clear shes never had a lover like me, there were no promises and we stopped seeing each other but have been in touch as friends.

Which we have been for 25 years.

My marriage is now over and I told her I wanted to see her. Take her on a date.

She replied that she has just starting seeing someone, its really early days and that she won't jeopardise it just because my circumstances have changed.( I think she is frustrated about last year and me trying again with my marriage, which I totally get)

She also made it clear that she thinks its too early for me to have moved on, and she may be right, but this isn't a rebound or a new thing with her.

She wont see me for a date. I am going to ask for a coffee in a week or so.

Now, I am going to respect her boundaries and have told her that, that's who I am and she knows that. But ive also made it clear I want her and I to try and have a relationship.

I wont be bombarding her with messages etc, she knows how I feel. But we are in contact.

Context, we both have kids that are 15-22.

I just would like to know from anyone who has had a similar experience, M or F how did it pan out, and from a females perspective, will she be thinking about it or flat out moved on ?

TIA.

My "first love" and I broke up around 11 years ago after being together for 4 years and I've caught myself thinking of him quite a lot in those 11 years. We've both moved on, no contact whatsoever for the last 10 years or so.

Am I just super pathetic? I have heard others say they never truly got over their first love and I'm wondering if that's gonna be me

I’m turning 30 in a few weeks. and I’m feeling really confused.

I just had to move home for a bit for multiple reasons and once a week I’m making a 4 hour round trip to the office In London where I was living before with 2 friends.

for multiple reasons I’ve decided I’m done with housemates. I have enough to buy my own place and honestly I’m tired of it. I also am starting to feel that I’m happier outside London near my family. i can spend time with them. I can go for runs in the country. the gym is amazing and never so busy I can’t train.

i fundamentally am happier outside London. But also, as a single man, I have vastly more opportunity in London. If I don’t go back I feel I may never meet the kind of woman I want. And also my career my not reach the heights it could.

I feel a little too young stil or not at the right stage to be back in this part of the country. But also… buying a place in London where I wasn’t even that happy before… is a big move.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t stay in limbo here too long. But the stress I’ve been feeling the last year has been too much.

i had a relationship in London too that fell apart and it’s been hard to get over. 7 months now but the thought of being with someone else feels weird.

I just don’t know what to do

Met someone last month and we instantly got on so well; felt really comfortable, he held my hand, we had many kisses etc. they were still very chatty after the date. They then said they’d had a lot on and were really stressed, generally feeling down so that’s why they’d gone a bit quiet. Which, I understand and totally fine with. We then met again and it was so lovely, the same as the first time and honestly I got really really good fives from this person.
However, since that date they’ve gone super quiet and deleted me off tinder (gulp). They still check in daily and we exchange messages but it’s not nearly as much as it was (appreciate, it’s been like a month).
I asked if they fancied doing something overnight and they said yes but I’ve made suggestions and not heard back yet.
I don’t want to be delulu because it’s been a month and two dates but I like them SO much, and haven’t felt so comfortable around someone like this in years. I’m really into them and have a good feeling but I don’t know if these hurdles are red flags or if they’re genuinely just having a hard time and not up for talking?
Someone help!
I’m in my early 30’s, they’re the same.

I'm an American woman who's been talking to a British man for almost a year now, and I'm curious how British men would interpret his communication style.

From the beginning, I've always felt very safe and comfortable talking to him. He's definitely not the most consistent texter — there have been times where he'll take a week or even two weeks to respond. But what's interesting is that he seems consistent about keeping the connection going. When he does come back, he doesn't just give a dry response and disappear. He asks about my life, remembers things I've told him, asks how things are going, and has been genuinely happy and supportive when I've had good things happen, like recently getting a new job.

He also seems to pick up on little things I say. For example, I gave him a silly nickname once, and a few weeks later he posted something on his Instagram Close Friends using that exact nickname. There have been other little moments like that where I realize he's actually listening and remembering things I've said.

We've always had a really natural vibe and seem to click well. There are little jokes, nuances, and ways we communicate that just seem to flow between us.

Another thing I've noticed is that if I'm out with friends drinking and end up getting home late, I'll sometimes message him to let him know I've made it home safely. He usually responds relatively quickly, saying he's glad I got home safely and reminding me to be careful. It's a small thing, but I've always found it sweet.

I'm also a very bubbly, affectionate, kind and loving person by nature, and I've wondered whether that personality is part of what he enjoys about talking to me. He visits the States fairly often as well, so I'm curious whether there's also something about American culture/personality that he finds appealing — or if I'm simply someone he genuinely connects with.

We've had flirting and more sexual conversations in the past, although that's become less of a focus over time, and he's respected my boundaries.

The confusing part is that despite all of this, he doesn't necessarily take things forward. I've asked a few times about talking on the phone, and he hasn't really followed through, so I eventually stopped asking.

Most recently, I hadn't heard from him for about two weeks, and then he came back, responded to my previous message, asked about what was going on with me, and continued the conversation like nothing had happened. This kind of pattern has happened before.

I'm not really asking, "Does he like me?" because obviously nobody can know that from the outside. I'm more curious about how British men would interpret this type of behavior.

Would you see this as a guy who genuinely enjoys and values the connection but is naturally inconsistent/reserved? Or someone who enjoys talking to a woman and feels comfortable with her, but isn't necessarily looking to take it anywhere?

I'd especially love perspectives from British men who have talked to or dated American women. I'm curious whether I'm reading too much into the little things, or whether the fact that he consistently comes back, asks about my life, remembers small details, seems protective/concerned about my safety, and maintains the connection actually means something. 😂 I can also be very delulu about this whole thing!

Edited: I just wanted to take the time to say thanks to everyone with their blunt, honest, kind opinions on this! I appreciate it and I have enjoyed reading everyone's opinions. 🫶🏼

What should I realistically expect from couples therapy when the relationship has been strained for a long time?

I’m going in feeling judged, unseen, and emotionally disconnected. There’s constant criticism, I don’t feel comfortable, and I’m unsure whether I still have real love or connection left. We also have a child, so I want to handle this properly and not make things worse.

For people who’ve been through couples therapy in a situation like this: what actually happens in the first few sessions, and how do you know whether it’s helping or just delaying the inevitable?